Asked To Dance

[deebra]

If you were in a club and all dolled up so you were either passing or blending and a nice looking and nicely dressed man came over and asked you to dance a slow dance with him knowing you would be holding each other with close body contact, would you accept, how would you feel?

[Elizabeth G]

Hmmmmm... would I accept? No. How would I feel? Flattered and validated I suppose.

[Krisi]

The danger with this is, there's a chance that him dancing with you is part of a dare or a bet. This would be an insult to you.

Being married, being "older" and not normally going to clubs, this is a situation I'm not likely to find myself in but I suspect I would decline the invitation unless the man was someone I knew or part of our party.

[aprilgirl]

I'm not much of a dancer, so when I do, there reserved for my wife. If that scenario came up, it wouldn't bother me, and politely decline.

[Shelly Preston]

This kind of depends on the person and the type of club.

Deciding to accept or not would depend on the moment there are too many variable to just give a yes or no answer.

Remember women have been dealing with this all their lives.

[Robertacd]

If I was single I probably would. But I am married, so I would not slow dance, but I would fast dance.

[Amy Lynn3]

I would decline. Sorry.

[Majella St Gerard]

slow dance with a stranger, No, with someone I know, maybe, depends. Dance to rock or disco/dance music, sure why not.

[Joni T]

Nope.
Jon

[Stephanie47]

My slow dancing is limited to my wife. If you do pass I believe it may not be in your best interests to lead a man on. I've read of many bad outcome where a man discovers the true sex of the person he is dancing or carrying on with, feels totally embarrassed or worse, and, the outcome is not nice for the cross dresser or transsexual. I will agree he may be acting upon a dare and I do concur it would be insulting to me.

[~Joanne~]

Nada, I would would pass all the way around without a second thought but I agree that I would be flattered that I was asked. I am never in these sort of places so the chance of it ever happening is slim to none, closest to none and like the others, it's a dance reserved for the mrs. ;)

[Danielle t]

I would just say I don't dance with men sorry

[Sarasometimes]

I would thank him but decline. I don't dance with men either. In fact i often wonder what women see in us. But I'm very glad they find something to love.

[Cheryl T]

I would be thrilled, excited, nervous and anxious.
I would accept and enjoy (hopefully) the experience.

I've always wanted to go on an all out "date". Dinner, dancing ... but no intimacy. I'm not that way but I would love to experience a date.

[Jaylyn]

Probably I'd say no especially the dances we go to. I love the old country dance halls here in Texas, the ones that play the country music I enjoy. The reason I'd decline is because if the song was the Cotten Eyed Joe, or a good old fast stepping two step with lots of twirls, then more than likely my wig would be the first to go, then my forms and my hose would fall down into the tall heeled boots and would cause me to stumble. Most places like the Tonks, Legion Halls, and our local street dances would probably get me beat up or hung.
We did go to a couples only place in Dallas once that was called The Jet Set, I don't think it would have mattered who was dancing with whom there. My wife and I are so dumb. Out here in West Texas we called swing music songs a whole different thing than they do in Dallas. This place was screaming with loud music and every body not wearing much and it was also a swinging place. It really was an eye opener that swing music and swinger mean several different things. Lol

[Dana44]

Uh yeah, I would. Actually he would know I was trans before asking me. LOL

[StephanieCLT]

This happened to me once! Back then, I was far less put together, and I'd guess I hardly blended. However, I was flattered. AND COMPLETELY caught off guard. So, I said "No, but thank you," which was my natural reaction. He asked if he could check back later, but I declined that, too. I've come to wonder what I'd say today, but that experience is something that has stuck with me (in a good way). :daydreaming:

[docrobbysherry]

Ha ha! Funny post, Deebra. What century r u living in?:heehee:
I haven't heard a "slow dance" played at a club in this century! Only at weddings.

However, I've danced quite a few fast couples dances with all number of folks at clubs, including GG's and men, while dressed. I find it very uncomfortable because I'm not a good dancer and don't know how to follow someone else's lead properly!:sad:

[sherri]

I've danced with guys many times in gay clubs,and with a few women, and love it. It does take a little practice to get used to not leading etc. Most of the dancing I've done has been two-stepping (some gay guys are REALLY good at two-stepping) and line dancing. I had never two-stepped before so it was all new to me and so much fun. If I were asked to dance by a man in a straight club I would have to know beyond a doubt that he was aware I'm a CDer, but in my case that's pretty obvious unless maybe he was reeeeaaallllly drunk. :-) If you get the opportunity I highly recommend giving it a shot, just for the fun of it. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

[Kayliedaskope]

Back in the day, slow dancing in country-western places was called "buckle polishing." Did quite a lot of that with some lovely buckle bunnies ...

If I was asked to dance (depending on the person), I would accept, because anyone asking would already know what I am. Obviously, I draw the line at creepy people.

[DIANEF]

Nope, not a chance.

[CrossKimmy]

I would given that the conditions are perfect. Why not enjoy?

[deebra]

I'm surprised at so many NO's. A lot of our members have said they would like to go on a date with a man to get the female feeling of being wined and dined as a woman. I thought some would like the feeling of a man's arms around them and their breasts pushing against this chest. Some members are bi, bi curious and gay. Looks like this would be a golden opportunity for them or curious straight CD's to experience this while being on the feminine side.

[DIANEF]

. Some members are bi, bi curious and gay..

Nothing wrong that, but some are perfectly straight and have zero interest in other men.

[Beverley Sims]

I have accepted requests on many occasions, mind you the people have known who I am.

When I was twenty I had a few steamy dances with with testosterone charged young guys.

Yes they knew me and both sides prompted the other to take part.

Talk about being naughty. :-)

[audreyinalbany]

no thanks

[sara66]

I don't dance no matter how I am dressed.
Sara

[Kendalli]

I can't dance to save my life, but I would totally give it a shot for the right guy or gal that asked politely.

[Ressie]

Count me in as long as he isn't gross or creepy. I love that kind of attention ;)

[Nikki A.]

If it was a guy I would probably say no. A female well yes I would. Although I must admit I would be flattered.

[Fiona123]

If I weren't married but dressed to pass or blend as you describe, I'm pretty sure I would say yes. Great question deebra.

[lingerieLiz]

When young I did. Back in the rock and roll period I loved to dance at sock hops. It was fun and I like the feel of the petticoats bouncing against my legs. I helped my sisters at dance class and they taught me to dance backwards. There was more than one guy that hinted about me being his date for a dance. I never did it until I moved away and went to a sock hop with a friend.

[Diane Smith]

There's a part of me that would love to accept, but on a scale of 0 to 10, my dancing ability is about a -8 . I haven't danced in public with anyone, male or female, since 1984, when I last completely embarrassed myself.

- Diane

[Sometimes Steffi]

I would feel flattered, but I wouldn't dance with him. I'm really only into girls and that's what I would tell him. In case he asked me to dance because of a dare by his friends, he could go back to them with an honest story.

Now, if a girl asked me to dance, I'd be flattered and excited. And, yes, I would dance.

[Michelle Crossfire]

Not a situation I ever anticipate occurring. I don't dance that much, and what dancing I do, is with my wife. If this situation were to occur, I would in all likeliness, decline the request politely

[Jillian Faith]

There's a part of me that would love to accept, but on a scale of 0 to 10, my dancing ability is about a -8 . I haven't danced in public with anyone, male or female, since 1984, when I last completely embarrassed myself.

- Diane

Diane LOL we probably have the same dancing skills. This is a tough one because I've always said when I dress I'd like to experience everything a GG does (short of sex with a man). Being married dancing a slow dance with a man might be fun as long my wife is ok with the activity and he is fully aware of my status, i.e. not a GG. Unfortunately I have embarrassed myself on the dance floor much more recently than 1984.

[ellbee]

This has happened to me before. I've talked about it a couple times here.


This was in a hetero club. Assuming by what I believed to be a hetero guy & who was genuine about it. He didn't seem drunk or anything.

Either he thought I was a GG, or simply a "hot tranny." Would a hetero guy intentionally dance with a tranny out on the dance-floor in a hetero club in front of everyone? Who knows, but probably not.


I had to wave him off -- twice. Once for each time he asked. There was no way that was going to happen. And part of that was simply I don't really dance, no matter how I'm presenting! (Though I have no issue with slow-dancing with a GG. :D )


Anyway, when it happened, I was floored... As were my friends. Very surreal experience. I wish I could have filmed the GG-friend sitting directly across from me, as I remembered her reaction best. After the gentleman turned around & left dejectedly, her eyes literally bugged out & her jaw dropped. Stayed that way for a while -- until she exclaimed something like "OMG!" and started laughing, still in disbelief & utter shock.

Yes, they ribbed me about it for the rest of the night. :roflmao:

(They also thought I should have said yes!)


I actually felt kind of bad turning him down, as the guy seemed nice & genuine. Kinda cute, too. Was I necessarily attracted to him? No. But I'm not afraid to admit when a guy is pretty good-looking. :o

Hey, kudos to him for having the nerve to walk up to a stranger seated among several of "her" friends, asking for a dance.


To this day, I still wonder if he "knew" or not. I did look pretty good that night.

I also wonder if & for how long he had been checking me out prior to that, because I certainly didn't see/notice him until the moment he walked up to me.


It's a pretty bizarre experience, especially if you're not expecting it.

[alwayshave]

I would not know how to dance where I did not lead.

[BrendaPDX]

I would accept if he wasn't a nut job. I would be nervous as hell, but that is part of the fun:o Brenda

[deebra]

As Jillian said, "when dressed I want to experience everything a GG does". Golden opportunity, if you say you can't dance... a slow dance is pretty much just moving your feet a little with a little sway in it. A gentleman would help you along. It's not like he's going to steal one of your arms or legs. So you are going to pass up a once in a lifetime chance to experience how you as a woman would feel being held closely by a man???? And he found you attractive enough to come over and ask you to dance. Wouldn't wearing a dress, hose and heels and your breasts in your bra pushing against his chest with his arm around you let you know what it feels like to be a woman ??? Ever heard it's better to try it than not and always wonder what it would have been like.

[CynthiaD]

I'd probably say yes. I like to dance, even though I'm really bad at it. It would be nice not to lead.

I'm married and I don't drink or go to clubs, so the opportunity will probably never present itself. But if it does, I'll probably say yes.

[laura.lapinski]

Assuming he knew I was a CD, and assuming I felt like I was at or near passing and felt good about my presentation, I would just have to see how I felt in that moment. I think I would say yes, but you never know unless you are in that situation. I would let my intuition and how I felt in that moment decide.

[Joyce Swindell]

I agree with most comments that slow dances are reserved for S/O or someone you know.

But....just to share an experience....my now wife and I were out on a date at a local gay club and I was dressed as Joyce. We had danced a bit but was standing on the sidelines watching everyone else at the moment. A young man approached us and asked me to dance. I was shocked!! I'm sure my look was priceless to my date as I looked at her with some bewilderment and shrugging my shoulders as to ask permission. Her response was immediate with her telling me "go on...have fun!!" Again I was shocked! I wasn't sure if I wanted to myself!! I relented and danced. Obviously this will be a moment I will never forget.

[Ressie]

So you never danced with someone that you just met Joyce? Maybe that's why many here don't dance? Asking someone to dance has always been part of getting to know others and it can be romantic. Of course there could be problems for those that are married!

[briana_betancourt]

Heck yes I would! I love dancing with men. It doesn't happen all that often, but I love getting that type of attention from men. To me, that's one of the best parts of this experience.

[Dr.Susan]

I don't go out but if asked I would tell I'm a CD first. Now if he asked while I was sitting he might change his mind when I stood up because, I'm 6 foot 6 in 4 inch heels.

I once met a member from here who is local to my area. He came in drab, to my house and I was dressed up. It was just for coffee and chat. We did a quick photo outside and I held his arm. I could not stop laughing because it seemed so funny to me, me holding a fellows arm.

We are pretty good friends now, just about ten years, but we mostly just meet up for a beer someplace in drab and talk about dressing and other day to day things.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Normally, when dressed as a guy, I don't dance, not even with my wife. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is the best, I'm maybe a 3 as a dancer. Although I can always slow dance just fine.

But, oddly enough, Steffi loves to dance. She doesn't dance any better than me, but she just doesn't care what people think.

In fact, last year at Keystone Steffi was dancing alone on the dance floor in the disco room trying to lure other girls on to the dance floor. Never would I have expected that,

[Piora]

I doubt I would ever be in such a situation, but if I was, I would decline. I'm heterosexual, attracted only to women, no matter how I'm dressed. My fantasies involve only them.

[Maria 60]

I believe I would be flattered but refuse the offer, but maybe a few drinks. Who knows

[jennifer0918]

I will say yes as long as he is a gentleman, and we do the ol' Potomac 2 step : p

[Rogina B]

As Jillian said, "when dressed I want to experience everything a GG does". Golden opportunity, if you say you can't dance... a slow dance is pretty much just moving your feet a little with a little sway in it. A gentleman would help you along. It's not like he's going to steal one of your arms or legs. So you are going to pass up a once in a lifetime chance to experience how you as a woman would feel being held closely by a man???? And he found you attractive enough to come over and ask you to dance. Wouldn't wearing a dress, hose and heels and your breasts in your bra pushing against his chest with his arm around you let you know what it feels like to be a woman ??? Ever heard it's better to try it than not and always wonder what it would have been like.

There sure are a lot of almost phobic responses ! Funny how "up close and personal" differs from "being Mamed" or having a door opened for you...It is doubtful that any seduction will take place on the dancefloor ! lol

[DIANEF]

There sure are a lot of almost phobic responses ! lol

You know it IS possible to be straight without being homophobic in any way.

[Piora]

There sure are a lot of almost phobic responses

Personally, I wouldn't do anything different dressed as a woman, than I would dressed as a man - including whom I am attracted to. While I DON'T want to trigger a debate (or to hijack this thread in any way) I have a lot of trouble understanding how people would somehow change who they are, if they consider themselves heterosexual, simply because they are dressed as a woman. There has to be something more there, if that's the case.


You know it IS possible to be straight without being homophobic in any way.

Of course. I have friends and relatives who are gay. And I suspect one or two are bi. While that certainly isn't my preference, it is theirs. I don't treat them any differently.

[FrannGurl]

If I had never met him before, I would have to say no to slow dancing .Its a little to intimate ...although after a few drinks who knows?:battingeyelashes:

If I knew him already though and he was aware of who I was , and I found him attractive you betcha:)

[Hannahhot]

I'd be pretty worried it was for a dare. But, I also wouldn't ever pass very well as a woman...being over 6 feet and all...

[Fiona123]

Even though I am straight mtf trans and CD I would consider dancing with a man for the sensuality of the experience. Assuming I could pass or blend (I cant). It's nice to imagine what it might be like.

[ellbee]

I believe the dare/bet thing is overblown, here.

*Could* it be something like that? Of course it could. Anything is possible.

But odds are, it's simply not that.


Some of you may be aware that there is a category of men out there who are known as "chasers." Meaning, if you're some flavor of trans, they desire you simply *because* of that fact. They will knowingly "chase" girls like this, perhaps hoping it leads to more?


I'm not personally one of those, per se. But the inverse of this thread...?

Years ago, one night some friends & I went to go see our drag-queen friend in a competition. (I was totally presenting as a guy, for some weird reason, LOL.) And afterwards, we all headed to a mainly-hetero club, but I believe it had some LGBT-leanings & -friendliness to it, as well. And there, I was introduced by a mutual friend to someone who was all dolled-up... Turns out "she" was one of the judges at the drag competition, and I recall myself checking her out a little during it. She did look pretty femmy, and she was one of those who had their own long & girly natural hair.

She & I ended up spending a lot of time together while at the club. Mainly sitting on a leather couch, just me & her, talking & drinking & physically cozying up. She was pretty cool (and pretty hot! :D ), but I think she was into me more than I was into her. I say that, because even though the allure was there, and I got more of a bi-gendered or even TS vibe from her, that last little part of me at the time still couldn't let go of the fact that she was born in a male body. But let's just say that I could have gone a lot further with it, if I hadn't held myself back a little too much.

Would *I* have voluntarily asked *her* to dance? Heck, yeah! But again, I don't really dance. :tongueout

Though I'm certain she would have said yes, heh.


Seriously, I'm not one to intentionally go fooling around with guys or "trannies" or whatever. But when I was with her, even though I knew in the back of my mind that she somehow fell under the trans umbrella, I honestly did see her as way more female than male, with the way she looked, talked, moved, behaved, etc. For all intents & purposes, she was basically more-or-less a GG, in my eyes.

Hey, on a different night? There's a decent chance I would have danced with her -- *and* possibly more, later on, elsewhere. :devil: :)

[Renee36c]

yes I would if he was hot .LOL

[IamWren]

Hmmmmm... would I accept? No. How would I feel? Flattered and validated I suppose.

What Elizabeth said... exactly.

[Iris Tse]

If he was a gentleman and asked politely, then yes. But other than a slow dance, it might be a challenge for me in 7 inch stilettos. LOL. Need to work on my moves!!

[Kayliedaskope]

I would ask you to dance, Iris, and would even catch you if you toppled off those 7" killers!

[Becky Blue]

Happened to me a few years ago at Diva's in San Francisco, I politely declined his offer. As Elizabeth said so eloquently, it was flattering but not tempting at all...

[faltenrock]

I dance with women and men, but never a slow dance, just for the fun of dancing and expressing my inner side by dancing and moving to the beat.

[Ceera]

I would dance, and enjoy it! In fact, I have done it, on several occasions. But I dress for possible close contact, and pass pretty well, so even if his hands wandered much more than they should, I would stand no more chance of being outed than in a fast dance.

Tango, Salsa and other dance styles are still popular in some parts of America, and still offer chances for slow dancing in clubs. And I also go to conventions, private dances and house parties where slow dancing is an occasional offering.

I should note, however, that my circumstances are different than for most of you.

First and foremost, I am single and bi, and I happily dance with anyone, anywhere on the gender spectrum. There is a very good chance that before that dance, I already would have been seen dancing with both men and women.

Second, I have been a dance instructor, and know how to dance both as a lead and as one who follows. When en-femme, I usually follow, if my partner is inclined to lead.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra :hugs:, That sounds interesting , But I would have to pass.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[josie_S]

I was asked once a million years ago (LOL) and he was so sweet and not hard to look at but it was my SECOND time out among people (not just out for a drive at 3am!) so I was too much of a chicken to say yes :sigh: I still regret it!

After that every time I went out I danced and have danced with CDs but no other man has asked me like that...it was kind of romantic in a weird way LOL