Never really thought of it

[Maria 60]

Last night we were relaxing with a bottle of red wine to but a crazy week behind us. For the first time in a while I was able to dress and enjoy a Maria night with my wife.
My wife is always asking questions about my dressing and last night she asked me if I was to come out to the kids and our parents and close friends what would I do. Would I dress in front of the kids, and if the kids came home while I was dressed would I run and get changed, or would I just stay dressed.
When we visit our parents and I'm wearing pantyhose without socks like I usally do when we go out, but put my socks on before entering there house, instead if they know would I not put my socks on and walk in there house with my pantyhose feet exposed. If our freinds make a surprise visit, there would be no reason to run and get changed and if I would feel comfortable staying dressed in front of them.
I told her that was a great question and strangly enough I never really thought about it because I really never considered telling anyone or taking that step. I told her I don't think I would feel comfortable dressing in front of my kids and parents, and how difficult and awkward it is at times just being dressed in front of her. So I told her I believe I wouldn't dress in front of family and friends if they found out. But it does have me thinking about it.
Just wondering if anyone here who is in the closet and decided to tell there family if you would feel comfortable dressing in front of your kids and parents?

[jennifer0918]

Ok I'm in the closet
Now if my wife was cool with my femme side,I would not be out to the kids or family or friends,my decesion. I will dress only for gender society socials, mall and girl time,dinner dates with her. This is just me ,not to in your face.

[bridget thronton]

My parents are dead. I have dressed around my kids - but not my very young grand daughters

[Pat]

Just wondering if anyone here who is in the closet and decided to tell there family if you would feel comfortable dressing in front of your kids and parents?

Please note the restriction on the Original Post. - Thanks, Moderator Pat.

[Krisi]

Now we have to define "in the closet".

I am out to, and dress in front of my wife. Am I "in the closet"?

[Alice Torn]

No way would i dress in front of my siblings. I may have accidentally outed myself to my sister last week though. Visiting her at a rehab place, i had hose under my pants and socks. But when sitting, my pants rose a bit above the socks, and off black hose could be seen almost an inch. I hope she did not notice, as she would tell my brother, and that would be hell.

[Marie-Jo]

Maria
To start with the basic question "if you would feel comfortable dressing in front of your kids and parents? " then I would say yes. But to complicate it:
- if one of those then would be clearly disturbed, then I would feel uncomfortable
- even if I see that some Other gets uncomfortable I would feel comfortable enough not to "run and change"
- but if I knew in advance I might consider proactively to not be dressed, if that makes a guest/visitor/relative uncomfortable.
But my baseline is that it is not me dressed that is the problem, it is You that make me uncomfortable if I'm bothering You. That is also regardless if You know in advance or not (the coming out time seqence thing).
So my simple answer is: Yes but depends. :eek:

[Samm]

My "closet" is big enough for myself, and my wife. There's no need for anyone else to know. If for some reason, my secret was out and those close to me supported me, I still would not feel comfortable dressing in front of my kids, or any family member. Certainly not my parents. Also, I can probably say that I wouldn't feel comfortable around them in male mode, should my secret get out. <<This is always in the back of my mind. If it did get out, I would own it, but that's about it.

[Cheryl T]

Parents are deceased and don't have kids.
The agreement when I came out to my wife was that relatives and close friends would not find out. That's good in some respects as some of the relatives in discussion of other subjects have expressed opinions that indicate they would definitely not be open to it and in some cases would be totally adverse.
I have friends in the community and so far that's been perfect for me. Things might change in the future, but that can't be predicted. We'll just have to wait and see.

I would be comfortable around them, but I don't think the opposite would be true at this time.

[Karen's Secret]

Kids, especially adolescents, have so much to deal with all on their own I would not want to add more stress to them by coming out to them or dressing in front of them. Sometimes as a adults we need to carry some burdens all on our own in order to lessen the burdens on others. Just my opinion.

[Teresa]

Maria,
That is the big difference , all my family know but haven't seen me , to me I'm not 100% out to them .

When I separate it is going to be debatable if they will accept me dressing or not when I'm in own home. I know my daughter doesn't have a problem but my son will be a different matter, as for my wife I believe she will reluctantly accept it if she drops in on me but maybe not if I visit her.

I know some will say if you believe in yourself then they must accept me dressed, so my decision will be how much do I value my family ?

At the moment all this is speculation .

[Marie-Jo]

Teresa
"how much do I value my family ?" That should also be reciprocal. How self centered will I accept them to be? Yes, there will be costs and gains.

[Alice B]

My parents are dead and my kids are adults. All know and have seen me dressed,including grandchildren.

[Marie-Jo]

We are skewing away from the OP: "if you would feel comfortable dressing in front of your kids and parents? "
Alice, Theresa
Did you or will you feel comfortable?
It is about your comfort, not about their acceptance.

[carhill2mn]

I agree with you that it would be awkward and uncomfortable for both my family and me if I presented to them as a woman. My daughters and husbands know that I like to wear women's clothes but we never talk about it.

[docrobbysherry]

Maria, I am a "closet dresser". 100's, maybe 1000's of people have seen me out dressed. But, none in my home town, non-T friends, or family members. I like it that way!

And, that's what makes me a closet dresser!:heehee:

[Tamsin Secret]

I wouldn't feel comfortable with either. :2c:

[Teresa]

Marie,
In my own home I will feel far more comfortable . My daughter and son in law will be OK , that again may create a problem because she will be outspoken with her support for me but I don't want her to be involved in family arguments over my situation . The whole point about me separating is to escape this situation ,the outcome might prove I'm being slightly naive over this issue .

[phili]

I'm sort of half in the closet- in that we can express kindness to others by picking and choosing who to involve.

I am perfectly happy now to wear any outfit I feel comfortable in out in the nearby big city to conduct normal shopping, movies, etc. But my wife is panicked at the idea of anyone we know knowing, so I do my best when local to stay closeted. The mitigating factor for me is that I am not feeling shame, just recognizing that crossdressing more or less is a strong but minority interest, like being a Civil war reenactor, or Dungeons and Dragons fan. It just is unfamiliar and seems strange to people, so they adopt some distance as a way to control their feelings. This can unnecessarily interfere with relationships that are working pretty well without having someone get that much into ur private life.

I have told my adult daughter, but she doesn't want to see me dressed- yet she shared the fact with friends and said they all were interested and said I should write a memoir! I would prefer to dress with her, as I like my dressed self and I am more relaxed and chatty. I do dress with my sister, who is an alternative healing expert and gets it. I dress with my Mom, but not am not since she moved to memory care and it would just be unnecessarily confusing there.

[Lana Mae]

I came home after being at the mall dressed! I was going to get in before my daughter got up, but...she was sitting on the sofa eating her breakfast! She had gotten up early that morning! This is the 36 year old who does not want to see daddy in a dress! I said, "Oh, I am sorry!" She said don't worry about it. I thought I would see you dressed sooner or later!" I liked her response but was not comfortable that it had happened that way! Note that I am verbally out to my daughter and son as well as my sister in law before this happened! Hugs Lana Mae

[lingerieLiz]

My sisters have always known and encouraged it. My mother thought it went away, but years ago she told me that it didn't bother her. She also gave me all my sisters' clothes that they stored along with some of mine from back in the day. Later on a business trip I stayed over night with her. The next morning I was getting dressed and she walked in without knocking. I had on a woman's cashmere sweater with bra showing my 36Cs projecting, a long denim skirt. I had planned to finish dressing in the car. She sat down and said, is that what your wearing today? I said yes. She said that looks nice. I went ahead and completed getting ready while we talked.

I would have no problem around my sisters, but their families don't know and have no need to.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife knows, but hasn't seen me dressed and doesn't want to. She hasn't even seen any of my girl clothes and doesn't know my girl name. She doesn't want me to tell our adult daughter and I'm not supposed to let her find out accidentally. I wouldn't tell my brother and both my parents have passed.

But, I have been out many times in girl mode, usually to TG socials, but occasionally shopping or eating out.

[Robin777]

My parents are deceased and I too don't have any children. I know from the way my brothers talk, if they ever found out that I dress they probably would not ever talk to me again or suggest that I needed to see someone about what I do. So I stay in the closet with my wife being just fine with my dressing. I doubt very much if any of wife's family would accept my dressing either. Thinking back about my mother, she probably would have accepted my dressing. I know my dad would never have.

[Samantha981]

I would definitely not be comfortable dressed in front of kids or parents.

[Abbyru1]

I've managed to keep my secret that way . My wife knows but she isn't really happy with the idea. I wear nitegowns to b and my laundry gets washed with everything else. My clothing hangs in the closet we share. However, my family does not know and I would not be comfortable sharing that information at all. Hopefully, I can keep it that way.

[leannejacobs]

My wife told her best friend about my dressing some time ago, she's also seen lots of pics, I showed her them, I'm actually itching to be dressed in front of her, no idea how I'll go about it but it'll happen sometime.
My mother knows too and has seen pics, if I happen to be dressed any time she comes round, I will just let her in and she can deal with it, she'd be ok, that's the only others I'd let see me dressed.

Only my wife, my cousin and her daughter have seen me dressed in the flesh so to speak, of people I know obviously, many strangers have seen me out and about.