Humor and crossdressing

[Teri Ray]

Just a fleeting thought.

My wife and I are much more open in discussing my dressing desires and constraints. The desires understanding part stems from my wife's efforts to try to understand what the desire is and, if possible, why there is a desire. These discussions are never easy and often awkward. But since we have become more open in these discussions one thing seems clear; open honest discussion is good. Honesty and exchange of opinions is also good and beneficial. Throughout these awkward and often uncomfortable discussions one thing seems to help (at least helps me) is choosing to attach some humor in the discussion. I know for some, their gender dysphoria is not at all funny and humor may be inappropriate. But I honestly believe for me and my wife open and honest dialog is very important (she would rather deal with honest information than deal with the unknown). Sharing this information in lighthearted humor makes these serious discussions somewhat easier. I am not saying this topic is funny but sharing information with your spouse who is making effort to understand and make effort to accept your dressing desires can benefit from seeing the humor in it. Life is complex no matter what issues you are facing. Being able to share life's up and downs with some light hearted humor can't be all bad. Right?

I know my progression though the crossdressing skills development scale has been filled with some pretty funny stuff. Maybe I am just lucky enough to not take myself too seriously. I am lucky to have a loving spouse who does make effort to put up with my dressing desires and I believe she does make effort to accept what she can deal with. AND she accepts my humor......(although sometimes I wonder if she take me seriously).

I may have more panties than my wife..........seriously.

Thanks for listening and I hope you all are staying safe and doing well............seriously. (did you get the gist?)

Teri

[Jaylyn]

I do get the gist and understand totally. My wife and I always include some humor in just about every conversation. We used to in the dressing part but as she has aged she seems to find less humor in it. I'm to the point of just do it and only when she is not around.
I think my wife have started taking my dressing seriously and it has worried her some. She is always telling me she loves those manly men.

[Julie Slowinski]

A few weeks ago my wife texted saying that her work was hosting a Drag Bingo Charity Fundraiser at Hamburger Mary’s and if I thought we should attend. I replied that I wasn’t sure ... those dudes in dresses kinda creep me out 😜.

Of course, we did attend and brought the kids. We figured it would be a good way to test the waters with the kids and see how they would react. At worst they would gain some tolerance. They were totally unphased by the drag part. However, there were some sexual references that made for some interesting conversations on the drive home - the most awkward being why was everyone yelling when she called O69?

[AllieSF]

Not strange at all. A lot of people, more than we think sometimes, intersperse humor into serious discussions. I do it. I think that it helps keep the topic in focus and helps prevent wandering away for the main point with our emotions when they start to get hot. Smiling a lot also helps as long it isn't one of those sly looking ones. Then the whole show could go down the drain very quickly.

[IleneD]

Teri,

Bless your heart. A great heartfelt post. I love stories like this.

Yes, it is not easy being Me. CDing is not easily understood nor accepted universally.
A Spouse who takes the care and effort to investigate the "condition", and tries to understand the phenomenon is a blessing. It's frustrating for both the dresser and the SO. Often it "appears" late in the relationship. It changes relationships. But one who takes the love and time to do intelligent research often come more and more over towards acceptance.

I know my Wife went to great lengths to learn from pro and con CD sites. She did it on her own because she wanted to understand what was happening to her man. God bless her for it. We still have frustrations over my CD-ing and her fear that I may be TG. But she learned even more than I understood. As a result, she's been more "accepting"; even helpful to a great extent with my wearing my clothes. I know her seeing me about en femme makes her slightly uncomfortable still. We've only been mutually addressing my Inner Woman for little over a year. (Still learning.). I try not to exploit my freedom to dress fully, and to respect her space for the time being. With time she will be more comfortable living with my femme self (I hope, and if what's going on with your wife is an example, things can be good)

Things are getting better. Today, for example, The Wife bought me a dress. Yes, bought me a dress online. It was one was saw in a Macy's store together, bought it and brought it home only to find it cheaper on the Macy's site. LOL. But.... (think about it), she bought me a dress. And when we brought it home to try it on, she saw I was wearing a bra and lacy camisole under my guy sweater and didn't make a comment.

Communication is the key. We still have some "awkward" talks as you say; some frustrating. But we talk as best we can. Everything you've offered is positive.

[Elizabeth G]

Two days after my wife found out about my crossdressing she made a joke about it and it was the first indication to me that we might get through this. It's a year later and I'm not saying things are perfect by any means but we can still find humor in the situation and that certainly helps.

[Carole]

My wife and i seperated 2.5 years ago due to her not accepting my dressing despite having been married for 28 yrs at the time. Recently we were in a local town doing the rounds of Charity shops (Thrift stores), she spotted a Jane Shilton leather handbag on sale at £4-00 ($5.25) and mentions it; I say 'do you want it?' 'No' she says but if you buy it for yourself I know where it is if I want to borrow it' Haha it is now my main use handbag!!!!

[NicoleScott]

Not just crossdressing. Most every aspect of life can benefit when a little appropriately placed humor lightens the mood. There are even funny jokes about death, but are best not told at a funeral. Appropriately placed.....

[Pat]

"Many a true word is spoken in jest." Humor is a common defusing mechanism for things that are difficult to say. It can be the grease that allows the difficult thought to come out, or it can be the preemptive shield that we put up when we expose our inner selves. No topic is too serious to joke about -- that's why we have the phrase "gallows humor." ;)

[Robertacd]

Humor can certainly help, my wife and I joke about it all the time. One of her favorite things to do is like on a weekend morning if she want's coffee and pastries she will kind of mope "Oh I would love to go out to get coffee and pastries, but then I would have to put on my bra." I would say like "yeah, whatever." then she will say " Well you are already wearing a bra, so you go get them."

Also I have way more bras and panties than my wife. Seriously she has like two bras and maybe ten panties, I have a an over stuffed drawer full of them.

[Stephanie47]

I have more bras and panties than my wife. More hosiery. More heels. More dresses (159). But zero understanding. Both of us use humor frequently, but, it's never with cross dressing. She will never talk about me, her husband, in any cross dressing context. We have had many conversations which have been supportive of sexual minorities; gays and lesbians, transgender men and women and especially kids. One of her female cousins has a child transitioning from woman to man. A man dressing as a woman is just not something that she signed up for years ago. Oh, how I would love it if she patted my pantied butt and made a joke. She can joke about being a breast cancer survivor, but, her husband wearing a dress? No chance.

[Sarah Doepner]

Teri,

I worked with law enforcement and other first responders over a 30 year career and if it were not for the ability to find humor, often very dark humor, in the worst of situations, many of them would leave and find something else to do. Humor is a great way to relieve tension and if you can find ways to laugh at the complexity or unexpected conflicts in being trans, you will survive much longer. It's when we are totally serious, all the time, that the problems we face tend to only have a negative face. That makes them more serious and less likely to have a solution. When we can laugh, we can find a remedy, so keep laughing.

[Beverley Sims]

I think we all have more clothing choices that our wives........

And they say women can't make up their minds.

The answer is in my chest of drawers. :-)

[DMichele]

Teri,

Interesting post - thanks for sharing.

I agree with many of the responses that humor can be used to lighten this mysterious thingy (i.e. CD, non-binary TG, etc.) that we do. I think it is important to be able to laugh at oneself in benevolent ways. My ex-wife could laugh at comedy in movies and on TV, but was always way too serious when it came to life.

So keep on lovingly laughing and smiling.

[Krisi]

Humor?

I have breast forms with sticky backs to keep them in place. This is nice but the backs have to be washed now and then so they will stay sticky.

One day I washed my forms and left them on a towel on the bathroom counter to dry. My wife walked in, saw them and commented "Washing your boobs?" I replied "Yep." She replied (smiling) "When I want to wash my boobs I just step into the shower."

[NancySue]

I told my wife of my CDing before we married, thinking she’d bolt. She didn’t and we spent many moons talking. She has a great sense of humor, as do I. I wondered if it would extend into this new world. Thankfully, it has. Early, she’d tease me about how I can’t seem to wait to put on, what she couldn’t wait to take off, i.e. bra, hose, heels, etc. For us, we both believe, our sense of humor, our teasing, etc. has brought us even closer. I wear two bra cup sizes...b and d. She smiles and says, “at least I don’t have to make a choice”.

[Jaymees22]

I think if we can't find humor in this there is probably something wrong...Jaymee

[Karen RHT]

Life becomes even more enjoyable once we learn to chuckle at ourselves, and share those chuckles with each other.


Karen

[Kayliedaskope]

If you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?

During an interview with Jerry Lewis, he mentioned a quote from his friend, then-president John F. Kennedy. Kennedy was quoting Aubrey Menen (1912–89) when he said, "There are three things which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. Since the first two pass our comprehension, we must do what we can with the third."