Christmas List

[Traci H]

Every year I hope that I will get something from my wife that is fem. Be it a birthday or Christmas, or whatever, I always hope and it never happens. I suppose it would be a sign of some acceptance, and maybe that is never going to happen.

I have thought however that maybe she just doesn't know what to get me, or the fact that say she might just buy me some panties, but I have so many that she would no know what I don't have.

So I wondered about putting together a short list of fem things I would like and give it to her. We often put out lists to each other or ask our kids for a list, as it is sometimes hard to know. I am not sure how I would present such, and I would just keep it to a few simple and not super fem items. I was thinking of maybe a female robe, that would not look real fem, maybe a sleeping gown or chemise, again, not real fem. Maybe even a sweater that was not over the top. Gees I love soft chenille. Things like that.

I would not put bras, garter belts, or even panties on the list.

I just don't know how this would go over. She might just get pissed and say she is not helping to implement my road to femininity. I maybe am being a fool for thinking there might be some acceptance there eventually. I guess I am just continually optimistic and maybe continually let down.

Have any of you tried this before or some thoughts about proceeding down this path?

Traci

[Stephanie47]

I made a comment to your thread on retirement and cross dressing. If your wife is antagonistic toward you wearing women's clothing I really do not understand why you would rile her up. I understand trying to get her to accept some aspect of wearing women's clothing. Your lucky to be able to put your panties in a draw. Even that is not a validation of your cross dressing.

Decades ago I pestered my wife to buy me something as simple as some panties for my birthday. She reluctantly went with me to Mervyn's at the local mall. It was a total disaster. She was very uncomfortable. At the time I'm sure she thought everyone in the store knew the panties were for me. I realized at that moment my desire for acceptance was nothing short of spousal mental abuse. She did not sign that marriage license with any knowledge cross dressing was going to arise after the "I do!"

Make your own Christmas list and take a day and shop for yourself.

[Charlotte7]

This is a difficult one. Without knowing the exact circumstancs of your relationship. It's not really possible to be specific. So, generally, my thoughts are, that if you do exchange lists then, initially you aim low and small. Maybe include a very limited selection, possibly only one thing, on a list containing other things. In this way, you'd be putting the feelers out and letting her know that you'd appreciate something on the fem side, but not overwhelming her in one go. Even in a very accepting relationship, I have learned that there are times to proceed slowly and with caution. And, when you win a small victory, then the line has been moved ever so slightly your way, so the next time you can try to move it ever so slightly further.

[Minnietheminx]

I woud do as Stephanie says and make a list yourself and treat yourself. You may push her acceptance further away if you push too hard. Maybe one Christmas she will just surprise you but when it feels right for her xxx

[Micki_Finn]

If she hasn’t been accepting to this point, asking her to buy you girly stuff, especially on such a traditional family oriented holiday is over the top and you’re just asking for trouble.

[Ariana225]

I agree with most of the comments here. Don't push the issue. Treat yourself to something girly. I know one day when my wife surprises me with something it will be another step. But it has to be on her own will, not forced, or it won't mean the same to me.

[Pat]

Giving her a list with only fem things would be putting her on the spot. I'd suggest making a list containing a mix of items and let her choose.

[Beverley Sims]

Be like me, just wait for the presents that come, and maybe there will be a greater surprise than you normally expect.

My lingerie gifts usually come at unexpected times and usually are more appropriate then.

[Alice B]

I understand. I have never received a XMAS or Birthday gift from my wife that is for Alice. I doubt I ever will, but my daughter, 2 daughter in laws and a granddaughter have given me gifts for Alice. Go figure?

[Lana Mae]

I buy Christmas gifts for Lana Mae. I have not received any but you never know! (Would have to be daughter, son, or sister in law because they are the ones I am out to!) Hugs Lana Mae

[lingerieLiz]

My wife has given me fem things in the past. A few times they were sexy lingerie. We usually just buy what we want, so gifts aren't a big thing between us. We do shop together and try to be honest about what we think of each others pics.

Don't force her to participate in your "hobby" she may accept it eventually.

[alwayshave]

My fiancee has given me jewelry for Christmas which was one of the best gifts I have ever received.

[Ameli]

I understand this feeling. I sometimes get femme gifts and these items are treasured. I’m always hoping for something for my femme side at Christmas or my birthday. It also makes me think hard about what personal things she might enjoy for her birthday.

[Traci H]

Thank you to all for your responses. It is certainly a diverse group of answers and I will consider all of them. I am not sure how I will proceed yet if at all. It is just something that’s been in the back of my mind for a while. I believe I am looking for some acceptance or validation that may not be coming and it may not be fair for me to press such for my wife. I remain eternally optimistic however.