Why do I HAVE to have/do more?

[Jenny22]

I'm at a stage in my fem life that I simply MUST, and I mean must, do more. It all began, at a young age, with all I want to do is wear some panties. That's evolved into scads of clothing, makeup, shoes, 5 wigs and loads of jewelry, including a wedding ring set. I've been out a bit, but now need to do more, and I'm planning on it with a forum sister to go to a T-Girl night at Hamburger Mary's in Long Beach.

I know there are other girls here like me, so I ask, "Why are WE driven to want to do so much more as our femme selves?"

[Nikki A.]

Once you have a taste, especially when you start to go out and you realize that all your fears were internal, it seems that you want to do more, try to do it better, try different looks. Like many women, we have a full closet, but we have nothing to wear or just this one piece because it is so different.
I have enough clothes that there is really nothing I need, but when I go shopping, an item really has to scream to me or has to fit right or fill a spot that I need and be reasonably priced. I do thrift shops and Sal. Army stores.

[Teresa]

Jenny,
The femme side is part of us we really do need to live it , what is so wrong with expressing part of us to the World ? I hate to say it but at your age if you don't do it now you never will ! Which will you regret more going out and living it or staying hidden away in the closet ?

[Maria 60]

It's human nature to want more, that's what drives us humans to never stop advancing. A few weeks back I went for a drive fully dressed and put gas in the car even though it didn't need it, just love the feeling of the outdoors. While I was putting gas a wind blew from under the car lifting my dress straight up, I look down at my exsposed pink panties and then tried to put it down in a lady like manner.
That's all I think about now, to relive these moments that we have to perform as women, can't wait to get out there again and experience some more memorable moments. I know where your coming from, and the problem is when we go forward, going back is not a option. Thanks for posting.

[Helen_Highwater]

Jenny,

"Why are WE driven to want to do so much more as our femme selves?" Perhaps in some way it's because we want to feel "normal". By that I mean that in having all the clothes, shoes, wigs, put on makeup, we want to put all that into the arena where it's meant to be, out there in the wider world. It's us saying this is who I am and I want to experience what GG's experience. I not only want to wear what women wear but emulate that what they do as well.

[Tracii G]

There have been hundreds of posts about this.
The reasons vary so much it depends on the person.

[Kas]

No offence, but do it while you still can! You'll regret it if you don't!

[docrobbysherry]

I can't speak for others, Jenny. But, for me, Sherry is; excitement, adventure, and an unending challenge!:D

[suzanne]

Just my theory based on my own life. In the time and place where I grew up (small town in the 1970's) t.he biggest taboo I knew of was for a man or boy to be effeminate. Anyone who showed the slightest tendency received the three letter f-word label and was singled out for ridicule and abuse. There were a variety of methods to avoid that treatment. The most effective was to keep it under wraps. In my case, nobody ever saw me in my mom's clothes, and I was a competent athlete so I felt I would be the last one anybody would suspect. It worked well enough to get me through high school unscathed.

But, in the same way that you can't stop a flood, but merely divert or delay it's effect, you can't prevent a CD from expressing herself forever. It comes out eventually, and sometimes with a vengeance like when a dam breaks. I think of a pendulum. It swings from one extreme to the other, only settling in the happy medium after a very long time. My gender pendulum was forced into the extreme "male" end for so long that once I felt some freedom, I collected women's clothes until my wife felt I was obsessed.

[Aunt Kelly]

Jenny,

The reasons are "several and various", enough so that you will find both common threads and confounding dissimilarities between almost any two of us. In other words, any one of us could give you our "reasons", and some of those would ring true and others would not, leaving you no closer to that "understanding" you're looking for. My advice is to let it be enough that there are so many like us. Go for finding peace with yourself and in accepting that, whatever your reasons are, that's enough. Do that, and you will find that the drive you speak of will abate. Don't do that, and you will suffer through the common pattern of indulgence, guilt, purging, etc. that is so common among we TG folk.
Accept your nature and give your self the space to explore it. Professional guidance through territory like this will probably help, but it's not a requirement. Just know that without a guide, the path may be longer and lead to a few pitfalls.
Good luck on your journey.

Hugs,


Kelly

[kimdl93]

I have gone around in mental circles on this topic. During my ‘perhaps is an addiction or OCD ‘ phase, I’d persuaded myself that I pushing the envelope to secure an Endorphin rush. Other times I attributed this to simple boredom with the status quo. While there may indeed be some measure of truth in these interpretations, I also recognize that we are social animals. We need human contact, and crave acknowledgement/affirmation of who we are in our entirety.

[Dana44]

Wow, I can say that as a male most of my life and being transgender most of those years working yet had to display male. So now and retired. I would rather be a woman. The male life was good but as finally being able to display feminine. it is the want for a better life and the fact that we want to be accepted.

[sometimes_miss]

so I ask, "Why are WE driven to want to do so much more as our femme selves?"
Because it feels good, and we're tired of suppressing the desire to do it. Think: If you had never had ice cream, and just tried it today, loved it, would you want to wait another 30 or whatever years before you had more? Of course not. You'd want ice cream every day for a while, then, in all kinds of varieties.

[Sami Brown]

For myself, I have a bunch of fear that I am trying to overcome, not only as a crossdresser but with my life in general. I get a true sense of accomplishment when I overcome my fears, and I feel that I must continue to do this in order to become a better human being.

Although it still isn't easy, I am amazed at my progress. It isn't easy, but it is easier, if that makes sense.

Sami

[Jaylyn]

I have no idea why I want to go farther but something from deep inside tells me to buy another wig, more panty hose, and more makeup. I have enough now but seems it's almost like a hobby or addiction sometimes. Wife keeps telling me no more, your a man not a woman. She thought it was just a sex fantasy but deep down feeling the silk softness is something I love. Something snide drives me.

[DIANEF]

As far as clothes, wigs make up ect are concerned I already have more than enough, but if I see something I like, and I have the money, I get it. Why? why not.
And it is only in the last year or so that I have started going out. Fear kept me indoors, but as soon as I found out that fear was baseless I've done it more and more. If you're making a journey you have to takes steps, and for me each time out, each time buying something openly for myself or whatever else I do, is another step

[Meghan4now]

Fear of missing out?