Fem qualities that "she" likes

[mattfrykowski]

So my wife and I have been kinda quiet since I came out to her a few nights ago. She is still being very loving and caring toward me and she seems to be waiting for me to bring up the subject, but I am going to wait at least until after the weekend for her to talk.
My question is after you have come out to your wife has she ever told you that there are qualities that your feminine side has that she didn't know she liked/loved or didn't know you had.

[Jaylyn]

Mine said that I was more compassionate in female mode and much sweeter then she finished with she still loves a manly man. I think she just tolerated me for a while.

[Chelsea B]

I think in my case, there were always feminine qualities in me (sensitivity, compassion, gentleness) that she, as part of the package, loved and attracted her to me. Before I told her, she just didn’t know what they might be connected to. I’m not sure that made it any easier for her to accept my CD’ing...the jury is still out.

[Hannahhot]

My wife still doesn't know about this secret. However, she really appreciates how sensitive and observant I am. She's said, more times than I can count, how lucky she is to have a husband that's romantic, sweet, sensitive and patient. I've also picked out some pretty good clothes for her before (which I am far from skilled at). But, I like to think I have a bit better eye for color/style than most normal guys. :)

[Stacy Darling]

No, not here!

I was already the housewife with dinner cooked and flowers throughout the house, to put it simply!

It for me is not my so called feminine qualities which are the issue, as she is quite happy to have all of those!(It's the Dress)

Hope your next talk goes well, go slow now!

Stacy!

[Rayleen]

Like Stacy said, I am the cook , housework, shopping groceries and family planner.

I find that I'm more in a sensitive and sweet mode when dressed or underdressed.

One thing, she will always compliments me as her man, but tolerate me in my dressing.

A lots of time , she will compliment me of my choice of clothing, and invite me to help choose her cloths and will always go with her cloths shopping.

[NancySue]

I have some difficulty accepting that there seems to be two classifications of how a husband treats his wife and visa versa. I’ve never considered being romantic, nice, patient, sensitive, considerate, enjoying music, art, etc. feminine traits. Seems to me, this world would be much better if more would express “feminine” feelings. My dressing, if anything, just intensifies these feelings. She loves it...and so do I.

[Corrine]

Yes there are qualities she likes when I'm in the pink! She says I'm much more caring. Maybe because when I'm getting dressed I ask her for her opinion a lot. Flirting and foreplay last a whole lot longer. I guess we have more in common when Corrine comes to visit.

[sarah_hillcrest]

Since being more open with my wife she has told me she really enjoys the time we spend together and says I'm definitely paying more attention to her. I think that was key to reaching a point of acceptance with her.

[Aunt Kelly]

First of all, you have just dropped a bomb into your spouse's reality. A big one. Do not underestimate that. She is still absorbing this news, processing it, probably researching it. Don't push. Just let her know that you realize what a major thing this is, that you are ready to talk more when she is. If she is ready to engage, great. If not, leave it right there.

My wife does notice and appreciate my "softer" qualities. I am "more patient and caring" when I let my fem self get closer to the surface. Granted, it wouldn't take much to improve my guy self, but just sayin'.

Seems like you are in a good place, though. Best of luck to the both of you as you explore it.

Hugs,


Kelly

[Stephanie47]

I am quite curious about these supposed qualities that are inherently feminine. Would someone please enumerate these qualities which only seem to be only attributable to the female sex of the human race. These questions make it sound as if males are suppose to be the opposite of whatever you think up as "women only" attributes.

[terza]

i definitely agree w/ a couple of the posts of doubting gender traits. it is pure crank to believe in the myth of "hunter vs gatherer." if people hold on to these laughable archaic notions, then they really don't want any social progress.

[Teresa]

That side of me would be accepted grudgingly by my wife , I do resent that part being ignored as if it doesn't exist .

I do most of the cooking, cleaning and many other domestic jobs but now she's in her element because I'm having to wear old work clothes and steel capped work boots now I'm renovating her house. She watched me knock a wall down and block up a door and then render and plaster it and all she could say is ," Who's a clever boy , why do you want to strut about in women's clothes when you can do all this ? " Words failed me !!

[mattfrykowski]

Thank you all for the answers, a lot of you answered my question in many different ways. I asked this question not upset anyone by saying there are feelings that only women are allowed to have or that only men can have. It is a fact that men act differently than women not because we are suppose to but because that is what society brainwashes us to think. I can only speak for myself but there are many feelings that I suppressed over the years because as a child I thought they were incorrect thoughts.
I know the world is slowly changing and that is happening because of sites like these that allow people to acknowledge how they feel and not be afraid to express themselves by actions, clothes, how they speak etc.
Thank you all for being a part of my discovery and please forgive me if I offended any of you with my question.

[Rogina B]

Curb your enthusiasm ! Like Kelly did,I will again remind you that you dropped a huge bomb on her ! Processing this takes TIME. There will be question and answer sessions to come.They will happen when she wishes for more,not until. Like Teresa's wife,she may not get it and say negative things. Too early to overthink this.

[RADER]

My wife told me that all of her friends where very jealous of her because of me.
She said her friends where taken back on well I treated her, almost like a Queen.
Well in my eyes, she was; but I treated her like the special "Lady" she was.
I miss her.
rader

[sometimes_miss]

So my wife and I have been kinda quiet since I came out to her a few nights ago. She is still being very loving and caring toward me and she seems to be waiting for me to bring up the subject, but I am going to wait at least until after the weekend for her to talk. My question is after you have come out to your wife has she ever told you that there are qualities that your feminine side has that she didn't know she liked/loved or didn't know you had.
My ex initially liked the sensitive behavior that I expressed; all the nice things I did, how I remembered so many of the important dates and did all the little things that made her feel that I loved her. The little unexpected presents, how I did things that most men won't, like just doing the laundry RIGHT without ever being asked, cleaning around the house, sitting patiently when she was shopping for herself, remembering all the little things that women do, which men don't. But that was all dismissed when she took it all in, and then unilaterally decided that it must all be because I was a transsexual. THAT made her furious, and no explanation of why she was incorrect in that assumption would convince her otherwise. Seems that women have no problem with us BEHAVING in nice ways, but actually really being a nice person all the time isn't what they're interested in. They want the 'beast'; only they want the beast to be nice to ThEM. Just like the madonna/***** personas that supposedly are what all men want, all women want the delusion that their SO is an alpha male who will destroy or kill enemies, but is always kind to his mate and kids.