Running in the family

[JeanetteX]

Hi all, it has been quite some time since I last posted here. I had a few reasons to be silent but in the end I guess it's true what they say...blood is thicker than water :battingeyelashes:

Anyway, I have a question for you. The other day I was at my brother's to discuss a combined birthday party that we'd like to organise as both our birthdays are only a few days apart. We'd like to do a theme party, and after trading some ideas my brother, to my big surprise, mentioned the 'crossdressing theme' (he doesn't know a thing about my dressing....I am absolutely closeted about it to my family, and will remain so for now). After laughing a bit about the idea we waved it off as a nice joke and gave it no more thought, and continued discussing other ideas. But when I got back home later that evening I just could not get his words out of my mind. Did he really mention it as a complete joke, or could there be a chance that my own brother is secretly a crossdresser too, just like me? After all I am pretty sure that I could see a light in his eye when he mentioned the idea! Could it be that it runs in my family?

So my question to you is...most of us here will know other CD/TG people, either in real life or at least in today's online world. But how about your own family? Do any of you know or have your suspicion about a MTF father, brother, cousin or FTM mother, sister etc. within your own family? And if so...how did you find out? Did you or the other family member bring it up? And what were the reactions like? Cause I bet it can lead to some hilarious situations, revelations and stories, as it must be an amazing and very surprising thing to find out when your own family member turns out to be a crossdresser too. I look forward to those stories folks!!!

[Laura912]

This does not quite answer your question and risks hijacking the thread, but you really need to call your brother and tell him that after thinking about his idea, you think the party theme of cross dressing would be fun.

[Charlotte7]

No, my brother is not a CD. Obviously I can't be sure, he may be (very) closeted, but his attitudes to anything other than straight up and down sexuality are very antediluvian. Actually, I can be reasonably sure, because when we were growing up and shared a bedroom, I had all the (best) available hiding places.

[rachael.davis]

For whatever it's worth - I got to spend a week in California with a GG who has morphed into my big sister, she and her husband have walked me through some very rough patches, and she made it clear that she was only going to tolerate male presentation on arrival and departure - tough love on transitioning :)
They belong to an outrigger canoe club, which has a heavy Hawaiian / Samoan / Polynesian membership - I spent some time there - the Polynesians were massively accepting (part of their culture), one woman mentioned that for some reason some families have two or three transgendered members, some have none, so yeah I suppose there could be something genetic

[Ressie]

If my brother suggested a crossdresser theme I would guess that he suspects that I cross dress rather than suggesting that he does.

I have a nephew that always wears women's cotton underwear, and I found lingerie in his bedroom once about 15 years ago.

My brother is trans/homophobic but I remember him having a girly magazine with a TS as one of the pictorials. IIRC, he had that page bookmarked somehow. hmmmm...

My sister (who was bi) told me that my other nephew had her panties in his bed when he was younger. Probably just a fetish thing. He's shown a bit of androgyny in the past but I doubt that he crossdresses.

It's possible that some other males in my family have had CD experiences of some sort. I've pondered the possibility a few times when trying to find why I CD. Two of my grandfather's brothers were bachelors for example.

[Taylor186]

If my brother suggested a crossdresser theme I would guess that he suspects that I cross dress rather than suggesting that he does.

^^Agreed.^^

I have one brother and I cannot imagine that he crossdresses, and I don't think that his wife would put up with it. My dad didn't either and I know this because as a kid I investigated every nook and cranny of his bedroom.

[NicoleScott]

Did he really mention it as a complete joke, or could there be a chance that my own brother is secretly a crossdresser too, just like me?



....OR.... did he, for some unknown reason, suspect you crossdressed and he was baiting you to come out to him? Come out by enthusiastically jumping at the suggestion.

I have no evidence that crossdressing runs in the family. There are a LOT of crossdressers, so there are bound to be families with multiple CDers even if the desire to crossdress happens at random.

[Robertacd]

I believe it does run in the family. I know my older brother has dabbled in crossdressing, but never embraced it like I have.

Also I hid my CDing from my son and when he was probably 12 or 13 my wife found one of her old bras under his bed. She just kinda groned "Like father like son" and put it back under his bed.

[Sallee]

I saw pictures of Dad at a party with mom and he was cross dressed. Mom may have put him up to it, she was an actress and pretty liberal like that. She use to give my girl friend, who seldom wears a skirt, very nice skirts that would fit me. My mother knew I dressed and probably would have embraced had come out to her. I was deep in the closet then.
Back on topic no I don't think dad was one of us but he did dabble in it probably do to mom

[Jaylyn]

I had an uncle that I suspicion was a CD. He always wore men's nylon socks that looked exactly like those calf high hosiery. He wore silky shirts and had his nails always manicured. He hated getting dirty. After he moved into a nursing facility I helped clean out his garage and found panty hose and night gowns. He was one of seven boys in the family and my dad always said his brother never could help out with the hard work cause he was scared he'd get dirty. He was a engineer in WWII while his brothers fought in combat. All though he was my Uncle my dad and mom named me after him, I've always wondered why my middle name sounded so girlish.
CD might just be in the family genes, but I tend to think it's more about the physical outside influences on our lives.

[Joyce Swindell]

I am the oldest of the three brothers. I have an older sister and a younger sister. Both of the brothers I am pretty certain do not crossdress...however...both of my sisters is are pretty butch. So who knows? I believe if I came out to any of them their spouse would have more issue with it than my siblings.

For what it's worth

[Pat]

I wrote a too-long post summarizing a book that says yes, transgenderism is inherited. The thread is here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?253723-Our-favorite-quot-Why-quot-questions -- if you consider yourself transgender then it might be of interest. If you don't, then it's not relevant to you.

[barbara gordon]

I do think that there is some possible hereditary links to being a crossdresser and also other kinds of trans gender .
In the same way that traits like being good at math , or being drawn to being talented with music , sports and art .
Many kinds of common Traits are shared in families- it makes sense to me that crossdressing can be one of these shared qualities . The difference is that we dont usually talk about this one thing openly because its still so taboo.

[DIANEF]

I remember when I was about 12-13 and just at the 'underwear' stage when I was looking for something in my brothers bedroom. I saw something sticking out from under his pillow on the bed, and found a pair of tights there. I showed my sister and she just had a big grin on her face. He's 4 years older than me btw and very 'alpha male'.

[FeWill]

If my brother suggested a crossdresser theme I would guess that he suspects that I cross dress rather than suggesting that he does.

I completely agree with this? Is there anyone else you can question about your brothers "odd" suggestion?

[alesha]

My brother is gay and he does crossdress but more for comedic effect and more drag queen.

My grandma’s brother may be trans. There were always hushed gossip about him being effeminate and sitting down to pee. But he grew up a different era in a different culture and he might just be gay but not being able to fully explore his sexuality, things just manifested in expressing himself in feminine mannerisms.

[ellbee]

We'd like to do a theme party, and after trading some ideas my brother, to my big surprise, mentioned the 'crossdressing theme' (he doesn't know a thing about my dressing....I am absolutely closeted about it to my family, and will remain so for now).

As others have already mentioned...

Just how sure of you are you regarding being "absolutely closeted" to your family? Because I could see this as a way of him already suspecting it, and trying to get you to admit it, at least to some degree.



Anyway, I don't have much time right now, but yeah, I have a brother who I was aware that, say from around age 12 thru maybe 16 (?), he went through at least a bit of an intermittent "phase" of putting on pantyhose sometimes (and then doing his self-pleasuring thing).

Around this time, he also wore lipstick & peelable nail polish (as a "joke") once or twice, and other subsequent times openly wore eyeliner (with his longer hair). Though arguably, this was the '80s, after all. And he was a musician... Remember all those "hair/glam bands," anyone??


Did it go beyond that? And has he done anything like that since? I have no idea. We're not particularly close, both relationship-wise & geographically. If I had to guess, I'd say no, he doesn't do that kind of stuff anymore. From what I understand, a decent chunk of guys do "mess around" a little with CD'ing, particularly when they're younger (under 18). But for them, it really is just a temporary passing phase, and is oftentimes just out of curiosity, a boredom-killer, sexual release, and/or for sh|ts-and-giggles.

For me, I started way younger than him. Got waaay more involved & ran much deeper for me. *And* is still going on til this day! :battingeyelashes:

[Stiletto Gurl]

I am the only CD in my family. The rest are very anti everything. ��

[nvlady]

I believe there is a sex gene that goes wacky.
Maybe we crossdress, maybe we are gay, maybe we are gay and also crossdress, Maybe we want sex 24 hours a day, maybe we don't care about sex at all, maybe we are child or adult molesters.
I think it's inherited, and manifests itself in different ways.

[Majella St Gerard]

I have a lesbian cousin that only wears masculine clothes, does that count as CD'ing?

[docrobbysherry]

No, not in MY family.

[Linda P.]

In 1998 the crossdresser magazine "ladylike" published a cover article about father/son crossdressers Jean Rich and Kristin Rivers. The article is available at the trans history site Digital Transgender Archive:
https://archive.org/stream/ladylike33unse#page/4/mode/2up
https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net/downloads/1544bp138?file=thumbnail

[JeanetteX]

Thanks so much Linda, thats a brilliant and very interesting article

[Sarah Louise]

Hi Jeanette, It was my older brother that first suggested we put on our mum's tights when I was four. I can think of a couple of times during his teens when he wore ladies underwear. Whether he dabbled more as a teenager? Probably. Whether he does now? Who knows? I'm not planning to bring the subject up and I'm certainly not coming out to him.

[Brianna in Hose]

I think it does run in the family. My brother and I played dress up several times when we were around 12 and 15. I embraced it but the older my brother got the more he denied that he enjoyed it. Before he moved out of mom and dads 4 years ago, I found pantyhose bra and stuffing for the bra in our old room. When I was 14, I was caught dressing by dad and he said don't let your mother catch you. He wasn't mad I didn't understand it. I was always sneaking around my parents room for clothes when the weren't home when I found my dads stash with pictures of him dressed. To this day I know my dad still dresses in lingerie when ever he gets a chance.

[alwayshave]

With respect to my brother and father, I just can't see it.

[DMichele]

I believe it is hereditary. About 17 years ago an uncle told that my great grandfather was 'promiscuous' but did not elaborate. The males on my dad's side of the family had a long history of high alcohol use, which I believe is attributed to them trying to suppress (drink away) the urges.

I would rather drink occasionally and enjoy being authentic as trans.

[leannejacobs]

I believe it does run in the family. I know my older brother has dabbled in crossdressing, but never embraced it like I have.

Also I hid my CDing from my son and when he was probably 12 or 13 my wife found one of her old bras under his bed. She just kinda groned "Like father like son" and put it back under his bed.

Strange one that lol my wife also found some panties in my sons room, this was before he started dating so no excuses, we never talked about it with him, now he's older and still at home I'm worried he might walk in on me while I'm dressed, I'd like to tell him to save the hassle but I have no idea how it'd go down.

[dawn459]

Jeanette: I used to hide my mom's
Panties under my mattress or pillow in the bedroom that I shared
With my brother who is seven years younger than I.Ihad a good friend who was a year younger than me he had 2younger sisters
And he would steal a pair of their panties and sleep in them & would
Bring them.with him when he came
To visit as I had mom's panties hid
From my brother I knew I was hooked @9years of age &as for as
My brother crossdressing I would
Say no and he does not know that
I do I am out to the wife only & 1 former GG coworker wihich helped
Me pick out a dress.My stepdaughters don't know but the
Youngest stepdaughter would be more accepting of my dressing than her older sister would.
As far as genetic goes I know that
My dad never did as far asI know
He caught me in a pair of moms panties one night at age 12 relieving some pressure & gave me
The 3rd degree but never said anything else about it.

[Martina]

Now this post could be quite long.
When I was in my teens/early twenties my dad always used to take the garage key with him to work, I was wanting to find some tools to use and so managed to open a side window and squeeze through. I started looking through the old chest of draws he had in there and came across a bag of women's clothes and found many items of interest shall I say that he had stashed away, I do remember taking a few away to try on myself but never asked him about the bag of clothes, that were in the draw as that would have made it that I had been in his garage.
Years later my oldest brother told me that my dad wore woman's tights to work in winter to keep his legs warm from working outside in the cold. There may have been more to this I don't know.
I have seen a picture of my mom and dad on holiday where they were both dressed as the opposite gender for a fancy dress theme.

My older brother moved to WA back in the late 60's
We used to email each other when the internet took off in the 2000's and he told me quite a few thing from when he was looking after his 3 younger brothers when mom and dad went out for the night.
Below is email doc. he sent me about his life;

THE OTHER ME



This is the story about another side of me that few people know about or have had a glimpse of. It all began when I was a young boy; I was the eldest of four male children and as such was often left in charge of my three brothers on the odd occasions when my parents went out. At first I resented this but later began to look forward to the time alone because I could do things and go places without getting into trouble. One of the first things I did was to explore my parent’s bedroom, we never allowed in there when they were about. Then I explored my Mothers’ chest of drawers and saw this beautiful finery inside them, nervously I took articles out to examine them, then replaced them carefully in their proper places. Later I became bolder and actually put on her one-piece bathers, looked in the mirror at myself and fell in love. I had come to fall in love with female clothing and the thrill of its look and feel. I also experienced a sense of closeness with my Mother I had never experienced before. Perhaps at this point I should explain that my Mother was a very cool, distant figure in my life and I do not ever remember feeling her holding me close or loving me. I missed that very much but now I had a way of being close to her through the clothing she wore and I felt a deep sense of Peace and Comfort. This behaviour continued for months and I got a great feeling out of it, in a way I knew it would be frowned on but who was I harming? Sadly all-to-soon the nightly visits ceased and I missed them badly.

In the years that followed I often tried to analyse my feeling and behaviour. Was I a pervert? Well there was no sex involved and no one got hurt. Was I Mentally Sick? I could function rationally, hold down a demanding job and have a meaningful relationship with girls and other blokes. Was it a Sexual Fetish? I did not have any fetishes what-so-ever or any sexual hang ups. I started researching my behaviour and found I fitted under the label of Transvestite or Cross-dresser. What caused it? No known cause! What cured it? No known cure. In fact it did not appear in any Psychiatric Book as a Symptom or a Condition. Why me? Who knows, after 60yrs I am still trying to figure that one out? Are there many people like me? Yes, there are thousands of men who do it and hundreds of women. So I am not alone! Welcome to the Human race.

At this point I would like to state that I have consulted both Psychiatrists and Psychologists on various occasions and other than tell me that what I do is considered “normal” behaviour amongst a percentage of the human race there are more pressing things that I should worrying about, than what I like wearing. As I suffer from Chronic Depression that is what they want to treat me for, the dressing makes no impact on my mental status. I should like to point out however that I went through all the Guilt, Anxiety and other emotions that a lot of people who cross-dress suffered but I am long past that and at peace with myself. It’s not been easy but then nothing worth something, ever is.

Today I am in contact with Cross-dressers in three countries, swap histories, photos, news and we support not only ourselves but more importantly our partners, who may not accept or understand us. We have come a long way thanks to the Net and we have found that the public image of Perverts who molest young boys and girls is certainly not what we are about! Most partners when they attend meetings or go on the Net find we listen to what they say and we will lead them to the relevant information when it is asked for. We idolise women more than most men and we try hard to understand and support them. In some cases (If we are lucky) we may even be taken for women when out in public. We do not want to become women but we want to copy the role model we admire so much, is that really wrong? You be the judge!

When he had told me about the other side of himself/herself as "Jean" and asked if I was ok with what he had told me.
I said yes as I also crossdress and asked him how I should go about telling my wife as it was starting to eat me up inside and I wanted more than what I was doing in secret, so after some time I told my wife that I needed to talk to her about something.
When we did have the talk she did say is that all as she had known for some time.
We both cried for a while and I felt like a great weight had been take of my shoulders.

Martina

[JeanetteX]

Thank you very much Martina. Yes a long post indeed, but what a beautiful story! Thank you again!

[StephanieM]

As for running in the family, I grew up with a father who is a CD, one of the reasons I ran from who I am was because I didn't want to be like him, then as I got older I realized that being like him wasn't a bad thing, anyway my sister, the family historian has discovered that we have several other relatives who are CD, one is even semi pro. So my conclusion is that it may be hereditary, just based on my own family.

[Dana44]

I am the only one in my family and I am a DES son. I think that had a lot to do with it.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hey Jeannette, hope all your troubles are ones like this. I don’t know if it’s my brother or my dad that outed themselves when I was still living at home. Mom and Dad knew about my dressing and my mom kept an eye on her things to “catch me breaking my word” that I would leave her stuff alone.
One day I get back from swim practice and she’s reading me the riot act about being in her clothes. I told her I had not, besides I was now too big to fit in her clothes. Well since it wasn’t me, that left only my dad and my brother. Now Dad would have been too big, so that left only my brother. This was 45 years ago and I’ve never gotten any other hint that he dresses. Oh well, I’m not that curious and he’s never asked me if I did.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm either a CD or bigender, depending on what day you ask me. One of my first cousins is a butch lesbian, or maybe a FtM, one of my uncles was gay and one of my first cousins once removed is a lipstick lesbian. This is all on my father's mother's side of the family. It's a small family and it seems that there are way too many "non-binary" for there not to be a genetic component to it.