Does your girl friend/wife like or tolerate your dressing?

[LexiNexi]

I find most girls I have met either:

Don't like it. They say its weird amd really want their man to be manly. I can totally see this. I always tend to date girls that will wear skirts and I don't like it when they (or me for that matter :heehee: ) wear pants. I always like my women to be really girly. I think thats why I like the "*******" pictures on the internet: They tend to be ultra feminine more so then regular girls.

They tolerate it. They don't think its bad but they don't really want to date girls or are attracted to feminine things.

A few (the ones we all wish or are lucky enough to date) gets some kick out of it kind of its like a fetish. I dated this one girl that liked me dressing up but only if she could do it. For some reason she said she didn't like it when she would come home and I was dressed up. This is what makes dating so hard for me. I don't like meeting people online: I can tell in 30 seconds 95% of what I need to know about you. How do you ask a girl out only to have her realize shes also dating someone else: We even give names to ourselves when we dress up; its hard to introduce two people at once and have them like two people. Its also hard to get them to realize its two sides of who you are and not just some perversion as most people (ignorantly) see it.

It would probably be best to meet a girl while you were dressed up. That way you know instantly if she likes it.

Realize that it can also be hard for the girl to tell her family or friends that shes dating a "crossdresser" or "insert label here". She might be afraid that people might think she is a lesbian or bisexual. Or even think she is some sort of pervert.

What I have noticed from watching the few documentaries I have seen like "My husband betty" is that most of the wives if I had to guess their orientation seem like lesbians. The better you are at dressing up the less she is seeing a man. I know I have no attraction toward women that never wear make up short hair and baggy clothes. Even if they are good looking. If you look and act 100% feminine you are asking her to be attracted to a woman. Would you still be attracted physically to your girlfriend if she altered her appearance to sound smell walk talk and dress like a lumber jack? Thats what you are asking her to do when you want her to be around your femself.

I once went out with this girl when I first met her she was so pretty and all dressed up. She was pretty just naturally. But I soon realized she hated wearing skirts, make up, or doing up her hair. I just couldn't get attracted to it. I had paid to get her hair done up and first thing she did was straighten it out and tie it up in a pony tail.

I had a point to all this but it escapes me now... Maybe try to realize that your dressing can be just as hard for her as it is you and that unlike you she doesn't have a choice in the matter. I could see that if a girl doesn't like my fem side the relationship would eventually fall apart.

[Dana44]

Lexi, My GF tolerates me dressing and even going out as two gals. But she is straight as an arrow. I wish she had some bi tendency. But like I said she is straight as an arrow.

[Joni T]

My wife is very accepting of it and doesn't have any problems with any aspect of it. She knows the man she married is and will always be here for her. It helps that I don't obsess about my dressing. Dressing does not dictate my life.
Jon

[Elizabeth G]

My wife tolerates it.

[kimdl93]

Which one and when? I suppose both did tolerate, when it was limited to underdressing and sexual play. Neither much cared for more overt expression. Tolerated it til it became a wedge in the relationship.

[Jaylyn]

Lexi at first my wife was very on board with my dressing to the point of helping me and showing me how to apply makeup better and always asking if Jaylyn needs any makeup when she bought it for herself. Jaylyn even got Christmas Presents. Then she just stopped liking my dressing and we've ended up with a DADT type marriage.

[NicoleScott]

Mostly indifferent. She's OK with it, but doesn't participate. She understands it's about me and my clothing, makeup, shoes, wigs, etc. that I enjoy in occasional dressup sessions. She's never spoken an unsupportive word about my CDing, which I take as somewhere between tolerance and acceptance, maybe silent support. She does like me to show her the finished transformation.

[Christie ann]

Not even a little tiny bit...

[nikkim83]

It cycles,

She hated it in the start of our marriage. 11 years ago.

6 years ago I was goimg to leave her so she got accustomed to it.

This year she is back to hating it again, but for different reasons now. We may end up in court soon.

[JeanTG]

Hates it. I haven't dressed since mid-summer.

[Di]

We met here at the forum and that's rare only know of a handful that has happened over all these yrs - so yes supportive wife here - that's my story

But going by what I've learned here


From what I'm told after all these yrs from other Ggs here and local - they met and fell in love and accepted that was a part of them- they were introduced to the girl side after there was a relationship and they had feelings already.

Whatever you decide I wish you luck finding love.

[debbeelee1]

I'm lucky, my SO fully supports my CDing. Actually, she used to buy me too much stuff. She makes jewelry for me and gets a big kick out of getting me two sets of Christmas presents, one for Debbee and one for Dave.

[Robertacd]

My wife tolerates it. Sometimes she is encouraging, sometimes she is ambivalent about it. But she is never mean, or discouraging about it.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you made a valid point illustrating how girls like to be feminine and you prefer them that way.

You show tha alternate side where you dislike girls wearing pants also.

You already have the answers and you will have to learn how to play the game.

If that is what it is.

[Diane Taylor]

When I was married my ex wife was somewhere between "like" and "tolerate". My current girlfriend is kind of in the same area.

[Rayleen]

She tolerating and accepting, and she said that I look cute....good communication helps.

[NancySue]

When I read about all the different relationships that exist, I thank my lucky stars that my wife is very accepting and helpful. I told her shorty after we met. I expected her to head for the nearest exit door, but she didn’t. It’s taken some time, patience, long talks, and honesty on both our parts, but it’s worked out. I always ask her opinion about my appearance. Because of our small town and the consequences of getting caught, she’s not totally willing to go out with me dressed, but we’re considering going out of town. I wear underneath, to some degree, every day.

[Stiletto Gurl]

My girlfriend is very supportive. She even purchases nylons when on sale for the both of us.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I have been so heavily "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" that it just make me wish she would rant and rave about once a decade. She has knowledge but there is absolutely no intentions of my part to display my cross dressing. If I keel over and die one day I'm just going to have a little smirk on my face when she find my wardrobe which is hidden in plain sight. I hope she likes some of my 159 dresses since we do wear the same size. Over the years she has found a garment or two (bra or panty) which escaped my efforts to put away after a Stephanie day/week. And, there were those unbursted water balloons/female enhancements found in the kitchen sink! :)

When the issue first arose, "The Talk" she just about lost it. Crossdressing was definitely something she was not looking for in her ideal husband. She was adamant she was no a lesbians and did not want to live with a woman. She has some issues which predate my relationship with her which helped form her opinion. I choose not to upset her. It is interesting that she once encountered her father with his girlfriend going en femme to a Halloween Party at their Eagle's Club. She cannot remember it at all. Me. I was envious because he was having a lot of fun. It was totally a goof at the urging of his friend. I can only say, if your wife is totally opposed to cross dressing, but, your marriage is on solid ground, you should be able to weather the storm. Just don't rock the boat so the gunwales overflow.

[Shawn Michelle]

Not quite sure where my wife is. She knows about my dressing, and early on in the marriage she actually bought me a wig (it was an 'Annie on steroids' red curly thing, but I was just thrilled that she got it. She didn't mind that I traded it in on something a bit more mainstream). About two years ago, I told her I wanted to explore my Michelle side. Since then, we don't talk about it much. I'm not sure she's aware that Michelle is more than a 'fetish' thing, but something I feel deep inside. I'm not sure how she would feel if she knew I wanted to get a makeover and go out in public. I'd say we're at DADT, but I know I need to sit down and have a more detailed talk about where I am and how she feels about it.

[Confucius]

She tolerates it as long as she can set all the boundaries. That means only a few items are acceptable.

[HollyGreene]

My wife tolerates my 24/7 pantie wearing, but doesn't want to know about anything else.

[Jennifer2918]

It started off with me just wanting to wear nylons or tights (leggings). The grew into panties, which were for me to wear when she was not around; and never to bed. After a bit, I was able to wear panties to bed, but she would refuse to touch (and I do mean touch, no cuddling, just like 'don't touch me'). I went shopping alone and got my first skirt and dress from a distant goodwill store and my wardrobe has grown from there. I have a canvas style 2 drawer stacked storage unit, which she knows holds my nylons, leggings, and other items. She has allowed me to move my 6 dresses from this storage unit to actually hanging in my closet, but at the very end, behind rarely worn items. I do have a pair of sandals, which she does not know about, but those are kept in my car, hidden.
I would say it is a basic DADT relationship, but she is aware of some items.

When I do go out, she never asks where I went, what I did, or anything. When I have brought up the subject, she says she doesn't want to discuss it and changes the conversation.

[Vintage4sarah]

Nearly twenty years ago when she first found out about my CD desires she eventually tolerated it after some joint counseling. Over the following years, she has now come to accept that this is the long suppressed me and we can talk about it while she also gives me time to be Sarah. She still has not seen Sarah and I can live with that issue. We have been married for 46 years and have a warm family life. We are best friends that still share good times, extensive travel and similar interest.

[Jess S.]

I am one of the lucky ones wife is supportive.

[Kendalli]

I only came out to my wife recently. Right now she is struggling with it, but she is trying to be tolerant and excepting of me while we figure things out. I am taking things slow for her so that hopefully she becomes more tolerant and accepting of everything and maybe even embrace it. I doubt she will ever truly like it like it, but I think she is trying to get over her reservations and be as supportive as she can to help me on this new path.

[AubriMikayla]

Right now I am not sure .. it is not DADT but it is not completely out in the open either .. as it was said below I just came out recently as well, so we are still working things out. We are still married so to me that is a bonus <3 Aubri <3

[alwayshave]

My fiancee understands my need to dress, and is somewhat encouraging because of its positive psychological effect on me. All things being equal she'd prefer I didn't, but she knows I am not going to stop.

[NitaCD]

I can't say that my wife really "likes" my dressing but she defiantly tolerates it. She has been very understanding and supportive from day one, over twenty years ago, when I first told her. She has seen, and even been out with, Nita dressed a few times with out any negative issues. With that said I do sometimes, but not always, get a feel of uneasiness on her part when the subject comes up. Any boundaies with my dressing are boundaries that I have put on myself out of respect for her. After being together for over 30 years we have developed a feel for what works, and what doesn't, in our relationship. And I hope this never changes.

[Charlotte7]

Yesterday evening , Friday evening, she came home from work, the end of of a week at work for her. She gave me a bag. Inside the bag was a new dress. I put the dress on. I had to take off the skirt and top I had on. It's a lovely dress. It's a sparkly dress. I'm very lucky.

[Shely]

We have a DADT system here. She has known about it for a long time, many years. We never talk about it though. I have tried to open the subject several times but it doesn't get anywhere. She never says anything about it. I hear about some of these lucky gals who have accepting SO's and an envious. I wouldn't say she hates it, but she would be glad if it went away, I'll bet.

[jack-ie]

I was one of the extremely fortunate ones. Many years ago and harboring crossdressing desires, I confessed to my soon to be wife (now ex) a desire to wear panties. After blurting it out, I was scared to death but to my surprise, She was instantly on board. I might add that she too is straight as an arrow. She must have sensed that my desires involved more than panties and very soon we were shopping and "jackie" began to emerge. She not only guided my fashion sense but taught me to do my own makeup and encouraged me in every way. If for some reason, I missed a few days of not at least partially dressing, she would wonder if something was wrong, was something bothering me. It was by far the most honest relationship, I ever enjoyed. We split after many years together but for reasons unrelated to my dressing. We remain friends and she remains supportive occasionally sending jackie a surprise package.

[Kas]

My fiancé is accepting, supportive, encouraging and also likes to "get involved" if you know what I mean. Like jack-ie's previous situation, she actually starts to wonder if something is wrong with me if I DONT dress. I couldn't ask for anything more!

[Nastasha]

My wife knows. I told her not too long after we got engaged, and she has been OK with it since even buying me clothes or having me go to a store with her just to have her say OK, what do you like / want to get? Surprise .

[cdsamswife]

I am I think a relatively supportive wife. I dont mind it and we go shopping for clothes together and I help him and we have date nights dressed... but I found out after we got engaged... and it took me a little while to get used to it at first..

[CarlaWestin]

My my, Lexi. I kept waiting for your post to go sideways and into the realm of "OK, you almost got me." but, it was actually insightful. I too love the girly girls. But, I'm on the verge of 100 years old so, I've lowered my standards somewhat. But, then out of the blue, I'm blindsided by a lovely real woman that loves to wear leather and rubber. And would love for me to be her girl. Still my beating heart. Thankfully (frustratingly) there's quite the formidable moat (ocean) around her castle.

[JustJoni]

I also am one of the very fortunate ones as my wife is an active and enthusiastic supporter of my dressing (she's even a regularly posting member of this forum). So much so that she encouraged me to go out, and truly bends over backwards to make it possible for me to dress and sometimes go out. I told her while we were engaged, with plenty of time for her to back out of our relationship before we were married, but she never even showed me a hint that she is anything less than my full partner.

She shops for me independently, or with me as the occasion arises. She gives me advice, or makes sure I am not dressed too much like a tart in public, lol. My birthday is in December, and she does a thing where she gives me a small gift every day of December until my birthday, and a good portion of those are girl related. Sorry, I'm gushing...

I am truly blessed. :love:

[Fiona123]

My spouse is not at all supportive. Her last word on the subject were " I can't imagine a circumstance where it (dressing at home) would be acceptable." This is a big part of my depression.

[Karen RHT]

My wife has gone from being totally unaccepting, to what I choose to call somewhat accepting/supportive. Recently she became comfortable with me wearing full makeup. So much so in fact, that she has passed along lipsticks, eyeshadow, and mascara that she never used. She's also handed down several pieces of jewelry, and has either purchased skirts and the like for me, or told me to buy them. She doesn't want me to wear a wig in her presence, won't look at pics of me dressed, and going out into the wild with or without her is a definite no-no for her. The other term I apply to her is "consistently inconsistent" in that she has definitely taken one step forward and two steps back several times along the way.


Karen

[Steph_CD_62]

My wife tolerates it, but she does fully support me. She never has any negative comments and I can dress in front of her with no problem. She has even been out in public with me when I was dressed in female clothing that was more uni-sex and not too noticeable they were girl clothes. I do not go out in public presenting as a woman and as long as I don't want to do that she has no problem with my dressing.

[Tanya silk stocking]

am also totally lucky one where my girlfriend supports me and encourage me to do it more