How rude?

[Jean 103]

Yesterday I had a baby shower to go to. I’ve been so busy I haven’t had a chance to pick up a gift.

No matter how much time I have to get ready it’s never enough.

I know the dress I’m going to wear, I pick out shoes and a wrap to match. I put on a set of nails I painted the night before, along with fake eyelashes. I wanted to look my best, there are going to be a lot of people that I'll be meeting for the first time.

Everyone was very nice and I had a good time.

So I got ready and off to Kohl’s where I found a cute outfit and a coat to match. As per my friends request size 2 and up, this is the Moms second. They are on sale 50% off, when I get to the sales counter the SA asks if I have any coupons, I say no. She says she can give me another 20% off. Yea. Across the street to the party store for a gift bag.

I’m getting into my car, this girl who is with a couple of guys approaches me. She asks for a dollar and fifteen cents. I think this is odd. I hand her a dollar and a quarter. She thanks me and walks away, I start my car, put it in reverse, She approaches again. I crack the window, she asks” Do you have boy baby parts or girl baby parts?” I think I don’t have time for this and back up. AS I’m driving away she asks “ aren’t you going to tell me?”.

Really how rude!

[Tracii G]

Sounds like they were scrounging up cigarette money.
I would have asked how big her penis was.

[StephanieM]

That's beyond rude. I like Traci's idea.

[Traci H]

Hence the reason I never give money to people on the street (or parking lot). Most have no business being there or asking you for such. Move along please. Too bad, because they have spoiled it for the truly needy.

[jennifer0918]

I would have said it takes one to know one darling, figure it out boo!!!!!

[Dana44]

That was bit rude Jean. You help people and they want more. LOL I would have said no to the baby pants.

[suzanne]

Rude and inexplicable on so many levels. How does anyone get the notion that this is any of their business? She was put up to that by the louts she was with. And then she finishes with surprise that you won't answer? She sounds like she's about 13 years old, too young to have mastered social skills.

The good news is that there's not much worse behavior out there.

[Jean 103]

Tracii, you are probably right.

I hold that I don't pass. My best friend disagrees with this statement, she thinks I do sometimes . I have my moments.

I dress obviously because I like too, but I'm also looking for approval from my friends, most of which are GGs. So I don't dress to blend, like I might be the only one in a dress.

[Nikki A.]

It was rude, but so be it. I think I'd say "What do you think?" and then drive away. I also agree with you, I always try to dress just a little bit nicer and women do notice the effort and will complement your efforts.

[Diane Smith]

My standard response to that question is, "I'm not sure. What do you think?"

I have gotten some interesting answers. Usually, though, it's a 6-10 year old doing the asking. Most adults have a little more self restraint.

- Diane

[Maria 60]

You know what they say "there's always one in the crowd". The part I can't understand is you were even nice enough to give her money, I could understand that sometimes one thinks one second earlier you would have missed them and wouldn't have been upset. It's almost like people don't want people who are different to be happy.
Well sounds like for her to ask you for a dollar, it tells us a lot from where shes coming from.

[Jean 103]

I have been asked this question before just not this way. I didn't really bother me. It was really such a small part of yesterday.

Actually what happened at the end of the night, or didn't happen depends on how you look at things. Was of more interest to me.

One of my girlfriend's and I went to the bar after the shower. I call my best friend to join us. Her boyfriend and her showed up and we are playing pool. An interracial couple comes in and sits at the table next to us. Really not a big deal, but i can tell he is nervous. I smiled so they would feel accepted , we played a couple games before I left. How can I expect to be accepted for me if I don't except others.

[Teresa]

Jean,
I guess at some point this is inevitable when we are out, I'm lucky it hasn't happened yet but when I'm out more in the daytime I'm sure I will meet someone who wants to make a point of how rude they can be . Like Tracii I'm not usually stuck for a quick response but obviously it will depend on the surrounding circumstances , learn the lesson when to walk away, shame it cost you for the privilege .

[CONSUELO]

I'm with Traci H.. I don't like panhandlers. I have found some of them to be very aggressive and so I avoid them and as I don't usually carry change with me I can honestly say that I have nothing to give.

If I had been quick enough I might have replied "Just baby parts" and smiled.

- - - Updated - - -

By the way, that welcoming smile was very good of you. Like you I always believe that if we want others to accept us as we are we should always discreetly and properly signal our acceptance of everyone else.

[Jean 103]

I don't normally give money to panhandlers. I go to this shopping center quite offen. My favorite thrift Store is there, it benefits the woman's shelter. So it is very possible they could have seen me before.

I've run into aggressive panhandling while dressed before. I had a guy banging on my drivers window. I remember hopping it wouldn't break. This was in Hollywood in the middle of the day. I had just gotten in my car , I had stopped at a sandwich shop.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Shouldn't give strangers money like that, always a bad idea. Probably should have rolled up the windows and locked the doors instead.

[docrobbysherry]

Jean, u r a CD and think someone asking u if u r male or female is rude? But, the same person pan handling u is just fine?

Personally, I think anyone gutsy enuff to ask strangers for money would think nothing of asking what gender I am! And, if anyone did? I would take it as a compliment!:battingeyelashes:

I'm pretty sure EVERYONE knows I'm a MIAD when I'm out in public-----:sad:

[BettyMorgan]

Under no circumstances is it ok for anyone to ask what's in your pants. That person was being a little wretch and deserved to be called out.
It has nothing to do with their economic status and everything to do with their ignorant behaviour.

[Linda P.]

"How can I expect to be accepted for me if I don't except others."
That's it, treat others the way you would want to be treated.

[Aunty_Hazel]

"I have private parts, honey, and they're staying that way."

[Krisi]

1. Like some others, I don't give money to panhandlers. The latest around here is people hanging around gas stations asking for gas to get somewhere.

2. While a smart assed comeback to a rude question like this may seem like a good idea, it isn't. Nothing good can come from continuing or escalating the situation. Get in the car, lock the doors and get out of there as quickly as possible.

[Joni T]

I tell them to go panhandle someone else and I'm not shy about it.
Jon

[Sarah Doepner]

You could have offered to sell the information for $1.25.

I normally don't give to panhandlers. It not only diverts them away from services that could help, it likely is not going to be used for anything they admit it will. It's not coffee or a meal they're looking for but mood enhancement to pass the long slow hours of a day with not much to do.

[jennifer0918]

I used to give panhandlers a buck some change whatever reasonable amount I had on my person,but one day last week I gave a guy a dollar and seconds later he pulls out an iPhone X. So a combination of this story and my own experience I will no longer be generous.

[Shelly Preston]

” Do you have boy baby parts or girl baby parts?”


Just say

Yes I do then walk away, it leaves them wondering why they asked.

[Meghan4now]

"My, but you sure seem to be interested! What are you hoping for?"

[CynthiaD]

As far as I'm concerned, asking strangers for money is about as rude as it gets. So the rest is hardly surprising.

[Leslie Langford]

Rather than let that rudeness bother you, Jean (or is it just plain cluelessness or lack of social skills...a real epidemic among the younger set these days), you could also have taken the high road here and used this as a teachable moment.

You could have pointed out that yes, you are indeed a transgender individual, but that contrary to popular mythology, you are not only a regular person in your own right just like everyone else, you are probably also a better one than 90% of the folks that these two street people are likely to encounter in the course of a day.

After all, who here generously acceded to their request for some spare change, rather than sending them packing as so many others would have?

[Diane Taylor]

Why give them money in the first place?

[Kayliedaskope]

"I have both - I keep them in an ice chest in the trunk, along with the chainsaw and hatchet."

Then just smile at them ... not a big beautiful girly smile, but a "yes, I AM totally bat-guano crazy and you are within reach" smile. (Think Pennywise -"We all float down here!")

People tend not to ask me any other stupid questions after I respond like that .....

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've never been asked, but if I was asked and the person looked old enough to know better, I'd say:

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

[MindiB]

Rude yes but being the smart ass that I can be, bring it on

[Majella St Gerard]

After telling her I had no cash, I wouldn't have engaged her further, I would have ignored her and drove away.