Life without my girl cave: an update.

[MissTee]

It’s been almost a full year since I gave up my girl cave. To recap: My job had me on a lengthy assignment several states away from home, and I bought a condo in the assignment location and had it for a little over four years. I decorated very femme, complete with the signature pink master bed and bath, as well as a kitchen every girl dreams of. My supportive wife and I enjoyed being there —dressing, sharing, relaxing. I dressed while there almost 100% of the time and thoroughly enjoyed having the place to just let the girl in me be free.

Alas, the assignment ended. I took an early retirement and gave up the girl cave. I moved my femme ware into storage back home and resumed life without a girl retreat. Though I have a supportive wife, I’m not out to anyone else and don’t intend to be. The homestead is a high people traffic place with in-laws, kids and grandkids who know nothing of Misty. Acceptance or understanding is out of the question in this uber-conservative environment, and coming out would result in hostilities (seen and unsee) to my family.

Up until last month I really haven't missed dressing and the liberties I once had. Dressing, it seems, had become rather mundane. Last week I paid a visit to my offsite storage facility, and spent some time looking through the hanging racks, boxes and bins trying to decide what to do with the stuff. I found I’m not ready to let it go, and I felt a distant yearning to re-create what I once had — even if in some small way. It re-enforces what I’ve learned several times over in my life and that is this thing we carry within us ebbs and flows, but never goes away. I’m at peace with that, and now I’m finally ready to sit up and think about the next chapter in my girl journey and what that might look like.

All feedback welcome.

[Charlotte7]

In a way I had a similar experience. A couple of years ago we did a big long distance move. The dressing opportunities at the new place are still plentiful but different from before. When we moved, everything was packed up and carted from A to B. There are some things that I have which were inportant to me where we were, but in the new place haven't been worn and are atill packed away. I look at them every now and then, but I can't get rid of them. I'll have to keep them, and who knows, one day I might put some of them on again. I suppose the old things kind of belong with the old place and that now is in the past. As I say, similar but different.

[CarlaWestin]

Since you do have a supportive wife, a lot of your things can be co-mingled. Well, maybe everything except those wonderful six inch heels and pink wigs. I remember the many years that Carla stayed in accessible storage wherever I lived. Have you considered a large gun safe? Maybe offsite storage with an occasional suitcase visit.

[Laura912]

A tent in the woods? A shed outback disguised as an outhouse? A single wide near you? Or less tongue in cheek, a small apartment or cabin in the woods where you would be safe? Carla, it would take a really, really big gun safe to get into to change. Do they make gun safes with makeup mirrors? :devil:

[BrendaPDX]

Good morning Misty,
I would go for or stay with the offsite storage and suitcase it back and forth. You are very fortunate to have a supportive wife. Have fun and enjoy the pink fog when it comes around:o Take care, Brenda

PS. I love your name.

[Jaylyn]

If your dressing is like mi e it will return and then you will want to go back to a place to dress. You might try just hiding it in plan site like an earlier topic was about on here. My box of stuff sister hidden under my hunting clothes. In plain site. From your story though you might have to downsize your things some.

[Sarah Doepner]

Wow four years and then cold turkey, I can't imagine it. I had about 6 months of an increased freedom before things became more restrictive and I'm chaffing at the edges daily. While I can't imagine dressing becoming mundane, I don't doubt that it can. However it's good that you didn't just purge the lot of it recognizing the femme side of your world didn't go away but may be just hibernating.

It seems that you are thinking about it again, so looking for options that will protect you and your family are a good idea. It may be a short vacation to spend a couple nights in a hotel room or evenings at home with that suitcase full of Misty things that work for now. As with all the other challenges we face, creating enough room for patience helps us come to a reasoned decision. Good luck.

[MissTee]

Some additional clarity: I still wear panties most of the time. The rather benign kind of white cotton ones by day, and the nice satin hipsters as an underdressing after a shower. Likewise, always a nighty or similar night dress once the bedroom door closes. So, I do partial dress to some extent.

What I miss is the all out wig, forms, shaven legs and painted nails, full make-up, heels and an LBD kind of day anywhere in the home. Total femme freedom. Not the only occasionally if-you-loook-real-close-it-might-not-be-guy-wear kind of outfit. I’m really starting to miss my always on girl safe environment and the weekends of unencumbered dressing.

[Barbara Black]

I get the feeling that one of these days you're just going to bust! I hope not, but maybe you should take the powder away from the fire? A dress up day at home maybe?

[Allison Chaynes]

Laura, I bought two "gun safes" from a Salvation Army store that were actually large wall lockers from a firehouse that was torn down. With magnetic mirrors inside and out, they would be perfect for this.


A tent in the woods? A shed outback disguised as an outhouse? A single wide near you? Or less tongue in cheek, a small apartment or cabin in the woods where you would be safe? Carla, it would take a really, really big gun safe to get into to change. Do they make gun safes with makeup mirrors? :devil:

[BrendaPDX]

Good for you! I am happy you found a solution. Just watch out for "Homeland Security" They will want to know what you are doing with those:devil:

[Abbey11]

I hope you get the freedom to dress soon, sounds like your thinking about it

[cdcorinne]

I understand completely, last year I bought a new house, and it took me a year to finish it and move in. During that time, it was my girl cave. Most mudding and drywall work, as well as painting, was done en femme. However, now that I have moved in, all of my stuff has been returned to a few storage boxes. While I still have time to dress, it is not as easy as it used to be.

[Kayliedaskope]

Wouldn't it be heavenly to have a magical apartment for all of your femme desires? Just snap your fingers and poof! - there it is, decorated in feminine styles and furnishings. Of course, the closet space has to be at least as large as the master bedroom, with shelves and drawers and hanging spaces galore ... with a separate section just for shoes and handbags!

(True story: two GG's I know call themselves a "handbag wh*re" or a "shoe sl*t", respectively - the one has over sixty handbags/purses, while the other has something like 140 pairs of shoes. That's their own pet names for their obsessions, I'm just the messenger ... hope no one gets offended.)

[Stephanie47]

You're fortunate to have a supporting participating wife. For most of us retirement can be a big let down if you do not have the opportunity to dress. There are two issues within your post. One is intrusive guests. We have asked visitors to check with us before coming over. That includes son and daughter with families in tow. By and large we have not had a problem. Problem two is what do you do with all the femme stuff? I totally frown upon anyone checking out closets.

There is a house in our neighborhood where the owner built a storage room that is only accessible through the garage. He poured a concrete pad on the outside and built the storage room. There is a door in the garage to access the room. This prevents intrusions from the outside. There is no reason ever to disclose what is in the room. There is also nothing stopping you and your wife from decorating an extra bedroom is a girlie motif.

Where there is a will, there is a way!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Glad to have an update Misty, I remember very well your previous posts on the subject.

Alas I have no advice, but I feel confident that your own good judgement will bring some form of solution.

In the meantime, what about planting pretty flowers in your yard?

[Wasp]

Wow. First of all I'm sorry you lost your girl cave. I can't imagine what that's like. Maybe there's a getaway that you and your wife can plan once a month? Like you can book a hotel in a distant city for a weekend and pack all of your clothes and accessories and spend the time as yourself!

[OCCarly]

You need a new girl cave. Build a large shed out back, girl it up somewhat but not over the top and tell everyone it’s yours and your wife’s backyard spa retreat. Set it up to look like a tea room and function as a photo studio. All retirees have hobbies. Build in a dressing room. And some locking storage for shoes and wigs. Done.

[mattea]

I will spend a lot of time dreaming of what my girl cave will look like. We are exploring getting a beach apartment or apartment in another location. When the pink fog hits, we get a hotel room for the weekend or a few days somewhere. What has been cool is that my wife gets hit by the same fog too, and has called me more than once and said its time for a "girls weekend!" It can get expensive at times, but that is the price we are willing to pay. I do dress at home quite often but keep it out of the way of the other family.