Did you choose, could you choose?

[Jordan-NH]

I was having a conversation today with one of my few friends with whom I share my Jordan side. I was asking her opinion on a look I was going for and she told me that she felt that I have too many different looks. She said that it was hard for her to get a feel for who Jordan was and what her style is with all the different hair styles and breast sizes. I don't disagree with her point. Even though women can change hair styles it's typically a very slow change and a long term commitment. And obviously the body doesn't change quickly either. What it boiled down too was her asking "who is Jordan, what kind of girl is she?" And I didn't have an answer for that. I can't say I've even come close to figuring out my feminine side and exactly what kind of girl she is. So yeah, I use wigs and breast forms like accessories, I guess because I can.

But now I'm questioning if I should be picking a particular style and run with it. I'm wondering if picking a single Jordan will help me discover who she is. But then I wonder, what if I choose poorly? Will I then be forcing myself down an incorrect path? My male side just happened over the course of my life. Since Jordan's time is so horribly limited, she doesn't seem to have the luxury of just lackadaisically evolving.

So here's my question to all of you. Did you have to choose a style/person? Did you just know right out of the gate? Or are you like me, does the type of girl you are change depending on the day. And......... discuss.

[paulinescotlandcd]

I think my style has really not altered that much over the years. I am always drawn to a look that means if I was to get a call out the blue that I was needed at a wedding or party I am good to go and ready to phone for a taxi.

[Nastasha]

I choose what I am comfortable in, occasionally something that I think is cute. So, I guess you could say I choose it, but I know at the same time.

[RADER]

Interesting subject;
In Guy Mode, one seldom changes is "Look" unless we are going to a formal event.
For myself, I was in Jeans and a short sleeve polo top, and work boots. (Carpenter)
Now in Fem mode, I most of the time wearing a skirt and top, Just something comfortable.
On Occasion, I do like to wear a nice dress; But since I do not go out, I seldom do it.
I guess to answer your question; You have to find the one "LOOK" that you are most
comfortable with, and build on it, stay with that theme, Like most people, we seldom
leave our comfortable surrounding's and that includes looks.
Rader

[karrin]

I really don't know to be honest. I feel it depends on my mood,being a girl, I change my mind a lot;) one nite I might feel ultr conservative, another I might be saucy and flirtatious. whatever mood, be safe Karrin

[Tracii G]

Having different styles is not a bad thing but having that one comfy you look is OK to go to as well.
One GG friend of mine says she can pick me out of a crowd of people easily.
I asked her what she meant by that and she said "oh don't be silly its a good thing".
Still not sure what thing it is I will have to ask her again sometime because I wasn't going to get an answer that day.

[Jenny22]

Jordan, you are a 5 year member.You've looked at hundreds of photos, so you know that styles vary greatly due to many things including plain personal choice regardless of other factors (sissy dressing, for example). Dress as you please, if it pleases you at that time and place. But, ask your GG friend to help you to determine an appropriate style for a day or evening out, possibly with her. Its just a thought.

[Jean 103]

It took time to settle on a style or to find my own, however you look at it. What works for someone else may not work for me. I go with my strengths. I have a thin, tanned body, So I tend to wear tight fitting things to show it off.

Like you I'm looking for good feedback from my friends.

When I stopped wearing a wig, because of pressure from my friends. There were a couple of girls that made a comment on my new hair. What I couldn't believe was they thought the wig I was wearing was my real hair. They weren't close friends just girls that know me. Wearing a wig is a lot easier then dealing with my real hair.

Just try different looks, see what you like and works for you.

[Teresa]

Jordan,
I went with a female version of the male side of me, yes the wig does make a difference and women with longer hair can change their look by styling it in different ways .

I started with a light brown wig which I felt was my natural colour I've since gone more to blond because I feel it's more flattering especially with a male featured face and I also found you don't need as much makeup with blond hair, so I end up with what I feel is a more natural overall look. I keep my padding to a minimum relying on enough in the bra to give me a balanced shape so I guess I've adopted a style I'm happy with which doesn't change that much. Naturally the change comes out of different styles of clothes, just as women do , I feel with going out it's important to stick to a style you're comfortable with because it gives you more confidence and an identity .

[Jodie_Lynn]

To answer the original question, I suppose that I knew, subconsciously, the general appearance of Jodie, her hair colour, breast size were almost a given. My personality, as Jodie, is something I didn't choose either, it is automatic.
However, like most gurls, and women, my clothing choices can vary widely depending on the event, venue, or my mood. For example, today I met my ex for lunch & shopping, I wore a women's Henley over a pair of girl jeans, with my low heeled black boots. I was pleased that my ex was dressed in a similar fashion. Score one for me for blending in with the natives!

[Pat]

I think those of us who find ourselves later in life experience kind of a coiled-spring-being-released situation where we basically do the kid-in-a-candy-shop thing with styles. All those decades of experience we missed leaves us wanting to go in all directions at once. After a while ("while" can equal years if you don't dress often,) when you've gotten it worked out I think you'll find a style that you believe works for you and concentrate on that for a while. It doesn't mean you won't ever abandon that style, but maybe it means you'll try to perfect it before you move on to another. Do what feels right for you. Don't pick a style because someone else thinks you should, pick it because it's what you want to do.

In my case, I tried too many things for a long while and then gradually calmed down and decided that if I was going to present female, I'd like to look like the female I'd be now (at 64) if I had been female all along. So I mostly wear sporty, casual clothes with kind of a 1968-ish aesthetic. I still dress up on occasion, but I think most people know what to expect if they know I'm going to be walking through the door. And I like that because my look is a non-verbal communication of who I am. And I like who I am. ;)

[AllieSF]

No, you do not have to chose a style in my opinion. If you are a serious person moving down that path and more than "Just a CD", then it may help one over time to find what works for them and stick with that for a while. However, there are many GG's that change their styles of dress and presentation a lot. Since most GG's dont's use wigs very much, their hair styles tend to stay the same or similar over longer periods of time until their next hair appointment or until their shorter hairs grows out. Yes, they can still style their hair in a lot of different ways. I would say keep experimenting and having fun being you however your want. You may surprise yourself one day when you may realize that you have picked a particular style, which you use more than others. Most important, worry less, be happy and have fun.

[Joni T]

I used to always dress in office type attire. Lately it's more for comfort, i.e. t shirts and capris.
Jon

[Sami Brown]

My clothing collection is growing slowly. While I think I know what style I want to focus upon, I am still in an experimental mode.

One thing I did that helped me a lot is a book titled Flatter Your Figure, by Jan Larkey. Although the book is a little dated, it helped me to discover the general styling characteristics that flatter my body shape. This has given me style ideas that I hadn't considered, so this has given me other styles to try. This is the main reason why I consider myself still to be experimenting.

Sami

[Dana44]

I have my style and my GF has her style. So what I buy she helps my styles. It works for both of us.

[Kas]

When you currently dress, do you purposely go for a certain look? Or do you dress for comfort? I think if you just dress for comfort, a style will evolve by itself. Your "own" style.

[Sometimes Steffi]

A lot of my style consists of what I like, but a good portion also depends on what looks good on me.

I don't consciously have a style, but I do have clothing colors that I prefer. I prefer pinks, blues, reds and grays. I don't have anything in earth tones. I prefer bright colors, typically with sparkles or florals. I have very little black, and no LBDs. I prefer silver jewelry to gold. I think it looks better with my skin undertones.

One of my good CD friends thinks I have a style, and she can usually pick things out that I like.

As for hair, I have a lot of inexpensive wigs, mostly shoulder length or longer, but some short. I think wig color from red, to auburn, to brunette, to dirty blonde look good on me. Black and lighter blondes don't.

Most of my lipstick and blush comes from the plum section.

[Rachael Leigh]

Jordan as someone who is going through transition, I don’t think I thought to much about it but what I did think of was
my work. Those folks see my 5 days a week so I had to consider my hair and not change it often. I’m pretty conservative as
a dresser so that was easy for me at work as we are business casual so it fit my wardrobe
This is a great question though
Rachael

[PamelaRI]

Pamela's style is definitely different than my male style. While I'm trying to grow out my hair and decide on an androgynous or convertible style, my only wig is slightly below shoulder length with side swept bangs in a color slightly lighter than my ash brown colored hair. Male style is pretty boring vanilla business casual with 2 pairs of shoes and a pair of winter boots. My other side is mostly knee length skirts, skinny jeans and leggings with a variety of tops. And I have 10 pairs of shoes/boots with varying heel heights including my sneakers that I wear in male mode quite often. Perhaps I dress a little younger than my age (skinny jeans, yoga pants and leggings), but not obscenely so.

[Beverley Sims]

I have been big, little,long and short.

Keep experimenting with your appearance.

Comfort in yourself eventually decides who you want to be.

[Stephanie43]

I’ve always been a pretty casual guy with a casual style of clothes. Nice but casual. My femme side seems to be much the same. I’m not really into fancy dresses and the whole expensive restaurant or country club type of look. I’m the type of girl you would see at a nice sports bar, playing pool and just having fun. I tend to gravitate towards shorts, casual tops to match, casual skirts and tops. Basically I like nice looking but casual type of clothes. For me, the makeup and hair (wig) is what completes the look I’m going for. I also still feel like I’m being me, just dressed as a girl / woman. I posted on another thread somewhere that if I were a GG, I’d be the type to go out of the house with minimal makeup and hair just thrown into a ponytail or clipped back. It just accured to me that I probably have more of an active wear style versus a formal wear style. Comfort ladies, comfort. And don’t kill me, but I love me some..............flip flops. It’s hot here the southern United States.

[Lux]

To answer your question, I am always changing my look. It's to much fun not to. Half the time I decide what cute dress or outfit I want to wear and then choose my wig color based on the dress/outfit color. I usually go with a more auburn color like my profile picture but have been enjoying my dark rooted blonde wigs lately as seen in in my profile pic.

Is all part of the fantasy and getting creative with new colors or makeup. I'm really into the Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow palettes lately and just love the YouTube tutorials. Throw colored contacts in and the possibilities are endless!

[raeleen]

I think the answer to this question kind of depends on what Jordan means to you in life. Is she a fun occasional expression of your femme side? Is she something deeper and more important in relation to your gender identity? Depending on where you fall when answering the question of what she means to you will help determine whether you really need to settle on a style and the 'kind of girl' Jordan is. Especially when girls are just starting to get out and experience the world, I think there's a tendency for us to over-femme ourselves. We become caricatures of femininity because it's been bottled up so long. I know the analogy of being a teenager is often used, and teens are constantly trying on different styles and looks to figure out what suits them. So, I guess this really gets down to 'does it matter?'

FWIW, I think you pull off just about every style you share fabulously, girl!

[sometimes_miss]

I was having a conversation today with one of my few friends with whom I share my Jordan side. I was asking her opinion on a look I was going for and she told me that she felt that I have too many different looks. She said that it was hard for her to get a feel for who Jordan was and what her style is with all the different hair styles and breast sizes. I don't disagree with her point. Even though women can change hair styles it's typically a very slow change and a long term commitment. And obviously the body doesn't change quickly either. What it boiled down too was her asking "who is Jordan, what kind of girl is she?"
'Jordan' must be an old lady. Young women often change their hair and styles quite often, depending upon where they're going, what they're doing, and who they want to be on any given day. One day it's biker chick, next day, executive job applicant, evenings it's hot dancer babe, another, at home comfy girl next door. Another example is beach styles; one day it's a string bikini, the next, tankini and cover up. All the women I've dated had various 'looks' which went with wherever and whatever they wanted to do. Even my pretty conservative ex wife had some short, flashy dresses to go partying in.
Your friend must have her own issues to feel that she needs to limit herself so much. I kinda feel bad for her.


I'm wondering if picking a single Jordan will help me discover who she is.
'She' is YOU. Or, YOU are HER. There isn't some separate personality going on, there aren't 'sides', there aren't two people in your head. There's simply you and the feelings you are trying to avoid admitting you have. This is understandable, we're all raised to think that thinking anything feminine or feeling any emotions as women do are the worst possible things any boy or man could feel or do. So don't feel bad about it, but understand that it's all YOU. Only then can you start to come to grips with what it all means.

This hiding it all behind an imaginary female persona simply stops us from figuring out who and what we really are. So, sure, it's scary. But embrace the feminine thoughts and enjoy the feelings. It's a good thing. Really.

[alwayshave]

My style tends to be very formal, it's what I am drawn to. I know limit myself to a single set of forms which are about a B/C on my frame. So I have settled in on a look.

[XemmaX]

it took me some years to develop my style that i have today. lots of checking out magazines and seeing what girls of my age group were wearing.

[Lea]

I am lucky with a supportive wife. She came with me with the purchase of my breast forms. I told my wife that and the store employee that I wanted the size that would look the best with my frame. I have stuck to that since my purchase.

I have two style of wigs. One for winter and one that is shorter for the hot humid summers. I stick to those.

What has changed is my clothing style. I was so use to dressing in black and grey in DRAB that it carried over to my female side. Now I am more into brighter colors and design such as flowers etc.

When getting dressed I choose what to wear on how I feel. Do I want to wear a dress, a line skirt, what length etc. Just so many more options.

Growing up girls are changing the styles and learning who they are and what style they like. We do they same thing although at a slower rate as we are only part timers. Go with what makes you feel comfortable. Your style and who you are will come through. My wife can not understand how I can spend as much time in dresses or skirts, heels and hose as I do. She calls me a girly girl which always makes me smile. That is my style. She prefers shorts and a tank top. That is her style.

[Joyce Swindell]

I've taken your question a little different than some. To me the "who are you" is more about the changes in your demeanor. Obviously you have a change in dress...but your choice of style. As a young CD it was more the feel of the clothing with little regard to much more. I picked things out that I felt had less chance of giving me away as a dude in a dress. This was the path many of us had.

Since marrying ...what I like to call...."the right woman" I have been able to explore and share the Joyce side of me. With her initial feedback of my wardrobe when we met I was way too conservative. She hated most of my wardrobe. With her help and companionship the experiences have been adding up. I find now that, just like a young girl growing and evolving into a style and learning more about herself, I believe we all evolve into who we are.

We go shopping and pick what we like. We get our nails done, hair cut, glasses.....etc and evolve into who we are. Both in our male worlds and female worlds. Having spent only moments in fem compared to years in male mode we need to give ourselves more time to evolve into who we are as our feminine self.

So take what you can and let the experiences grow and evolve into your "who you are".

[Abbey11]

I like to change my look, play with makeup and just go with how I feel at the time

[SuzyZahn]

OMG, One of the biggest reasons to enjoying my `otherside`is the latitude and selections in wardrobes and appearances that one can have compared to `the Drab side`. Lets face it, guy clothes are sooooo boring compared to what we have in our feminine wardrobes. It allows us to change up or down depending upon our feelings. Sexy,business,classy,club wear,and plain ole sweats if one prefers. I personally don`t have any `one` style. Variety is fun!!! Enjoy mixing it up Jordan.

[DIANEF]

My styles do change, for decades I only wore auburn wigs, until I decided it was time to try blonde, and loved it. It is now my colour of choice but being able to change when I want is one of the things I love about CDing. As for clothes there is so much choice compared to the drab male world there is no comparison. I don't change every week, but knowing the options are there is wonderful.

[Diane Taylor]

Go with being who you are when you are. Whatever feels right is what's best. Don't let others put a crimp in your style.

[Jenna Stunned]

Hmmm, Why do you have to choose only one? If dressing one way makes you happy today, then go for it. If dressing another way makes you happy another, Rock it!! There is no wrong way to be Jordan, Unless your not enjoying being Jordan, Which I don't think is the case. Be free Hun to dress yourself how ever you see yourself on that day. As long as it makes you happy that's all that should matter. I think you always have a great sense of style, So whatever your doing, Keep it up.

P.S. I have no fashion sense in either boy or girl mode, So perhaps I'm not the best person to be giving advice on this subject?

[Majella St Gerard]

Why should you have to choose

[julia marie]

As they say, clothes don't make the man. Neither do the skirt, wig, or bra size. Be yourself in the way that you feel on a given day or even different times of day. If you can experiment with different looks, do it. Enjoy! Personally, if I'm going out I tend to dress casual (skirt or jeans with a sweater or lighter top, and nothing outrageous, although I've started going with the occasional dress/business look). When working at home, it's mostly the casual stuff, but I sometimes go with more of an "at the gym" look even though I can't go to the gym as a woman, and I've even been known to wear a bathing suit around the house (and sometimes for a quick swim during summer). All that said, Julia's "look" is defined by nature: Overweight old woman in a wig. I just wish i could have started dressing decades earlier before the fat built up.

[Lana Mae]

Hi, Jordan! I kind of like the girl next door style but not the yoga pants but the jeans! Yes and I have dresses that could be worn at a formal as well! They are still all part of my style! Only own one set of forms! They are C cup to match my 44" chest and most of my female relatives are around that size! Just my $.02! Hugs Lana Mae Me,too, Julia!

[Jaymees22]

I always find my style evolving, trying different looks is what makes it fun. The outfits I wear at home are usually a lot different then what I wear out. I envision myself as an older woman (because I am) yet stylish, so I stick with my gray hair it looks more natural.

[docrobbysherry]

If I had to pick only one style and look? I'd sign up for the Army again. Where I nearly died of boredom!:straightface:

[mechamoose]

We all get into all of the possibilities, all the facets. We sometimes take it too far.

But I have a core. I have a self that shines through. If you have not found that yet, then you might want to examine that.

<3

- MM

[NicoleScott]

I don't dress, I dress up. From the start, I got more pleasure by emphasizing UP, more is better, over-the-top everything. I tried different looks. I bought 2 must-have wigs that I wore only once. I didn't choose my look (if only it would have been thst easy), but I kept playing with it, and one day I found it. I even said out loud to my image in the mirror "nailed it".

[Krisi]

..................... So here's my question to all of you. Did you have to choose a style/person? Did you just know right out of the gate? Or are you like me, does the type of girl you are change depending on the day. And......... discuss.

I didn't have to choose a style or person. My "style" is the daughter my mother never had. My sister if I had one. I don't change my style or who I am pretending to be from day to day. I have one pair of breast forms and one wig, much like a woman who has the same boobs and hair every day. I may wear casual clothes one day and more "dress up" clothes another day but that's what a woman does as well.

I would say your friend is right; you should figure out who you are. You don't have to of course but she has a good point.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jordan:hugs:, I too have very many looks and styles,
With three sets of forms and a dozen & a half wigs and three closets full
I can have just about any look that makes me happy at the moment.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Sandy Storm]

I am still trying to find my style, although I have a look I love just have not found the right outfit to rock it yet

[Cheryl T]

I didn't choose per se. It was more of a development as time passed.
There were stages before I came out. Heavy makeup and sexy lingerie for a time, then sexy outfits (see a theme here) until I came out to my wife.
At that point I knew I wanted to venture out and that these looks wouldn't do. I didn't want to be the subject of ridicule and finger pointing. I wanted to blend in and just be me. That was the beginning of my development as a woman. Now my closet reflects that. Of course there are dressy clothes for fancy occasions, but mostly if you looked at the clothes you couldn't tell if it was for me or not.
I'm comfortable being me now and dressing just like everyone else. I'm not a fashionista, but I try to be stylish.

[BrendaPDX]

I live in the Great Pacific Northwest. GGs here tend to wear yoga pants, and bluejeans, not skirts or dresses which is what I want to wear. Unless it's some type of formal event or a professional job that requires it most GGs here dress pretty drab, also known as "casual". I do have a style in my mind and I generally find it, I don't know it. I try on several outfits mostly to calm the pink mist, then push to the limit what will blend to what I want. Usually it's a denim skirt or I might push it to a patterned skirt and cotton 3/4 sleeve tee shirt with a denim jacket. Always a dark wig medium length. The style/person I want to be just isn't what the stiles are. Brenda

[Ellie Summer]

I think that given enough time and experience I could figure it out, but it hasn't happened yet. What style Ellie ends up with is probably less what I'm looking for and more trial and error and deciding if something works. A year and a half later I still feel like I'm in my infancy with this stuff, although I've managed to narrow down a few things that definitely work better than others. I like my hair style the way it is, and while I'm willing to try new things, I keep going back to the hair that you almost always see me with. Ironically I've been growing my real hair out for almost 2 years now and it's approaching my wig length.
I'll echo the idea that men's clothes are, in comparison to women's very boring. Now that this has hit me, I have definitely been in explorative mode with few boundaries and have ended up really liking things that were never really on my radar to begin with. I have a feeling that whenever I get around to trying a skirt suit I'll fall in love, but some of the things that I really had my eye on ended up looking ridiculous. The best I can do is see women in public and decide which feels right for me, and then explore in my Ellie time. I will say that I've definitely gone through waves, starting out with a look that was intentionally a little more risque, and then quickly growing out of that to discover the girl at a nice summer picnic look, and then on to the cozy girl at a ski lodge in an oversized sweater. To me, this has always been about exploring and tearing down walls, and that includes many different styles of dress and makeup. Having a certain "look" will come with more maturity I think, but for now it's all over the board. I could be wrong though, maybe one of you could tell me that I DO have a look and I'm just not picking up on it.