A new way to get in trouble with my wife

[Sometimes Steffi]

I was out of town over Thanksgiving with my wife and daughter. Not doing anything really special, but we just wanted to get away from the house for a few days. One of the places that my wife and daughter wanted to go to was "The Fashion Gallery", a local store that sells only women's clothes, shoes and accessories. We were just wandering around separately, and one of the SAs asked me if I needed any help. I told her that I didn't, but my wife might want some help. Then my wife came up, and the SA asked her if she needed any help.

And here's where I got into trouble. I had separated from my wife again, and I noticed that they had some really pretty women's clothes. So, I was just looking at them, checking the price, but not even taking them off the rack. I didn't think I was being at all obvious. As I said in another post, this is the time of year when I guy can shop for anything (feminine) anywhere without the SAs thinking anything other than I'm buying something for my wife.

Then my wife caught up with me and said, "I can't shop here when you are looking around for something for yourself. I know what you're doing, and all the SAs know that you're shopping for yourself." When we left the store, I got another big dressing down about looking for clothes for myself.

I didn't think I was being so obvious. And, there was no way I was going to buy anything with her looking on.

Just a reminder that acceptance is just "barely there", and that I shouldn't hope that she'd help Steffi shop for anything ever.

[OCCarly]

Since the SA's already know, you should schedule a solo trip back there on your own time.

[Maria 60]

Never thought of shopping for clothes this time of year and making it seem like your shopping for a Christmas present. Maybe worth another visit there and maybe tell them that your wife is the same size as you and maybe you should try them on.Lol It seems like they would understand knowing they seemed like they were on to you anyway. One day at a time.

[Sami Brown]

With a reaction like that from your wife, I wonder why she wanted to drag you to a women's clothing store to begin with. Do you think she did it to test you?

Sami

[Joni T]

I used to get the same sentiments from my ex when we were shopping. She'd say "We're shopping for me, NOT for you."
Jon

[sometimes_miss]

Just a reminder that acceptance is just "barely there", and that I shouldn't hope that she'd help Steffi shop for anything ever.
Yeah, the pink fog can make us forget just how much our mates really don't like it, that we crossdress.


Never thought of shopping for clothes this time of year and making it seem like your shopping for a Christmas present. Maybe worth another visit there and maybe tell them that your wife is the same size as you
Oh, you lucky 'normal sized' people!

There ARE NO women my size. So whatever people like me buy, it's pretty obvious it's for probably for us. I mean, my sister's six feet tall, but I outweigh her by about 100 pounds, my hands and feet are MUCH larger, as is my neck, etc..

You lucky b******s!

[Teresa]

Steffi,
It's been a while since I shopped with my wife, most times she usually marches passed the racks in the women's section, but it doesn't stop me looking . On one occasion she was looking for some shoes, she is size 3 so I headed up the rows to size 8 and was completely engrossed when she caught up with me, I just smiled and she shook her head , saying time for coffee and a nice cake, she knows that would entice me away from the racks .

[alwayshave]

Steffi, too bad. I'm lucky in that my Fiancee will help me shop and give constructive criticism.

[Sarasometimes]

Sorry to hear about your woes. Most SA's will start with the idea you are shopping for someone else until they get a strong reason to think otherwise. Certain items will cause some to question who you are there for like, foundation items but dresses, pants, tops, scarfs, outerwear is not the case until you hold it up on yourself...
Your wife's thinking comes from the info she knows about you and her concerns about it. Sounds like you have earned some yoga time to de-stress!

[Lana Mae]

Sounds like the wife is making a lot of something out of nothing unless you were really smitten by the pink fog! Better luck next time! Hugs Lana Mae

[Krisi]

My wife and I shop for clothes together often. Clothes for me, clothes for her. I suspect others assume the clothes are all for her but I don't really care. We don't know any of these people personally.

You know you are a crossdresser and your wife knows you are a crossdresser but that's the last thing that's on a SA or stranger's mind. Don't worry about it.

[Meghan4now]

Steph,

Yes, I've heard that complaint more than once. Funny sometimes she is right, sometimes not. But just as hard as it is not to envision some of those items for yourself, it is hard for the wife to not wonder what is going through your head as well.

Just have to let it go. It is part of the territory.

[Tracii G]

When she wants to go shopping again just stay in the car or if you are with her complain and say hurry up just buy something will ya?
Walk over to the chairs and sit down and fall asleep hopefully you will start snoring loudly totally embarrassing her.
The other option is go to a different store close by and shop by yourself.
Personally having her treat me like a kid in public like that I would have to say something right on the spot like "Stop treating me like shit I am free to look".

[Stephanie47]

Decades ago my wife threw some barbs at me about buying lingerie for her. She told me I was buying her lingerie with the thought of how I would look in it. Not true. We had always shopped together for lingerie for her. We even shopped several times for nightgowns for me before she and I realized there was more to me wearing a nightgown than "bedroom play." At the time I was six foot one and 175 pounds which is a foot taller than her and 50 pounds heavier. We have slipped (no pun intended) into a firm DADT marriage. It's been decades since she has made an barbs. This year when she was donating many of her no longer fitting nightgown she told me to take out anything I wanted. She knew there was one in the pile which I had bought her when we were first married and I bought one two sizes to big for her. It is a white knee length peignoir.

Some women just will not leave it alone. It's unfortunate their slant on DADT is to still throw reminders of non acceptance. Yes, this is the time of year to get out there are shop until you drop.

[docrobbysherry]

Sorry, Steffi. But, I think u handled it badly. I would have asked my wife how in the world anyone would know I was looking at stuff for myself except her? U have to stand up for yourself in certain situations. Especially when u did nothing wrong.
Your wife's acting paranoid and needs to be told that!:straightface:

Of course, maybe that's why I'm divorced!:o

[Rowan Ailbhe]

Sorry, Steffi. But, I think u handled it badly. I would have asked my wife how in the world anyone would know I was looking at stuff for myself except her? U have to stand up for yourself in certain situations. Especially when u did nothing wrong.
Your wife's acting paranoid and needs to be told that!:straightface:

Of course, maybe that's why I'm divorced!:o

Lol..part of why I am getting divorced....I started telling her no....then found out quickly what passive agressive toxic narcisism looked like. Not pretty. <shrug> at least I am nearly shut of that kind of behavior.

[DIANEF]

Clothes shopping with my wife is such an ordeal that I avoid it like the plague, plus I have some Christmas shopping of my own to do!

[RADER]

My Wife loved Caroline's Store. They carried large sixes, she was a 24 mostly, and they carried
sizes up to 32. I would look around as she was looking around, and some times I found something for her.
One time I came across a one piece bathing suit that I loved, but it was & 70.00+ and I thought it was to
expensive. The SA said that they had it in my wife's size, but I was holding on to one in my size.
SA kept insisting she could find the smaller size, bu my wife said that that was the size "WE" waned.
In the end, we did not get the suit, I found one very close to that on in a catalog for half the price.
My wife bought it for me, and made me wear it under dressed most summer weekends.
Rader

[deebra]

If you are both wearing panties you have as much right to shop women's clothes as her. If you aren't you still have that right. She is the problem. What's next, how much toilet paper you can use?

[Julie Slowinski]

Just have to let it go. It is part of the territory.

Amen to that.

[Sandy Storm]

Sorry to hear, most of the time my wife never says anything but every once in a while she says I cross the line, and make her self conscious. But I have noticed it's when we are at stores in out local community where everyone knows us. She afraid someone will notice I am waaaaaay too into female items

[Kayliedaskope]

.....my wife caught up with me and said, "I can't shop here when you are looking around for something for yourself. I know what you're doing, and all the SAs know that you're shopping for yourself." When we left the store, I got another big dressing down about looking for clothes for myself.

If you totally wanted to push her buttons, you should have simply gone ahead and bought a dress and some nice lingerie, and when the SA asks if it is for your wife, just say out loud so anyone could hear, "No, these are for me. She didn't want me to buy anything for her."

Gotta love Tracii's responses, too - I would totally do that.

[Sarasometimes]

Steffi,
I find the posts suggesting you mouth off and escalate things interesting but i wonder if they would truly follow their own suggestions. There is that phrase Happy Wife, happy Life.' for a reason! You know best how to handle these situations.

[Rowan Ailbhe]

Steffi,
I find the posts suggesting you mouth off and escalate things interesting but i wonder if they would truly follow their own suggestions. There is that phrase Happy Wife, happy Life.' for a reason! You know best how to handle these situations.

It is, of course different for each of us...and I am no exception...I tend towards the mouthy end of the spectrum...If my boundaries are not important to a person...Imma get loud. But the same holds true for others I see mistreated...you should see some of the scenes I have caused over the years at someone interfereing with, or harassing a nursing mom (my pet peeve...a manager at TGI Fridays once tried to run my wife and I out because she was feeding our daughter...I stood and asked loudly for a show of hands of who thought it was perfectly ok for my daughter to eat her lunch there....nearly everyone raised their hands. I apologized to the crowd for interrupting their lunch and sent the manager off with tail between legs. I later found out it was Friday's corporate policy to discriminate against nursing moms...so I tell this story alot. Similarly, I caught some sleaze creeping on a young lady who was nursing in a mall....I asked her if he was making her uncomfortable, and she looked scared and said "yes." Chased him off and posted myself up about twenty feet away so that baby could eat in peace....saw a young sailor walking the mall and conscripted him (I was a Chief Petty Officer then) to fetch me a mall cop....reported the guy and they caught up to him and banned him.

With my ex...on towards the end of our marriage she would.get told to pack sand with unreasonable garbage.....with R. ....well....R. gets what R. wants insofar as I can provide.

I do think the world would be a better place if everyone practiced and became adept at setting and demanding respect for their bounaries and privacy.

Wanna know who taught me to be like that? My.mentor Chiefs when I was initiated a CPO were all three hard nosed female Hull Technicians...think Rosie the Riveter....one inparticular, K. said it best when she would say, I am not so good at suffering in silence....it is much more fun to make the other clown suffer. lol, I miss her.

[Sidney]

I guess I'm lucky in the shopping area, my wife REALLY HATES to shop. My adult daughter loves to shop and k ows I crossdress. She is my shopping buddy and we enjoy our shopping and lunches together

[Krisi]

Steffi,
I find the posts suggesting you mouth off and escalate things interesting but i wonder if they would truly follow their own suggestions. There is that phrase Happy Wife, happy Life.' for a reason! You know best how to handle these situations.

I suspect the people who post suggestions like that are not married. Advice found on the Internet is not always good advice.

[Kayliedaskope]

Steffi,
I find the posts suggesting you mouth off and escalate things interesting but i wonder if they would truly follow their own suggestions. There is that phrase Happy Wife, happy Life.' for a reason! You know best how to handle these situations.

She's embarrassed me in public several times to the point where I've thrown the car keys at her and walked out and home (seven miles in cowboy boots, y'all, at a good brisk pace - my knees were hurting so much I couldn't go to work the next day.) She's learned that if I get pissed enough, I walk out no matter what we're doing.

[giuseppina]

I somehow doubt the salespeople care, Steffi. I doubt a lady inclined to that much drama would get past the GF stage on me. She would have been told her antics were excessive.

It seems you're not allowed to shop for your wife in her presence, and since when did lingerie have to be strictly for you?