Having had time to reflect

[Helen_Highwater]

So a few days on from returning from my 7 days Helen time I've had time to look back and reflect. I know my little holiday doesn't compare to those who are full time but I think I've learned a great deal in that short space of time.

Being out there allows you become more practiced in how you present. With practice comes ever greater confidence and with that ever better experiences. Certainly throughout the second half of my week I'd reached a position were I'd pretty much forgotten I was dressed. It was just me talking to an SA and it showed. I'm sure they just saw more the person than the clothes and the little conversations that took place were just one person talking to another.

Others who go out and about might disagree but I also feel confidence acts both as a shield and a deterrent. By that I mean owning the space, I think is the phrase used, signals to others I'm not embarrassed or afraid, I'm here and not worried by what you think. In fact I'm not really paying you any real attention at all.

And just being you, the person, not feeling conscious of how you're dressed perhaps reflects itself in the last interaction I had with a muggle.

I'd eaten in a hotel restaurant and then sat for an hour or so in a comfy seat in the lounge enjoying a drink and bit of quiet time. As I was putting on my coat to leave the receptionist started talking to me. It was wet and windy out so she asked, "Have you got far to walk to your car? The weather's awful. You could get soaked" The conversation developed about how she'd had to drive along the motorway in the wind and rain and how it'd scared her. Where and why she'd been away. Just a normal conversation she might have with anyone else.

So I suppose that's my point. As I didn't feel like a CD'er out on an adventure but just me, Helen doing the everyday normal, my demeanor shaped how she interacted with me. So if you're one of those standing behind your front door itching to get out all I can say it from my albeit limited experiences, there's a world out there of decent folk who will treat you with respect just like they do with anyone else.

Bon voyage.

[Jean 103]

I very happy for you, as you are 100% correct. It's not about passing,or owning it, it's about just being yourself. In this case it's like how any woman would treat another woman. It is simply being treated as you are presenting. As you have found, all you have to do is be relaxed, and just be yourself.

[Nikki A.]

Well said Helen. I have to agree, relax and be yourself and you'll be surprised on how people will react.

[Vikky]

Hi Helen
Magic experience, I'm envious.
Vikky

[Allisa]

To paraphrase a movie line "by joe I think she's got it". It's great when everything comes together and you are just being you and yes it does show. No more practice your there.

[Rachael Leigh]

Helen you have hit on it for sure, the more you go out the more you begin to understand that most don’t really care unless
your acting scared or strange. As one who is mostly fulltime I even now can feel a bit more comfortable with minimal
makeup because my clothes are just clothes and what I wear should be nobodies business.
Thanks for sharing
Rachael

[Alice B]

Going to my first DLV several years ago was a great confidence builder. 7 days of 7/25 dressing in the main stream. Dinners out, shopping, golf, walking the streets during the day and at night, dealing with hotel staff, valet parking, make overs and all the other things you (as a woman) would do on a vacation. It becomes second natutre and you learn to be not afraid, confident and totsally enjoy the moment. It makes it hard to come back to the reality of life at home, work and dealing with people

[DIANEF]

Always like reading your stories Helen. I hope to be at your stage one day.

[suzanne]

It's a wonderfully liberating experience, isn't it? Just being yourself, dressed in a way that makes you feel healthy and whole is amazing, and I'm happy for your having had that kind of an outing.

[docrobbysherry]

I think I scare most folks when I'm out dressed. Masked or not. For that reason, most folks tend to avoid Sherry or me, dressed.:eek:

SA's, waitresses, bar servers, etc. don't have a choice but to engage me. My intercourse with them is much as Helen described.:thumbsup:

[DaisyLawrence]

More wise words from Helen as I have come to expect.

[Beverley Sims]

Now it is all back to earth, I bet the next trip away will be better and probably not in the too far future. :-)

[Teresa]

Helen,
There is so much I agree with , from sitting comfortably in a lounge enjoying afternoon tea , to dressing and gradually becoming so use the the clothes you are wearing it becomes a reality check when you catch sight of yourself in a mirror, or when you need to take a toilet break .

The important point is you didn't have any negative reactions , it might have put a different angle on your comments , I guess that's when we know when we truly own it .

The big question is after a week how does it really feel to return to male mode ? Does the thought of wanting to stay as Helen become harder to fight ? Do you really think you could do full time ?

I know you'll understand these question as they are ones I will have to consider very soon .

[Mickitv]

Great experience Love hearing good stories of gurls being happy

[Helen_Highwater]

Helen,
There is so much I agree with , from sitting comfortably in a lounge enjoying afternoon tea , to dressing and gradually becoming so use the the clothes you are wearing it becomes a reality check when you catch sight of yourself in a mirror, or when you need to take a toilet break .

The important point is you didn't have any negative reactions , it might have put a different angle on your comments , I guess that's when we know when we truly own it .

The big question is after a week how does it really feel to return to male mode ? Does the thought of wanting to stay as Helen become harder to fight ? Do you really think you could do full time ?

I know you'll understand these question as they are ones I will have to consider very soon .

Teresa,

Being in male mode is my normality. While I do get Helen time every week it's within the confines of the home and always sans makeup. So in truth it's not a a huge wrench switching back. Yes I do think about it but I know that in order to have more regular full on time would require me to come out to my nearest and dearest and the potential downsides are so great that it's not a risk I'm prepared to take. As for going full time, well given my current situation it's not going to happen. If I were out and totally free to spend for full on Helen time I still think I wouldn't be contemplating going full time. I like the duality of my life. Today I've been doing some manual work that even if I was totally free to dress, I can't see me wanting to do those tasks enfemme. Doing such manual tasks in makeup and nails would seem just too odd.

Against that I'm sure if circumstances allowed I could spend several days at a time fully enfemme each week. However I'm not sure I would want to be out to everyone that knows me so in order to dress and be out and about I might find myself traveling to shop etc in places away from where I live.

As for your situation, I would suggest a suck it and see approach. Dressing for several days, even a week or more I suspect, and I may be wrong, that at some point you'll know one morning that the day will be spent in drab and the reason could be as trivial as you're not in the mood to do makeup. Whatever you choose will be right. Go with the flow and don't fret it.

And to all you other's who replied, I'm glad my writings found resonance with you. My trips away are very infrequent but one thing I try to do each time is hit the ground running, picking up as close to where I left off the last time. Thankfully I was pretty close to how my last trip ended right from the off, settling into femme thinking quite quickly.

So now I'm looking forward to the next time. I'm trying to think of things I can do enfemme to broaden my experience. I've shopped, tried on things, eaten in restaurants and cafes, been to the cinema, traveled on trains, buses and by taxi. I've met up with other CD'ers in social situations The theatre is on my todo list but finding a show to see near where I usually stay isn't that easy. It would be nice to share out and about time with others, to have a wing woman.