Light confrontation today

[Tracii G]

I stopped by a place to eat after doing some shopping today and ran into a lady not so happy with the way I was dressed.
The hostess was getting ready to take me to my seat when the guy and his wife and daughter came in.
I heard her as the hostess was taking me to my seat.
Her voiced carried like a coyote howl "OMG what the hell is that a girly man?"
The hostess seated them in the booth right next to me so I had to listen to her bitching all thru dinner.
Anyway I got up to get my salad and she gave me the "look" you know the one the up and down look.
Things went OK and the talk was not so much about eating dinner next to a tranny but other stuff she was bitching about.
I went back to get some fruit and she went out of her way to follow me.
She goes around me and on to the bathroom so I thought OK I was wrong she just has to pee.
Well no she turns around and says what are you a woman a fag or what?
I said excuse me Miss bad manners whats your problem?
An older lady was getting some salad and she looked over and scowled at the lady and said OMG you are so rude.
The bitch lady just stands there so I asked is that all?
She says I guess so faggot. I said OK have a nice day.
Right as the were leaving the place was getting crowded she looks into my booth and says bye girly man.
I smiled and said good bye but FYI if you are going to wear sweat pants at least wear some SPANX please.
Her mouth dropped open and she stood there.Her husband said come on lets go you are embarrassing me.

[Piora]

Some 'creatures' are just a waste of space. Nice comment when she was leaving, Tracii! :heehee:

[AngieStone]

Tracii that is horrible that someone would act like that. Thank goodness you where the bigger person. I applaud you for how you handled the situation and not kicking her worthless butt. I like that the other woman at the salad bar spoke up as well.

[foxy bartender]

You’re kinda bad ass!
I may have had an anxiety attack, but you handled yourself like a boss
So sorry that happened, but good for you for sticking up for yourself
Thank you for sharing this

[Rayleen]

Tracii, you handle very well, she wanted you to start a fight probably not because of you, but some other problem. She decided to take it on you. Sorry it ruined you restaurent meal.

[giuseppina]

I wonder if her husband read her the Riot Act. I suppose we'll never know.

This kind of nonsense is unhealthy for the daughter. Some child protection agencies have deemed it child abuse.

[Ariana225]

Way to go Tracii!! You handled the situation like a pro. Just think, you had to deal with her for a meal, that husband has to deal with her a lot longer lol

[Littleg2]

Tracii G,
I know I only know you from these boards, but I would expect nothing less from you. Courteous with a bit of sass. How horrible for someone to act that way. Judging from her hubbys remark, the woman seems incorrigible, and the world could do with less like her. Super nice of the older lady to have your back, so to speak. And how very thoughtful of you to offer some fashion advice to her after her being so snarky and rude to you. ;)

[docrobbysherry]

Perfect, Tracii! And, is exactly why I try not to frequent vanilla venues when dressed!:eek:

I have neither your fortitude or resilience! Bravo!:hugs:

[Kelly DeWinter]

Tracci;

I am so sorry you had to go through that, I hope that I would be able to have the poise and manners that you showed in a difficult situation. Bravo.

As far as the husband is concerned, I pity him for being married to someone who shows less manners than a 10 year old.

[Kayliedaskope]

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's eve?
For thou art a douche."

:)

Great way to handle her, Tracii, and making her husband uncomfortable as well. He didn't deserve the embarrassment, but as he did nothing to stop her, he was just as guilty. Kudos to the lady who had your six.

[Jean 103]

Very well done.

I think I would have gone off on her. Which would have been the wrong way to handle it, stopping to her level.

[Teresa]

Tracii,
I'm not sure what I would say to her, but obviously she had a problem before she saw you and was looking to let rip at someone and you were in the firing line .

The only occasion I have had some reaction was when an old lady stopped when I was dressed having breakfast , she propped herself on her walking stick , looked me up and down but said nothing and walked off. I did remark to the others at my table that I now know what a full body scan feels like !

[Robin777]

Traci, You took the high road when she went after you. I don't know what I would have done if I was in your shoes. I do like what you said to her. It was the perfect remark for someone so intolerant. I doubt if her husband read her the riot act. He probably has given up trying to get her to keep her mouth shut.

[suzanne]

Great job on keeping your composure. The Spanx comment was pure genius. I'm afraid I don't think that fast. Nice bonus to get support from her own husband, too.

[Tracii G]

The SPANX comment was well deserved because wearing sweat pants and having saddlebag hips is not a good look for anyone.
I did hit below the belt a bit but the delivery was comical to say the least.
Imagine a gay man dressed as a woman looking at a woman and telling her her ass is flabby and getting away with it and there were people within just feet all looking at her ass and thinking "Oh my that lady does need SPANX bad". Good call gay guy dressed as a woman.

[Kayliedaskope]

There is no 'like' button, but this should do just as well.


:bitchslap:

:^5::GD::eg::notworthy::notworthy::notworthy:
:cheer::cheer::cheer:

[CarlaWestin]

Nicely handled, Tracii. I probably wouldn't have handled it as elegantly.
Maybe said something like, "Ma'am, I heard your remarks so I licked your silverware before you were seated. Have a nice day."
Then wave to the husband, "Nice to see you again! Call me!"

[paulaprimo]

damn Carla, i wanna hang out with you!! lol

nicely handled Tracii! it's great that you can see the good in other people
in a bad situation.

i once had a guy say to me, "are you a dude" not in a bad way, or a fight or
flight situation, so i replied "i was just about to ask you that very same thing"
he stood there for about 10 seconds with his mouth wide open, then broke out
in laughter... we were fine after that. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tracii :hugs:, It sounds like you handled it nicely, You really have to feel sorry for that B's Husband.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Sami Brown]

Your reaction to this women gives hope to those of us who are still reluctant to go out in public due to our fear of this type of confrontation. This was about as bad as it could get without having a physical confrontation started by the other. The fact that you got through gives me greater courage to be in public, because the final outcome wasn't as bad as it would have played out in my mind. Thank you for sharing, Tracii.

Sami

[Dana44]

Tracii, that was a great remark. She was a bad girl and her husband has to put up with her.

[Jaylyn]

What has happened to just common courtesy. The lady was asking for it. I'm so short tempered I might have started something but you did a great job. Good for you.

[Tracii G]

Sami I am out and being in public dressed is not a huge deal. I have been thru some bad confrontations but 99% are good.
Expect the unexpected is my motto.
I have had people ask what gender I am when I am in 50/50 mode (boy) so dressing in an androgynous way makes people curious I guess.
Some people have a hard time dealing with someone different but most just don't care.
I don't act like most people think gay guys act but I can turn it on and have a good time with it if I have to confront bitchy/crabby women.
I never know what will come out of my mouth in some situations LOLOL

[Rowan Ailbhe]

Good job.. I might not have been that nice....but I am my granny's grandson...and she could not stand people.like that...

Spanx...lmao!

[jack-ie]

Lol, poor lady, or fill in the balnk ____, probably had to go home and google Spanx to understand the takedown.

[lingerieLiz]

I think I might have used the ugly comeback. When I get home I can change clothes, but you can't change ugly woman. The really good thing for me is I can handle almost anyone in a fight. Lots of training.

[Elizabeth G]

Well done Tracii. You handled yourself well and put her in her place without stooping to her level. I can only hope I am up to the task equivalently if I'm ever in a similar situation.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Kudos to Tracii! You kept your cool and the moral high ground and still zinged her!
Additional kudos to the bystander who let the witch know she was out of line.

But from what you related about her bitchin about random other topics, it sounds like she is just a miserable person who can't see the good, only the negative.

[Robin-in-TX]

Way to go. I wish I had your bravery; she demonstrated all the reasons I will not go out.

[Pat]

And Tracii demonstrated all the reasons you should. ;) Good show.:thumbsup:

[Linda P.]

Tracii,
I try to imagine myself in that situation and how I would react. I don't think I could have kept my cool the way you did.

[DaisyLawrence]

The Spanx bit - priceless! Thank you Traci for brightening my morning.

[Jodie_Lynn]

To all the gurls who say "This is why I don't go out" : If you don't spread your wings, you'll never be able to fly!

In my voyages out, the worst I have encountered (so far), is the stink eye, from one individual, which I returned with a smile. She didn't know how to react to that, so I count it as a win.

What I'm saying is: Don't deny yourself because of fear. There is a whole, wonderful world out there... Be yourself, be proud, be adventurous!

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

- Frank Herbert, Dune

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Traci,
OMG! You frickin' ROCK girlfriend!

Jodi...I've always liked "If you don't jump, you'll never
know if you can fly!"
Visual?...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWfph3iNC-k
Much Love,
Kristyn

[alwayshave]

Traci, you get extra points for handling it perfectly.

[toering63]

Great that you held your ground with your head high. Way to go Tracii.

[sometimes_miss]

Great way to handle her, Tracii, and making her husband uncomfortable as well. He didn't deserve the embarrassment, but as he did nothing to stop her, he was just as guilty
As long as they keep quiet and don't to anything to egg the nasty person on, I just give the relative/friend(s) a pass. Men, especially will pretty much do anything to appease a woman in order to have sex with her. I'm guilty of overlooking some bad behavior myself, all in order to keep the sex available. I know, I know, it's not the best way to live, but hey, I want the sex.
And AFA family members, well, they're stuck with the nasty person too, and simply by the way the nasty person behaves, it's likely that they, too, have been the target of the nasty person at some point, too.


Nicely handled, Tracii. I probably wouldn't have handled it as elegantly.
Maybe said something like, "Ma'am, I heard your remarks so I licked your silverware before you were seated. Have a nice day." Then wave to the husband, "Nice to see you again! Call me!"

Rather than insult the lady directly, perhaps it would have been better to simply tell her that it's such a shame that she is raising her child to become a bigot, and let that be the last comment.

The nasty people of the world rarely learn the error of their ways. Many are brought up that way, either by parents or by groups with terribly awful religious beliefs (or both), so all we can usually do is just provide a better example of how to behave to others. Rather than fight and demand respect AS a CD/TG person, I try to demonstrate to the mean folks around me that everyone deserves to be respected, even if they're not like us.

[Sandy Storm]

Well played well played

[Rhonda Jean]

I would have just left, and been pretty shook up about it. I avoid confrontation generally, and especially when dressed. I probably would have wished I could handle it more like Tracy did, but I'm such a coward when it comes to stuff like this. Thankfully, I've never been confronted in this way.

A milder experience I did have... I would have been probably 21. My wife had to work Saturdays, so that was my day to wear her clothes (with her permission) and go out and do my thing. At the time I was 100% confident that I was completely passable anywhere. I found out not. I stopped in McDonalds mid morning in a dress and heels (first mistake). When I first walked in I saw the girl behind the counter go bug-eyed. I knew she read me. I ordered and carried my tray around the corner. Two cowboy-looking guys with their girlfriends came in as I was walking away. The girl behind the counter told them, "Be careful over there. There's a guy dressed as a woman!" I took about two bites and left, hoping that they wouldn't do/say anything, which they didn't.

Almost 40 years later, I still remember it vividly. That was the first time anybody even acted like they read me. I became even more obsessed with passing, and probably passed even less because of some of the things I did. The memory of even that mild encounter still frequently floats into mind when I'm out. Thankfully, negative experiences have been rare. My life "out" has been overwhelmingly positive, but there are those times...

[GretchenJ]

That must have taken a boatload of tongue holding and patience on your behalf Tracii. Even the husband knew she was acting as a total buffoon. I am in awe of your self confidence and your ability to handle a possible explosive situation.

[Tina_gm]

Sounds a lot like the typical reaction to the area in which I live. I am sorry for the rudeness you encountered, but you handled it superbly, great job.

[Tracii G]

I have always acted like a girl when it came to throwing barbs and remembering the little things that people did that aggravated me.
That used to drive my second wife crazy,she would say arguing with you is like arguing with a woman.

I use the Road House method of dealing with people which is "be nice until its time to not be nice.

https://youtu.be/nTh5JzRziHE

[Beverley Sims]

I like that, you have to remain calm to be able to cut them down like that.

Most of my differences have all been in retrospect....

I could have handled the retorts better and shot them down in flames.

[Ressie]

This takes me back to western Colorado in 1973 when my band (four members) stopped at a restaurant. There was a table of cowboy types that started repeating, "hippies stink" along with other comments. None of us responded to the comments. We sat there for 45 minutes and didn't get waited on so we left.

Tracii, you handled the situation so well. You're very much a hero to your peers. Thanks for sharing.

[Lydianne]

Hi, Tracii! As others have said, it's regrettable that you had to endure that nonsense, and the way she kept coming back to give you more was crazy :rolleyes:.

But she's fixed now. Good job! :thumbsup:.

- Lydianne.

[Tracii G]

Ressie I was a hippie in the 60's so I remember those looks quite well.
Thanks Lydianne I have met more women than men who will egg on a argument and escalate things.
Men realize that physical contact will happen if you keep it up but women think nobody will retaliate because they are a woman.
She had a big mouth and an ego to match and it needed to be checked.
I did feel bad for her man and daughter they were both having to listen to her.
I can only hope she is "fixed".LOL

[Pat]

Rather than insult the lady directly, perhaps it would have been better to simply tell her that it's such a shame that she is raising her child to become a bigot, and let that be the last comment.

Really? You think the better option would have been to insult her child, bringing the child and probably the husband into it? That seems like an escalation to me. Tracii focused on the person who was the problem and didn't widen the engagement. Seemed pretty like a pretty cool solution to me.

[Stephanie47]

If the server or management of the restaurant had observed her behavior it would have been proper for her to be tossed from the restaurant. I can only assume from the reaction of her husband that he has had to endure her bad and rude behavior constantly. Happy to read another woman called her rudeness out. I had to chuckle at your comment and her reaction. I have seen over my seven decades on the earth too many people comfortable with their rude behavior and expect no push back. Frankly, if I were a customer at the restaurant observing her rudeness to you I would have gotten up and went to the manager to lodge a complaint. Such behavior not only makes it uncomfortable for you, it makes it uncomfortable for others around you.

[Tracii G]

Stephanie47 I choose to deal with people like that head on and directly,dragging in management or making a big scene isn't my thing.
I'm no trans activist or SJW and will not claim to be a victim to other people in a public setting.
She steps on me honey I will step back thats just the way I am.
If you let them treat you that way and cry to someone else (management) for help you are advocating for having a victim mentality IMO.
I will never be a victim and will always stand up for myself.

[Ressie]

^ Like^

Thinking one is a victim will make one angry, hateful and unhappy. We should all strive to be more like Tracii.

[donnalee]

Frankly, I think there should be a bounty on folks like that, with an explanation of their misdeeds mounted along with their heads in the town square.

I was stuck in a taqueria and this elderly woman, there with what appeared to be a daughter and 2 grandkids was just yelling at everybody, including the children(who were quite well behaved). It was so irritating that I was tempted to interfere and tell her to stop abusing those children or I'd get family services into the act, but thought better of it. I suspect the younger woman and kids were financially dependent on this old woman; I can't think of any other reason they'd sit there and take that kind of crap.

[Julie Slowinski]

Great story. Perfect example of how to respond - 1000% confidence without causing a scene. I know I would have had a hard time holding it together on both counts. I’m pretty sure that transfolk are not the only people subject to her scorn.

[Michelle_G]

What a Biatch! Unhappy with everything in life I'm sure. Poor husband, I bet he can never please her.

[Tracii G]

She has an ugly heart more than likely.

[Abbey11]

Hi Tracii, sorry to hear of your experience but sounds like you handled it well and others were on your side

[IamWren]

i once had a guy say to me, "are you a dude" not in a bad way, or a fight or
flight situation, so i replied "i was just about to ask you that very same thing"
he stood there for about 10 seconds with his mouth wide open, then broke out
in laughter... we were fine after that. :)



I smiled and said good bye but FYI if you are going to wear sweat pants at least wear some SPANX please.
Her mouth dropped open and she stood there.Her husband said come on lets go you are embarrassing me.

These are epic responses. Handled so well. I would have been mortified and only much later would have thought of a response. You know kinda like Costanza did on Seinfeld when he thought up a day later, “oh yeah! Well the jerk-store called and they say they just ran out of you!”

Tracii and Paula... I bow down to your verbal smackdown skills.:worship:

[CynthiaD]

Good job Tracii. Well played.

[Anne K]

Tracii, you are a riot! I’ve experienced moronic behavior like that and you handled it well. Take the high ground and leave people like that in the dust

[FrannGurl]

Some people are just not happy with themselves so they take it out on others.
You handled to great and probably better than I would have .. Nice going!

[Rogina B]

Probably the lack of Spanx/sweatpants comment will bother her the most for a while !

[Leslie Langford]

Well played, Tracii! - being that quick on your feet (so to speak ;)) with such such an apt and well-deserved rejoinder is a true talent. :GD: :^5: :worship:

It is also a timely lesson for the rest of us here...we all need to have a repertoire of appropriate comebacks and well-aimed zingers at our disposal that we have honed and rehearsed beforehand, and that we can call upon at a moment's notice when the situation merits it.

Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and genders. "Making nice" does not work with them. All they understand is being hit square on the head with a 2X4 (figuratively speaking, of course). :sad:

[Aunt Kelly]

Thanks for sharing this, Tracii.
Two things jumped out at me. First was the perfect way you handled this, taking the high road until you were confronted directly by the boor. Well done. Second, and rather more significantly, was the fact that the boor was the one that stuck out in polite society. Yes, there will always be a**holes, but we are not the reason they are what they are, and if we act accordingly, the decent people tend to recognize that ...and act accordingly.

Hugs,


Kelly

[karrin]

To you Tracii G, a "salute" I don't think I would have had the intestinal fortitude :) again I say good for you. be safe Karrin

[Tracii G]

She took it to the point where I had to do something.
Running was not an option so it was time to "not be nice".
I do think she was expecting me to act like a guy but when I made the huge sweep with my hand in an "Oh no you didn't just say that" gesture she knew something was different about me.
He husband and daughter had that look like they had been in that situation more than once and I truly feel bad they have to deal with her.
They both seemed to be nice people so I didn't want to bring them into the situation.
I wouldn't call it quick wit but more an honest reaction to what I was looking at.
I doub't anyone could practice how to respond to people like this.

[Lana Mae]

Perfect, Tracii! Hugs Lana Mae