CD and stress

[sarah_hillcrest]

Maybe one of the first times I saw CD in media when it wasn't just a slapstick joke was the movie Ed Wood. If I am remembering correctly as Ed's life and career go more and more off the tracks he has a harder time controlling his desire to cross dress. I've also heard of people saying that CD'n helps them settle down and deal with stress. I seem to have the exact opposite response.

The last couple weeks have been stressful, nothing bad has happened, no crisis, just lots of deadlines and things getting piled up on the back burner. A few weeks ago I thought about dressing all week, and was super excited for my Sunday morning alone time. Last Sunday I was pressed for time and while I did get dressed I wasn't really into all that much. Today I was actually dreading it. All week I'd had no real thoughts about it. It seems like my response to stress is to be serious and masculine. This morning I put it off for awhile and considered just not doing it. Then there was this debate in my head. Do I want to or do I not and why. After thinking about it for a bit I decided to just put on a bra and see where it went. 30 minutes later I was doing my makeup.

I felt great afterwards and couldn't figure out why I was resisting. In some ways I think its a good thing, I don't suffer dysphoria really and my need to dress seems to be easily suppressed when more important issues are pressing.

Does anyone experience the opposite, where your response to stress is a stronger need to dress?

[Robin777]

When I get stressed at work, I cannot wait to get home and dress. I use dressing as my way to deal with the stress. It calms me down and works better than a beer after work.

[Jaylyn]

I've used CD to relieve stress as it usually makes me forget and the s.tress and move into a peaceful relaxing mode. It's funny that sometimes I can just slip into a sift dress and feel relaxed and stress free. The older I get though the less stress I'm having. I've wondered if the retirement life is just not as stressful also.

[Sami Brown]

When I plan to stay home, dressing reduces my stress. When I plan to go out, my stress goes up rather than down. I am working toward getting used to going out, so that it at least doesn't increase stress.

Sami

[Jaymees22]

I definitely dress to reduce stress, but like you I sometimes don't feel the urge to do it. Then I decide I better dress because who knows when the next opportunity to do it will arise. If I dress whether I'm in the mood or not I always feel better for having done it even if for just a short time.

[Tracii G]

No real stress in my life but some days I just don't fool with make up or go out in 100% girl mode.
Having to actually go to a function in 100% girl mode the stress of finding the right outfit or shoes/boots makes it a chore.
After I'm dressed and made up I'm fine.

[Becky Blue]

Sarah I am like you, when I'm busy and stressed she goes away. I sometimes think that perhaps I need Becky time when everything is going so well that I can really enjoy her as much as possible. i do have times of GD but its not connected to my stress levels at all.

[Leann_M]

The desire to dress definitely increases when i get stressed. There's just something relaxing about slipping into a dress and a pair of heels after a tough day.

[Natasha V]

Yes Stress is greatly reduced after a nice dress up and relax mode, I always look forward to my time time my wife agrees 100%...

[Christina89]

Lately I've been having rough nights at work and when I get home from work I take a quick shower to relax and then throw on my panties And pajama shorts and top and distress that way as well. I use crossdressing as one of my biggest destressor.

[Isabella Ross]

Best stress reliever in the world! One of the most amazing aspects of being the way I am. So clearly obvious to me, and my wife, who will often suggest to me, if I'm clearly under pressure or being a jerk for any reason, "I think it's Isabella time, don't you, hon?"

[Charlotte7]

I don't really do stress, not too often anyway. But, when I sometimes do get into a stressful situation, with another male, it has to be with a male, I sometimes find myself thinking, "Well things maybe as you think they are, or maybe they're as I think they are, but, when I get home I'm going to put on my favourite dress and relax. You, won't. You'll be left just fuming about this all night." So, I suppose. yes, sometimes it's a pressure valve for me.

[Laurana]

You can't use the movie Ed Wood as a good indicator of how stress made the man dress more. In order to do that you need to watch "Glen or Glenda". It was more or less a documentary of his life.

But I do think that if you are so used to doing one thing then don't do it for a while you will get stressed.

[Harriettes]

When I get an anxiety attack putting on a bra works better and faster than xanax. I calm down and the stress and fear disappear.

[sometimes_miss]

Growing up in western culture, from the moment we're self aware we're told that wearing girls' clothes or behaving in any way like a girl is the most terrible thing we can do. So it's no surprise that deep in our subconscious lies a constant feeling that we're not supposed to. And much of the time, we don't even know we're repressing it, until too many other things overwhelm our ability to ignore the desire, and it comes on with a vengeance.
Much the same as you, when I'm busy doing something, a chore at work, driving, cooking, my mind is focused on other things so the crossdressing genie stays quiet and lets me do what I have to do. In that way, 'stress' of needing to do some task takes priority over the need to think about who and what I am.
Dreading it? Of course. None of us wants to admit to ourselves or anyone else, that we can't 'be a man' and hold back desires we have that aren't approved by society; crossdressing is 'bad', after all, so we should be able to be a man and not do it, right? Of course. That's what everyone will tell you. Self control, that's what being a responsible man is all about. And giving in to a bad behavior would be admitting to ourselves and everyone else that we're not responsible men. That's what we have to live with every day of our lives, as crossdressers, the knowledge of how everyone else will consider us as irresponsible men with no sense of self control. So we even treat ourselves that way, and hide it away into the back of our minds, hoping it will just go away.
And sometimes, for a while, it does. I went about ten years while the crossdressing genie went into hibernation of sorts. I thought it was gone.
Nope.
Still there. And eventually, when my mind was overwhelmed by so many other stressors, the subconscious desire I had been keeping held back for all those years came up front and center, where I couldn't ignore it anymore.
THEN is when dressing up was at least de-stressing because it was at least one thing that I could remove from all the tasks my mind had to deal with.
In a similar way, the very act of dressing up as a girl, allowed me to focus on that, as it wasn't something I could do on automatic pilot like all the rest of the simple things we do every day. So that, too, pushed all the other troubles out of my mind for a while, as I focused on the girl clothes, the sight of them, the sensation of them on my skin, arranging them, focusing on how to move a little differently when wearing them, the sight of the different accessories, the slight jingle of the dangling earrings, the charm bracelet, how I had to walk a little differently in the girl shoes. The constant movement of my now long hair, swishing in my vision, brushing against my neck and shoulders, little frequent movements to remove it from in front of my face and my eyes.
It all kept the mind busy so I wasn't focusing on my problems. As long as I stayed in this condition, focusing on all sorts of girl behaviors, reading the girl websites, shopping sites, reading girl young adult fiction, my male life was sort of on 'suspend' until I actively decided to go back to it eventually.
And then, back as a male, of course the shame would come on, realizing that I had once again failed in my responsibility to NOT do the bad thing, the terrible thing, of allowing myself to be the girl that I subconsciously so much wanted to be. And that's where the stress comes in again.

There's no escaping it. We're damned if we do, and damned if we don't.

All we can do, is do what feels right, and hope we can get past all the hurdles of feeling bad about things that we now know are harmless. And wonder when society will finally come around and realize the same thing. For many of us in our upper years, it won't happen soon enough to make a difference; because we can't escape how we grew up, and all the feelings that are so much a part of who we are.

I like to think that I've gotten past it; that I don't feel the guilt about it. And consciously, at least, for the most part, I have. But there still remains the knowledge that probably everyone around me wouldn't understand. The few might tolerate it, and many would not care either way as long as I didn't involve them in my life. But like so many other NIMBY situations, I'm not the type that people anxiously want to bring into their lives.
And that is stressful, too.