Desperate times....desperate measures

[natalie edwards]

As they say "there but for the grace of God...."
The other day my wife ran out of makeup remover so I gave her mine. She's also been using my nail glue. That's fine I just asked that she replace it before Saturday night/Sunday morning when I'll need it again.
So me having worked today and having her truck she waited for me to get home before going out to the store. So she leaves and I'm in the house half asleep on the coach when she calls me on my phone to tell me there's a guy in a van parked in front of her that just opened the side doors and threw a pile of clothes on the floor. She said he's in his underwear wearing fishnets and high heels!
Wait, what?! OK.
So I go outside and see a pile if women's clothes and a few pairs or shoes on the sidewalk. I look in the van and see that someone is lying down in the backseat with their legs on the front seats. Legs in black fishnets and and black suede pumps. Hmm....my first thought is a guy banging a girl but my wife said it was a guy wearing that. So I bang on the window and see the legs disappear into the back of the van.
So I bang louder! I'm not sure who else is in there. Finally he tries covering himself in a man's coat but you could see white lace panties, a bra, a halter top and the fishnets and heels. I asked him what was he doing and he said nothing. I asked who else was in the van? He assured me he was alone but I looked thru it anyway. I told him to pick up all this shit and don't throw your clothes on the floor. He insisted they weren't his. I could see the fear in his eyes and started to feel bad for him. At this point my wife was waiting in the truck for me so I told him listen buddy I don't care what you're doing. I understand you have no where else to dress and you probably got the clothes from the garbage or a clothing bin in a local shopping center. But just don't leave a mess here and don't attract attention to yourself. He thanked me got out in his mismatched getup and picked everything up and sped off.
On the way to store to ironically replace the items I would need to dress, my wife was like what's wrong with these people? I can't believe it! Blah, blah, blah... So I said listen he has no where else to go.He was alone and not bothering anyone and sorting thru what did and didn't fit. Besides I think those little black suede booties would fit you! She laughed and said that's ok ....
I felt bad for the guy and still do. He almost shit himself in fear and embarrassment. I almost felt like giving him some makeup I no longer use. LOL!

[Micki_Finn]

I understand where your sympathy comes from, but dumping garbage in front of your house is just discourteous no matter what it is. There really is no excuse for that. It’s not like it’s hard to find a dumpester or something.

[Dana44]

I aggree that dumping stuff in front of your house is bad. I would not feel sorry for him though.

[natalie edwards]

I was actually more concerned with whether he had someone in the van against their will. There's a lot of young kids around.
Yes I know! I shouldn't think that way! We're not all deviant perverts snatching up kids in vans but....I just had to see it for myself. It would always bother me if I didn't check. Yes double standard. Maybe it's not right but I'm sure if a non-crossdresser stumbled upon this it would've involved the police.

[Lana Mae]

Kudos, Natalie! I think you handled that very well! Hugs Lana Mae

[natalie edwards]

Thanks Lana Mae
I must admit my first reaction was what size are those black booties and silver pumps? LOL!

[Tracii G]

I would have done as you did I'm sure

[MindiB]

Wow Natalie you did what you thought was right and got in the truck with your wife cracked a joke and life goes on.

[Charlotte7]

Well, I don't know if it's an 'over the pond' thing or me in particular thing,and I can only base my thoughts on the story as told by natalie. But, I don't think that you handled this at all well. I'm not excusing the guy's behaviour, but your story tells us little of him. What we do see is that you appear to have been aggressive to another TG person, by, at the very least, banging on his van, invading his personal space and insisting that he put himself in a position, (getting out of the van in mismatched clothes), in which he was clearly uncomfortable. And you did all of this, whilst your wife was heading off to the store, to replace supplies for your own TG self. Well, if you can't see a certain hypocrisy with your actions then I'm surprised. In your later post, you attempt to justify that you only wanted to see in the van in case he had taken a kid. I'd agree, possible but not likely. Remember, the bathroom debate. Remember how we're always telling society that we should be allowed to use the ladies room because as TG people we're not interested in assaulting women in there, all we want to do our business in as quiet a way as possible and then, be on our way. We're always saying how statistics show, that TG people are very, very, rarely the cause of an assault on a woman, and never in a ladies room. I'm not trying to excuse this guy's behaviour, littering, fly-tipping, call it what you will, is a social menace and annoys me greatly. Dressing in an inappropriate manner or place is never likely to assist the furtherance of the TG cause, and the man did deserve to be called out, and warned even as to how his actions might lead him in to a dangerous position and cause more trouble for him than he could have imagined. All of this could have been done, is a far less confrontational manner, by gaining trust, by talking to him, by advising him, and in doing so, you could have inspected the inside of his van with his tacit permission. Instead, he learned nothing, other than what he is doing only leads to more rejection and intolerance. And from someone who is TG themselves. If we can't accept our own, if we can't go that extra mile to help someone who is obviously desperate, when they are one of us, then why should we begin to expect that society as a whole will adapt and change to accommodate us?

[DaisyLawrence]

Charlotte makes some very valid points, however, putting the crossdressing issue aside, what makes me absolutely mad is littering. I would have a go at anyone who I see dumping litter, of whatever kind, for others to have to clear up. Why not just put it in a bin? I would have no interest in what he is doing in the van, that is no-ones business but his, but I would have confronted him about the dumping.

[alwayshave]

Natalie, You handled well. We all understand the need to dress, but it should be done in a way that protects other's rights, in your case your property.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Well Done Natalie. We have all experienced something akin to "van man's" predicament: no place to express ones self. However, Parking your vehicle in front of a residence, creating an eyesore by leaving trash on the ground and creating a feeling of unease in bystanders (Natalie's wife) is NOT acceptable behavior!

"Invading his personal space", as one poster stated, is a poor attempt to excuse another's bad behavior. Being that the van was parked on a public thoroughfare, the occupants are expected to behave in a manner acceptable to the public eye. Or is any behavior acceptable as long as one is in their own vehicle, or home?

[S. Lisa Smith]

I don't want to get into an argument about ways to handle things. I will observe that this all happened very quickly and that hindsight is a wonderful thing. The bottom line is that the person in the van should have gone someplace more discreet and should not have dumped a bunch of stuff on someone's lawn/sidewalk. What if someone else was in the van and in distress? The odds may be very small, but stranger things have happened. Perhaps someone was getting raped...You can't equate going to the bathroom which is a private space, to doing what appears odd in public. Dressing in a van isn't that odd, but dumping stuff out of your van, sitting like this "I look in the van and see that someone is lying down in the backseat with their legs on the front seats. Legs in black fishnets and and black suede pumps. " is.

[Ressie]

It sounds like you were making assumptions. Assuming there was someone in the van with him that he was banging. You were also being invasive but you ended up being compassionate. I had a similar (but different) experience this year stopping in a neighborhood and being approached by someone that thought I was up to no good. I didn't like it.

[natalie edwards]

It's NYC 2 blocks off I95 in a residential neighborhood and van sitting there running for over an hour with Pennsylvania plates and a pile of women's clothes shoes and underwear thrown out by what appears to be a man. My wife thought man because of short spikey haircut. You decide what to do....I have no regrets. Re-read my post. It's starts off with there but for the grace of God meaning it could be me. It also points out the irony of where I'm headed and what's unfolding right in front of us. Do you think anyone else would've dialed 911 and reported a kidnapping or rape in progress? I have no regrets!

[Ressie]

It's NYC 2 blocks off I95 in a residential neighborhood and van sitting there running for over an hour with Pennsylvania plates

Thanks for adding more information Natalie. Those details make a big difference to me and I believe you reacted very well to the situation.

[Sidney]

Natalie, this person's actions were totally unacceptable and some type of action needed to be taken. However you did put YOURSELF and YOUR WIFE in a possibly dangerous situation by walking up to a van and banging on the window. You had no idea if the individual/individuals were TG or straight and quite frankly that doesn't matter. If he would have had a gun and panicked...........

[natalie edwards]

Yeah I don't worry about that....

[Aunt Kelly]

Whew! That was close. I was beginning to worry that I wasn't going to get my weekly dose of weird news. This one certainly qualifies. BTW, I think you handled the situation pretty well.

[docrobbysherry]

Brings to mind the fact that a number of dressers r "forced" to make their living dangerously via prostitution. I say forced because they r poor and seem to have no others sources of income. :sad:

I met a pro trans hooker at a T convention in Vegas. She made an ok living and hadn't had serious problems with her clients. She was a tall woman with an impressive set of implants and omplained of how she wanted to have SRS. For which she had a sugar daddy who would pay. But, couldn't because she was afraid of losing all her clientel. After surgery all she would have to offer was what every other call girl in Vegas had!:eek:

[Teresa]

Natalie,
Very sad story, to think the guy was that desperate , OK he might have been drinking but what was going through his head to try and come out in that way.