Another First

[Fiona123]

Driving home from a therapy appointment today en femme/miad. I knew that I needed to stop along the way and buy dog food. So I walked into the pet food store in a skirt, bra, nylons Etc. No one said a thing!

[AmyVanessa]

That is awesome. I'm glad it went well for you!

[Sami Brown]

Very brave, Fiona! It appears your therapist is helping.

I love stories of successes like this!

Sami

[karenph]

You showed great courage. Often it is not the comments but the looks that can spoil the experience.

[IleneD]

Bless your heart, Fiona.
Odd how one can get quite a thrill from something as ordinary as stopping by the pet shop. It's almost like becoming an entirely new and different person, and you have to learn, re-do and casually master the small things of daily life.

[Fiona123]

So yesterday I posted about going into a pet food store en femme right after my therapy appointment. What I didn't say in the post because I didn't have time was that immediately after my therapy appointment before going to to per food store, I used a woman's restroom. The building where the Therapy Clinic is located is in an office tower, the clinic is on the first floor. I know I had a drive ahead of me and wanted to use the bathroom before I got into the car. The single-use restroom was occupied so I found regular restrooms nearby. There was a men's and a woman's. Dressed as I was I said to myself what the heck and went into the women's. It was empty. I sat down and did my business. And as I was putting my coat on to leave a woman came in to use and adjacent stall. I was absolutely terrified. I put on my coat and got the heck out of there ASAP.

[Stacy Darling]

Hi Fiona,

A similar situation was had by me on a park bench on Tuesday and was discussed in session today. For me it seemed that I had momentarily lost my confidence and was questioning who and what I was again. That was me though. It's worth a mention in your next session as it shows more about how you're thinking!

Women in toilets ARE scary though!!! :heehee:

Stacy!

[Lana Mae]

Nice step, Fiona! Surprising how the little things feel so good! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stacy Darling]

NICE !!!

Makes me happy to hear that you had such a good experience!

I'd rather go for pet food or to buy a paper than go to a 5 star restaurant dressed at present as it's in my comfort zone. Sounds like you were in your zone today Fiona.

So, when are we going to that Drag show together?

Stacy!

[Krisi]

If you look like a woman, you really shouldn't be using the men's restroom so the women's would be the logical choice. If you're dressed partially as a woman but look like a man, that puts you in an awkward position. You could have waited for the single user restroom.

In most cases, there won't be a problem but you never know what sort of nut case you will meet in public and what he or she might do.

[Helen_Highwater]

Using the ladies is perhaps one of the most stressful things we encounter especially in the early part of our dressing out and about. Sharing that space does bring us potentially into close contact with GG's. Even if you're presenting fully enfemme being in that shared space places a great strain on your ability to stay calm and act normally and not behave like a naughty child who's been caught out doing something wrong. Being able to maintain your composure and not rush out head cowed is perhaps one of the most difficult bridges to cross.

[Krisi]

On the other hand, it seems like some sort of trophy to some crossdressers. We've even had photos posted by some of us in the women's restroom.

Personally, I think that's wrong and disrespectful to women.

[Stephanie47]

Using a restroom is probably the most stressful issue confronting cross dressers. There is always the possibility of confrontation with the ill informed. There are some gorgeous women on this site, and, then there are people like me.....200 pounds, six foot and very masculine face. I would hate to have a confrontation with anyone eventhough in Washington State the law is on my side. When I do intend to venture out totally en femme it is always a day with a lot less coffee drinking. I'd be waiting to use the private single person restroom if available.

[Rachael Leigh]

Even as I am going about nearly full time I still think about it when I need to go
But I just think to myself, I’m presenting as a women so I’m going to the ladies room.
The key is makeup your mind and just go in, don’t look as if your doing something wrong act normal
and if you see another gg all should be fine
Rachael

[Pat]

Fiona -- it takes a while to get comfortable with using the ladies room (I'm willing to trust your judgement that it was the right place for you to be.) But it follows the same rule that all interaction with the public follows: if you believe it's OK for you to be there, they will believe it's OK for you to be there. I've had some great conversations in ladies rooms -- none of which were about gender.

[kimdl93]

Despite the attempts some policial movements to legislate bathroom use, I’ve found most people could care less. In fact, I can’t think of a single time when anyone cared which bathroom I used while en femme. Perhaps this his explains why the bathroom bill failed so completely in Texas. No one but a few extreme politicians wanted it or for that matter cared.

[AllieSF]

On the other hand, it seems like some sort of trophy to some crossdressers. We've even had photos posted by some of us in the women's restroom.

Personally, I think that's wrong and disrespectful to women.

Why is that wrong and disrespectful of women? Women take selfies in restrooms all the time. Is that disrespectful. The reason for the selfies is not to show someone you are there but usually to show what one is wearing or how they look at that moment. I have done that before for those same reasons.

Fiona, yes, the first times can be scary. Over time with more time out in the real world dressed as a woman, you will become more comfortable with the whole situation and then when you use the women's restroom you will know and feel like that is exactly where you belong at that moment to do your business and touch up your makeup. It really does get easier over time.

PS: Itis not some type of trophy, but rather a milestone for some as they start to use the appropriate restroom when out dressed.

[kimdl93]

I’d strongly disagree with the notion that using the woman’s restroom is in any way disrespectful, in any way represents a trophy. I think that feeds into the several very wrongheaded notions behind bathroom bills.

It’s simply a matter of answering natures call in a facility that matches ones presentation. I would feel awkward, out of place and potentially threatened if I were to use a men’s bathroom while dressed as a woman.

[Fiona123]

If Krisi meant that "taking a selfie" in a woman's restroom is disrespectful, I would tend to agree with that. Certainly a trans woman just using a woman's restroom is not disrespectful in my opinion.

It was not a trophy moment for me. There I was bladder full, female from the neck down (i was wearing lipstick), men's room on the left women's room on the right and I made a spur-of-the-moment decision. I'm not sure it was the right decision. As I come out more and more anticipate I will have to get used to using womens restrooms.

[Becky Blue]

Firstly Fiona congratulations on your outing, you go girl!! Secondly I presume you had something on over your bra :)...

Thirdly re the bathroom issue I don't think there is any set and fast 'rule' for behavior. If I am dressed as a woman i use the woman's bathrooms. I have done so in Australia and the USA and never any problem... at times I have been very quiet and respectful at other times women have been very friendly and we have spoken and I really enjoyed the occasion. I think its about being very aware of where you are and who is there and how they react.