Purged 99% of lady things.

[Alice Torn]

Several weeks ago, I took three boxes and five bags of Alice things to a charity store, because i do not wear most of the things, and am trying to get rid of most stuff in my apartment, and simplify life, and have less. Not easy in America, where most have way to much stuff of all kinds. i have only two dresses now, one pair of heels, one wig, no purses, and several pairs of P.H.m Several pairs of panties, and 2 girdles. Dressing up had take n too much control of my life, and i had become even more an isolated loner. I went out in public a few months ago, for several hours, and decided i have done enough with the dressing as Alice. I may have a hip replaced soon, and having memory loss pretty bad. I think that very tough times are ahead, too. Personal issues, too with my male side conflicting with crossdressing. I speak only for me , and my personal situation. I feel that my male side will be much more needed and necessary, in the very difficult times, and disasters ahead with weather, and other harsh things. Just me sharing my world some. I have seen the natural love and respect in the USA between men and women vanishing fast, and i have been rejected so much , and had my heart busted so often, that i see little hope of ever experiencing a good relationship or marriage with a GG. A very jaded time, where love is vanishing.

[IamWren]

Minimalism as a movement and lifestyle choice is picking up momentum across the country but it is fighting a rather steep uphill battle here in America. Consumption and the keeping-up-with-Joneses mentality that has been pushed by retailers and other corporations selling their wares makes it difficult for many to decide to live with less, myself included.

At least I have recognized it and am trying to shift my mentality toward purging much of my material stuff (not just CD items) to live more simply.

I wish you the best Alice and hope your surgery goes very well and your recovery easy.

[Jaylyn]

Alice I'm sorry for the physical troubles you are having, I'm saying a little prayer for you and the the hip replacement. I also believe that downsizing is what I'm calling my purging from now own. I want to keep my kids from knowing and also my wife and I have way too many material things. Sue you are right that the minimalism has its place especially as we start to age.

[Alice Torn]

Yes, Boy named Sue and Jaylyn, I have another guy friend that is a minimalist like me. I never had ant chance for marriage, and i do not know of any GG's near my age who want a CD, or a guy with little, and wanting to get rid of a lot of stuff, so As an old bachelor, with no hope for having a mate, i want as little as possible that i do not really need anymore. I have three cats now, and they don't mind. Just two dresses. I have NEVER had a desire to keep up with the Joneses, and like having an old car, and older stuff. IO still have too many clothes of all kinds, too many books, too many tools, too many VHS tapes. And, i have many radios, old cassettes, old albums, lots of odds and ends i need to get rid of.

[Meghan4now]

Good for you Alice. It may be tough, but do what you need to do. Your mental well being is worth the price. I'll say a prayer for you.

[Tracii G]

Alice you do what you feel is right and we will support you all the way.
I hope things go much better than you expect.
Keep positive and if you need to vent come back here because there will always be a shoulder to lean on.

[Tracy Irving]

I think it is awesome to downsize. I do it myself from time to time.

Then I hit the thrift stores and find tremendous deals on great skirts.

It is a vicious cycle.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Alice;

It's a brave thin sharing your story with everyone. I would also encourage you to make sure you have a few people to check in with you on a regular basis. Most police departments will do a wellness check if a friend or relative asks them too. Be brave and continue to post.

[Jean 103]

You do what is best for you.

Thank you for sharing.

Hope you have a better New Year.

You take care love Jean

[docrobbysherry]

Hang in there, Alice. I hope things improve for u in 2018.

Meanwhile, I feel sorry for any CD who purges. To me, it's like a model railroader stuck with only a small train going around in a 3' circle!:sad:

[Shely]

Alice, We all hope for and wish you all the best in the coming year. Please keep in touch with us in as much as you can. WE are all routing for you and I am sure most will say a prayer for you. I think most of us, speaking for myself anyway, could do with a little of downsizing. some 70 dresses is several too many.

[ToniG]

We will pray that things will get better for you , Alice. Been thru serious downsizings, and purgings. Suffered a loss of a home and storages in 2014. Hurts some , but we don't realize how many "things" we have until we have to downsize in a hurry. Hope to avoid any more purgings , as the costs of replacing stuff is getting old. Had med issues a while back , and packed items away w/o tossing any. Now have them back up in the closet again. just enough to get by with occasional outings. Since I do yardsales here-have two racks for clothing,belts,purses. Tables for shoes I'm not keeping. We do try to get $$ out of things b4 donating any. Happy New Year. Toni G..

[Diane Taylor]

First of all, I wish you the best regarding your hip replacement. Surgery of any kind is never a good thing. As for purging, I purged my fem things once shortly after coming out. Within two weeks I was right back buying things and haven't ever purged again. I feel that it's counterproductive to my well being. I've never been a hoarder of any kind so I've never had to downsize anything but it's pretty much a known fact that clutter and too many "things" can actually cause stress and WE in this community certainly don't need any more of that. Good luck with the downsizing.

[kimdl93]

Downsizing makes sense at our age. I’ve unloaded anything I can’t stow away in my 27 foot RV. And like you, I’m pretty much resolved to complete the course without another SO. I’ve been married for 35 of the past 42 years. That’s probabl enough. Solitude has its virtues.

[Tina_gm]

Having femininity, enjoying dressing up can be very confusing and conflicting. And if you are going through rigorous times in life and there is a significant part of you that is male as is your birth gender, it's a smart move on your part to keep your focus. Having said that I'm glad you didn't purge all, as there may be that time to put on those things you have left, and that's ok too.

[Rhonda Darling]

Alice:

Don't abandon us and we won't abandon you. You've been a mainstay around here and despite your lessening participation, you are well remembered. Once one of us, always one of us. I know you've had family issues, live in a remote/isolated area (meaning none of us nearby), but that you have a great perspective and clear sense of self and have done your best to CD despite circumstances.

As we enter 2018, I wish you the best of a new year and truly hope that things don't play out as dire as you portray. I know that whatever life hands you will be dealt with as the dignified lady that you are at your core.

All my best,
Rhonda

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Happy New Year Alice, I hope the future will be a lot less bleak than you imagine.

Hugs and best wishes, Nikki

[Melanie Moxon]

Sometimes its tough to let go, sometimes it isn't.

Over the past few years I have been slowly getting rid of stuff that I no longer use or want. I had a nice R/C car that hadn't turned a wheel in 3 years, so I made sure it all worked and put it on eBay, it had gone within a week. I had a load of shirts I didn't wear; they went to the charity shop. Sometimes it can quite liberating :)

[Alice Torn]

Actually, i am doing much better than a few months ago. Accepting i am almost 64, getting older, knowing we all will go the way of all the earth one day, when we don't know. I have a beautiful purple dress with jacket , and one LBD. enough!

[Jane G]

Purging is not something I have ever had to do. Growing older can suck sometimes, as I have also discovered this year. Good luck for 2018.

[Ressie]

I've been wondering why you haven't posted in a while Alice. Hope things get better for you rather than worse.

[Stephanie47]

I hope your new year goes well with surgery and living the life you want. I think people in general tend to accumulate too much. My house is packed with 'stuff.' We told our kids this past Christmas season that we do not want or need anymore 'stuff.' My son looked heartbroken when I said I was going to start liquidating some of my collections of 'stuff.' I told him you better hope your mother and I don't die together. At least if one predeceases the other the survivor will get rid of the others 'stuff.' We've been passing off 'stuff' to a group that recycles unwanted 'stuff' before it goes to Goodwill. A therapist I see for reasons others than gender issues (combat related) told me it is called "retail therapy." I'm just happy I can afford my "retail therapy." I have nine pairs of Vanity Fair panties arriving in the mail this week. I have no will power at all!!!!

[Julie Denier]

Best to you in the new year - be well ;)

[Becky Blue]

Best of luck Alice, hope you get the hip surgery soon, most people are much happier after the recovery

[Doaranna]

Purging, it is such a guilt act ... one that I have done on several occasions, and to this day regret each and every one. For me it is more than a simple downsizing, I wish that were the case. Over the years (as I purged) I come to realize more and more each time how desirous I am of my feminine side ... so in a way it is part of my feminine development! Anybody else feel the same?

[Brynna M]

Alice I know this is a cheap answer but that doesn’t make it wrong..... you sound depressed. It sounds like you have so tough days ahead but if your own mind is telling you to give up on joy and good days that is a bit of the “tough” you could do something about to lighten you load. Good luck. To me it sounds like you still have some life left in you. Don’t give up on it.

[Nicole Erin]

If we lived reasonably close, I could probably buy some of the cassettes and LP's if it were anything I liked.

As far as having "stuff", keep in mind that no one else really cares what "things" we own. Besides, buying too many "wants" eventually gets boring.
Remember during childhood when something new was exciting to get but when we get older and buy another "want", that rush just isn't there? I hate to admit this but even when I do find something interesting and buy it, no matter what it is, it is no more exciting than buying a dozen eggs or loaf of bread.

About presenting opposite of birth gender - Some do it part time, some live it full time. They both have this in common - eventually the novelty wears off. Most CD and TS or whatever TG often say that. yeah it is fun, cool, calming or whatever at first but then it just becomes normal life. We end up missing the novelty. New clothes or another letter or whatever "firsts" are gone. I live this full time and honestly I kind of long for the days when going out fully dressed was a rush. Now it is like, "yeah whatever". I am guessing you presented as female more often than not? (I kind of hate labels so avoiding those)

As far as relationships, they just are not what they are cracked up to be. Part of the problem in even finding one is that many people tend to over-set their standards. Not everyone does this but there are a lot of would-be prospects who bring nothing yet want everything.

I do not know how true this is but someone once told me that as we age, our world gets smaller. The lady who told me that had to be at least in her 60's.

[Alice Torn]

Erin, In our generation, many GG's will die alone because their bars were set way too far, and required way too much.

[kimdl93]

As Nicole relayed , our lives can become smaller as we age. Its true for me, on a personal level, but professionally, the world still seems crowded. But to her point, as we age we don’t need quite so much. We can focus on the things we personally are interested in.

Alice, Like all of us, I know you have curiosity and interests that are boundless. As you look forward, imagine you’re freed
to explore all those subjects that you never found time for before.

Thats is my plan for the last third of my life. What came before be damned!

[Ineke Vashon]

Alice, I got twenty years on you, deal with some of the same issues. I also RV full time, which means limited storage and the often asked question: "do I really, really NEED this (insert name of product)?" And, yes, it can be painful to get rid of stuff I've had seemingly forever. Yet, after another donating trip to a Trift store or Goodwil, I know someone will be happy to find what I left. I live alone, no GG, no DADT, can do as I please. Lonesome at one end, liberating at the other. I've reached a somewhat pleasant, minimalist plateau. I own four mini skirts (ex-skorts), two peasant skirts, a couple of blouses, homemade boobs and, of course, colorful panties 24/7. That's all, and it is enough. Whenever I am home I switch to en femme as in MIAD, change into en homme going out (84 year old "ladies" don't look too good in mini skirts, LOL). I've reached a level of relaxation and acceptance. I hope this can work for you too.
Good luck with the surgery and stay in touch here.

Ineke

[Ressie]

I remember the good old days when I had a stash that fit into a small suitcase. I wouldn't say my life has become smaller 25 years later! I have many more possessions at 64 than I did at 40.

[JenniferR771]

I enjoy reading your comments, Alice. Getting rid of a few things is fine--just don't get rid of all your girly stuff. The way I see it is don't get rid of stuff--until--I run out of storage. True, I had to take a few things back to my favorite thrift store last month. But the girls there were nice about it as usual.

[Jill_cd]

Alice, I can feel some of your pain. I'm divorced (my dressing contributed to it) and live alone. I have family, but in other states. I go through mood swings. On one end, I love dressing and how it makes me feel and the other I'm a bit depressed and guilt ridden. I think that quite a few of us here go through or have gone through the same. Don't give up. Things may seem a bit bleak, but hopefully 2018 will be better. I wish you the very best.