My relations are right behind me totally

[Bobbi46]

Since starting my coming out last June and successfully overcoming everybody near me, I then in September told my gay nephew an his partner resulting in them both wanting to see me dressed but also telling me my house was for me to do as I wished.
Since then things have grown deeper with them all, Hugh both calls me his darling! but also the big thing is he now calls me Bobbi in cards and messages as does his partner. He has asked me go and stay with him and his partner in London but the big thing is that he wants to take Bobbi " out on the town" to eat and meet his friends, which I am planning to do some time this year.
All of this makes life feel so full and complete for me and also the feeling of hiding something is not there any more with them. I have made a resolution to at some point tell my son and daughter then there will be no secret keeping from any of my family, how I tell my son and daughter I still have to figure out, in choosing the right time or leave little hints around like lipstick on the mirror shelf in the bathroom, much to think about in this respect but i am firmly convinced that secrets only end in complications or something like that. I have had no complications so far at all with anybody.

[Sami Brown]

It sounds like you are off to a great start. Although I have not come out to my children, whenever I do it, it will be direct. Why hint rather than just getting courageous and getting it over, out in the open?

[Bobbi46]

Sami, true words indeed, courage is part of it the other is I am now divorced, living on my own in France, telling my son and daughter could I loose them? maybe/maybe not this is the only thing holding me back, do I tell and them and risk everything or do I leave things as they are? I know not

[Teresa]

Bobbi,
I looks like 2018 is the year it all happens , I would guess you never thought dressing this side of the channel would ever happen . London is a big place but what's the betting you bump into someone you know, we all know that coincidence can happen even the other side of the World.

You are faced with same question I've posed in Loved ones but my problem is finally breaking the news to my mother that I'm going to separate from my wife and to dress full time , I know this has to happen in the next few weeks.

I know your dilemma , you don't want to lose the contact with your son and daughter again . Which one would it be easier to tell first , perhaps the other option is tell one and let them pass it on the the other .

We could be in an interesting situation here if you come back to the UK later this year maybe I could be on your visiting list . it's only just over an hours run from London and less so by the train . What a twist of fate that would be .

P.S. Happy New Year , one way or the other we may see each other this year .

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Very good news about your nephew. I suggest you wait till after you've spent time with them en femme, so you will feel even more confidence than you already do. Your nephew would also be an excellent source of advice on how to deal with straight family members.

You could leave clues around, but I'm inclined to think honesty is the best policy.

[Bobbi46]

Teresa, No the thought had not crossed my mind, my nephew is most insistent that I should visit this year at some point.I think that at some point I will have to tell my son and daughter leaving one to tell the other might not work, I am not sure but telling has to be done to make my journey as regards to family and friends complete.
I will send you an email.
Nikki
I spent 2 days dressed with my nephew here so being dressed in front of my family is not a problem. Sure leaving hints around might not work and as you say honesty is the best way and I will find a way to tell them

[Pat]

I have made a resolution to at some point tell my son and daughter then there will be no secret keeping from any of my family, how I tell my son and daughter I still have to figure out, in choosing the right time or leave little hints around like lipstick on the mirror shelf in the bathroom, much to think about in this respect but i am firmly convinced that secrets only end in complications or something like that.

Hints are for chumps, sweetie (do they say that in France?) Just tell them. I can't count the number of people I've talked to who talk about all the "hints" they dropped, all the subtle stratagems, etc. that only lead to confusion and miscommunication. They raise anxiety rather than resolve it. Just tell them. ("You know those transgender people you hear about on TV / read about in the news? I'm one of them...")

[Bobbi46]

Pat, never was a truer word said, when I mooted the point a while ago about telling it was suggested to leave out hints but in the end I did not and just came out straight and told him actually only a couple of hours after he had arrived and it worked well as my thread has shown.
I will tell both of them, my daughter is due to visit soon at some point so she can be the first, oh yes and by the way I have some friends that do use the word chumps.
Lots of people talk of being honest and open and yes that is the best way to go, I will heed your advice carefully, thank you

[Kayliedaskope]

When in doubt, listen to Pat. As usual, she hits the nail squarely on the head.


Being an old dinosaur, my "hints" are about as subtle as tying a note to a brick and tossing it through a window. (I'm from Irish descent - wtf is this "subtle" thing? ;) ) Pick one of the two that you think would be the more understanding and have The Talk. It will at least pave the way for The Talk with the second one, as the first will probably say something about it.

[DaisyLawrence]

Bobbi, it is time.