Who's the women in your relationship?

[Maria 60]

We went south for a mini vacation, my wife was getting in bed and sees me dressed with a red teddy and stockings on. She stopped and looked at me with a disappointing look on her face, I asked her what was wrong. She said what a bad wife she is because I thought about bringing something sexy to bed and she didn't, it's like I'm the women in the relationship.
Well you know I liked to hear that and found it funny and told her not to worry as long as one of us remembered. After all I'm the only one who wears the skirts and pantyhose in the house.
Am I alone with this one or is anyone else the women of the house?

[Robertacd]

Over all I probably am, but you have to look at it from their perspective. They "are" women, so all those little things that we find special, is just life to them.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not a fan of “gender roles” in a relationship, so I don’t peg either of us as “the woman” because it’s not a useful descriptor or our relationship.

[Sandra_Dodds]

I have no doubt that I think far more often about surprising my wife by wearing sexy lingerie than she does. But being in a DADT relationship, that will only ever be a recurring thought.

[Steph_CD_62]

I dress more feminine around the house than my wife does.
My wife "fashion style" is more of the tom-boy look.

[2B Natasha]

Hate the title, but understand the intent. To that end.

I, in boy mode or girl mode am far more of the dresser upper in the house. I shop for it, buy it, give it and wear it. That is not to say she doesn’t wear it. But I buy it for her and wait till the moment strikes her.

[kimdl93]

I first took the title a completely different way, thinking ‘other than my old female dog,...no one’. But I get your meaning. I think I more and more was posturing myself as a woman in my former household, and it was one of the things leading to the end of the relationship

in reflecting on the paragraph above, the ‘error’ or at least one of many, was thinking that my wife was a frog in a pot...mindlessly accepting as the heat increased. Or perhaps the idea that if I take the cooking, laundry and vacuuming, I’m somehow entitled to be at least one of the women of the house.

The other, critical mistake was projecting my desires on her. Seeing her desires as an extension of mine. (I know. Empathy functioning at low levels)

what I missed...now rather obviously...was that she was strongly attracted to the physical,visual, tactile expressions of masculinity....the Viking...as she sometimes called me.

So how did I miss that? Well, simply because I was so f***ing self absorbed that I deluded myself into believing that what attracted me (turned me on), had the same effect on her. I had no attraction to male...hunky, muscular, stud...etc guys...and was/am today drawn to the kind of woman I’d would wish to be. And I lead myself to believe her desires were identical to mine. Du-oh!

[Dana44]

MY GF has said she has to be the boy of the house.

[Alice B]

It is a sharing of roles.I wear nightines to bed and my wife cotton PJ's. My wife never wears skirts, I do. I wear dresses, my wife seldom. But htese are simply inward expressions. Outward, she is a female and I am a male.

[Helen Waite]

My wife rarely wears nice dresses, and lingerie isn't happening, for either of us when together. DADT is the order of the day. What I wear on my rare own time matters not because she won't see it. Bedtime is purely m/f binary attire, and all sleep no play. We're merely closely attached roommates these days. :scream: :scream:

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm the Alpha and the Omega, the Male and the Female, the Yin and the Yang around here. It's just me to fill all the roles in this non-relationship household.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do have an adult son and his daughters here, but they are in their own world and except for eating my cooking and keeping me in my closet, don't play much of a part in my world.

[April Rose]

I've been trying hard, these days, to get outside the gender binary; so I'm just not going to go there.

[deebra]

Micki-Finn, then how would you describe your relationship? Maybe I can learn from your answer. Why does your SO accept and encourage you to dress and go out as two women?

[lingerieLiz]

My wife is always the woman in bed. I love it. Out of bed, while I dress fem I won't ever be able to out dress her. She has been revered by friends and business associates for her style and fashion sense. She amazes me that she tells me what to buy before it becomes popular.

[Rollermiss]

In our marriage my wife is the boss. She is definitely the woman. She is the lucky one who gets to wear dresses and skirts to work. While neither would work in my job. She has slightly more lingerie than me but I have more skirts. It balances out.

Kelsey

[Andrea Renea]

Definitely Andrea's better half. My wife is and always will be the woman in our relationship.

[Tina_gm]

A better selection of wording might be who is more feminine in the relationship? I don't think we are doing women any justice by thinking we are the woman in the relationship simply by how we dress.

[Tracy Irving]

I may wear women's clothing from time to time but my wife wears it all the time. I am a man and she is a woman. Putting on clothes doesn't change that. She wins the "woman in our relationship" by default.

[alwayshave]

The only time my fiancee has balked at my nightgown was when it was the same color as hers. Easily rectified with a different color nightgown.

[fly2188]

We both tend towards the more feminine side of the spectrum. In most ways she is more feminine, but in some ways I am more feminine.

[NancySue]

You are certainly not alone. I read your question to my wife for discussion. She agrees, there are many times I look like the woman of our house, especially when it comes to dresses, hose, heels, and underwires. However, when she goes out, she’s 100% woman. She dresses to the 9’s, having done some modeling, she still grumbles having to wear hose, heels, etc. which come off immediately when she walks in the front door. Casual dress is her mode. Mine is definitely more dress up. I wear hose most of the time and oft ask for her opinion of what I wear, as does she asks me. We have a great relationship which I hold dear and trustworthy.

[SherriePall]

Although my wife frumps around the house in jogging type clothes and I underdress as often as I can in a DADT situation, she is still the woman of the house (and my life). Just ask her.

[karrin]

A very nice article you wrote Kimdl93. I understand.
Hi-5's to you for your honesty, It's a refreshing quality these day's
be safe. Karrin

[sometimes_miss]

Isn't this kind of thing exactly what women have been fighting for, forever, the right to escape from being defined by their sex? Yet time and time again, they feel the need to do exactly that, whenever they feel like it.

[Beverley Sims]

We are both women when out but I still take a male type role in decisions.

I do have to work in a male occupation.

[docrobbysherry]

Like Sarah, I don't have an SO and live with my adult daughter.

But, unlike Sarah and many others here, I don't have a "female side", apparently! So, I think of Sherry in the 3rd person. Everything I do is from a masculine view point. And, the things that I do as her r completely different! As if done by a stranger.:straightface:

I'm not sure that makes any sense to anyone but me?:brolleyes:

[Denise S]

I would like to be the woman, but my wife is

[jennifer0918]

With your permission I would like to think it's me but real world would disagree.

[Aunty_Hazel]

Sherry, I know exactly what you mean.
I always think and speak of Hazel in the third person.

[Karen Lee]

Well in my house I’m the woman and that’s the way I like it. I do all the washing, ironing, house work have a wardrobe full of skirts dresses leggings and tops, my lingerie and make up drawers are both full to over flowing and it’s my sewing machine!... down side is I live on my own so guess there isn’t that much competition in my house ;-)

[kathtx]

Easy question: though neither my wife nor I fit into traditional gender roles, both of us are "the woman" in our marriage.

[Jaylyn]

My wife I the dresser upper in my house except when we have bad weather outside and we both just slouch out and vegetate as we call it. She is the one that is always buying the new styles of everything from purses to makeup. I on the other hand am lucky that when a new style comes out she gives me her old tops and purses and even has told me to look thru the things she is discarding to see if Jaylyn wants anything. Sounds like a great thing but since she has lost a bunch of weight on a diet she and I are on, the most of the tops and skirts she discards do not fit me as well.