Excitement! Disappointment!! Broken promises?

[JerseyGirlDonna]

The "Snow Cyclone" in NJ closed my office yesterday. What's a girl to do with a whole day to herself, LOL? I decided to try on some outfits to wear to a conference I'm attending in a few weeks. Well a few hours into my session, my daughter surprised me by coming home early from work. For the record, my wife is the only one in the family who knows but has no interest to ever see me dressed or hear about it. Fortunately I was in the bedroom and she saw nothing. In the past, moments like this would have panicked me, but I grow less and less concerned. Mind you, I'm not trying to be seen, but the prospect of being seen is less scary. Right now the only thing keeping me from going fulltime and/or initiating transition is the promise I made to my wife and family. But it's getting harder and harder.........

[Steph_CD_62]

My daughter knows about my dressing but has never seen me dressed. She always calls/texts before she just comes over so I can be dressed properly if she happens to brings her kids with her. I think my son knows, but he also calls/texts before he just shows up.

[kimdl93]

Is it the promise you made or the relationship that you value most. I’m sure its the latter. But people and relationships change. Perhaps it’s time to revisit the relationship and see if old promises need to be updated.

- - - Updated - - -

Is it the promise you made or the relationship that you value most. I’m sure its the latter. But people and relationships change. Perhaps it’s time to revisit the relationship and see if old promises need to be updated.

[Sarah Doepner]

A couple of things come to mind. First is you daughter may already know, maybe not, but I and many others here have discovered our little 'secret' isn't all that secret. That isn't a suggestion you should come out, it's just a warning that some day if you do the response may be "I was wondering when you'd tell me."

The other is Kim's suggestion that the topic shouldn't be closed off for all time. I agree the best thing is to keep the lines of communication open, particularly since you seem to be in a different place now than when you made that promise. Saying that's the only thing keeping you from going full time suggests you are going to eventually become much more frustrated and frustration almost always leads to poor choices. And choices that surprise the hell out of the person who didn't make the choice. You may need to have the talk again. And again as the situation changes along with your needs.