Here again

[Helen_Highwater]

In the last few months I'm found myself spending more time on this site and I began to ponder why. Was it as a reaction to, a symptom of withdrawal from my week spent fully enfemme and now having to make do with a few hours a week dressed but always confined to the house?

I suspect that plays a part but I'm more drawn to the idea it's because so many who put their thoughts here do so with such eloquence. Emotions are made real. Expressions of joy brought on by sometimes seemingly minor successes that have huge significance for that individual vividly transferred to the page. Messages of support freely given, thanks warmly offered, it's all here. To put it another way, it's a dam good read.

Sharing in other's success reminds me of my past. Where I once was. I'm also encouraged by those who've journeyed further than me leaving me inspired to get out there and "Fulfill my destiny".

There are folks on here that I've not yet met and may never have the opportunity to do so but I feel I know them just as if they were life long pen pals. Though their writings you get to know their personalities. We share each others ups and downs, sometimes literary swords are crossed but that's part of the toing and froing of this forum. Personalities exposed, souls laid bare. Opinions challenged.

And if I'm honest, there are times when I read a post of someone who's made that significant step forward who I may have advised in the past, I get a good feeling. Knowing just what that step involved inspires me to keep writing and sharing my experiences. I'm ever grateful to those who've supported me and look upon it as my duty to reciprocate.

So, what is it you come here for? What's the main thing(s) you get from coming here?

[Sarah Doepner]

Helen,

You cover so much of what draws me here as well. But I have selfish reasons to be here. It's much too easy to be so close to our own problems and perspectives that the obvious solution hides in plain sight. There is so much we share here that I often don't even need to post to find a thread that gets me thinking in new ways about something that has been rubbing me the wrong way or is so vexing I can't work around it.

I have a local support group where I can meet with others and a counselor I visit with from time to time, but those outlets and sounding boards are only available for a few hours a month. This forum is up and running all the time (Thanks mods and administrators! Many thanks). Perspectives range from curious and tentative to all-knowing and belligerent and every one of them is delightful in it's own way.

There is so much positive here found in the stories of first steps out to the confidence to post photos that it's easy to be inspired. There are also the accounts of pain and abandonment that remind us we are dealing with the reality of life in changing societies. While some of it is a repeat of things seen and done many times before, it's never mundane because it is so very real for the person making the post. Most of all, it's a constant source to remind me I am not alone.

[kimdl93]

I've gone full circle, finding this site in 2010 and rapidly discovered - or uncovered so much about myself. I was probably a bit euphoric with the rush of discoveries and emotions accompanying them, and moved farther and faster than my ex could handle. I heard, but didn't heed the warnings offered here, and plunged in, with predictable results. After 18 months of licking my wounds and denial of my nature, I found my way back here and have shared the long slow road of recovery with you very patient people.

So what is this place? Several things to me, including parts classroom, style guide and technique lab, coaching, cheerleading, therapy session and a comfortable place to meet and relax with people of common interest and experience. Combine all these things and you have a community that helps one understand and experience an aspect of humanity that has always been, was often taboo and now finally is growing in acceptance. I can't say if its "cause or effect", but I have been informed and shaped by the experience of being her for the past 8 years.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I can see that change in your comments over the time I've been on the forum and your thoughts are so well written now. It's hard to add anything to those words .

I didn't know what to expect from the forum , I was in a mess so I felt I had little to lose and join. It is easy to forget we are talking on an open forum , and it can be scary at first.

At the moment I'm still traveling on my road , as I do my questions change with that but there are still members who have been there already and are happy to pass on their experiences . I'm also glad I can also pass on to new members my experiences to encourage them to make the next step themselves .

[Jean 103]

Helen,

I understand and as you said, I have been there.

For me it was spending 8 days dressed when I attended Diva Las Vegas a few years ago.

Here again, yes I agree.

Here is different, where being different is normal, or something like that.

Why am I still here?

This is something I have asked myself many times. The short answer is I enjoy it, Identify with those here, and have formed an attachment to some. I feel their ups and downs.

I have a button on my phone that takes me here, wherever I am. So I quite often pop in for a few minutes when a have the time. There have been times when I have had tears streaming down my face, a friend will ask me what is wrong. I don’t try and explain, I just assure them that I am ok. It is just the way I am.

[Monique65]

For me, this site provides a wonderful and much needed sense of community. Sharing in the joys of other girls' accomplishments, empathizing with failures, and interacting with those of like mind all widen my own understanding of my self and aid me in realizing who I am. Having an understanding outlet in which to express my feelings offers me much solace and satisfaction. I am very grateful to be a member of this group, and am tremendously encouraged by the unconditional acceptance found here.

[Kiara]

I came to this site for advice, companionship of like minded people and learn from others life experiences. I have read so many stories of triumph, pleasure, pain, guilt and success here, and I feel a great sense of trust knowing others are sharing their heart felt stories with strangers and friends alike.

[DIANEF]

I can only echo what has already been said. Why am I here?, because I have found no better place to be. Helen, your post puts things in to words better than I ever could.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well for one thing I can identify will many of the people here. That does not mean I identify will ALL the people here because I don't, but compared to the random population, I have much more in common with many more people here. Other than that it is nice to be able to say 'I love that skirt' without someone thinking you are weird!

[Jackie7]

It's been years since I lived in England and I'm not likely ever to get to the Midlands again, but Helen I do feel I know you from your intelligent posts, and I guess that's why I keep coming back to this site, partly to keep up with the adventures of others, and partly to put my own adventures out there for this like-minded audience.

[Helen_Highwater]

Well for one thing I can identify will many of the people here. That does not mean I identify will ALL the people here because I don't.

Daisy,

That's one of the things I like. We share a common cause but sometimes differ in how to set about it. It's what makes putting a label on any of us nigh impossible.

I know my opinions won't suite everyone but I've learned that that's part of life and I just try to stay calm, carry on, and accept it goes with the turf.

[Beverley Sims]

Reinforcement of how I feel.