The girlfriend insists.

[Ericka_d]

I have been seeing my girlfriend for the past year. While she likes my girl side. She just sort of has a problem with the way I dress in a way. I dress for comfort. Jeans, boots, and a nice top. Pretty munch the female version of my male self. Just with heels.

This past summer she got me to go out. For the first time as a woman. So we could find a dress for me for a little vaction later down the road.

As we were looking. I was looking for ones that werent short or show my lack of clevege. As she says old lady dress. She was looking for some thing sexy. In the end we found a dress that didnt look to old lady, and sexy enough for her. That we both liked.

Well ever since then. She has been wanting to see my in a more sexier dress, and other clothing. While I can get were shes coming from. I am not sure i am ready to take that step yet. I have no problem with shaving body hair off. As i am adult and dont have to answer to any one. I am more worried about how I will look in the end.

[Mgreenva]

A lot of people on here wish they had your problem!

[RainbowDash]

I love to show off my feminine sexy side when I dress up, so this would not be a problem for me. In all honesty, I wish I did have a GF who was supportive of me being a crossdresser. I'm sure she could think of a million things I could buy, and I'd have someone to go shopping with. Good luck whatever u decide to do.

[audreyinalbany]

that's a hard life you got there, girlfriend...why not just put y0urself in your girlfriends hands and see what look she comes up with?

[Ericka_d]

I didn't mean to make it sound like i was complaning. I also know how hard it is for many people. To find a woman that is like mine. So i just want to clear the air about that.

As for the girl firend. I know she wont dress me like a street walker, but she forgets one thing. I am lacking breast, and what she wants to see me in. Would require more then padding. Then when i remind her of that. She seems to get disappointed.

[deebra]

BREAST FORMS....BREAST FORMS....BREAST FORMS

And my Doctor Fee is $185.00
My prescription is The Breast Form Store, on line of course.
B's make you pass easily
C's make you look and feel more womanly
D's makes you want to never take off your bra!!!

[Helen_Highwater]

I am lacking breast, and what she wants to see me in. Would require more then padding.

Erica,

Err, join the club. There's not many of us who have breasts but it's amazing what can be achieved with a little tugging and squeezing. Why not buy some cheap forms off eBay, if you're a light frame I'd go for a B cup, if not a C. Give it a go. I'm sure your GF can sort out a suitable bra with you. If you don't try you'll never know. If the dress is a bit too racy, a bit too revealing a neckline then there's the opportunity to shop for something more suitable.

Having such a supportive GF is a gift. Embrace the opportunity or one day you'll be thinking, "I wish I'd....".

[Rogina B]

Having such a supportive GF is a gift. Embrace the opportunity or one day you'll be thinking, "I wish I'd....". Helen is correct in saying this !

[Micki_Finn]

I’m curious, does she dress on the sexy side too, or is she on the conservative side herself?

[Jaylyn]

Enjoy what you have there. You have a diamond in the rough that with encouragement could help you in every way you can imagine. I dress for fun and the relax net it gives me and to satisfy something I can't really explain. Be truthful with your girlfriend and tell her how far you want to go and just a thought you might let her read this forum and she will probably understand you better. JMO

[Sami Brown]

I don't think you should be forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, you should ask yourself whether it is only fear that is holding you back, rather than just a simple style preference.

If it is just fear, you can face it and overcome it. It doesn't mean you have to go as far as your girlfriend wants right now. You can take smaller steps, assessing each as you go along.

You can also try some of your girlfriend's suggestions in the privacy of your own home. You may become more comfortable with time. You may also just decide the style isn't what you like, and that solves the issue.

As others have said, you can solve your problem with breast size with some forms. If your size is your main concern, forms should be the next thing you try.

Good luck on your journey!

Sami

[Ericka_d]

Don't know how to quote mutiple people on a cell phone. So this might run on a bit.

As for the breast fourms. I have looked it to them many times. I just havnt bought them. I guess becuse unlesss i am at work or the gym. Iam wearing female clothing, and intill I meet her. I never even went out. You know all the bells and whistles. So I never needed them let alone padding.

[Beverley Sims]

I'm sorry dear, from one girl to another......

Grow some tits and take your girlfriends advice.

You will not regret it and life would become sooooo eassssy!

[Lydianne]

Ericka: You distanced yourself from sounding as though you were complaining because of the difficulty many have with their SO not being like yours. I wonder whether your situation isn't equally worthy of complaint, though..

Everyone is different. Some wives and girlfriends want no part of this, and some are very encouraging. When you have one category but need the other, it's difficult. I can understand that. Some CDers prefer some looks, while others might not be comfortable in those looks. If you feel most like yourself with one particular look, but you're being pushed into doing the other, that must also be difficult. I can understand that, too.

I hope you manage to reach a solution.

- Lydianne.

[Ericka_d]

Sorry clicked post reply by mistake.


As for being out of my comfort zone. Thats some that sort of got broken this past summer. When we went on our mini vaction. Three days of me being the girl friend, and wearing a dress out. Only in my first few times being out in public. I even wore the out fit around the house for a few days. Before we left town just to get comfortable in it.

As for us doing again. I would love to, and expressed interest in doing it again. I even told her we dont have to go any were. We live in a town of about 30k people. We can go out for drinks and danceing here in town. I just work a lot now, and we both live with family. Her with her sister me with my 80 year old grandma. So even just a weekend at home is out of the picture. At least for the next few months. Her sister sounds like shes moving out in july, and if we are still together. I plan on moving in.

I also dont think she forcing me to do it. She dose know I would dress sexier for her if i could. Just combine running back legs, my michelle obama arms as she calls them. By no means do i look ripped, but 15 years of hard work will do that to arms, and my very manly tattoo. Agian her words. To be fair its a harley vtwin with wrenches for my dad. I cant really pull off the whole sexy look. Like she can.

As for how she dresses. She has a professional job. Not saying she dresses super sexy, but from time to time she likes to wear a low cut shirt, but never tight jeans or a mini skirt. She says she dont have the ass for tight jeans. I will admit she dose have a mans butt. While she says i have the girl butt. Which is true. She says tight jeans are my department.

I think the only down fall about having a girl friend that approves. Is when your the same size, and have some what differnt taste in clothing. I mean if she buys some thing, or vise verisca. We both try it on for the most part. I just know she wont try my jeans. As they are to big in the butt and hips, and to small in the waist. I wont touch her work clothes. As they dont tickle my fancy.

- - - Updated - - -

I will say one last thing. There as been a few times were she has wanted me to try some thing one, and me knowing that would loom totally bad on me. I have tried on a few things for her, and as soon as she sees it she laughes. Becaues of my lack of breast, manly legs, my arms, etc. I know she dont mean it. I guess I dont want the one person that I love to laugh at me. When i am trying to be my self. Becuse if she laughs I wonder do I really look that bad.

- - - Updated - - -

I guess what gets me. Is i have tired on many things for her, and a few times only a few. She has laughed when she sees me. I guess i get it in my head that well if i am making her laugh. Maybe i look the carzy in this outfit.

- - - Updated - - -

I guess what gets me. Is i have tired on many things for her, and a few times only a few. She has laughed when she sees me. I guess i get it in my head that well if i am making her laugh. Maybe i look the carzy in this outfit.

[Sherrii]

As was said, a lot of people here would love your problem. But on to your question. I think you should follow her wish and get some sexy dresses. But at first just for home. Later on maybe at certain times for going out. But if she wants you more sexy you should do it for her, and maybe learn to enjoy the feeling too. Sherrii

[Joni T]

Just remember when you go out, the "sexier" you're dressed, the more attention you will draw which may or may not be what you really want. I can't speak for everyone else here but me--I dress to blend so as to not call undue attention to mineself.
Jon

[CONSUELO]

You want to dress as a female. Your girlfriend accepts that but she wants you to look good for her. She has come more than half-way in accepting your female self. That alone is a huge gift from her.
Is it too much to ask for you to just go the rest of the way and accept her help and advice in dressing? If you don't she may just give up and walk away. Is that what you want?

[gunta]

I would like to have such kind of girlfriend!!!:o

[LeannS]

What I would give to be in your shoes!! I am in a DADT wife doesn't want to see it or help.
1st put your big girl pants on get a thicker skin and when she does laugh don't take offense ask whats wrong with it and how can I fix it.
its all trial and error ask me I will tell you.
Listen I mean really listen to what she is saying and take it in. She can help you get to the end zone (so to speak)

Ericka please don't take this the wrong way I want what you have someone to share this adventure with.

just my 2 cents worth

Leann:daydreaming:

[Micki_Finn]

Maybe she’s just having fun playing “dress up” with you, putting you in outfits she feels like she can’t pull off herself. Instead of shooting her down when she picks something overly revealing, how about you tell her that you wouldn’t be comfortable wearing it in public but you’d be happy to wear it for her at home.

[Tracii G]

Get on You Tube and learn how to make your own pec muscles into boobs if you are worried about having no breasts.
Its real easy if I can do it and many others here can then you can too.

[krissy]

i know i would love to have your problem .Your a lucky one hold on tight

[Jenny22]

You are a very lucky girl to have such a girlfriend. Cater to her wishes, and see what happens. You do need breast forms to achieve a more realistic bosom.
Tell us a little more about yourself, such as age, how long have you been CDing, how and when did it start. The more we know, the better we can help and advise you.

[Jodie_Lynn]

So where are these women who not only accept, but encourage their mates to dress up?

Personally, I have my doubts. I am not saying they don't exist, just saying I've never met one in real life. Kind of like unicorns.

[paulacd]

I thought you said you had a problem??? I would give anything to be in a situation like yours!

Just talk to her and go with it as far as you are comfortable and be sure that you are both open about what you are wanting to get out of it. I'm sure that you will find that you will have a fantastic time and it will probably even strengthen your relationship in the long term.

Hugs,
Paula xxx

[Confucius]

It sounds as if you have certain personal needs that are satisfied by crossdressing. Your girlfriend is also expecting to satisfy some of her needs through it as well. However while you crossdress for comfort, her expectations are different. I'm not exactly sure what she wants. You need to have a talk with her about what she likes about crossdressers, and what kind of fantasies she may enjoy. Let her know that you appreciate her support for our crossdressing, and try to find a happy place where both your needs and hers can be reached.

[Lydianne]

I am not married.

I'm intrigued by the support the girlfriend is getting in this situation. I do understand the need for a supportive SO, and I have a lot of respect for SOs who make informed decisions to be supportive of CDing. I have concerns about over-supportiveness though.

We talk about taking it slow with the SO from our side, but if the SO puts the afterburners on and makes the CDer uncomfortable, that seems to be OK according to some (?). I agree with those that have suggested trying to reach a compromise or similar. I am also of this opinion.

I also have concerns about pressure put onto a CDer into a direction in which the CDer does not want to go. I would kind of understand if it were motivated by safety, decency, reputation, etc, but that isn't the case here. I am not married; so these are my questions:

1. Is a flood a valid solution to a drought?

2. The GF pressuring for more sexy is getting a lot of support. Would a girlfriend trying to put a stop to sexy get the same support?

- Lydianne.

[deebra]

If you pass how could you not want to go out and dress sexy? Hadn't you rather look at a sexy woman than a plain one?

[BrendaPDX]

I would try a set of forms, they are fun. I am sorry that she on occasion has laughed at you, let her know that it bothers you, she will probably stop. You are in a rare situation most here would love to be in; I hope it works for you:) Take care Brenda

[Sarasometimes]

A little confused on your build but being the same size as your girlfriend and I'm curious how you let her in on your dressing? I need more pieces of the puzzle to fit for me to better comment. Also you oddly mentioned being an adult...hmm, how old?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ericka :hugs:, Are you bragging or complaining , A lot of us should have your problem >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[April Rose]

Lydianne, you raise some good points. Flood or drought, communication seems like the best solution.

[Ericka_d]

Sorry iam getting back ao late. I even before I became a member. I would read the fourms maybe once a month or so. Dont take as a bad thing if I go missing. On a fishing fourm I use to post on daily. I go missing for a month their, and people are filling a missing person report .

I am 32 and have been dressing since i was 12 or so. Pretty munch stopped intill about 2011. Then I will admit i went a bit over board, but now with me wearing some thing fem almost every day. Its just normal clothes to me.

How I told her was pretty easy. She grew up in a very liberal family, and has gay family memebers, and a friend that has a little boy. That dresses as a girl all the time. When I decided to tell her. I was starting to care a lot about her. I figured she needed to know, and i told her. All she said them jeans you wear wearing on our second date. Were they girls jeans? I then told her yes. She then says know I knew why I liked them. I would wear them.

I have admited to her I would love to wear certain things, and I have a few dresses picked out. That I will show her on sunday, and she what she says. Maybe in the summer when i am not working as munch we can have a girls weekend, but this time its all about her, and what she finds sexy on my. We have all ready found out its not stuff that is usally worn in only in the bedroom. Its clothes like dresses and what not. Stuff she never sees me in.

[CDPheobe]

Erica, welcome to our forums. Well you have an advantage. A willing woman who sounds like she really cares and loves you for you. If shes willing to see you out in public, GO FOR IT! My wife wants to go out with me and have done so once. We just dont have the time due to kids and work schedules. There are plenty of worries but those will work themselves out. Again. you have a willing girlfriend. Go with the flow and let your girlfriend help you out. That opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

[Lizzie Skirts]

Communicate! It’s always easier said than done. From my perspective, you love dressing in a certain style, and your girlfriend seems to like a different style. When she selects outfits for you (which you don’t necessarily like), and then chuckles, it’s only natural for you to get uncomfortable. Tell her that! Tell her that you want to dress together, you want to look amazing, and that you don’t mind going out while dressed. But just like any other girl, you need some positive reinforcement and compliments and not chuckling which could be perceived negatively.

[michelleg]

Personally I would be happy to be in your situation, my wife and I our mostly DADT, so if she came home one day and said let's make you a sexier girl, I would gladly be open to pretty much anything. Maybe establishing some boundaries that each of you are comfortable with would be a start, good luck.

[Ericka_d]

Sorry to bumb a thread, but is my own thread. I hope thats not so bad.

The girl friend I talked. It was a communication break down. She said she is happy with what i am comfortable wearing as long as I am happy. I just know next time we go out. I will be more ready compared to the last few times, and willing to dress a bit sexier for her.

I am also working on a few things to have some free time, or at least allows me to quit my weekend job. So we can enjoy a weekend together. Even if all the cards fall right this week. We wont be going out intill summer. As i would like to grow out my hair a few more inches, and get it styled. Maybe even my make up done by a professional for a night. So the girlfriend has less to worry about, and so we can just enjoy the night out.

[Krisi]

I'm going to just skip a lot of stuff and jump to the point:

If you are going out in public wearing dresses (sexy or not), you are going to need breasts, butt and hair. A man in a dress looks like a man in a dress, period. Buy yourself a good pair of appropriately sized breast forms. Buy your self a good pair of hip and butt pads. Buy yourself a realistic looking wig.

Learn how to shave and cover your beard shadow and learn how to select and apply makeup.

Note: Buy your breast forms and hip/butt pads before you buy your clothes. What fits without the padding won't fit with the feminine figure you are creating.

[Ericka_d]

I have been out a few times all ready. Have the long hair all ready. Just want it a few more inches longer, as for breast. Iam naturally a c cup. So a push up bra dose wonders, but i have been thinking about getting fourms. I even all ready have the butt and hips. Maybe not like a genetic woman, but I do have them.

[Dana44]

Ericka, I would tell her to how you feel. but if she wants you to be sexy, why not her help you do that.

[Ericka_d]

We're going out again. There is no doubt about that. I am just waiting for a few things to fall right.

The first should fall in to place this week, or later next week. Once that happens. I wont be working as crazy as I do now. I then will be able to take a weekend off. Every now and then.

The second wont take place in july or August. I am moving in with her, and her sister we hope is moving out. So it will be easier to dress.

The third her health. She had a major concussion in September. While shes far better. She still will get a headach once and a while. So I dont push her.

While she hasnt seen the girl friend since last july. If just the first two fell in to place. Which they should. We could easily just go out, or just go out around town, but in a town with less then 50k people. There is not a whole lot to do.

So unless we go to a bigger town. I dont know if its worth it. To spend a a couple of hours getting ready. Just to go a dinner and a movie, or the lounge around the house.

I know it will happen. I am not pushing it, or need to do it right now. I mean for crying out loud. Iam usally fully dressed the way it is. Just minus the bra, makeup, and we are both ok with that.

As long as she sees the boyfriend more then once a month. The girlfriend can come out and play. Once and a while, and i am ok with that. Some times its kind of nice. Just being a man. I can wear sweat pants vs tight jeans. Which she loves my butt in. I can wear sneakers vs 2-4 inch heels. I dont have to worry about presenting my self a certain way as a man.

Yes i know i hit a gold mine with her. I dont plan on letting her go. I loom foward to many other adventures with her. Both as the girlfriend and boyfriend.

[GeorgiaD]

Erika, It's your life and don't be pushed into anything. Truth is that most of us are more manly than we wish to be and it takes years to find female clothing that looks naturally feminine on us, as this is what we strive to achieve. Long lose sleeves hide manly arms. Having breasts, whether forms, or pushing up what we already have to create a visible cleavage immediately helps others to identify us as female. In your case, being seen as female may not be what you are looking to achieve. I have friends who are very happy appearing to be feminine guys. We are all different and I am sure you will find your own way forward. Just enjoy being who you are. G xx

[macada10]

I have been out a few times all ready. Have the long hair all ready. Just want it a few more inches longer, as for breast. Iam naturally a c cup. So a push up bra dose wonders, but i have been thinking about getting fourms. I even all ready have the butt and hips. Maybe not like a genetic woman, but I do have them.

Longe hair, natural C cup, some butt and hips... I think you can look pretty well...mind some pics?

[Sallee]

Darn girl I hate when that happens "My GF want to make me wear something sexy." I can only dream or is it fantasize.
What can I say enjoy your terrible luck and show off that sexy side. Next you'll be saying she wants to play with you to much :sad::devil:

[Gypsy Sam]

Amazed by the similarities in my own relationship though the opposite in roles. Always wished for my SO to dress sexier as she has the figure for it. Never was interested and never will has been the reality of our long term DADT relationship. Erica_d point of view is understandable, as "biker chic" or "glamour rock" is a mentality that either is or it isn't. Long ago I quit asking, as you got to want to.

[Ericka_d]

I have a feeling about some thing, but this could be me just guessing. I think some are thinking about the bed room. Sorry that is a no. That is a hard limit for both of us. I have never had the desire to wear it, and she has no desire to see me in it. For me any way. That is one thing fem thing i dont have a interest in.


I think though with her there is more to the dressing sexy thing. Then just her saying i dress like prude. She is a bit bi, and she checks out woman more then me. I cant tell you how many times she will tell me you see the breast, or butt on that girl. No its not the normal see how big they are. They cant be real type of talk. Part of it I know she wishes she had that set of breast, or that butt.

I have a feeling she wants me to dress a bit sexier. Just not for me to embrace the girl side, but for her jollys also. Which is fine in my books. Lets be honest. Some times its fun to spice up a sex life. The first time She did my make up, and hair alone. She was ready to have some private fun. I even asked if she wanted me to wash it off, and she said no.

[KatrinaK]

That’s really a good problem to have. My wife told me during a heart to heart a couple days ago that she’s into girls, but not vaginas... and that she wants to show me what she finds hot. I’m REALLY excited. Enjoy!

[Sherrii]

Since you have a girl friend who not only goes along with your CDing but likes it you should do a little something for her. If she wants you dress up a bit I think you ought to at least to some extent or around the house. Or maybe one night a week is "dress up" night. Find something you can both enjoy and maybe after a while you will find you are ready for a little more or enjoy it more than you thought. Sherrii

[suzanne]

A lot of people are envious of your situation. Me too. If you have any doubts about the tension between the type of clothes she likes to see you in and the types that actually look good on you (ideally, they would be the same, but maybe they aren't), why don't you go dress shopping on your own, and get some serious pointers from an experienced sales lady. Not the ones who tell you everything looks good on you because they have a sales quota to meet. Try to find one who will flat out tell you "No" when it doesn't work, because that proves that yes really does mean yes.

About the arms or any other body part you find are less than feminine. All women have parts they like more than others. There are ways to accentuate your positives and camouflage your negative traits. Don't be afraid to get advice. As an example, my arms and shoulders are BIG. Long sleeve dresses won't even go over my arms and short sleeve or sleeveless dresses make my shoulders look apelike. So I always cover up a bit with a cardigan or bolero. It allows the eye to be drawn elsewhere and it works.

[tammy1]

I vote you get some breast forms soon. After receiving a tip from Lou, I pruchased my first boobs via Ebay for about $35.00 US delivered. C cup. Also for under $20.oo US found a comfortable pocket bra. I've kept the boobs rapped in the protective "glad wrap" or fac similar wrap and, although attachable, have had no problems wearing the other than an initial adjustment when putting on my bra. I love them! Another step during the creation of "tammy".

[jacques]

hello Ericka,
only you can decide, but a lot of us would like like to be in you position (in our dreams at least).
But I find that sexy dresses just don't hang right without boobies!
luv J

[Ericka_d]

There is a lot of things I would like including fourms, but even cheap ones. Are not in the budget at this point. I have debts to pay back first.

If i get the job that Interviewed for last week. The debts are the first thing i am going to take care off. Breast fourms are like at the bottom of the list at this point.

Some one also asked for a pic of me. Not to be a prude, but that wont happen ever. I respect my privacy when it comes to this manner.

[Jenny Brogai]

Maybe try to make her happy by dressing a little sexier, it would include her further in your dressing also.

[Shely]

Boy, do i wish i was in your shoes. We have a DADT situation here and it is VERY limiting to say the least. Go for it sexy is always better in my opinion.