Acceptance levels by Wives and SO's

[Becky Blue]

Some of us on here are in a DADT situation, others are still keeping it a secret and some have very accepting partners. I thought it would be interesting to rate your wife/SO acceptance. For those of you who have yet to share perhaps you can guesstimate what you think would be the rating if you did tell. Lets say that a 10 is a wife/SO who SO embraces your F side that she is encouraging you and perhaps even pushing you further than you would go on your own and that a 0 is a wife/SO who says not under my roof chose me or her...

[Jaylyn]

Mine started out at around an 8 or 9 and was helping me learn makeup skills n buying me clothes and Jaylyn Christmas Presents but has recently dropped to around a 3 and in a DADT. I don't know what happened but I do know GG can change their minds in a second or two.

[2BArianwen]

I haven't told my SO because I'm pretty sure she would be in the 0-1 range. I assume many others are in the same position...

[Dana44]

Mine is accepting and it is 8, or 9.

[2BArianwen]

So jealous!!! :)

[dawn459]

My So knew before we married but because of children in the home it was
1_3 after all the children& grand children moved out the level has played between 4_8 with us shopping together with me
In male mode.We live in a area where I am.pretty well known & if some one saw her& I was ended there might be tounges wagging
We plan but haven't done it
To travel out of state for a Girls night out.

[Jaymees22]

I think she started at a 1 and now after 6 years I'm happy she's at a 5. Slow progress but at least we're headed in the right direction. I would be a little worried about a women that said she was great with this.

[Michaelasfun]

Prolly a 6/7, I can wear girly outfits in the house, but under no circumstances does she want me to go out either by myself or certainly gawd forbid with her, I give her a lot of credit for just putting up with me indoors.

[ginapoodle]

Initially a 7-8, pretty high acceptance: helping me buy clothes and makeup. That was about ten years ago.

Then life happened that resulted in my wife experiencing a lot of grief and depression (mother killed in major car accident, father severely injured, and more).

Support dwindled fast to very low, maybe 2-3. Last summer I re-energized Gina, and kept my wife in the loop. She neither pushed back, nor supported, nor initiated any discussion or questions. I gave many openings--nothing. So, we are in DADT and I do not want to press her given her current stress levels and history of anger when I do engage in pushback or confrontation.

The conclusion: people are variable in acceptance.

[Marcia Blue]

My wife knows, helps me buy clothes and makeup. She has critiqued my outfits and makeup. Lets me dress at home with her around, sans wig. She will not go out with me dressed.
That being said I rate he acceptance at a 9.

[Diane Taylor]

When I first came out to my ex she was about 1 or 2 but eventually made it up to 9-10. My current girlfriend is in the 8-9 range. I dress as often as I want with no pushback. She's also gone out in public settings with me and some of my CD friends.

[Michelle Crossfire]

Interesting. She buys for me, gives me fashion advice, even helps me pick out stuff when i am going to dress from time to time. She has accompanied me out to GNO's and the mall once or twice, so i have to give her at least an 8 and could justify a 9.

[Lux]

I would definitely say a 10. She lets me dress whenever I want, have my clothes in our walk in closet. She has surprised me with tickets to and has gone to SCC, Divas and Wildside with me. She goes out with me all the time and holds my hand as we walk out to the dance floor. She is amazing and I also definitely count my blessings every day!

[mattfrykowski]

I would say right now a 1 or 2. Its only been a couple of months since I told her. I say 1 or 2 because she is ok with me wearing panties under my clothes and to bed at night. Perhaps she is a 10 because of that, but I assume as this progresses some I will find out how much acceptance she will have.

[Teresa]

Becky,
It's hard to say in a DADT situation , you never know from day what figure to put on it , the goalposts moved that quickly , if my wife had her way I wouldn't dress at all so I should really put a 0 .

Sadly it won't matter soon , whatever level she was at wasn't enough for me but the DADT problem won't entirely go away when we separate not unless there are big changes and I totally walk away from the family .

[Julia1984]

That'll be a -10 From me.
I misread the OP too. Actual, not anticipated. What's the value in guessing...?

[DaisyLawrence]

For those of you who have yet to share perhaps you can guesstimate what you think would be the rating if you did tell. Lets say that a 10 is a wife/SO who SO embraces your F side that she is encouraging you and perhaps even pushing you further than you would go on your own and that a 0 is a wife/SO who says not under my roof chose me or her...

I think some replies here have failed to read the OP properly. Becky asked for those who have NOT shared this side of the with their SO's to guess the likely response, not for those who have shared to state the response they got. So on that basis I would not expect any 8's, 9's or 10's because if that is the expected response then what is stopping you? In fact, so far there is only one reply from someone who has yet to reveal, and not surprisingly the guesstimate is very low.

Edit:

I got this wrong, see above :)

[Isabella Ross]

Sorry, Daisy, but I think you should reread the OP. Definitely not the way I read it. And I will give my wife a full 10...

[DaisyLawrence]

You're right Isabella. My mistake, I was so wrong but that's not the first time. So I suppose I should give my own rating then. 10 just like you. We have much to be thankful for.
Will be interesting to see where the numbers lie for those just guessing as they have not yet 'come out' to their SO's though.

Becky, you did not not give your number. Am I correct that I remember you saying your SO does not know or am I thinking of someone else? If so, what is your guess?

[Gypsy Sam]

DADT by choice. Revealed and acted out one time decades ago and the guilt was over whelming. Savor the me time, and she accommodates my secret obsession with disdain.
Would have to rate 1-2 as my evaluation and have adapted to the situation. Admire those with skills and talent to present well, a good self image must be the catalyst for that result.

[Lacey New]

If there were negative numbers, that would be my very conservative and soon to be ex wife. My guess is that she would have zero tolerance for my cross dressing. There were a number of times years ago when we were young and frisky and I would put on her panties and appear in front of her and ask playfully “Is this what I have to do to
get into your pants?” And all I got was a shrill “Take those off”

[Elizabeth G]

Numerically I would say my wife is about a 4 - 5. In my mind I kind of categorize levels of acceptance as follows (although there are infinitely more subdivisions I'm sure):

Encouraging
Supportive
Accepting
Tolerant
DADT
Show stopper

My wife falls somewhere in the tolerant to accepting range.

[Rayleen]

Mine was 10 from the start after explaining every detail including shopping along with her.

no secrets in our union.

[sara66]

My wife is a solid 5. We are not in a DADT, however she doesn't want to see me dress. She will not buy anything for me, although she gave me a necklace she did not want. We can talk about my dressing as long it is not all the time. She is fine with me going out, but wants it limited to 1 or 2 times a year. Basically she ok with in with limits.
Sara

[aprilgirl]

A 10. I told my wife early on while dating, which took her several months to process. Between our open discussions and her own studies (researcher by trade) we made it work for us. I'm quite humbled by her continued acceptance and support, and still surprised by her encouragement, which is more than I could have ever imagined or hoped for.

[Cassiek]

My wife knows and has recently discovered some of my pictures. After answering a few basic questions to quell her fears about others knowing, to which the answer is no, she gave me huge hug and told me I’ll always be the man she loves. She has yet to tell me to stop or push for greater discussion. For now I’m giving rating of 4 with hopes of a future 9 or 10

[MLane]

I agree with Gina, it really depends on whats going in your life. Any hobby or interest can become obsessive and make your SO feel you are only thinking of yourself. My wife can range between 2 to 3 and up to a 7-8, but in the end she is amazing and very accepting. I try to put myself in her shoes (not literally) but I don't think any little girls dream of getting married and then later find out that they need to share the feminine spotlight with their husband.


Initially a 7-8, pretty high acceptance: helping me buy clothes and makeup. That was about ten years ago.

Then life happened that resulted in my wife experiencing a lot of grief and depression (mother killed in major car accident, father severely injured, and more).

Support dwindled fast to very low, maybe 2-3. Last summer I re-energized Gina, and kept my wife in the loop. She neither pushed back, nor supported, nor initiated any discussion or questions. I gave many openings--nothing. So, we are in DADT and I do not want to press her given her current stress levels and history of anger when I do engage in pushback or confrontation.

The conclusion: people are variable in acceptance.

[Monique65]

This thought has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I have not broached the subject with her yet, but I feel she must have some inkling after 44 years of marriage. I am leaning more to the femme side recently, and joining this forum has boosted my confidence greatly. I underdress, and have shaved my facial hair, and she has made no comment about either. The biggest clue she has given me is that when she does the laundry, she folds several pairs of panties and places them on top of my stack of clothes. I take this to be tacit acceptance. I'm not ready to bring the subject up just yet, but when it does come up, I feel she will be supportive. Based on these observations, I'll give her a 5-6.

[skirt_guy]

My wife is an 8/10. Don’t get me wrong, she is awesome on the cross dressing idea, even suggesting getaways but she is afraid of breast forms and if I purchase an article of clothing that she likes, I immediately loose it. Keep in mind that my dressing in front of her has been a gradual process over 30 years. She’s a great gal and I appreciate her acceptance but not quite there yet.

But I’m grateful for who I have.

[Sandra]

I'm a wife and I'm a 10 +....do I get a prize :D

[pamela7]

10. There have been so many threads and discussions on this. We're passing on ground that I hope is easing for everyone.

In my own opinion, love is love, and conditional love is ... not love. Too many people do marry for other reasons, such as status, wealth, looks or other factors, and maybe it is almost impossible to find that one true love. I did, so I'm super lucky, but for sure, cross-dressing, transitioning - they find out how real the love is.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well said Pam. Couldn't agree more.

[Lizzie Skirts]

Numerically I would say my wife is about a 4 - 5. In my mind I kind of categorize levels of acceptance as follows (although there are infinitely more subdivisions I'm sure):

Encouraging
Supportive
Accepting
Tolerant
DADT
Show stopper

My wife falls somewhere in the tolerant to accepting range.

I’ll build on this scale:
0 - Show stopper, get out of my house
1 - DADT, lets just ignore this and never talk about it again.
2 - DADT, but I’d like to be aware of when you’re going to dress so I can avoid being surprised.
3 - Tolerant, but not inquisitive and don’t initiate discussions bout your dressing. You can shave your legs.
4 - Tolerant and inquisitive about your dressing; might not love it but wiling to let it happen behind closed doors.
5 - Accepting, still possibly uncomfortable about this but not tryign to change you.
6 - Accepting, trying to understand the importance of this and don’t want you to change.
7 - Supportive, may or may not fully understand you, can dress subject to conditions (no kids, limits on dress, wig, makeup, location of dressing, etc.)
8 - Supportive, few if any limits. You can go out.
9 - Accepting, views your feminine side as one of her girlfriends. You can go out with her.
10 - Encouraging, initiates out-of-house dressing, expands your skills or wardrobe, personally enjoys your dressing.

Having said that, my wife is a 7. She’s OK with shaving, dresses, lingerie, heels in the house. Makeup, wigs, and breast forms outside her comfort level but it’s not outside of the question some day.

[JeanTG]

On Lizzie's scale, somewhere between 1 and 3 and occasionally zero.

[ginapoodle]

An example of a ten, unconditional love, in my life-- is my youngest daughter. I came out to her and her older sister last Thanksgiving. Youngest is also "queer". Her response has been encouraging in so many ways. She and I are so alike, in so many ways: personality, creative, etc. I am grateful for my youngest, and that I finally told them my full authentic story.

My wife and oldest daughter are clones: to some degree they express "conditional" love. They are controllers. Deep seated, I think, the controllers lack their own self esteem and are fear driven. The fear expresses in micro-aggressions, passive-aggressive behavior and good old narcissism.

In the end, we can only change ourselves.

[Taylor186]

It depends. She's a 7-8 given that I dress up fully and go out only once or twice a year. She would be a 0-1 if I dressed up fully every week. She's 8-9 when it comes to underdressing from the waist down: which I do most days. She's a 2-3 when it comes to undressing from the waist up or wearing forms or accessories.

On the whole I consider myself very lucky and don't push or want to push the current boundaries.

[Teri Ray]

I am very lucky to have my wife in my life. She is a 9 for sure. Because nobody is perfect but she comes as close as anyone can get and I love her very much. Anyone who can put up with me has to be special.

I believe its nice to complete your spouse online but we should all know its the little daily complements that have the most impact. I now know its not enough to think how much you appreciate your wife its more important to tell her.

[Krisi]

It's had to boil a relationship down to a number but if I had to, it would be an "8". She tolerates my dressing and we go clothes shopping together. She will help pick out clothes for me and sometimes just shop by herself and bring me clothes. I can dress around the house when she is home with no problems.

The reason I give her an 8 and not a 10 is, she won't call me by a feminine name when I'm dressed and she won't go out in public with me (yet). Neither one of us wants neighbors, friends or family to know about my little "hobby" so I wouldn't be walking in and out of the house dressed, so I'm trying to figure out a way we can go out together in some other area. If I can convince her to do that, I'll raise the number.

[2BArianwen]

If there were negative numbers, that would be my very conservative and soon to be ex wife. My guess is that she would have zero tolerance for my cross dressing. There were a number of times years ago when we were young and frisky and I would put on her panties and appear in front of her and ask playfully “Is this what I have to do to
get into your pants?” And all I got was a shrill “Take those off”

Thank you Lacey - I was beginning to feel very lonely!

- - - Updated - - -


... In the end, we can only change ourselves.

Gina - you are absolutely spot on! I'm so glad you have that relationship with your daughter. I expect my children to be accepting also, when the time is right to share.

[Alice_2014_B]

My wife's acceptance level is a 9.5, possibly a 9.75 or so.

Positives:
Supports me doing stand-up in girl-mode. And also when I was in a cross-dressing band.
She really digs my taste in fem-ware and my overall girl-look.
Buys me clothes and stuff, such as dresses, nail polish, and makeup stuff.
She's even cool with sharing makeup stuff .
I'm not into sharing her clothes, even if we were the same size.
She did my makeup once, and is willing to again.
Twice we went out together with me all dolled up (can find threads on both times, one of which was for Halloween).
She digs me wearing heels "in bed", or just whenever I'm chillaxin.
Her favorites to see me in are my high heeled boots.
And she can freely wear my heels in like manner, but she cannot walk in 99% of them (we are the same size in shoes/heels).

Some of our friends and family know of my En Femme stand-up and YouTube videos, some of which have seen me do it and really like it.

As far as my girl-name, doesn't matter to me, wanna call me by it when I'm dressed up, go for it.

The reason I don't go 10 is because she is indifferent on seeing me fully dolled up in person, though she has several times.
:)

[Stephanie47]

My wife is not accepting of my cross dressing. She knows I do wear women's clothing. However, since it is DADT or even discuss the subject she has no idea of the extent of my female wardrobe. If she were to find out I have 158 dresses and tons of undergarments, I don't know if she would just roll her eyes or go into a tirade. I'd be happy to share with her, but, it is her choice to live like an ostrich. Since there is no ultramatim of "It's either me or the highway" I cannot score it as a zero. She makes no snide comments about cross dressing when seeing it on television news program. She is supportive of transgender rights with some limitations on the bathroom debate. So, maybe a 2??

[Heisthebride]

I would say my wife is about a 9. I decided to tell her early in the relationship and being up front and honest went a long ways towards acceptance. If she sees me dressed she would prefer I go more natural and casual without a lot of makeup. I perform burlesque en femme locally and that requires more makeup and risque costumes. She was the one who actually bought me burlesque lessons initially as a birthday gift. So she will attend the performances and we will be out mingling with the crowd after the shows together.

She does have her limits however. She is not into the fetishy stuff, french maids, sexy lingerie, etc. just around the house. It's ok if its a performance. She also has no interest in taking my dressing into the bedroom.

[ginapoodle]

I have often wondered what would have happened if I had told my wife while still dating/engaged? Hard to be sure, but I bet her reaction would have been "go away", and then she would have blabbed to friends and her family. Then living in Midland, TX in 1987, working in the oil business-- would have been hell. Could have destroyed my career.

So yeah, that is the big why not for me. Culture context is critical. Before meeting my wife I sort-of came out to two girlfriends. Both were pretty open and supportive. One is still a close friend all these decades later.

[EllenJo]

My wife is a solid 9, she is very accepting. I dress daily since I retired and she is fine within limits. She really does prefer that I do not wear a wig and make up around her. As she puts it, from the neck down is all mine. She often comments on my outfits and tells me when something does not work. She told me this morning that if we were the same size (she is very small) she would steal my new Lane Bryant sweater. Got to love her.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Teresa]

Becky,
It would be very interesting if we were able to put this question to our wives /partners and compare the two scores , I know mine and hers would match !

I do feel it's a shame we have to consider questions like this , I'm afraid Pamela is right a marriage based on true and total love should see it through so obviously some of us have fallen short on that point as well .

[Zoeytgtx]

Becky:

I would have to rate it as a 2. She and I exist in a DADT world. She knew I dressed but I think we actually took a step backwards when she accidentally saw a picture of me dressed. She told me now now she understood why I would be more attracted to Zoey than to her. She sees it as a competition she can't win and I cannot talk her out of it. From the day she saw that photo we probably took a step backwards concerning my dressing and needing to be out in public.

[jacques]

hello,
rating my wife from 0-10 seems so wrong... she does not judge my dressing as much as I do!
luv J

[LeannS]

I would have to say a 3 she knows i dress and where my clothes are but we don't talk about it.

[2B Natasha]

10. Is there an 11? There is not really much more to say.

Cheers

[Cherylgyno]

I'm going with a 9+. We go bra shopping for me. SA's will comment that it is obvious who we are shopping for as I am a 48D wife is a 36B. I wear shirt tucked in thus accenting my breasts. My wife realizes that having large feminine breasts makes me happy and that makes her happy.

[TillyM]

I’ll build on this scale:
0 - Show stopper, get out of my house
1 - DADT, lets just ignore this and never talk about it again.
2 - DADT, but I’d like to be aware of when you’re going to dress so I can avoid being surprised.
3 - Tolerant, but not inquisitive and don’t initiate discussions bout your dressing. You can shave your legs.
4 - Tolerant and inquisitive about your dressing; might not love it but wiling to let it happen behind closed doors.
5 - Accepting, still possibly uncomfortable about this but not tryign to change you.
6 - Accepting, trying to understand the importance of this and don’t want you to change.
7 - Supportive, may or may not fully understand you, can dress subject to conditions (no kids, limits on dress, wig, makeup, location of dressing, etc.)
8 - Supportive, few if any limits. You can go out.
9 - Accepting, views your feminine side as one of her girlfriends. You can go out with her.
10 - Encouraging, initiates out-of-house dressing, expands your skills or wardrobe, personally enjoys your dressing.

Having said that, my wife is a 7. She’s OK with shaving, dresses, lingerie, heels in the house. Makeup, wigs, and breast forms outside her comfort level but it’s not outside of the question some day.


I like to have some point of reference, thanks to Lizzie she has helped to assess where my SO is! I would say she is a 7?. She accept this is part of me, she has bought stuff for the femme me previously. The only thing which bugs me, is she doesn’t understand that I need to dress more frequently than she thinks I do!

Tilly xx

[~Renee~]

She's a self proclaimed 9. We are more like 7 due to my moderation. She definitely understands the need. I'm a long way from the door. So I can't say 8.

[Beverley Sims]

A good 9, we shop and go out together, share some comments, I will get my clothes adjusted if they are out of place when dressed, blouse tucked in etc.

Just don't get touched intimately all the time, get hugs and she shares my makeup and perfume.

She doesn't buy many things for me, our tastes in fashion are different.

[Tina_gm]

Maybe a 4. Not dadt, but she doesn't like to see it. Conversations occur every few months now. Her biggest concerns always is Will it one day lead to me being a woman or just much more of one than a man, and therefore I would effectively no longer be considered to be a husband. What I will say though is the life she came from, her conservative among the conservative, so that would be well into the negatives. So in many ways she's made it 10 pts.

- - - Updated - - -

Edit, consrrvative among conservative upbringing

[Sandra_Dodds]

On the LizzieSkirts scale, I would say we started out on a 6 but quickly slid to a 1 and if my stash is discovered I expect to hit 0 based on past ultimatums.

[GracieRose]

On Lizzie's scale, we have elements of 3 through 7, so I'll call it a 5.

[Rollermiss]

My wife is a 9.99999 I think every GG may have that .00001%. My house is a 9 as my girls know and support and help. All 4 of us have gone out. However it has been always out of town. When home it is on our own property.

Kelsey

[AnotherSarah]

A solid 9. My wife was mad it so long for me to tell her.

[Kathryn_Cox]

My wife is deff a 10 has been totaly supportive since telling her New Years Eve 2009.

[Tanya silk stocking]

i would say 10 as she has bought clothes etc for me and even encourages me more to get dressed up and go out to a club

[cdsamswife]

I asked my husband what he would rate me and he said it would vary maybe 7 to 10? Some days I am extemely accepting, encouraging, suprising him with small gifts like new panties or booties etc. Sometimes I get fustrated and try to avoid it but I am never disrespectful that he is dressing or wants to dress.... I think the "rating" can fluctuate a lot....

[alwayshave]

My fiancee is 9.5. She is supportive and has gone out with me. However, I believe she would prefer that I didn't.

[Shayla]

Based on Lizzie's scale we are currently at 2. DADT for the most part but she wants to know of any new developments (to make sure I am not taking it farther than I have said I want to, I think) and only when I am out of town (I travel 2-3x/month).

[char GG]

I feel like I am similar to cdadamswife. My husband didn't start dressing until well into our marriage. My level of acceptance varies (probably from 7 to 10). I will go out with him when he's dressed, buy him girl things, go to events where he can dress up in fancy evening dresses, even purchased tickets so that we could go to a Lady Gaga concert with him dressed. However, I don't really want to see his girl clothes hanging in out common living area. I don't want to go on a full blown vacation with him dressed. I like being with the man I married and want man/woman time together such has holding hands and hugging. We are not "girlfriends". His dressing has passed the pink fog stage and there is some balance in our lives. When he is dressed, I feel like it's "all about him/her". He seeks the attention he gets from others when he's dressed. When he's in man mode, it's about us. I can deal CDing but not as an everyday thing.

[Asew]

My wife has only known for about a week, and I would currently rate her a 8. The only rule she has said is not in front of the kids (though she said if I get a kilt I could wear that in front of them). Granted when I dressed as Dorothy for Halloween, my youngest told everyone he met for about a week that I used balls for boobs. So if they see it, everyone will know about it and I am definitely not ready for that anyways.

Two weeks ago I would of said she was a 0 or maybe even a 1. A few years ago when she saw me dressed she said that if I ever did it again she would divorce me. But apparently that was because she was under the impression that only gay men wear dresses (based on the drag queens she hanged out with before who were all gay and reinforced by RuPaul's drag race). Once I cleared up I have this desire to dress and that I am only attracted to women she said she was ok with it. We have even gone thrift shopping and online shopping and already planned to go out dressed to a drag show.

Seeing other people's responses who started at a higher level and lowered has me a little concerned since it is still so new for us.

[SuzyZahn]

7.5 almost an 8 according to Lizzies list. No complaints from me at this point as I have not pushed to the points 0f 9 /10.

[Veronica53]

Mine also is very accepting 9 fore sure

[Tina June]

My wife and I are about an 8 - mostly good, only a few minor concerns.

[Jenn A116]

Mine would be a 9. We've been married 20+ years now and she knew before I asked her to marry me. We met later in life and each accepted the other as they were. I'm very fortunate to have found her. She often says that one of the things that attracted her to me as a certain gentleness. I think that was some of Jennifer bleeding through.

[Karen RHT]

Best we can do on the Lizzie scale is a 7.


Karen

[Angie G]

I have to say my standing is about a 9.9. We shop together and she will say would you like this or that.:hugs:
Angie

[karenph]

I would say mine is a 5.

[Judy-Somthing]

I told my wife I've dressed up two years ago after finding this site, we were married thirty-five years ago.
She knew I dressed up with friends pryer to marriage but considered it fooling around, not cross-dressing.

She says she'll leave me if I continue.

Well I haven't dressed in ten months until the other day I had some time so I put on a dress.
My heart was pounding, thinking I might get caught, (at least I got my cardiovascular exercise) it was not FUN!
I need a plan. I want to stay married but the Pink-Fog is a Bitch!

She also said if I shave on my day off while she's at work she'll know I'm up to something!

[Panties4me]

Becky Blue, you asked for a rating from others but haven't given one yourself.

[Teresa]

Char,
That is an interesting comment , " He seeks the attention from others when he's dressed "

The point is he needs that but have you stopped to ask why ? I asked the question to my gender counsellor suggesting I may only be seeking it to validate my CDing needs . She saw through that but there is something deeper for me in that need. I have AGP ( I know it's a contentious subject ) but one of it's traits is to bve seen and accepted as woman . Some with this need have gone through transition to satisfy it, it's not GD but it's still strong enough to drive that need .


I do understand your perspective , you are married to a man and you still need him as such , and I feel your acceptance is wonderful . When we don't get that then people like myself eventually have to decide if the CDing needs are great enough to be honest and separate from our wives/partners . In my case we are both OK about the situation , staying together meant it wasn't going to become easier and eventually the marriage would fail anyway but possibly less amicably .

[Lacey CD]

It's a bit hard for me to rate this because technically I'm not a crossdresser, I'm more gender fluid in that I've been able to blend the masculine/feminine to some degree and live that in my day to day. I have no desire to present as a female anymore. An androgynous look works for me on many levels. When not at work my wardrobe is 75-80% female clothing and she has no issue within limits. She will be the first to say "you are not wearing that out of the house!". Not because it's feminine but because it doesn't look good! So I would give her an 8!

[Becky Blue]

Wow this thread really took off :).. i purposely did not post my rating in the OP as I really did not want this thread to be about me. i will post my score shortly, but just had a few responses and thoughts first.

Firstly its great to see so many 8+ scores its really really amazing to see just how many supportive wives there are out there!!
Secondly a huge thanks to Lizzie for taking the time to provide a complete scale... you did an amazing job there!!!

Sandra 10+ wife.. your SO already got THE prize you!!!!
Teresa, yes a very interesting thought to match the SO/Wife score to ours

Also interesting and not surprising that in some cases the rating has changed over time in both directions.

Now as to my score, its quite complicated as my wife knows a little bit, the little bit she knows she is probably 2 to 3.. i think if she knew more she would drop to a 1.5

[Christie ann]

She has known since about day 1 and early on I thought I could shake this...anyway. She is squarely a 0.5.

[cosmolovesph]

Mine is 8-9 very supportive, buys stuff (gifts, nice finds) for me or gives suggestions on my outifts/makeup etc... really makes a nice relationship.

[JulesLynne]

My wife is an 8/10. Don’t get me wrong, she is awesome on the cross dressing idea, even suggesting getaways but she is afraid of breast forms and if I purchase an article of clothing that she likes, I immediately loose it. Keep in mind that my dressing in front of her has been a gradual process over 30 years. She’s a great gal and I appreciate her acceptance but not quite there yet.

But I’m grateful for who I have.

It sounds like our wives are very similar. I recently came out to my wife and we had a very long and open discussion about my female side. In short, I explained that my need to dress wasn’t just because of a fetish or kink, but that I’ve really got about 5% girl deep inside me. She asked me if I wanted to wear wigs or breast forms and I explained YES along the lines of I want to complete the transformation and I don’t want to see baggy material where breasts or hips should be any more than I wanted to see hairy legs or combat boots with a nice skirt. I explained that if this was solely about my like of panties, pantyhose, etc., then I’d be completely happy just wearing those items underneath my male clothes. She really seemed to come around and we have been incredibly emotionally close after I divulged the extent of my secrets. She hasn’t seen me wear them, but she did seem to understand why I want them. Her fear seemed to stem from me either feeling like I should have been born with breasts, or me wanting to wear them all the time.

[Tina Davis]

My wife knows I have dressed previously, but she would not be happy to find my current stash. I promised myself several years ago I would never wear her things again. But to her, my lack of honesty is the biggest fault, so she would probably be at 0-1 if I told her of my ongoing desire to dress occasionally and even go out en femme. After over 25 years of marriage, I don't think I will ever bring it up with her unless there is a major change in our lives.

[JocelynJames]

I searched and searched...thought I had answered this but probably another thread .
My wife is probably around a 7. She buys clothing and makeup , calls me by my femme name when I am dressed,and we have gone out with me dressed. She pretty much rolls with whatever I’m comfortable with, but never pushes for more.

[Jasmine Jones NZ]

My wife is definitely a 9.5 but she's aiming for 10.

[KelleyB]

I'm very fortunate in that my wife is a 10.

I didn't start dressing past half slips around her until last year, and we've been married over 20 years, together more than 25.

However, I wanted to start wearing dresses/skirts/bras, again, so I surprised her one evening. I knew this was the best way for both her and I, and she was just fine with it. To be fair, she bought me a satin half slip back in 1993-1995 as a gift, so it's not like she's not pretty comfortable with it.

I thought maybe this might be too much, but she liked the bridesmaid dress I bought, liked we had matching bras, and that I was comfortable with myself.

Now, I'll change clothes shortly after getting home, and she's 100% okay with it. In fact, she's suggested I go get the mail, at night, while dressed, and that's a giant NOPE from me. She's done it twice, in fact. However, me dressing is for her and I, period. I don't want to leave the house dressed. In fact, it still makes me a bit nervous trying on feminine clothes before buying them, like I did, yesterday, but I shouldn't care what anyone else thinks when I'm in a store.

She has said I have more than enough slips and skirts. She doesn't yet know I bought her a size smaller bridesmaid dress in a soft satin, which has a sweetheart neckline and is strapless (all of ours are strapless, I just love the style). Maybe tonight we'll play 'dress-up'.

edit: My wife had some questions for me...did I want to be a woman, did I want to go outside dressed, why do I do it, when did it start...the basics.

I did not prepare, or even thing about, potential questions and answers, and honesty is the best way to go, so I said:

1. No, I like being male.
2. My dressing up is a very intimate thing, and it's between us, period.
3. I do it because it feels natural, feels good, and there is a thrill to it because it's 'naughty'.
4. It started when I was about 5 or 6, with my mom's clothes.

It was cathartic to speak to her about it, and she is very at ease with my dressing. A couple of weeks ago, she even offered up a tank top of hers which she said should fit. I asked her, last weekend, if she minded if I bought a blouse or two, and she said, "not at all".

Monday, I brought two home and she's impressed with my shopping skills! Two satin, short-sleeve, button-down blouses in my size, both damage-free, for $5. She can't believe how I can find blouses and dresses which fit me just right.

:-D