Fog rolling in

[SamanthaToday]

Another cycle of feeling stuck.

Amazing I could have such a great start in December with a taxi driver flirting, to being scared to make another step.

It occured to me, that I dont go out now even in male mode, makes it harder to dress up and want to meet new people.

Its all on me, I think im scared of the future that I am paralyzed to move today.

Have another appointment coming up in 2 weeks, I plan on sinking or swimming, cant go through anymore wondering days.

- - - Updated - - -

Had a nice laff tonite with my wife.

I was looking at two wine glasses intently, |She said what are you looking at, I said for the lipstick on the rim.

We both laffed, She doesnt wear lipstick...

[docrobbysherry]

I strongly suggest getting out and meeting other dressers. That could be the push u need to do whatever it is u NEED to do!:)

I know for a fact there is a large contingent of T's in Vancouver!:battingeyelashes:

[Pat]

Amazing I could have such a great start in December with a taxi driver flirting, to being scared to make another step.

Relax. There's no duty to perform, no requirements to be met in crossdressing. If you're feeling like you're failing, just forgive yourself. You'll do it when you're ready.

[Jaylyn]

That's the rules of CD course 101 states that everyone dresses in their own time and at their own speed.
Yep lipstick stains on glasses are a turn on for me.
Just enjoy your dressing.

[SamanthaToday]

I know, but everything I want, crushes everything I know.

There is a large contingent of TS in Vancouver....,but I feel im hanging on to the last fragments of my old self.

Meeting people will seal the deal, I dont know when I should let go.

Im crying through this entire post, Im so stuck.

[IleneD]

Samantha,

Be at peace, dear.
Most of us know what you are experiencing. I've been there too.
Wanting something that appears so far away; almost unattainable. The need. Your inner woman that calls your name constantly.
This is why we have this forum. It's not just support for the sake of promoting CD. It is inner support from friends who know what dwells in your spirit. For me, it confirms that I am not mad, insane or wrong. I'm not alone, and neither are you.

You're in a married relationship. Proceed slowly, but proceed. Be you. It's not like you have a choice.
Hugs.

[SamanthaToday]

Thank you Ilene, It helps enormously to have others to talk to. People who know exactly what its like.

I dont know it my marriage will survive this, I do know my wife and I will be friends forever.

We talk all the time about what we will do going forward, She is there for me.

Thank you.