Driving through the South enfem

[VtVicky]

Hi all.

I'll be driving from New England to Key West, Fl. this Spring. I'd like to do it enfem, but, I am concerned about any local "sensitivities" in the States I'll be driving through. I know some jurisdictions in the "Old South" had legal restrictions on crossdressing. I wonder if any one on this forum has any current information on the relative safety/legality of driving while dressed.

Since there is no conceivable way that I could pass, any time out of the truck I will be easily identified. I am less worried about the redneck bullies at gas stations than I am about the police.

I would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.


Thanks

[Aunt Kelly]

I would advise against this. You are planning a drive through a world very, very different from what you are used to in New England. Yes, I am generalizing. Certainly there are places in the South that are tolerant and enlightened, but there are also places that are deeply intolerant woefully benighted and you won't know which is where over most of your route. With meticulous research and careful planning, you might be able to plan your stops in only the more metropolitan areas, but even then, it's uncharted territory. That hotel close to the Interstate may be in the worst part of town. Houston is generally pretty tolerant, but there are definitely places I would not go, even in boy mode, in this "sophisticated" metropolis.

[Tracii G]

Kelly there are a heck of a lot intolerant people up in New England.
I have been up there a lot and always swore not to take a run up in the north east the next time a run came around. (trucker)
Vicky the south is not like you think it is its full of very nice accepting people. Kind caring and don't give a hoot if you dress enfemme because its none of their business how you dress.
I really get offended when people from the north east consider the southerners to be backwards, ignorant and think the civil war is still going on.
What I'm saying is don't worry the south is a beautiful part of the country full of very friendly people.
There aren't roving bands of "good ole boys" in pick up trucks searching for CDers to beat up.
I have done trans group events up in the mountains of Eastern Ky Did one in Valdosta Ga Irmo South Carolina and all the locals were very nice
Lots of Cders and trans people all over the country so have fun and use common sense.

[lingerieLiz]

Relax Vicky! I've been all over this country working on projects. It doesn't matter where you go there are good and bad people. I've found intolerance in the west coast where people are supposed to be tolerant. I was out back in the 60s in the south. Was accepted as well or better than other places. Years ago their was a story of one of the good ole boys being found dead in a pink night gown. When the sheriff asked about it all the other good ole boys said he was a good guy, just liked dressing up.
Truth is there are places in any city that one would not be smart to go. As for police I don't think they enforce any of the crossdressing as masking anywhere in the country anymore. I don't wear dresses anymore, nor try to pass for the most part. But I wear fem clothes with bra most everywhere. If you are driving a rig, I can't tell you how the truckers will treat you. If you stop at nice looking gas stations where people are getting gas you should be ok. Skip the ones with people hanging out.

[andreanna]

Excuse me Liz, but some of us truckers are dressers too,

[Happygirl!]

Just be careful, and don't date someone's 14 year old daughter, like that guy from Alabama :)

[Allison Chaynes]

You'll be just fine. I managed a shop in Arkansas for eight years for one of the nation's largest transportation companies, we had several CD and trans drivers (one even wrote a book called Confessions of a Female Truck Driver) and they were treated respectfully just like everyone else. Contrary to the narrative pushed by outsiders, the overwhelming majority of people down South are not toothless, racist rednecks looking to string people up for being different as banjos play in the background. We also have electricity and indoor plumbing, believe it or not.

*edit: comments do not apply to Tuscaloosa, AL, where Ancestry and Match.com are the same website.

[tylia]

Contrary to the narrative pushed by outsiders, the overwhelming majority of people down South are not toothless, racist rednecks looking to string people up for being different as banjos play in the background. We also have electricity and indoor plumbing, believe it or not.


Sorry gurls.....i just made a mental picture and it made me laugh

[Stephanie47]

I think the only issue which will arise is the fact you do not know the territory. When my wife and I lived in New York City her out of town west coast friends would camp in our livingroom. Sometimes they expressed a desire to go to some parts of town sightseeing with a camera. Being a tourist looking at the local folks is an intrusion. High crime rate areas. All I could say is "You want to go where?" At that time the crime statistics for some areas was 25% robbery and assault rates for the inhabitants, let alone tourists strolling the streets. Every place is going to have some intolerant idiots willing to act on their prejudices. Just be careful and plan your trip.

[Tracii G]

Your concern about the police well then do some legal leg work and see what the laws are for each state you pass thru.
I know here in Ky there is a fairness clause in the law. Trans and Gay people are protected just like everyone else.
Most police are very professional and are trained on how to handle trans people and they do with respect.They don't really care how you dress just don't rob the Wells Fargo stagecoach as it comes thru town or rob the chuckwagon of its grits.
Remember the rest of the country is not like the northeast its way better and people are actually nice to each other.
You may want to stay LOLOL.
Now way way down the Keys is very different and that is where I would watch everything I own.

[BillieS]

People are nice in the South.

People are also nice in the northeast.

I don’t think you’ll have a problem, but some legal legwork might set your mind at ease.

[Pat]

I imagine if you're going from New England to Key West you're probably going to be on the interstate most of the way. You should have no problems with people and for cop problems the general rule is "don't start none, won't be none." Have a good trip. ;)

[Heather J]

Well... I live in a southern state and although I think generaly the Police and most of the people are tolerant, Their are some people who aren't very tolerant. Remember a curtain Southern State was the first to try and pass a "Bathroom Bill" and
some southern states are still talking about it.

[ginapoodle]

My two cents: and apologies if this sounds racist, but in my opinion--reality.

Be very wary of Hispanic gang areas. Many can be viciously violent and particularly resent males expressing female energy.

Be careful out there.

[Jeri Ann]

Gina, gang areas of any ethnicity should be avoided by anyone in there right mind no matter how you are dressed.

Speaking of Hispanic, I have been in primarily Hispanic areas many times, restaurants, malls, Walmart, etc. I always feel like Gulliver in Lilliput. In some places you could do a remake of The Wizard of Oz with a cast of thousands. Lol

[docrobbysherry]

Vicky, I'm not familiar with those areas, so no advice. :straightface:

But, I AM going to nominate u for the Presidential Award for Bravery if u do it!:thumbsup:

[Tracii G]

There are places in every town you should avoid just use common sense.
If you roll down a street in a strange town and see bars on the windows and a bunch of people with red bandanas milling about you might want to turn around and go back the way you came.

[lingerieLiz]

Excuse me Liz, but some of us truckers are dressers too,

LOL I said, I can't tell you how the truckers will treat you. I do know that some truckers wear very pretty clothes. I just didn't want to promise something I didn't have experience with. The only experience I've had with truckers was way back in the 60s driving my convertible with my dress pulled up exposing lots of leg and lace hem on my slip. They seemed to really like it. More than one honked and gave me a thumbs up.

[Tracii G]

Truckers will always look at bare legs, most will honk some will be jerking their gerkin going down the road you just never know.
I have heard truckers on the CB talking about some tranny showing leg but funny thing they will speed up just to take a look and swear they aren't gay.
Truckers are great people and really don't care what you do in your own life.
I will explain why too because truckers are very independent type of people that are made of different stuff than most of the population.
They work hard every day in horrible conditions sometimes and the job is extremely dangerous.
Their mind is on their job and the last thing they are going to worry about is some CD or TG person on vacation.
40+ years trucking I think I know what I am talking about.
I saw an accident one evening involving two cars one was an elderly man and the other were two young girls but it was a young GF and her CD boyfriend.
It was out in a rural area and the truck that saw it yelled at me to pull over and help him if he needed it so I gladly did.
I called the police and he saw the young CD had cut his leg so the driver helped clean his wound and bandaged it.
He told them everything will be alright an ambulance is on the way. Never once to them did he act like the CD was anything other than female.
We headed on down the road after the police got there and he said the cute chick was a dude did you notice?
I said yeah I thought she looked nice but I thought the EMT dude was hot ( I really did ) anyway the driver said if some one is hurt or in trouble I will help anyone.
Thats just how truckers are.

[Rogina B]

You are driving down I 95 ! I assume you will be stopping for the night when you get tired. Nothing is a big deal unless you make it one.. No pitchforks and torches in sight !

[foxy bartender]

You’ll be totally fine!
Have fun, don’t speed, and you likely won’t even see any police. I live in Tennessee, and I go out dressed everyday. I also just did a drive from Monterey, California, to Nashville, on a Southern route, with my fiancé, dressed the whole time. It was an amazing trip, and I’d hate for you to miss out on having a great trip due to unfounded fear. Be yourself and have a great trip!!

[Tracii G]

Exactly Foxy bartender she should have fun and enjoy the drive.

[Lana Mae]

You should have no problems as long as you behave! The police will treat you like another human being! Sit back and enjoy the drive! Hugs Lana Mae

[Diane Taylor]

North, South, East, or West, you're taking a chance every time you go out. Just be careful.

[sherri]

I'm not aware of crossdressing still being illegal anywhere in the U.S. and a quick google doesn't turn up any red flags. Obey traffic laws and you're not likely to interact with law enforcement, but if you do you'll be treated with professional courtesy most anywhere these days. In other words, police are the least worry, ime, definitely less scary than the prospect of "redneck bullies". Probably bathroom use is your biggest concern as there are definitely some restrictive laws in some states and municipalities. In such places using the men's is probably the best bet for avoiding a scene, just be careful to avoid "bully" scenarios. Now that rest areas on major highways have been modernized all over the country, I've used those facilities many times without incident but I'm always careful to appraise the situation before getting out of the car, even going so far as to wait until foot traffic is low.

As for southern states vs anywhere else, I can say for a fact that pockets of prejudice are still very much a fact of life in the south, but political correctness has largely subdued the inclination to lash out. If you could hear them talk among themselves, however, it would make your blood run cold, and that definitely goes for gays and crossdressers. This is much more of a concern in rural areas than in more populous places; people in the latter are pretty much like people anywhere. So my advice is to avoid those little country stores etc and stick to mainstream.

[Tracii G]

Pockets of prejudice right here on this forum as well.
The south is no more dangerous and in many was a lot safer than most people think.
I slept one night in Jonesboro Ga with my truck cab unlocked nothing happened. Spent one night in a truck stop south of Detroit Mich and had 4 wheels stolen off my trailer.

[tammy1]

When my wife and I were in the south-south (mississippi). Being in a mixed relationship with out of state plates were a big red flag for all the home boys. We were followed on numerous occassions by the KKK who kept their distance but would follow relentlesly for miles and miles. When we finally got to our friends private road, thy would finally just keep going. Oviously, we were concerned and I wasn't dressed. We discovered a whole different ideology with attitued down south. We haven't been back to visit our firends and woult be down there. Be careful if you choose to CD to Florida. You don't need to make the local news but Florida is far different from Mississippi. Also, there were many very friendly people were we were in southern mississippi, so life wan't all scarry. The keyes should be a blast and you'll find the people as laid back as many in the Atlanta area. Be safe. Have fun.

Tammy

[Berinthia]

When you're driving through North Carolina, make sure you know if you want your BBQ with...or without slaw......Although I did hear they had a thing about which restroom you use.
When I was 20 I was hitch-hiking through Miami on Rte One, when I think I met my first transsexual. Unforgettable. She was in a baby-blue T-Bird and was the closest thing I've ever seen to a real live Barbie Doll. My next ride was some drunk Cuban guy who grabbed my leg.........
Be Careful, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I hitched back from Key West to DC with 20 bucks in my pocket. All the other hitchers warned me about Texas.

[Marianne S]

I am less worried about the redneck bullies at gas stations than I am about the police.

Vicky, I think you should reverse these priorities. I admit I have no experience of being stopped while driving crossdressed, and very little of driving in the South, aside from Texas, Oklahoma, and Florida, where I was never stopped. Oh, and a brief business trip to Georgia, when my colleagues were grateful I was driving because driving keeps me awake and alert when they were ready to conk out after a long day and might have been a menace on the road.

But I digress. There may or may not be "redneck bullies" lurking around, though I doubt they're limited to the South. But crossdressed or not, I would not personally worry about the police. When police stop anybody on the highway their chief worry is whether it's some flaming nutjob who's going to shoot them. If it's just an ordinary driver acting like a human being, crossdressed or not, I'm sure they're relieved. What I can say from personal experience is that I think politeness and respect will get you everywhere. It may not always get you off without a ticket, but it helps. The people who get "harassed" by police have usually--not always, but uaually--done something to provoke it. So I wouldn't fear the police. Just be yourself and act natural.



Kelly there are a heck of a lot intolerant people up in New England. [...]

I really get offended when people from the north east consider the southerners to be backwards, ignorant and think the civil war is still going on.

Well, Tracii, I regret to say the Civil War is still going on! Except that it's largely (though not exclusively) people up in the Northeast who are still waging it.

I can't help contrasting the vindictiveness certain people are displaying toward the Old South just recently with the generosity of spirit shown by General Grant and other Northern officers a century and half ago when they took Lee's surrender at Appomattox in 1865. The Confederate officers were allowed to keep their swords, as a mark of respect for a battle fought with honor. More important for practical purposes, any Southerner who claimed to own a horse was allowed to keep it--because they knew he would need it for the spring plowing. In a land ravaged by war, many would be starving, and Southerners needed all the help they could get. As Churchill remarked about a later war: "In victory, magnanimity."

Contrary to the magnanimity shown toward the defeated South on that occasion long ago, I am shocked today to see a number of petty-minded and spiteful people for whom mere victory was still not good enough, who are so pumped up with manufactured grievances, obsessed with insane hatred of a land long "gone with the wind" that they must tear down the statues of Lee and other brave men who fought so well to defend their homeland. These aggressors have little understanding of human history, and no respect for it. Worse still, it wasn't good enough for them just to win the Civil War; like bullies, they have to kick their opponents when they're down and won't be satisfied until they've dishonored them by trampling them into the dirt. That's just plain sadism, an attitude I despise.

My father fought the Germans and was wounded with a leg full of shrapnel, but he never hated Germans after the war. I regret to say we're seeing very different attitudes today. There may be "tolerance" in some segments of society for certain things precious to us, especially our gender differences. Yet I'm sorry to say this "tolerance" has been counterbalanced in an unhealthy way by intolerance in other spheres of life.

Above all, I can't help remembering that Southerners, contrary to this "redneck" image, had always been renowned (rightly or wrongly) for "good manners." Some of the people we're hearing from today, with their attitudes toward the South, ought to learn some "manners," and most of all some respect.

[Vickie_CDTV]

As someone who lives in the northeast, I can tell you there is "intolerance" in areas in New England as well.

Just use common sense, and treat others as you would want to be treated, and most will be happy to leave you be.

As far as the restrooms go along your trip, there are plenty of resources online to find safe single user/unisex restrooms along your route.

[Tracii G]

Just don't ask for directions in the northeast I have done it several times because I was truly and lost guess what tolerance I got ?
WTH is wrong with you are you a moron go buy a map you jerk leave me the hell alone.
That lady was every bit of 80 years old that treated me like that.
There are nice people everywhere sure but 90% of the jerks are in East Baltimore and Boston.
There is a long story that goes with that old lady and her MFing shopping cart full of groceries. Film at 11:00.
Not sure why New England is like that but it is.

[lingerieLiz]

As for southern states vs anywhere else, I can say for a fact that pockets of prejudice are still very much a fact of life in the south, but political correctness has largely subdued the inclination to lash out. If you could hear them talk among themselves, however, it would make your blood run cold, and that definitely goes for gays and crossdressers. This is much more of a concern in rural areas than in more populous places; people in the latter are pretty much like people anywhere. So my advice is to avoid those little country stores etc and stick to mainstream.

Sherri, i've lived and traveled in the south for 60 years. I have friends in several states and have attended parties, weddings in city and rural areas. Worst experience i'v had relative of CDing was in the Detroit area. Second worst was SanFrancisco by a couple of gay guys. So bad things can happen anywhere. Most of the little country stores just want to sell merchandise. When I was doing some work in Alabama I went to one a couple times a day to get gas and a coke. The girls there liked several of my tops. None of the guys bothered me. But not every store is equal.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm a native Bostonian, married a native Floridian who I met in St. Louis.

I've lived in northern Virginia for 33 years, like half a lifetime. I'm member of a local trans group that can get close to 100 girls together for a GNO.

I assume that you will be primarily be driving on 95. I still have relatives in the Boston area and my wife has relatives in the Florida area. I guess at one time or another, I've driven 95 from Portland Maine to Miami Florida. I've also driven from Miami to Key West a few times. I don't think you'll have any problems on 95. I think your biggest might be which rest room at the rest stops. Either one could be pretty dangerous if you're not careful. I think any father would be willing to go to jail, if you catch my drift, to protect his daughters. I remember one rest stop where a mom and dad let their 3 girls go ahead of the restroom. My wife and I were returning to our car from the restrooms where we had noticed a guy suspiciously hanging around the restrooms. We all took care to stay together for safety, and we felt obligated to tell the mom and dad about the suspicious guy. They immediately left to catch up with their daughters.

Do you want to be the guy called out as as being suspicious because you're wearing a dress.

I'm not trying to be alarmist, but make sure you think about everything from cops to rest stops to restaurants to gas stations to checking into hotels.

And, sorry ladies, but Mississippi is an exception. When my wife and I drove from St. Louis to New Orleans, I made my wife drive through Mississippi. At that time, I still had a Boston accent that I couldn't turn off, and my wife had a southern accent that she could on or off at will. If we were stopped by a cop in Mississippi, she could talk southern and blink her eyes and get off with a warning whereas I would get to visit a small town judge. Or least that's what I thought.

[NicoleScott]

Steffi, you didn't say that you actually had an incident in Mississippi.. The precautions you took only reinforced your unfounded fears.
Of course it's always a good idea for everyone, crossdressed or not, to be cautious when traveling to/through unfamiliar territory. Common sense.
If you hold onto old stereotypes, listen to the fearmongers, and you are scared to dress when traveling through the South, don't. Wear guy clothes or stay up north.

[foxy bartender]

I think that some of y’all are still caught up in the way things used to be. Be respectful, act respectful, and of course, be careful, but driving through the south is no big deal. I’m sorry that some of y’all had been treated with intolerance in the south, but mostly, times have changed. In the south, they will most certainly talk about anyone and everyone different, but after you leave. In the north, they will just talk smack to your face, no matter how rude. That’s a big part of why I moved south. Just my opinion, ymmv

[Krisi]

Don't do it! Lots of us "rednecks" still running around in white sheets and pointy hats! You'll never make it. You'll end up swinging from a tree!

Seriously, I can't believe the question was even posted and worse, some of the responses. Gangs? Seriously?

Knowing that you don't pass, it's hard for me to imagine what joy you would get from 20 -30 hours of driving dressed as a woman, knowing you'll have to get out of the car to use the restroom, buy gas and meals and check into a couple of motels, but if you choose to do it, it won't be any different than anywhere else in the USA.

[Pat]

OK this has turned largely into regional intolerance, which means we're out of practical advice for the OP -- thread closed.