What would recommend to someone just coming to terms with themselves ..

[~Renee~]

This question is geared to those like myself who are in the final stages of making peace with themselves, aka I give up to resisting. A place where many of you were years ago.

1. For those in a relationship, what is the best thing you did to integrate the true you with your SO
2. What turned out really bad and should be avoided
3. What was the most liberating thing you did for yourself
4. Anything else

~Renee~

[CarlaWestin]

This is such a broad and generalized inquiry, it's difficult to tell what you are asking. I believe the broad brush here is that only time will reveal the outcome of the decisions that you conclude.
It is quite the liberating moment when you realize that you are transgender and that is just the truth. Acceptance? That's a whole other matter. What you've become comfortable with sometimes just isn't acceptable
by someone else. The most liberating thing I've ever done is align myself with the truth in every aspect of life and focusing on getting to the heart of the matter in every situation.

[bridget thronton]

If I had to pick one thing - it would be telling my family about my cross dressing. I might have done it sooner - but glad I did.

[Kelly DeWinter]

1. For those in a relationship, what is the best thing you did to integrate the true you with your SO
Be honest and upfort
2. What turned out really bad and should be avoided
Nothing really
3. What was the most liberating thing you did for yourself
Stop worrying about what others thought, fear and anxiety dissipated and enjoyment of life returned
4. Anything else
No one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them permission to.

[docrobbysherry]

For me it was getting over my guilt of dressing! Thinking I was doing "something wrong" did not allow me to openly dress.:sad:

But, I overcame the hurdle, more or less, about 8 years ago. And, a whole new world of meeting Trans at T events around the country opened up to me!:hugs::drink:

[Taylor186]

The best thing I did was tell my wife. Its been over twenty years now and she has developed a level of tolerance that I thought not possible in the beginning. The second best thing was to join a social/support group. There is nothing like meeting crossdressers like yourself to better learn where you fit on the spectrum.

[Tracii G]

I would suggest a trans group in your area that way you can get one on one answers.
If you think there isn't one close to you just google LGBT in what ever town you are in and search trans groups.
Joining a group was one if the best things I did to help me figure out who I was and how to interact with others.
You can even ask your SO to go with you so you feel safer.
There is no black and white answer to all of your questions because it depends on your personal situation. What may be right for me may not work for you.
Its a daunting thing you are going thru and we all understand but the journey you take is all up to you.
We are here to help if we can so asking questions is always the right thing to do because that is how we learn.

[Aunt Kelly]

While I can speak authoritatively only for myself, I believe that I can honestly condense the remarkably consistent opinions of the many, many girls here who have been through the process in which you now find yourself.
To answer your questions, in order:

1. Be honest and open. If there is to be progress in your relationship, and by that I mean with your TG nature being something you no longer hide in shame, you must find a way to share it with your SO. You may not find the accommodation completely to your liking, or you may be delightfully surprised.

2. Be honest and open. Yes, it is a two edged sword. If the accounts here are any indication, coming out to one's SO is often the beginning of the end of that relationship. Regardless of the outcome, that act of sharing will change your relationship. Even if it doesn't end it, it may move things to an icy, don't ask - don't tell place. On the other hand, it might result in a level of emotional intimacy that most couples can scarcely conceive of.

The only certain outcome of not coming out is to continue in the relationship while hiding a huge secret about yourself from the one you love, running the risk of that deception eventually coming to light. That scenario usually ends poorly, not always, but enough so that my choice would be to come out sooner rather than later.

3. Not a lot of consensus one this one, at least with regard to specific actions that led to the "liberation" you ask about. For me, it was a simple act of will. I say "simple" because it was just that, a single, conscious decision to accept and embrace this part of me, but please don't think that my path was henceforth "simple". I am out only to my spouse and my closest friends. My career and social standing would be affected if the world knew about me, but that's OK. I can live that part of my life in boy mode without any significant amount of distress, but I am always aware that my expression is not always aligned with who I am. On the other hand, being gender-fluid, "who I am" often does not line up with who I think I am, but that is, as they say in these parts, "a whole n'other discussion".
I could probably have arrived at that decision much sooner had I sought professional counseling or a support group. Collective experience in this forum would bear that out, although again, that is not universally so.

4. In the end, I think it was my stubborn/rebellious nature that allowed me to take all that I've learned intellectually about my TG nature and incorporate it on an emotional level, simply deciding that I would no longer feel bad, or guilty, or something less than because of it.

Hugs,


Kelly

[Micki_Finn]

It depends a LOT on what you mean by “give up resisting”. Do you mean you’re just telling her you crossdress occasionally? That you want to dress full time? That you want to transition?

[Tracii G]

As you will find out there is no clear cut answer for any of your questions you just have to work thru each situation and do whats best for you.

[Dana44]

Be honest with your SO. and nothing bad. also buy stuff for you. do not use hers.

[~Renee~]

It depends a LOT on what you mean by “give up resisting”. Do you mean you’re just telling her you crossdress occasionally? That you want to dress full time? That you want to transition?

I have done the best I can controlling my emotions regarding this journey, but I have reached a point where Im saying why am I resisting everything except the bare minimum for sanity. I do have reason to approach my growth cautiously since I know the intense satisfaction that happens. Im going slow since I joined here and have a vision of where I want to go this year. I no longer fear the pink fog clouding my judgement thanks to many answers I have received, but I know the potential that rattles around in my head.

Support group - To be honest, I never really thought of a support group. I do know they exist in my area.