Do you think it's stupid

[Maria 60]

My wife is not a Valentine type women, she believes it's forced love and that people should show there love anytime not on a specific day. But I believe it doesn't hurt to buy a thought today, I bought my wife flowers that I do on many occasions and from Maria I bought her a charm I knew she wanted.
I'm just wondering and would like to ask, was it stupid that I gave her a card with the charm thanking her from Maria, for the support and exceptiing etc.
I don't know if it was stupid putting Maria, almost like a second party or like a real person. She didn't say anything, but after I did it I don't know why but I wasn't sure if it was a proper thing.
Just wondering.

[Lana Mae]

Not sure of your situation nor how the wife might take it, but if the thought was sincere and she accepted it without a negative response-not stupid! I personally think it was sweet! Hugs Lana Mae

[Sami Brown]

It sounds okay to me. Would you have done something like this on a day other than Valentine's?

I am like you, and don't like to be forced to be romantic on Valentine's Day. I feel there should be effort every day.

Sami

[Jaylyn]

Sounds romantic to me and that's what Valentine's Day should be.

[BillieS]

I think it’s sweet!

[Dana44]

I think you did well. it was a sweet.

[Tina B.]

I think it's sweet. My wife gets presents, and cards from both her husband, and Tina, her girl friend. She loves it! I show my wife love daily but still enjoy things like Valentines day, just to make a fuss over her. It's not forced, or phony, if you mean it, and enjoy doing it.
And because she loves the special attention, she insisted I spend the day dressed in a cute Valentine outfit. So it is a win/win for everybody.

[lingerieLiz]

I have a different perspective than some here. It solely depends on your wife's feelings. First if she doesn't like Valentine gifts and you get her something that is fine. If she doesn't refer to you as Maria and/or is not a fan of your dressing then it was not a good move. I would suggest you use your real name. If on the other hand she has adopted Maria as your fem name and uses it when referring to you it will be OK.

[Stephanie47]

I know from reading your threads your wife is somewhat encouraging. I'm in a DADT marriage, so my wife would not appreciate getting a gift from Stephanie. If she believes it's forced love to buy a Valentine's Day gift, I'd think she would feel this display of affection is somewhat misplaced. I would not think this was how you and her celebrated your first Valentine's Day. Most women I know get a little miffed when the only days their husband's pay attention to them is Valentine's Day or some other holiday promoted by Hallmark.

[Alice_2014_B]

I believe it's the thought that really counts.
:)

[bridget thronton]

Very thoughtful thing to do

[Rayleen]

I guess it all depends on your relationship, not stupid but I would rather not .
Hug, Rayleen

[Beverley Sims]

Purely depends on your relationship, as long as it was appreciated.

I can buy my wife chocolates or flowers anytime.

Valentines day is not extra special here.

If you are courting someone it can be a romantic reward. :-)

[foxy bartender]

That sounds very sweet. I thank my fiancé every day for her support, and she always appreciates it. I’m sure that she understands that you’re just feeling thankful to have her support in your life.

[Sarasometimes]

Only you know your wife well enough to possibly figure this out. I think the question is that she supports Maria but maybe she wants the romance to come from you as her husband. To me that is the question. Based on her sort of tepid response, maybe next time (before not Valentine's day) you give her two things to her as her husband. The other aspect is the flower from you as her husbnad will sadly wilt and be thrown away, but each time she dons the charm, it may remind her it was from Maria.
my 2cents

[CarlaWestin]

Well, first of all stupid is a horrible word. Especially when referring to yourself. I think what you did was loving, kind , respectful and thoughtful. My wife and I show affection on a continuous basis and Valentine's day has been made more fun by coloring outside the lines. Of course, that makes everything more fun, right? Last night is was a toss up between our favorite asian dive for Spam with curry and rice or, gourmet corndogs from a food truck with ketchup hearts for taking selfies. Spam won. Mmmmm!
You seem too concerned about doing the right thing and I would think that with age and wisdom you can realize that life is really short. And practically everything becomes the right thing.

[Krisi]

I think Valentine's Day is just one of many "holidays" promoted to sell products. Cards, flowers, jewelry, etc. This puts us in the position where we are the bad guy if we don't buy our wives or girlfriends something.

I woke up yesterday morning and found two cards from my wife to me. I had to get dressed and go to the store and buy two for her. $30 wasted (for both sets). At this point in our marriage we should each know our relationship, we don't need cards.

[Robertacd]

It will be 24 years this summer and and wife an I still exchange Valentines and chocolates (used to be cards, chocolates, and lingerie but we both have enough of that now) I really enjoy it and I take extra time and care picking out just the right card as even though I tell my wife I love her every day it's still not enough.

So no I don't think what you did was stupid at all, in fact it was a beautiful gesture on Maria's part.

[Rollermiss]

I tend to agree with Krisi. A retail Holiday meant to make money for companies. How ever both of us gave Valentines to the girls. My wife got one too, and some new lingerie. Yesterday I woke to a card and lingerie also to Kelsey from my wife. She had an early shift, and was gone when I woke. I had to wait to try mine on until after I got the girls off to school. I tend to agree also with Maria. As it shouldn't be just one day on thinks about the love/s in ones life. I guess Kelsey is a hopeless romantic as any day I can give my wife flowers or candy or :devil::devil:

Kelsey

[Tracii G]

Maria it all depends on your wife and how she sees it.
Hopefully she won't feel like she has to compete with "the other woman".
In all honesty you are asking a bunch of men that are trying to think like women so the answers will be off because men don't think like women even if they are dressed as one.

[Micki_Finn]

It all depends on the dynamic in play. Do you consider Maria a separate person? Does your wife? If you both regularly “Third person” Maria, or if your wife does, or if you do and your wife knows about it, then no, it’s fine. If not, then it’s a little weird.

[Devi SM]

Not a stupid thing. It's just the"other you talking"
It's good to try things like that on the couple.
Better be honest than keep secrets but not abound to much and see the response...