Missed opportunity

[Jennifer W]

I don't post here often but I am here at least twice a day lurking. LOL!
Anyway I was doing errands today while my wife was at work. One errand brought me close to a Dress Barn. I did my errand and put the bag of stuff in my car. I sat a moment looking at DB. I was in drab but had a bra and panties on as they are my daily wear. I went in the store and the very nice SA asked me if I needed help. I told her I was looking for a pair of jeans. She asked me if I knew "her" size. I said that they were for me. The other SA nearby said sorry sir but we only have women's clothes here.
I told her yes I know. She said well okay do you know your size in women's? To which I replied no. The first SA said they wouldn't know where to start. The second SA said I could always try them on. After a couple of tries we determined I needed size 8 in petite. Size 10 was just a bit big. Unfortunately they didn't have any size 8 in stock. She told me I was welcome to come back anytime.

Then as I was driving home I thought to myself I should have told the SA's about CDers. I could have educated them and probably made a couple of new friends. It's a half hour drive from my house to the store so I will definitely return there to shop. Hopefully one or both of the ladies will be working and I can educate them a bit.

Jennifer W

[RainbowDash]

Jennifer at least u have the courage to shop in stores. The only feminine things I buy in a store are at Wal-mart and that's just pantyhose and panties. Everything else I buy online, but I've been doing this for less than a year and a half, so hopefully I'll be brave enough soon to go into stores and try dresses on.
As for these ladies who helped you out, you are absolutely right, they do need to be educated and realize that the world is changing. From what u said they seemed to be polite and were willing to help you out. I watched a tv show called "What would you do", and in 1 episode's scenario a t-girl/CDer goes into the store to buy women's clothes. The SA flat out told her she wasn't going to sell her anything, and bystanders intervened and told her she can shop in here if she wants, and she can wear what she wants, and who is the SA or anyone else to tell her otherwise.

[jacques]

hello Jennifer,
I think you have already educated them!
luv J

[Diane1950]

Unfortunately, the Dress Barn stores in my area have all closed. But I shopped there several times, and came away with the impression that they were tuned in to crossdressers.

[Julia1984]

In any other walk of life. Would you give two hoots for the opinion of an SA in a Dressbarn? If No, then ask yourself why, in this context, it's different.

[Zoeytgtx]

All of the stores in the Dallas area seemed to be tuned in to the fact that "other girls" wanted to shop in their stores. Have had nothing but good luck shopping at DB online and in person.
They are also in the process of renaming the stores from Dressbarn to Roz & Ali. Just because a store closes in your are doesn't mean they are gone at all. They may be reopening in a new location under the new name. It has recently started in Texas.

[docrobbysherry]

Why would anyone want to, "know about CD's"? U could have told them u were one, Jennifer. But, shoving info down folk's throats is not my cup of tea.:straightface:

On the other hand, if they ask questions, any of us should be ready to answer them. It's important to let those open to learn that we r just like their neighbors. Except we may dress as females at times!:heehee:

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm actually kind of surprised.

I've always had excellent service at DB, and I've make purchases at several different stores. The SAs have been more that helpful, but I've always gone in with a pretty good idea of my size.

Once, when I was traveling in Houston, I even went into an upscale boutique. An SA came right up to me and asked if she could help me. I told her that I was looking at the embroidered jeans in the window. She asked me what size "she" was. I told her that they were actually for me, and that I was a 10 or a 12. She picked out a couple of pair for me and I asked if I could try them on. She got right with the program and led me to a dressing room. It turned out that she got me a 12 and a 14. I was swimming in the 14, an even the 12 was large. When she came back to see how I was doing, I was going to ask her to get me a size 10. but then I looked at the price tag and they were $150. I told her that I just noticed the price and that they were way too expensive for me. Even though I was having fun, I knew that there was no way that I would buy them, and I didn't want to waste her time. But after I told her that, she starting justifying the price to me. I told her that I understood that they were worth it, but I still couldn't afford them.

[lingerieLiz]

I went in one several months ago. The two clerks were more interested in their conversation. Manager came out and joined them. I never found anything I was interested in so I left.

Several years ago I went in one and a nice SA asked what I was interested in. I said black slacks. She showed me where they were, but I didn't find any I was interested in. I was looking at a dress and she asked if I was interested in it. And, asked what size I needed. Unfortunately they didn't have my size.

[suzanne]

It sounds like the SAs were completely flatfooted in dealing with you, and thats kind of a rarity these days. I've heard of a lot of good Dress Barn outings by others, and I've had nothing but good experiences myself. So I'm sorry to hear yours was so bad. Maybe you're right when you say a little education was in order, but i wouldn't worry about it. I think the best education you can give people is your own good example, and you did that by being unruffled in the face of poor customer service.

[Asew]

I don't think you needed to go any further, they definitely learned that guys can wear those clothes too.

It's better than what I did like 15 years ago in a body shop (looking to buy some fragrant body wash) and the sales associate told me they only carry products for women and the only possible thing a man could use was one of their loofahs. I just walked out and have never entered the body shop again.

[CarlaWestin]

Hmm? It's 2018 and two SA's at Dress Barn are clueless about gender fluidity. I can't believe that their behavior was anything other than selective discrimination.
I wonder what the corporate policy is toward transgender customers and why these two were playing the clueless routine?

[Princess Chantal]

Are sales attendants supposed to assume that men shopping at women based clothing stores are crossdressers or transgender persons? Or assume that everyone knows that the store only offers women based clothing?

[CONSUELO]

From your description it seems that they were just ignorant of the existence of a community of cross dressers. They were pleasant and polite so that was positive. Rather than go back on a special mission to "educate" them, why not wait until you next wish to buy something there and in the process casually introduce them to the experience of cross dressing.
By the way, congratulations on being a size 8. Many of us on this site would love to be that size.

[Jennifer W]

From your description it seems that they were just ignorant of the existence of a community of cross dressers. They were pleasant and polite so that was positive. Rather than go back on a special mission to "educate" them, why not wait until you next wish to buy something there and in the process casually introduce them to the experience of cross dressing.
By the way, congratulations on being a size 8. Many of us on this site would love to be that size.
Exactly Consuelo. I felt very comfortable in my shopping experience. They were both very kind and explained to me that the women's clothing was cut different and I may not get a good fit. I told them that I understood that. That's when the first one said I could try them on if I would like. The second one said definitely I could try on anything I wanted to. They both went through the racks looking for what they thought would be my size. They started with a 12. They were way too big as well as too long. They then said I needed petite. I tried 6 and 10 and neither fit. They checked all the racks and back room stock for 8 and couldn't find any. So one said to go online and order some and I said I would rather come back and try them on when they had some in stock. She said to come back near the end of next week if I was in the area and they should have some in stock. I plan on going next Friday to see if they are both working.

[SherriePall]

My local Dress Barn is tuned in. At least to me and I doubt I am their only special customer. Planning to hit the store sometime this week.

[phylis anne]

hmmm ,yes in some cases a womens pair of pants fit me better than the mens do , of course hrt might have something to do with that lol up here in wash state our db's are tuned in too I a normally a boots and jeans girl but annother dressing companion goaded e into a dress barn ,while I was there a s/a came over and asked if she could help I said my friend thinks I need a skirt ,but added I do not think I have the legs for it ,she replied there is only one way to find out and off we went she and my friend went like wow the s/a replied that if I was self conscious of my legs to wear some stockings or even leggings so they get my vote for a return

[abby054]

My local Dress Barn was a joy to shop at. Drab or femme, no problem. They would start a dressing room when they saw me coming. Here, unfortunately, Dress Barn WAS and is no more. Sigh...

[AndreaCalifCD]

There's a DB that's literally a couple of miles from me - too close in other words! There seems to be a fairly frequent turn over of "general" SA's, but the girl cashier and the manager have remained the same. All of the SA's have been friendly and accommodating, even to the point of remembering when I've looked for something that wasn't in the stock at the time and was there when I next shopped, and got my size for me!. They even signed me up for their frequent buyer thingie. You'd think brink n mortar stores would want every customer they can get these days. If they're not up to par, a letter/email to DB HQ might help. Or just shop another DB store (if there is one)/somewhere else

[Glenda58]

Dress barn was my favor I would go in try on things. SA would bring things for me to try on knowing I was going to buy something before I left. But alas they closed the store. They opened a new one a year later near me but I haven't been there to try anything lately.

[Beverley Sims]

Jennifer,
Dress Barn is already sympathetic to people like us, I have not tried them myself.

My favourite place is Ross especially the one near Fisherman's Wharf in San Fran.

A great place and they have always been encouraging to me.

[Brynna M]

Doesn’t seem like they needed much educating. They treated you like any other customer. I’m also really jealous you wear a size 8

[Stephanie Kimberlie]

How true.

[Sarasometimes]

They were a bit slow on the uptake but they got past that very quickly and then helped you, so my guess is for these two SA's you may have been their first or they wanted to be on the "safe side" (Kinda like juming the gun on whether a women is pregnant) and not assume you knew they only sold women's clothes. Once you clarified that they went to work.
My many DB experiences have been usually been a bit smoother but like any chain there will be variations. VS is usually good too but I have had some really confrontations in a few of their locations, so you YMMV from shop to shop.
I agree with Doc, I don't think you needed to educate and I don't unless I'm asked, flat out.

[Tracy Irving]

Size eight must be very popular. I could save a lot of money if I was that thin.