Fear

[carolyn todd]

I have been out and about dress today before i go on holiday trying to get my rambling down on my phone.

this is a note to others
FEAR
i can go out any day dress as Carolyn leave home dress and returning home ok,
i travel by public transport buses and ferry's i have no fear no worry's
where ever i go weather it's out on the island, to Portsmouth or Southampton town
walking around going into shops buying something,eating a meal or going for a walk.
i am going on holiday tomorrow morning (19th February) i will be dress as Carolyn
from as soon as i am dress in the morning until i return home again in two weeks PLUS
i will be Carolyn all the time i have no fear.
what i FEAR and i mean FEAR is telling my friends or them find out what i do when i tell them that i am
OUT AND UP TO MISCHIEF, i am worried that i will lose the friends that me and the wife have had i think that if and when it happens i might
some and gain more ,but i will be out tar'd and feather.
going out dressed is like a drug it gives me such a high that when i am out as Carolyn i cannot help breaking out with the biggest smiles and laugh (giggles)
i have no one with me, i will telephone people when i am out just so i have somebody to talk to.
sometimes other people will catch me smiling and they tend to smile as well.
how can you tell people, friends and family that what i (and properly million others around the world) do by dressing in the clothes of the female sex
(they are female clothes and they are my female clothes)
we find a state of pleasure, happiness and paradise in what we do.
i think that's why it makes me smile so much is because people around me don't know what's under these clothes.

i don't think of my self as a transexual just a common old crossdressers who doe's not pass but it's b y fun doing it.

Carolyn

i don't know when i will get back to the forum but it will be as soon as i can.

[Tracii G]

You are living with the fear that what you are doing is wrong thats all.
You are not so have fun.
If your friends find out and decide not to be your friends they weren't true friends anyway.

[Pat]

Some people come out to the people close to them first and then the world at large, some come out to the world at large first and then the folks close to them. (I came out to the world before I came out to my family.) I wouldn't worry too much about it. In both cases, I think you gradually come to terms with who you are and then realize you *can't* be anyone else -- at that point you come out to the other folks and the job's done. ;)

Relax, enjoy your vacation.

[Jaylyn]

I think Pat hit on the point that this is who we are and one finally comes to terms with it. I also think that many on here never reach the point where they can come to terms with it. I've tried to hide my dressing and have told myself I was going to stop, i have stopped for a year or two several times but it always comes back it seems stronger than when I quit. I know I'll never be out and I can live with that and what it might do to or affect my children's lives and my grand kids so I will be always a closet dresser. Everyone has to find their place in the CD world.

[NicoleScott]

Coming to terms with it doesn't require coming out.

[Tracii G]

Thats true Nicole.
You can come to terms with it and not tell anyone and stay in the closet if that is what you want.
There are no rules in this game.

[sometimes_miss]

If your friends find out and decide not to be your friends they weren't true friends anyway.
Easy to suggest, until you have no friends left at all. Unless you're a social butterfly, it's not always easy to make a bunch of new friends when you're a crossdresser. Even harder to create another whole family if the ones you have don't like associating with what they think is a 'pervert', either.

While most people today will tolerate our existence, most of 'em would rather not associate with us. OH, they'll be perfectly civil to our faces, but we won't be invited to babysit their kids anytime soon.

Don't burn your bridges until you have another way off the island. Nobody wants to be an isolated castaway.

[Beverley Sims]

Carolyn, My fear would be living on the Isle Of Wight.

Going to the mainland would allay all my fears as I would have left the close knit community.

[Stephanie Kimberlie]

So very true !