Does your wife/partner know your "She Name"?

[tammy1]

After 30+ years of marriage, my wife and i have been through ups/downs and in betweens. Yet it still amaizes me at the openness we both have shared throughout the years. My wife has been supportive of my CD enjoyment and as she has adjusted has become even more supportive. Over this last weekend during a conversation, my wife asked me if i had a "She Name"? i told her i had chosen one and when she asked what is was, i told her. She smiled; didn't seem overly surprized, then commented that she liked it! Tammy! i had a chance to further tell her about our site and that she might find some answers and support from other wives who are members here. She may check it our or not. i'd be willing to bet she will and probably join after creating an alias. We talked for some time and it felt good to know that there were no secrets here.

Are you in a similar situation? What kind of responses did your other half have? Maybe you can't be as open? I'm sure there are a variety of interesting stories behind (no pun) many of the "She Names" here at home...

tammy

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Tammy
Yes, my wife knows. We have a friend with the same name so she found that amusing.

Elizabeth

[Diane Taylor]

my name Diane was no secret and it wasn't a problem. I was asked if it was a name of someone I know (might have thought it was a girlfriend) but I said No, it's just a name I like and that was it.

[Dana44]

Indeed, she does know my she name. And has used it out when i am fem out.

[Laura912]

Knows it. Uses it. It was actually her grand mother's name but that is not why it was picked.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

my wife when i first came out to her found my out my femme name on this site, now she is tolerant and if we are out dressed she calls me Giselle

[sara66]

My wife does not know. She has never asked and I have never mentioned it.
Sara

[Zoeytgtx]

The night that I told her I dressed, of all the things that she could have asked. Asking my girl name was the first question.
I always though that was strange.....l

[Rayleen]

Wife never ask me, we never had that conversation but knows I am on this chat group.

Hug Rayleen

[Leslie Langford]

Although we are very much in a DADT situation, my wife knows of "Leslie" and who "she" is.

Interestingly enough, the very few times that we do talk about my crossdressing (usually in a less-than-happy context), she seems to have no problem speaking of "her" as if she were a real live person, and - apparently without thinking - defaults to the proper gender-appropriate pronouns when doing so as well.

[Andrea Renea]

Yes she does. Sometimes calls me Andrea when Im in drab mode.

[Jane G]

Yup she does.:)

[DanielleDubois]

I brought up with my wife several years ago about having a girl name and she wasn't interested plain and simple. I thought it would be convenient for when shopping I could say I think Danielle would like that or I could talk about having a Danielle day instead of calling it the generic dressup day. I decided it was not worth discussing further considering how tolerant she is of Danielle...er, I mean me.:)

[Harriettes]

No she does not and can not know. Harriette was a dancer that I lived with before I met my wife. My wife met her and still thinks that I carry a torch for her. BTW I used to dress in Harriette's leotards and tights almost every day. What ever happened to leotards?

[Sami Brown]

My wife asked whether I had one when I told her what I was doing on my phone, which was typing a reply to a thread on this site. This was about a month ago.

Sami

[April Rose]

My wife knew about my cross dressing before we were married. It wasn't until she decided to join a forum that I was on previously, that I told her the name I was using. At home I never used a separate femme name, because, in the first place, I have always felt like the same person, dressed or not, and in the second place, the diminutive of my male name is androgynous. It wasn't until I was well along my journey as a life long crossdresser that I realized that the younger generation's term "Gender Fluid" applied to me. I only chose the femme name because the site required it. It has come to suit me.

She was fine with it, as far as the site was concerned , but still only refers to me as the diminutive of my male name. I still use the name April on my other interactions, such as "First Event" and when I am at the Tiffany club.

Basically, I am not two people, I am one. Sometimes I do embroidery in pants or work on my bikes in a skirt.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Ah, no. My wife does not know my girl name. That's what DNDT is for. Buy, I'd be glad to tell her if she asks me.

[Tina June]

I told her my first choice fem name years ago, she did not like it, so I haven't used it around her since.

[LaSirenaBella]

My wife definitely knows. She’s the one who suggested I come up with an alternate name, ostensibly for needed layers of anonymity at the time. My birth name is gender-neutral (leans feminine), and I use it on limited occasion while in girl-mode.

I think she still needs to separate my outward presentations and the names help her.

[LeannS]

My wife thought Leann was an ex and wanted to know why I was sending pictures to her. I then explained Leann was me and all she said was interesting and hasn't said anything else and that was 8 months ago

[CarlaWestin]

Wife does not know. And that's a good thing. Daughter uses it like it's another person that's a bonus to having a Dad.

[BillieS]

She knows and uses it. Of course it’s not so different from my male name, but still ...

[JulesLynne]

In all honesty, I’m not all that connected to my name. When I’m dressed, I’m still OK with being called by my normal name or using any gender pronouns. However, I have sent my wife a few emails from my fem account, and she’s aware but hasn’t really told me whether or not she likes it or hates it.

However, I always love the idea of her participating and encouraging me, so using a girl name or even giving me a name would be kinda cool.

[Rollermiss]

Being my wife supports my dressing and we go out as often as we can. Always when out of town. So she does know Kelsey. Even my 7 year old daughters know Kelsey. or just plan Daddy. LOL.

Kelsey

[2B Natasha]

Am I in a similar situation in regards to my SO just finding out my woman name? No. She has known since I figured out what it is. Honestly it was a different name for awhile. Her response to the name was not memorable. As in. It's just a name and she uses it when we go out sometimes but not that often. She doesn’t hate it. She just sees me, as I do as the same person no matter how I’m dressed. We use the female name mainly when we are out in boy girl mode and we are trying to keep it private. Or she’ll use it at home to give me a ribbing about cloths or mannerisms or what I’m watching. Like the red carpet for the Oscars and I recall a dress form years ago that is similar.

This name thing has been a merry go round. Do I really need one? Am I not the same person no matter how I dress? My wife sees me as the same person. I see myself as the same person. I act the same. I bit overly masculine in femme form and I would think a bit femme mannerisms in man mode. Plus I am not married to my given name at all. Call me what you want mostly. I think that stems from having a brother with a very similar sounding name and people getting out names mixed up since I can remember.

Cheers

[faltenrock]

Mine does not know, because she is really not interested, I would tell without any problem, but she would have to ask me.

[Marie-Jo]

My wife learned it a couple of months ago. I had made an album, a photo album of the kind that you get printed at print shops. The front page stated Marie. I showed it to her and when she saw the front page, she laughed and said,"Is that what you call yourself?", and that was it. I am dressed at home most of the time. I use skirts and she uses trousers :).
We don't talk much about the transgender thing. For example, I bought the books "You and your gender identity" and "Being transgender" reading them and having them around at home. She haven't looked in them. She simply avoids the topic, so me as Marie is probably not allowed in her mind.
I have started to test making a photo album on snugmug.com and at first only with Marie-pictures but feel like odd that my male persona is not present. This name thing is a bit irritating as I would rather have a gender neutral name but Swedish has very few such names. The direction now is to keep my male name and Marie, using both as I see fit in each situation. I have hard to see that my wife would use Marie if I don't force her to, regardless of how I am dressed. It will be interesting to see how she will address me in public, if dressed. Maybe she finds it odd to use my male name? That is still to be found out.

[kayegirl]

Yes my wife knows my femme name, has known it from the beginning, but she doesn't use it. But then she seldom uses my given name, generally it's Sweetheart or Darling, or even a simple Hey You.

[Maddie]

My knows as she gave it to me

[Maria 60]

My wife actually choose the name, we would be in women clothing stores and she would ask me if I like this, or if I wanted this. So one day she suggested we give myself a female names so it sounds better. "Do you think Maria would like this.

[DaisyLawrence]

She chose it for me and uses it all the time, whether appropriate or not!

[Beverley Sims]

Mins has been the same since I was eight, Bev, the shortened version goes well either way.

It has been in use all of my lifetime, very handy really.

[abby054]

Yes. Abby is my nickname in drab. She coined it for me. She uses it often.

[alwayshave]

Yes she knows, but she still calls me by my male name even when in public.

[Jenn A116]

My wife knows. When we are out shopping she will often ask if Jennifer likes/needs a particular item. So generally, Jennifer is spoken of in the third person.

[Krisi]

My wife does not know. And it wouldn't be "Krisi" anyway. There are a couple female versions of my real male name and I would like for her to use one of them but so far she hasn't. If the opportunity arises I'll drop a hint or two.

[Jaylyn]

Yes she knows and has actually used it when we are out and about. Usually when she is buying something girly she'll ask and What does Jaylyn think of this outfit, blouse, or a skirt. She also has asked me in Sallies if Jaylyn needed anything? It was in front of the cash register and in front of the cashier. Don't know if she was trying to embarrass me or really wanted me to say what I wanted.

[michaelmichelle]

I'm another one that my wife came up with what she wanted to call me.
She has and continues to promote and reassure me about my dressing.
But we are very open to each other and very secure in our relationship.

[VivianFrost]

She sure does! Much like many others it seems, while we are out shopping, she always asks if I think Vivian would like this or that. Makes our shopping a lot more fun!

[JocelynJames]

Yes she knows. She suggested other names but I wasn’t feeling it. The name I have (Jocelyn) came from a girl back in school I always considered beautiful beyond everyone else. I mostly go by Joss as I like the abbreviation of the name ( a la Joss Stone) . The wife approves.

[Cheryl T]

Yes, she's known it since I came out to her over 10 years ago.
She uses it from time to time, mostly in the company of others when we are out somewhere. When we are just us alone we rarely use our names.

[Richelle423]

As I was on this site signing up to join my SO came up behind me and saw my name Richelle written on a note pad and she was like " you're on a CD web site and you're calling you're self Richelle now!!!" I never heard anything else ever since.

[~Joanne~]

MY SO knows but she mostly calls me "hon". She seldom uses my real name let alone my femme name but that's ok. She does refer to "Joanne" while we are out and about though.

[Taylor186]

My wife, who knew I crossdressed, asked my mom one day if she had a girl named picked out had I been born a girl. She said yes and told my wife, who later told me. That is now my femme name. So yes she knows.

[Alice B]

Yes. She has known since the start. She has never said anything negative about it, but has never called me by my female name. However the rest of our family refers to my female name when there is discussion or contact with Alice.

[Asew]

Yes my wife knows the name but doesn't feel like it suites me. I really on use it for online type stuff. She does call me Felicia quite often referring to my feminine side (even before she knew about dressing, and now she uses it a bit more to codify something feminine between us in front of the kids). And she almost never by my given name, we always call each other husband and wife. So much so that even her friends will call me husband. If I call her by her given name she wonders why I am mad at her and not calling her wife :)

[Stephanie Kimberlie]

Good luck !

[Teri Ray]

Yes my wife knows and on occasion will refer to me by my female name when shopping.

[Robyn mac]

Yes my girlfriend got me started dressing a year ago and gave me my name Robyn. She suggested how to spell it also. She refers to my femine name often dress or not. She is a keeper.

[IleneD]

Yes. And she braces against the sound of it.
We were on a beach vacation and having dinner out one evening. When I gave the hostess my name I told her "Ilene". I was in full guy mode with beard growth and everything. The Wife had a minor cow, finding it not the least bit funny.

She knew Ilene's name beforehand too.

[baldy1]

Yes

When out shopping she will refer to me as Julie if she sees something that i may like

Regards

Julie

[stephNE]

Yes, she has known since before we were married 37 years ago, but it took a long tome for her to use it. Now when I'm en femme, she will call me Stephanie, and when I'm in boy mode, she will ask things like "would Stephanie like this?"
I also have a few friends that know and have been out with me and call me Stephanie.

[CynthiaD]

No, she doesn't. I've told her a dozen times, but it just doesn't stick.

[bridget thronton]

Yes she knows

[jazmine]

LOL.....My wife is the one that actually named me. I told her about my crossdressing before we got married, because I know it would be a deal breaker for many women. She was relieved it was just that and not something bad like me being married already. Lol. When she asked if I had a "she" name, I told her not really, that I never gave it much thought. That's when she told me you're definitely a [Jasmine]. I added the last name [Nova], because that's the name we would name our first daughter if we were to have one. Unfortunately we were never able to have kids.

[Brooke B]

My wife knows. I think it bothered her more knowing I had a name. The dressing was one thing and she was or is accepting it at her speed but she struggled with the name for a little while.

[Emily78]

I found out a few weeks after my mother died that if I were born a girl my name would have been Emily. When I came put to my wife she was the one who suggested that my name be Emily. So yes she does

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife doesn't know and has never asked. She has alluded to her thinking that I must have two completely different personalities...one feminine and one masculine. So, if she thinks I have two different selves it serves to reason that I'd have a feminine name..I've told her that I don't have two distinct personalities, but I have to admit I'm more open, happy, and flirty as Nikki...but within myself, I'm the same person and I'm well aware of who I am as Nikki

[nikinylons]

My wife gave me my fem name years ago. My daughters call me Ms Niki or answer to maam all of the time however I'm dressed LOL I love it! :)