Left me wondering, uncertain.

[Helen_Highwater]

While out with my SO the other day we got to discussing the case of a teacher who’d already been convicted of child pornography and was then tried for Voyeurism, namely filming secretly in ladies toilets. This all came to light when he was caught Upskirting a pupil at the school he taught at. Yep real pervy scum bag.

During the conversation my SO said something along the lines of, “He’d had a shock if you went in there dress as you do”. Now this would be fine except, while I do think that my SO has her suspicions as far as I knew I’m in the closet. Okay I suspected she may suspect but I doubt she has any idea of the breadth of my CD’ing , certainly no concrete evidence, as far as I know.. Plus it was such an off the cuff, throwaway line initially it didn’t really register with me.

I was then tempted to question what she said but as we were in a public place I thought this isn’t the time and place. Plus I didn’t want to go down a path having totally misinterpreted her meaning and open up a big can of worms.

But it has left me wondering.

[Joyce Swindell]

Sounds like she more than suspects to me for her to put you in the ladies room and dressed as a woman. I would answer her statement with a question of why would I be going in there? Maybe that would get further conversation going. Or maybe answer...sounds like fun! What say we get me dolled up and try to catch a perp?!!?? (in a joking manner of course)

[Tracy Irving]

Her comment reads more like knowing than suspecting.

[Sidney]

I think I would use it to maybe open it up and see what she ment. Say maybe "I've been thinking about that comment you made the other day, exactly what did that mean." If she knows it may open an opportunity if she doesn't you'll be able to brush it off. Just my opinion. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Micki_Finn]

Two possibilities here as I see it. 1) She already knew 2) She knows now that you didn’t even question what she meant.

[kimdl93]

If you suspect she suspects, she knows more than you suspect.

[Mickitv]

Wow I would say, as others have said, she knows and maybe now is the time to discuss this with her. I am only guessing but it has to be easier for the individual if it is out in the open even with the possible consequences

[Stephanie47]

I don't know why cross dressers are oblivious to the possibility or probability their wives know of their stashes and exploits. I've read some of your posts about being out enjoying your femme side. If you had the need to use a bathroom it would logical to use the ladies room. If a wife knows her husband cross dresses it would be totally logical when either you were away from home or she was away visiting that you would spread your wings. I would have answered a comment like that with something to the effect that he has probably encountered that before. You might as well fess up.

[Tracii G]

Why is it men are the last to "get it"?
I would say she knows way more than you think she does and may just be testing you or trying to get you to open up a little.

[Aunt Kelly]

Yes, Helen. I was not there, but your account reads like she knows, or at the very least, strongly suspects. You may want to consider that the comment was her attempt to seize an opportunity to bring things out into the open. That might be good, or bad, but either way, it appears that it is time for the deception to end.

[Alice B]

Without question, it is time to have the talk

[LeannS]

Helen I am with you I think it is time that we opened the can of worms.

[Dana44]

Indeed, I think it is time to have a good talk with her.

[Leslie Langford]

No mystery there, Helen...Women know..they ALWAYS know.

It's this intangible but very real little thing often referred to as "Women's Intuition", or as some would call it - a "Sixth Sense". It is something that is hardwired into their brains, and no matter how much we try to emulate them or think that we transgender types possess some elements of a "female" brain, this is one "Superpower" that eludes most of us.

Sadly, while my wife's female intuition has yet to come up with something more practical or useful such as predicting winning lottery numbers, when it come to sussing out clandestine CDing activities of mine that she takes exception to, her accuracy rate is uncanny. ;)

[Bobbi46]

Helen,
Absolutely no doubt at all, I think she knows far more than you realise, could it also be that your SO has discovered your stash? and has both decided not to confront you but also in her own way she is quietly accepting this feminine side of you and by knowing such she does not want to confront you with the whole issue and by so doing may embarrass you in doing it.
Either way she knows for sure, let the dust settle and see what happens later, I feel nothing bad will come out of it but only good for the future.
Maybe you need not be in the closet any more.

[kimdl93]

A word of caution. One shouldn't presume that knowledge equates acceptance, certainly not approval. Be careful not to read your own hopes into that comment.

[docrobbysherry]

Have u considered that we have no idea what she knows? But, she does? :straightface:

If only there was some reliable way to find that out? Hmmm. Nope. Nothing comes to mind----:heehee:

[abby054]

Don't kid yourself. She knows more about it than you do and she is displeased. You are toast, my friend, just like I am.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Of course she knows. Why else would she make a comment like that?

[DaisyLawrence]

Sorry Helen but I'm afraid she knows. If she doesn't the comment makes no sense at all. Time for the talk maybe?

[Lacey New]

The cat has left the bag

[Teresa]

Helen,
No wife or partner would make that comment without some evidence to back it up, it's not a comment a wife would normally make to a husband without some evidence to back it up .

So the seed is sown , how do you approach the subject to put your mind at rest ?

I would pass a comment along the lines of it being an odd thing to say and ask what she meant by it .

[alwayshave]

Hellen, She knows. It's really hard to hide things from a women you live with.

[Vickie_CDTV]

She must know. I can't imagine why a wife would make such a comment otherwise. There isn't much room for interpretation there.

[char GG]

Don’t be uncertain, be certain! My guess is she is being as secretive as you are and waiting for you to fess up.

[Teresa]

Char,
Are you suggesting it's a GGs trap ? That was my problem with living off assumptions , never knowing what the true answer is, long term it can be destructive. Helen does need to know how the land lies and find a way to play the same game and find out without incriminating herself .

[phili]

No question she knows, only question is what next?
You were the only one there, so I would replay the scene and listen for the sound and tone and feeling- was it resigned tolerance of your DADT, but just letting you know how she feels by making it sort of humorous/sort of critical [i.e. a scene from a slapstick teen boy sitcom, but then again don't you see how shocking it is to upskirt and find male parts- that's not what you are supposed to find!!!]

I think it is likely to be her bursting her seams, and blurting, but you have to feel what she wanted in her tone- was she enjoying the comic shock of the voyeur, serving him right for preying on women, and standing by you as a revolutionary gender bender? Or was she saying I know, but I can't talk about it- as it is in the category of perversion for me- even though I sort of know its not for you.

What do you know about how to take the next step with your wife after she blurts about something less difficult but still something of tension?

You must have had some past history where she indicated she was not on board, and she probably knew then, and can tell from all sorts of subtle signs the extent of your relationship to standard manliness [where we constantly reinforce it- right?]

I'd say just hug her longer and better today, and don't say a word.

[Marie-Jo]

my SO said something along the lines of, “He’d had a shock if you went in there dress as you do”.
Isn't she saying that you dress in female clothes? I can not see anything else. She must have dropped this sentence as a result from a reflection of the context. It does not have to mean that she was intentionally telling you that she knows your habits. She maybe bit her tongue hearing herself? She was not intending to reveal her knowledge. She is maybe not interested in a further discussion?
If it is in your interest to discuss the topic further you can choose to see it as an invitation.
If you do not want the CD thing to surface this time, just drop it and await her eventual next move. There could be more to come, or not. You are both maybe satisfied with a DADT situation so there will be no next thing, this time.

[Beverley Sims]

I am with every one else on this one, see what other comments come out and then decide what move you are going to make.


I would take note of all the off cuff comments made

[Jenny22]

Your words, Helen:
“He’d had a shock if you went in there dress as you do”. Now this would be fine except, while I do think that my SO has her suspicions as far as I knew I’m in the closet."
She knows and probably more then you realize. I don't know if she's your wife or how long you've been a couple or how deep is your love and caring for each other, but if these circumstances are strongly positive, you need to have the talk, now. I think she will be receptive, 'cause she would have walked, and much earlier, with her knowledge. Good luck!! Keep us posted, please.

[lingerieLiz]

I read it as if you were in the women's bathroom going to the bathroom the teacher would be shocked at what he saw. She assumes that you would use the women's bathroom.

[Helen_Highwater]

Can I offer a big thank you for all your replies. I guess the general consensus is she knows however I'm still not certain just what is known. It's very possible my SO knows I under dress in hose and femme knickers. After all, it's an easy mistake to make letting a trouser leg show too far up a leg when sitting down. It's quite possible that's the extent of her knowledge and that would answer what she was referring to by way of her comment. I can't rule out that she knows more but my instinct leads me to believe she doesn't know just to what extent I dress.

Hence I'm still very reluctant to push things. If I say the wrong thing I could let the kitten heels out of the bag. I'm 99.9% certain she hasn't found my stash. It's not that easy for me to get at so it's not something she's stumble across.

I appreciate that being out and free to dress would be such a lovely place to be. However there is such uncertainty in the outcome of "having the talk" that as it stands I'm not prepared to risk pushing the envelope. My instinct is to wait and see if any further comments are made and take it from there. It's a huge divide from being comfortable having a husband that wears tights to finding out he has more dresses and skirts that you do.

[char GG]

No Teresa, Not a “GG trap”. It doesn’t sound like the wife started the “game”. If all parties were truthful, the question wouldn’t be on asked this forum.

[Asew]

I was kind of hoping you would talk to her more about it since it seems like she gave you something to discuss. But you should definitely do what you feel comfortable with and wish you the best.