What did the wife have to say?

[Sweet Susan]

For my first thread starter, I've decided to pick something I'm sure has been addressed before, and perhaps it's on the pages as we read. But I'm just curious what you ladies out there experienced the first time you told your wife about your preferred lifestyle or what was her reaction the first time she found or saw you dressed.

My wife was actually my girlfriend when I told her about it. She acted very interested and wanted to see me dressed up. While she seemed to be excited to see me, I was leery and it would be 18 years before I ever dressed in front of her, though she knew I was doing it when she wasn't home.

Her reaction when she finally did see me? I took her on a romantic retreat. After we got settled into our hotel room, I told her I had a surprise. 20 mintues later when I walked out of the bathroom and she saw me, her mouth dropped to the floor and she smiled broadly. Then she said, "you look really, really sexy. In fact, you look better than I do!" I was very relieved!

[samanthajay]

my girl freind liked it and said that she would still love me for who i was. :D

[Tonia]

For my first thread starter, I've decided to pick something I'm sure has been addressed before, and perhaps it's on the pages as we read. But I'm just curious what you ladies out there experienced the first time you told your wife about your preferred lifestyle or what was her reaction the first time she found or saw you dressed.

My wife was actually my girlfriend when I told her about it. She acted very interested and wanted to see me dressed up. While she seemed to be excited to see me, I was leery and it would be 18 years before I ever dressed in front of her, though she knew I was doing it when she wasn't home.

Her reaction when she finally did see me? I took her on a romantic retreat. After we got settled into our hotel room, I told her I had a surprise. 20 mintues later when I walked out of the bathroom and she saw me, her mouth dropped to the floor and she smiled broadly. Then she said, "you look really, really sexy. In fact, you look better than I do!" I was very relieved!
DEVORCED !!!;) Best thing in the world that could have happened... Free at last!!!!:)

[titleguy]

She said she didn't have a problem with my dressing up, but she didn't feel comfortable. She's filing for divorce. I will miss her for sure, but I now have the time to explore more fully my TV self. I can now spend my nights en femme and it is what was missing from my life and which my beautiful wife is unwilling to fulfill. I will miss her.

[Fiona K]

For my first thread starter, I've decided to pick something I'm sure has been addressed before, and perhaps it's on the pages as we read. But I'm just curious what you ladies out there experienced the first time you told your wife about your preferred lifestyle or what was her reaction the first time she found or saw you dressed.

My wife was actually my girlfriend when I told her about it. She acted very interested and wanted to see me dressed up. While she seemed to be excited to see me, I was leery and it would be 18 years before I ever dressed in front of her, though she knew I was doing it when she wasn't home.

Her reaction when she finally did see me? I took her on a romantic retreat. After we got settled into our hotel room, I told her I had a surprise. 20 mintues later when I walked out of the bathroom and she saw me, her mouth dropped to the floor and she smiled broadly. Then she said, "you look really, really sexy. In fact, you look better than I do!" I was very relieved!

Hi Susan,
Congrats on the first post. I think you've been tremendously lucky to find such a wonderful woman and brave to have risked so much. As some of the girls know I'm trying toi fidure out how to tell right now but the Divorce stories set me back. I'm not sure if she'll be most pissed at me dressing or having kept it secret for so many years.....
Fiona
xx

[Jerry]

After dating for 4 years and married for 10 I said to my wife (under the influence of a nice cabernet) something like, "Oh, you don't really know all of me." She didn't have to push too hard for me to break the dam. After a year of stressed discussions, therapy, purges, and more open discussions, I've got a "yellow light".

I have a few things of my own, shoes for size, makeup for health, and I'm gaining momentum to get some breast forms. She lets me use her clothes.

Here are the rules: Not in front of the kids. Only when scheduled so she knows not to come home without a call. Avoid the topic as much as possible. Nothing out of the house. This is a complicated one given my beliefs (right wing conservative) and how popular the topic is here in the forum.

But these are rules I can live with. I love her with all my heart. She is understanding more and more about me, my moods (I'm the one with PMS), and we are closer now than ever. I've tried to give back to her as much as I can so that she can learn how much she's giving me. Little things like helping around the house, getting the honey-do list done, and giving her some time away from the kids with friends, movies, etc.

But she's not ready to see or participate. Maybe someday, when she's ready.

Thanks for listening (reading).

Hog hugs from AR. Jerry

[Jerry]

Fiona, A comment for you.

My wife was most hurt by the secret. It took quite a few discussions to work through the issues: protecting her, being selfish, being embarrased, thinking I could stop, etc.

How open is she to diversity. Is she okay with gay people? How does she react to other races and cultures? If she is generally open and can see the feminine side of you, she'll probably be okay... with time.

But many women seem to want their men to be men's men. If that's the case, divorce is always a possibility.

Best to you. Jerry

[Amy_B]

I comend all of u for steping up.. I sofar havent had to deal with this topic.. I know I will later in life.. But from what I am reading I will make sure that I am more open about it in the begining so that I dont have to feel or go threw what u r going threw.. I would like to hear from more of u.. I think this topic will help alot of us out in our sex lifes.. Thanks..

[Amelie]

What was it like for me??? It was like I was talking to the wall,,,,Wait a minute,,,,,it was a wall, I don't have a wife.
Love Amelie

[Fiona K]

Fiona, A comment for you.

My wife was most hurt by the secret. It took quite a few discussions to work through the issues: protecting her, being selfish, being embarrased, thinking I could stop, etc.

How open is she to diversity. Is she okay with gay people? How does she react to other races and cultures? If she is generally open and can see the feminine side of you, she'll probably be okay... with time.

But many women seem to want their men to be men's men. If that's the case, divorce is always a possibility.

Best to you. Jerry

Thanks for this Jerry,
She is incredibly tolerant, hates all the "isms" you can imagine, enjoys gay bars- plenty in Edinburgh. Is seriously looking forward to going to San Francisco next year on vacation.

But I think the trust and hiding this for so long is going to be the biggest problem for her, and I don't really blame her. This site has given me the only opportuinty to talk with anyone else about my femininity I've ever known.

I'll work it out with all your support
Fiona

[Georgette]

Fiona
Haven't told her yet Don't know if I will, It will just have to be that way for now.
Hope I don't get caught. :(

Be who you want to be, not what others think you should be :rolleyes:

[Fiona K]

I know what you mean Georgette
Fiona xx

[Lily_gg]

Definitely the secrecy and trust more so than the dressing in my case. And the fact that there was so little intimacy previously - I'd come to the conclusion that he was still in love with his ex, and just saw me as some kind of convenient girlfriend - there when he needed someone on his arm to go out with his coupley friends, there when he 'wanted' his woman, there when he needed love and support, and conveniently back in the box the rest of the time - not a long term consideration... :(

Working through it slowly now though. :o

[Sweet Susan]

Thanks to all of you for responding to my first post. I'm so excited to have found this forum, you DON"T know how important it is to have exactly what this forum is into my life.

I have been married twice, and I have dressed in front of both of my wives. My first wife was okay with it, as long as I was okay with her extracurricular sexual activities. We tried that for awhile, but to make a very, very long story short, we ended it. Not without trying some very interesting (and fun, I might add) sexual experiments. We didn't divorce because of the cross dressing.

As I mentioned yesterday, my current wife knew about my "desire" to crossdress well before we married, but I didn't dress in front of her until three years ago, and we have been married since 1985. Now I dress up in front of her whenever I have the nerve. I have this silly paranoia that she won't think I'm man enough for her, so I often fight with my mind. She's usually very good about it, though there have been times when I've noticed some negativity. She claims, emphasize claims, to be totally okay with it. However, it isn't realized in daily behavior. Marlene tells me to be patient, and I am. It's just that sometimes I am feel like we aren't progressing.

Having said that, I will admit that she buys me nighties for Christmas, women's perfume, little things, and lets me know they are for Susan. So, to be fair, I think she is coming along well, though slower than I want. Of course, what I want is to be a full-blown queen, but she doesn't know that.

Fiona, I can only say that secrets cause more problems than most things. However, don't do anything you might regret. Good luck.

BTW--Can anybody tell me how I can get a picture posted. The forum gives me a message that they are too large. How does one make a picture smaller? They are already jpeg, or whatever that code is, and I have set my camera on email, so I'm lost. I really want to show myself to all of you. How about if I email a pic to one of you and you can set it up to be posted. Would that be cool?

[Renecd]

I have told 2 women in my life. One was my wife and I waited 10 years to let her in my my "lil secret". I would say she took it well, but only if you consider crying and calling me a liar and her having a disgusted feeling at me. She did consider divorce for a period of time but we tired counseling and that help help her understand a little better. Of course we did split up 10 years (not because of the dressing but more because we had just grown apart) and the minute I left she told most of her friends and neighbors of how hard it was to live with someone who dressed in women's clothing. This was her way of finally getting back at me.
The second woman was my last girl friend who I did tell before we got into a serious relationship. I just wanted it out into the open with her and I thought it best for both of us. We were together for 2 1/2 years and she even asked that I dress for her at times. Even though she did accept it when we broke up, she also told all our common friends of how I dressed in women's clothing.
I am not sure if I get into another serious relationship if I would tell her or not, but since I do believe in honesty I would most likely tell her and just hope, "secerts stay in the home"

Hugs,
Rene

[Sweet Susan]

Rene,
BTW, before I forget. Your legs look fantastic!
When I was married to my first wife, she told her friends about me before we divorced. She even told her mother, which led to a very interesting set of circumstances, and is another story all together. After we split, well, let's just say if was best for me to leave the area, which I didn't. Consequently, I was, for all intents and purposes, ruined. Not just because of the crossdressing, but all of the other stories that went with it, as well.
My current wife tells me that she would never tell anyone. She says it is something that is just between the two of us. She calls it, "our little secret." She does have two sisters, however, and I can't help but wonder. Every once in awhile one of them will say something about crossdressers, and though I never take the bait, I do wonder.
What I would really like is to be able to just step out there and be Susan wherever I went. But with three very manly sons, and a couple of adorable grandchildren, I just don't see that happening.

[tvsusan]

I told my wife after about 5 years of marriage. She didn't like to see me
dressed up, but she took me out a few times and played tennis with me
in femme. Once a year i would go to reno or taho with my wife dressed
up and have her drop me off at one of the casinos. And come back for
me later. One time I made a reseveration at a motel and she went there
to check in, they couldn't find my reseveration and boy was she mad .
She almost drove home without me. After 10 years of dressing up
occaisionally, she finally said just do it without me, i don't want to see
you dressed up, it gave her nightmares. So now i have to go it alone.
My, my love is away helpiing her mother who is very sick and needs
constant care has been away for 2 weeks now, and i have been taking
advantage of it every nite. My next dream is to go to a Halloween Party
this year in Sacramento CA. or San Francisco this year. I need to get
out and enjoy myself while i can. I love my wife and she loves me. Its
worth the sacrafice to be loved by a woman that makes you happy.
Sincerely tvsusan

[samanthajay]

What was it like for me??? It was like I was talking to the wall,,,,Wait a minute,,,,,it was a wall, I don't have a wife.
Love Amelie
haha :D

[Barbguy]

me i have a real bad habit of talking in me sleep( can't even buy a new pair of shoes with out her knowing) anyway i told her in my sleep and when i woke up she started asking questions, i think she was happy to know the panties and couple of dress she found was mine not another girls and she told me she don't have a problem with me dressing as long as i kept it at home. And not tell everyone. but in the last 9 years a lot have found out they either seen toe nails painted or seen me dressed or somthing. but i work onnew homes and cover 8 states so i am out of town alot and crossdress every chance i get even driving down the road. and at motels :D but to answer the qwestion my wife had no poblem she loves the idel i know what makeup is better then her and i buy her new clothes she said i have very good taste

[Fiona K]

Thanks four your kind words Susan, it is something I need to think through incredibly carefully, one way or another
Fiona
XX

[Renecd]

Thank you for the nice compliment Susan :)
I do understand how you feel, I also have children and can never completely change my male "image" because they do ask! But its ok, we will survive lol

Hugs,
Rene

[Sweet Susan]

So, you, with those fine legs, are from Jersey. You must be a Bruce fan! What a man Bruce is. I take great satisfaction in believing that I look better than his wife! Of course, he probably doesn't think so, but what the hay. By the way, you not only have beautiful legs, but you have beautiful knees, as well. When can I see your face. You could email me a pic. I'd like to see you.

[Renecd]

Thank you again Susan :o
Maybe after Saturday I will post some new pictures.

Hugs,
Rene

[Renecd]

Hey Susan, You also have VERY nice legs!!
I did enjoy the W/S...the curse is finally over and I am glad about that.
Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Hugs,
Rene

[Sweet Susan]

I am really proud of my legs, but I wish I had your knees.