Who are you?

[xNicolex]

OK so just wondering who you guys are? What are you like in real life? I'm curious because I read a lot of intimate threads here, stuff that is really personal (now I know that this site is an outlet for us to talk freely about things we might not be able to express to anyone else) but, for those of you who can speak to other crossdresser's in a social setting or even a friend, do you speak about things in the same intimate detail? face to face? Your fantasies, desires and needs? I can't imagine talking to anyone about mine maybe I lack the confidence... but how many of you girls open yourselves up to someone outside the secrecy of the internet?

[faltenrock]

I do. When I'm out en femme, I start meeting more people. of course, my dressing soon becomes a major diskussuin and they want to know almost everything about it.
I also have a female friend who actually met me as Doreen, but that's another difficult story.

[Stephanie47]

When it comes to the cross dressing I do not discuss it with anyone else. Frankly, I do not know any cross dressers out in the wild. I think there has been many threads where the post dealt with whether or not to run up and introduce oneself to another cross dresser. There is really no reason for me to discuss cross dressing with anyone unless it is in the abstract. Over the years I have posted comments that I would not tell others. I'm sure if there was a troll on here from my immediate family sooner or later they would be able to identify me.

On the flip side there are intimate things in my personal life that have not been disclosed here, but, have been discussed with others. They have nothing to do with cross dressing. And, those thoughts are not discussed with the general public at all, and, really very limited with close family.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m lucky in that I get to discuss all that stuff with my wife. I might be inclined to talk about that kind is stuff with friends I’m close with, but my guardedness doesn’t come from the crossdressing. It’s just how I was raised that you don’t burden others with your personal stuff.

[ClosetED]

I went a few times to the local support group of CD/TSs. Besides the introductions, most of the chatter was the usual stuff - work (although weighted more to how their TG impacted it), politics (more focused on TG issues) and family issues. Not much 'girl' talk about clothing/makeup. Nothing about sexual fantasies.
Saw 2 different therapists, but mostly talked over my wife's lack of acceptance and understanding, as I feel OK with who I am. And I did share some pictures with them.
They are still not close friends and even to those I do not talk about fantasies and desires. With family I may share more. But I am very close mouthed about my needs. But here I do open up and want to share Ellen's looks with everyone here.
Hugs, Ellen

[Amelie]

I don't talk to people offline like I do to people I meet online. Cause I actually don't know anybody offline. I don't talk to anyone except the person at the convenience store, maybe a doctor. That is about it. I have only two people that I talk to. I don't have to talk about my life to them, they saw first hand what my life is and they saw what I went through in Baltimore. They helped me escape from Baltimore. Even then, I don't talk all that much to them, I just use their computer from time to time. Besides them I don't talk to anyone offline about anything. I just have wild animals(skunks, possum, deers) around me and they don't want to listen to me, they run away from me. If I had friends offline I wouldn't be here typing this.

[Jenny22]

Nicole, I found a 'seasoned' forum sister. We met several times, and she became my mentor. I shared many personal thoughts with her in our discussions which were always en femme. She gave me the courage to go out WITH her. We had dinner in a nice restaurant with another forum sister and her CD friend, and once by ourselves. It was invigorating to say the least. I'm going to DLV in April, a first for me to be 'pretty' 24/7, and make new friends. Who knows, maybe some intimate discussions might evolve.

Nicole, I just saw your new photos. You are beautiful! Do I correctly sense that you would like to have a personal CD friend with whom you can share? Hugs.

[docrobbysherry]

Nicole, remember most of us r either men, or may have lived a male persona for many years. Men just don't discuss personal info in person easily or often!

I have met 100's of dressers at the 15+ T conventions/events I've attended. Plus, I hang often with a local group of approx. 50+/- T's. They don't volunteer personal info. But, when I've had the chance and the desire to ask personal questions one on one? Most T's have been quite forthcoming.:battingeyelashes:

I can tell u this: Other than struggling with their gender and CDing issues, they have little in common. Coming from all walks of life and opposite ends of the economic and educational spectrums! I've chatted with hookers, to eventual Congressional assistants. Other than dressing, they only have one thing in common. They all seem to me to be good, remarkable people!:hugs:

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm reclusive to the point of schizoid personality disorder. For me, two's a crowd. People are much easier to deal with online where I can vaporize them with a mouse click. I think my wife only puts up with me because she's still trying to figure out the mystery: who is this guy?

[Teresa]

Nicolex,
Social group conversation usually centres on CDing issues, whether they be serious or something to joke about and pull someone's leg. It is good to hear what GGs have to say and the TSs give an insight to the more difficult aspects of transition . Conversation about more intimate issues are easier because we are mostly in the same boat . The only way to help someone else is to be open and honest yourself , I doubt very few would take advantage of that aspect .

[Beverley Sims]

The anonymity, not the secrecy of the internet is what let's me open up a bit.

When out and about it is only general talk of daily life, clothes, makeup, general daily problems and cooking keep the conversation going.

To talk of intimacy on a regular basis would seem weird and would ward others off and they would not want to hold a conversation with you.

Don't talk about yourself and ask questions of them, not too personal though.

The best I have gone is to talk about dressing itself and the problems associated with it.

There is nothing secret about the internet. :-)

Anonymity is not that high on the list either.

[Sissy_Michelle]

xNicolex,

The bravado of the internet. Many ideas change once faced with in real life people. At a social gathering, pub/bar, while making groceries. Either way here we're empowered to be whoever we desire to be, as confident as we'd like to be and as open as we'd like to tell all about. We all have a commonallity with each other, either through experiences, clothes, transitions, or my favorite friendship. In person is a different story... Personnaly if someone here approached me in real life, I would love to chat or grab a coffee. That is just me though.

Who am I? Good question. I am still on that journey.

What am I like in real life? I hope people see me as kind and fair.

Would I or do I speak about the same things I do here if in person? Would depend on the friend.

@--}----
Michelle

[Dana44]

I am lucky to talk with my GF. She was a therapist at one time.

[Nikki A.]

I am an outgoing person either way. I have a friend here from the forum and we do get together and talk about a whole slew of things, not just dressing. I have some GG friends that I'm pretty open with and when I am out dressed I'm happy to answer any questions they may have. That is my way of at least helping people understand and accept us. I try to show them we are not so different, just that we express ourselves different.

[Karen RHT]

I've had conversations with two other crossdressers, their wives, four or five makeup artists, a gg wig shop owner, one male friend who stopped by unexpectedly at Halloween, and several sales associates over the years. Some of those conversations were serious, others were more light hearted. I don't have a problem switching from one mode to the other as the situation warrants.

I'm not much of a story teller, although I do enjoy a good conversation whether it's in person or online.


Karen

[Steph_CD_62]

Other than my wife I don't discuss my crossdressing with anyone.
Most people I know have a "bad" opinion of crossdressers and transgendered. I've tried to get them to change their minds but have realized it is a hopeless cause so anymore just sit back and let them speak their closed minds.

[Joyce Swindell]

Time has passed so quickly. I'm 62 and have been a CD as far back as I can recall. Life is life! You grow with each passing day. Who am I? As a youth I was someone else entirely different than who I am today. We are all formed by our own worlds as to who we are. We all have our "moments in time". Things that we remember in great detail and are probably the more important things that have helped us grow to who we are now.

Obscure at best I know and I am sorry. To answer the question of if we discuss in person as we do here I would have to agree it depends on the friend or person we are with as well as who we are at the time. As an older CD I find I discuss almost everything with other CD's as I do here. If I consider it too personal then I wouldn't respond or partake in the conversation in either forum.

Joyce

[Judy-Somthing]

I like playing the guitar, piano, and singing, woodworking, I'm and electromechanical engineering tech who adores women and they're clothes!
I Love my wife and children.
I'm addicted to dressing fem!

[Sometimes Steffi]

Nicole, remember most of us r either men, or may have lived a male persona for many years. Men just don't discuss personal info in person easily or often!


Maybe I'm more of a girl than I thought I was. Since I started going out and about locally, and to Keystone, I have many Tgirl (hundreds) friends. Do I tell them all my deepest darkest secrets? No. Do I tell some of them? Sure do. Did they tell me something intimate. Yes. Some have told me things that they didn't even tell their wives.

I've also have some very intimate conversations with the muggles. I've talked with 5 girls who expressed unhappiness with the size of their breasts. I have taken out my forms and let them try them on "for size". This is totally true, and I have witnesses, even here on CD.com.

My secret. Steffi is an extrovert; boy me is an introvert. Girl me has a lot more fun.

[lingerieLiz]

I'm very outgoing and gregarious, I'm the type that will talk to an SA and tell her things are for me. Some haven't believed me so I showed them the bra I was wearing. I'll talk to anyone, but it doesn't bother me to be alone. My wife calls me the hermit because I don't belong to any groups like a lot of guys do. I do have hobbies. I've traveled a lot and know people in a slew of towns and countries. I go fishing with guy friends from time to time that haven't died yet (we are old) and have worn fem clothes while doing it. I don't belong to any support groups. I figured out who I was many years ago. I do like to shop and like to go with my wife's friends as a group. They know about me and share clothing discussions with me involved. I don't try to pass, but wear age appropriate fem clothes. Which means I don't wear dresses much at my age.

[xNicolex]

I've enjoyed reading your replies interesting :) I see many of you are very different but we all share a common bond :)

[Kendalli]

I have a couple of close friends that I discuss a lot with, but none with anything dealing with my dressing or fantasies. My wife knows about and is excepting of my dressing for the most part, but she has a lot of reservations about the whole thing still. So I have to put on a face of more confidence and keep many things to myself. There are a couple of people I have talked to privately here, but it hasn't really formed into anything beyond acquaintances.

[kimdl93]

I like to think I'm basically the same person here as in my real life. I'm open to conversation, but I keep my gender identity masked during my work life, giving a presentation of what my colleagues and staff expect. In my personal life, I have spent a good deal of time out in public (less recently) and I have opened up to a few friends. I answer the expected questions as well as I can. Somethings I just can't explain.

[Patricia_Campi]

Well, since I am a closeted crossdresser, I rarely discuss it with anyone. Even with my wife, because she doesn´t accept it.

I made a CD friend that I talk with, but that´s it!

My friends and family would not understand. So, almost alone I go!

Patricia

[CarlaWestin]

Like Tracii, I generally write in my true voice. In real life conversations I keep eye contact to pick up on the subliminal 'tells' that most people emit. But, not so much with familiar people.
It's just required situational awareness.
I have one good CD friend that I've never met in person although, we text and talk on the phone quite often. It's an interesting conversation as it's very male personas with an occasional compliment or comment
about outfits or sex appeal. In real life I'm definitely male but not overly uber or alpha. My calm happy male demeanor morphs into elegant female easily.
Unless I want something different!

[CONSUELO]

Every few months I go to a very nice and professional lady to have my body waxed . I use a depilator in between but still need the professional attention.
Over the years she and I have shared a lot of intimacies. Secret fears, issues in our personal lives with partners etc. She is my informal therapist and we chat continuously when I am there. She tells me of the challenges she faces in her family as well as the successes and she has also been a major source of encouragement for me. She finds my being a transvestite to be completely unremarkable.
Whatever she tells me stays in my head and is not shared with anyone. Likewise for her.
I know that some women's beauty salons serve a similar purpose with chat about family issues and personal hopes and fears.
Doc is right about most men being "locked up" but we are not all like that.

[Ressie]

Well, this is a public forum which means any intimate, personal things we talk about (in this forum) can be found by anyone that does a google search. Some of us either don't care about that or don't think about it when we post certain things.

What I'm like in real life is a little different than what I portray here as a crossdresser. But I've blurted out things on this site that I wouldn't reveal to most people in my real life.

I don't believe the internet is a place of secrecy. Having profile names and unrecognizable photos helps but doesn't guarantee anything.

[Jaylyn]

I slowly read thru all the comments thus far Nicolex and I gues it is safe to say I feel somewhat like everyone else. I am not open to anyone one else except my wife and really I can't be 100% open to her. At first I thought I have a confidant in her but lately I guess my dressing is getting old enough that it's not as exciting to her as it is to me. We share though very intimate sexual feelings with each other and she married a very manly one way or the high way type guy. She doesn't know it's because of her that I've let my female side come out as I had always kept it hidden and was very secretive about my activities until we had been married for twenty years or more. She then surprised me with she suspected I had a soft side somewhere.
I have since had telephone conversations with two other CDs on here, and once I was very much in the mood and actually dressed and went online with another CDer thru the computer video chat thing. Wife was gone then visiting while chatting we did get somewhat into the sexual part of fantasy and exotic fantasies. It was a one time thing for me but I don't think it was her first time thing.
Today it pretty much just me as wife acts as though the excitement is gone. We are in our late 60s and life starts changing then, ten grand kids, can cause the dressing to take a back seat to life. Still only ones that know what I enjoy is my wife and three others that i have either talked on phone with and my wife. If it wasn't for this site I'd probably be stark raving insane by now. I love this site and the Internet friends here that I can message and visit with when the emotions and feelings get stirred inside. Really no one else outside the net knows to my knowledge as I lead a totally separate life outside the house and this site.

[sarab]

I keep Sara hidden, although Im trying to bring her out more. I keep going through periods of denial and embracing. I'd love to have someone to chat with freely about things though.

[Mickitv]

I love discussing my crossdressing but it is only with a selected few. Most people who have no interest in me or my crossdressing would not understand.

[Robyn mac]

I have been an alpha male my whole life. Played on many sports leagues through out my life. My friends know that I am out going speak my mind . When it comes to people I am very open minded and will chat with anyone.
My girl friend got me into dressing and I have never been the same. She has let out my fem side that's been wanting to come out for years. I have always loved woman's fashion . I now she helps and encourages me to dress anyway I like. I have only gone out once dressed and look forward to a lot more.
I will not discuss my dressing with family or friends but I am joining a support group at there meeting next month.

[Jenny22]

Robyn, your CDing history is most unusual, compared to most. We know nothing about you that we might aid and add to your CDing experience. Will you share with us how your GF got you into CDing? That should be a fun story.

[Robyn mac]

I would love to tell you but it's not for here

[Alice_2014_B]

I'm your typical guy I guess.
I never exhibit any signs of femininity, at least no one has ever told me.
And I have some very honest friends and co-workers.
Even when I'm all dolled up in public I don't really act female, except perhaps in my walk since I'm always in heels when out an femme.
:)

[t-girlxsophie]

Back in the day I had no one to talk to and I was so depressed,I couldn't share with anyone the joy I got from being Sophie.

Happily now I'm married to a wonderful,understanding woman whom I can tell anything (Good or bad) to,she also loves to hear about how any day/nights out as Sophie have went.I have a close friendship with my 3 besties ,fellow CDs we can tell each other anything often sharing confidences about family,our problems etc.A lot of things I don't feel I can share as a guy.

Even enjoy a lovely,girly chat with a couple of girls from work who know of my dressing,all in all I think as a girl in far more approachable about things

Out with my femme side,Im a Proud hard working Scot,love my Soccer team and Massive music fan

[phili]

HI Nicole,
It sounds like you wish for more intimate conversations, and you can see on this Forum people do share intimate things but in a publicly appropriate way. That works pretty well for getting things out where we can see them, and feel like we less bottled up. You can also reach out via pm to individuals who you feel might want to become a confidant.

I had a gf once with whom I was able to have complete honesty. We share our journals and talked over what we were feeling or wondering about what we had done, or wished for, etc. giving each other perfect safety. It was wonderful. I'd like to have that kind of friend again.

[mykell]

hi nicole, im an ally, i support, ill mentor if asked, i volunteer at a LGBT social club, i get out a few times a month. i have befriended a lesbian women at the club and sometimes i think she knows me better than i know myself.

i have met many folks from here and even call and text with many folks i have met from here and volunteering.

so yes i will share more when face to face with folks, i share less here in the MtF section of the forum than in the member only sections, i believe you should have some skin in the game to learn more about me


Nicolex,
Social group conversation usually centres on CDing issues, whether they be serious or something to joke about and pull someone's leg. It is good to hear what GGs have to say and the TSs give an insight to the more difficult aspects of transition . Conversation about more intimate issues are easier because we are mostly in the same boat . The only way to help someone else is to be open and honest yourself , I doubt very few would take advantage of that aspect .

once you are out meeting folks this is the typical situation of support groups


Nicole, remember most of us r either men, or may have lived a male persona for many years. Men just don't discuss personal info in person easily or often!

I have met 100's of dressers at the 15+ T conventions/events I've attended. Plus, I hang often with a local group of approx. 50+/- T's. They don't volunteer personal info. But, when I've had the chance and the desire to ask personal questions one on one? Most T's have been quite forthcoming.:battingeyelashes:

I can tell u this: Other than struggling with their gender and CDing issues, they have little in common. Coming from all walks of life and opposite ends of the economic and educational spectrums! I've chatted with hookers, to eventual Congressional assistants. Other than dressing, they only have one thing in common. They all seem to me to be good, remarkable people!:hugs:

the bold statement above is what i see differentiate me as just a CDer and being more female myself, you cant shut me up once i feel you out and build trust with you.

so nicole i dont know what you may be looking for but you have to have some blind faith and trust that you make the right decision when you do meet folks out in the wild. i may not like everything about everyone i meet but thats life, some wanted more than friendship and i will just tell them im spoken for and that seems to get the point across, this lifestyle is after all many different things to many different people here.....hope this made sense to you....

[Becky Blue]

Interesting thread and Op, I have been lucky enough to have some TGirl friends and have met in person with quite a few, the talk is far more intimate than any conversations I have ever had with any of my guy friends in my other life.

[sometimes_miss]

I haven't met any crossdressers IRL in over 20 years. But I have discussed my crossdressing and all sorts of intimate things with two gay women that I worked with, without any hesitation. Neither work with me any longer, though, so right now, I have no friends or relatives IRL that I can talk to about it; then again, I don't feel the need to discuss it with anyone any more than I would discuss what man clothes I would wear. I simply wear different things for different activities, as needed. Anything that requires me to go out of the house, is male clothes. Pretty much anything around the house is girl clothes.

[Alice B]

Great question. Wish I knew.