Outed myself... to an SA

[Bianca Fay]

I usually make online purchases but this last weekend I was feeling adventurous & decided to buy a few pairs of pantyhose at one of the big department stores in town.
Was planning on using a self-service checkout stand but the lines were long so I figured what the heck & went straight to one of the cashiers instead.
My heart was pounding & I felt dizzy because I didn't have any other items - just the hose. I was on an adrenaline rush.
The minute I placed them on the counter, my cell phone rang. I could have just answered the call & let the SA ring up my purchase in silence but instead I blurted out "Sorry, I need to answer this. Can I leave MY pantyhose here for a sec?"
When I nervously returned to her till, she flat-out said "If these pantyhose really are yours, do yourself a favor & don't wear the linen shade... that color doesn't flatter anyone!"
The blood was rushing in my ears but I heard myself stammer "Thanks. I won't. At least not out of the house".
I've replayed that transaction a thousand times in my head & still can't believe that I outed myself to a complete stranger.

[Sami Brown]

Believe it!

It wasn't as bad as you thought it would be was it?

Sami

[lingerieLiz]

It does get easier. I've only found a few SAs that have a hard time with men buying women's stuff fro themselves.

[jazmine]

OMG, that's hoot!

I remember when I was a kid, riding my bike miles from my house with pocket change and a few crumpled bills, buying pantyhose at a party store. I don't think I said anything, nor anything was said to me. I just remember being real nervous.

[Connie.Marie]

Cecily,
Don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes.

Besides, since it was to a stranger, You'll never see her again & no long term ramifications.

AND you got some great fashion advice.

Hugs, Connie

[Glenda58]

I was buying a dress when someone behind said pretty it was and wanted to know if it fit me. I said yes and it will go with the heels I just bought. I was in drab. I just don't care anymore.

[abby054]

I have been there and done exactly that. I went back and got the pantyhose in the right shade that is still my favorite 37 years later.

[Joan.Meredith]

It's ok, most SA's now a days don't bat an eye. If they have a problem with it, most don't show it. Hey, money is money, they just want the sale.

Just be calm and yourself, I know it's hard at first but it does get better.

Love,
Joan

[Patricia_Campi]

I really don´t have the guts to do it. At least not yet.

At the same time, I envy who do it! So, congratulations!!

Cheers

Patricia

[NancySue]

I had a similar experience in the hosiery department at Macy’s. Not the first time, but the second time, the SA recognized me with a nice smile. She, too made recommendations about brands and colors. She recommended Hanes Silk Reflections, Barely There. She was wearing them and showed me. I agreed and bought both pantyhose and thigh highs. When she handed me the bag, she said she hoped I’d enjoy them. I smiled and answered “I’m sure I will”. Ooops..I’m out, but I didn’t care. Of course, I made more visits.

[CONSUELO]

I'm sure that SA has already forgotten all about you. She did give good advice on colors though.

[Ressie]

I have no problem telling an SA that fem items are for me. In fact it feels good! Of course it took many transactions throughout the years to feel this at ease about it. I never say anything normally but I don't get nervous about making purchases. But if the cashier decides to make small talk saying something about buying something for my wife, I just say, "no, it's for me". I like to see their reaction at that point!

[Beverley Sims]

Sounds like an insignificant purchase to me.

Not one easily remembered.

[SherriePall]

I mentioned this once before, but I think it fits here. I had a number of items on the line at Walmart, including some earrings at the end. The cashier got to them and asked, "Are these yours, too?"
With that she turned beet red and stammered something about she actually meant to ask if they were among my purchases.
I got her off the hook by saying that they were among the things I was buying.
She didn't know how true she was.
I don't care when I buy femme items. I don't apologize. Most of the time I don't say a word about them. Afterall, I don't say a word about the other items I buy. And most cashiers are too busy trying to ring up the sales to actually care about what I'm buying.
Now, when I need to try on an item, that's a whole other story.

[Joni T]

Tell the sa it's for a wood working project. After sanding, you lightly rub the freshly sanded surface with them and if the pantyhose don't snag, the wood is perfectly sanded.
Jon

[Robertacd]

You might as well be straight with an SA or cashier. For one, you are probably never going to see them again. Not to mention that unless it's their first day on the job, you are not the first guy (or the last) to buy woman's clothes from them.

You never know they may give you some good advice or tell you about an up coming sale.

[Tracii G]

Its not a big deal really as you found out nobody cares what you buy.
I bought two pair of pantyhose at Ross yesterday because WalMart and Gordman's didn't have any.
I have to agree with the SA linen color look horrible on anyone. Good call on her part.

[Teresa]

Cecily,
The next step is more adventurous , buying clothes and trying them on, by then you will smile to yourself about the simple task of buying tights.

Don't always take SAs advice , I buy four shades of stockings plus black opaque holdups depending on what I wear , some SAs tried to tell me not to buy black stockings because no one wears them , how wrong was that, you need them with black boots .

Keep doing what you are doing because you will start to collect amusing moments , I love some of the things that have happened while shopping .

[Tracii G]

Teresa is right because amusing interactions with SA's can be a lot of fun.
Some even get into helping a guy buy femme outfits. I have 2 SA's at Kohl's that I adore because its like a party when I go there.
We have fun putting together outfits.

[Sidney]

My wife really hates shopping so before I discovered my feminine side I was doing most of her shopping. I bought lingerie, pants, blouses, dresses and bathing suits. I love to shop myself and it has never bothered me being in the womans clothing department. Oddly enough when I did find my girl side and started buying for myself I did have a period of being selfconscious about buying for myself.

[docrobbysherry]

Cecily, consider this a learning experience. The general rule is: Strangers don't care so why should u?:)
Many of us would not even consider it "outing" unless the person knows u.

Outing yourself to someone who knows u is the real deal!:brolleyes:

[Tracii G]

Good point Sherry if you don't know the person its not really outing yourself.

[Stephanie47]

The only disapproving look I ever got when buy women's clothing was when I bought a vivid red Vanity Fair bra and tap panty set. It wasn't from a sales associate. It was from a guy standing behind me in line. It was Christmas time. Back then it was common for me to buy lingerie for my wife. Buying for myself seemed no big deal. I bought lots of slips and lingerie for myself without any sales associate batting an eye. Some were very helpful. The only semi snide comment I got from a female associate was at JC Penny's in the early 1980's. I was buying a Vanity Fair white pull on shaper slip with a built in panty. I had the newspaper advertisement in my hand with the size written down. She gave me a knowing look and a snide comment, "SHE even wrote the size down for you!" She was a middle age lady. Later I decided to go back and buy the slip in black. A different, but younger sales associate, was cheerful and had no issue.

I usually buy my hosiery on line to get a better deal. However, I do use the self checkout line and tuck the hosiery in with my other purchases. If you peruse the clothing reviews at Macy's.com or JCPenny.com there are many from men. The sales associates seem to be very accustom to men buying female garments. Some newly out of high school with little experience with the public may get a little flustered for awhile, but, it sure must wear off quickly.

Shop to you drop!

[Jaylyn]

I've not been as bold as you yet but have bought panties, hose, and a skirt. I you say that's bold, no I also bought with it, two gallons of milk, apples, bread, and a sack of cat food....
You are brave but sounds like the SA was ok with you buying the hose. You might have to look for her the next time your checking out this could get interesting and you'll know she doesn't care.

[Tracii G]

I think most of us worried that first time we bought something like hose or anything women related.
You thought the world would end if someone saw you even holding the pantyhose much less going thru the check out lane.
If you sit and think about it rationally what can happen? Nothing earth shattering and pretty much a non event to be honest.
You did it and you made it out unhurt and the world didn't end LOLOL.
Good for you now its on to buying panties and other stuff that you never thought you could do.

[Jenny22]

Cecily, every fem item I've ever bought I bought in guy mode, everything from cosmetics, lingerie, outer wear, shoes and wigs. If its outerwear, I'll sometimes hold it up to 'examine' it with others noticing, and if there's a female behind me in line, I' often ask her if she thinks its pretty. You can do it, too. Mall Wig store: She asked if I was an actor. I replied it was for me. Her jaw dropped, then she had a big smile and helped me in selecting and fitting. I loved it!

[Sallee]

Nobig deal was it. Were you in Drab. I have brought bras and panties in drab and been asked if they were for me Which I thought was presumptuous on their part. Some thing like are you sure its the right size would have been better. I said it was for me and I know my size. I have also bought dress while dressed and had nothing but good experiences.
We're getting more accepted every day

[Pumped]

I stopped in an local adult store that has a great selection of lingerie. The clerk greeted me and asked if I was looking for anything special. I asked if they had any new lingerie in the last week. The clerk responded, Nothing new in large or XL. I know I have never outed myself, but I often buy siz small for the wife, and large for myself at the same time so perhaps the jig is up!

[Cassandra Lynn]

I could go on and on here about fun interactions with SAs, but it would be a thread jacking galore.
As most have said though, once you do it a few times it becomes no big deal.

I saw Kohl's mentioned once or twice; i have shopped for female clothing in their stores in several states and they must do a thorough job of training their staff, cause they're awesome.
Like Tracii G. said: I had one spend a whole hour with me walking me around to find skirts and saved me money in the process; at the end she thanked me for the great time.

Ok, one other quick one: it was at a Dillard's here in Boise and I purchased some rather expensive lingerie.
The SA at the counter (with another SA standing next to her) asked me if I wanted a gift receipt and after a pause said, "or are these for you?".
No humor, just a questioning look which I took for a challenge, so I said, "no thanks they are indeed for me".
I stayed straight faced and she smiled very kindly and gave a little half wink and that was that, she told me have great day and the last few seconds in front of her I was just any other shopper.

Cass

[Becky Blue]

Good story Cecily, always remember the SA's have probably seen it all before and some.

[TheHiddenMe]

The first time I owned up was when I was planning my day out; a makeover and trying on dresses. I almost chickened out, but I told the SA I was getting a makeover at Sephora the following Tuesday and so I asked the SA whether I could come in and try on dresses. The SA said she would check, the manager said it was ok--and I've been visiting that Nordstrom--and a lot of other stores--on a regular basis since then.

The second time was the day before the dress-up day when I went in to get my nails done. I was going to use Halloween as an excuse but I explained to the nail tech about my plans for the following day. She was so positive I went back that night dressed, and I was pumped up for the next day for my Sephora makeover and Nordstrom dressing session.

The last time was last fall in Vegas (what happens....) and went to a Ted Baker outlet store. I have tried on Ted Baker dresses at Nordstrom--love them (just found one shopping last week at a thrift store for $10 Australian, about $8 US), and figured what do I have to lose? I pulled up a picture on my phone of me in a Ted Baker dress (dressed, of course) I really like and asked if the store had it. The SA, bless her soul, asked when my wife tried it on, and then explained if it was in the fall, it takes about six months to make the outlet store. I showed her the picture again, and said it was me, and she was surprised. I gave her a high five.

[Rayleen]

It happened to me, I was with my wife purchasing hoses , and lady ask me if it was for me out loud. I anwered " what do you think"
and it shut her out .

[karenph]

OMG, that's hoot!

I remember when I was a kid, riding my bike miles from my house with pocket change and a few crumpled bills, buying pantyhose at a party store. I don't think I said anything, nor anything was said to me. I just remember being real nervous.

I share similar experiences...heart was always pounding

[CrossKimmy]

I remember my first time buying something in the store. It was at Fredericks. I got there before they opened. I was so nervous the whole morning and the night before. I barely slept. I walked into the store and there were two georgeous ladies working there. So pretty. I felt a bit intimidated by that but I persisted. I nervously picked out two pairs of cute panties. One was a thing style and the other was a boyshort. I took them to the pretty SA and she told me I had picked out two different sizes. I thanked her and grabbed the right size. I paid for my stuff and rushed home with this crazy amount of feminine energy pulsating through my body.

Another time was when I first was my first time buying heels. I had the whole day to myself. I got up, shaved my body, put on some panties on and put some guy shorts over and borrowed a basic white tank from my mother. It looked like it could be a guys one but the pink label said otherwise. Hehehe. Before I left I was so nervous I actually threw up before leaving. I had intended on trying the heels on in store. I got there and just went right in head first into the women's shoe racks. The SA was in the aisle I needed to be at and she asked if I was looking for anything specific. I told her I was just looking around. She didn't bat an eyelash. I found a very sweet looking pair of white heels that I had to try on. I sat down all dainty like and slipped them on my feet. They were so pretty!! I had to buy them. I took them to the register where the SA asked if I found everything ok. I told her yes and paid for MY heels. She told me that the shoes I picked out were cute and I told her that's why I picked them out. It all felt very natural.

[suzanne]

The SA in a women's clothing store is one of the best people to whom you can out yourself. They are almost always, friendly, accepting and helpful. I found it very easy to relax with them and I now count several of them among my friends. These people have a wealth of fashion knowledge and love using it to help hard to fit people like me.

[Betsy]

I am very new to this but find it a bit exciting but no real problem going shopping for panties, nylons, or shoes while wearing flats, nylons, panties with a mens pair of shorts and a nice ladies cotton SS top. I do have facial hair a balding head with long pony tail so its obvious who I am, partially cross dressed and buying myself ladies clothes. I go through the register and deal with the SA as if I was simply wearing and buying only mens clothes.

[Patience]

I am fortunate to live in a city with a significant LGBT community, so it’s not unusual to see men buying women’s clothes and vice versa.

There’s a couple places I go to regularly for clothes and the staff are aware that I buy more feminine clothing than the average male customer. I have never told them that the clothes were for me, but I have also never told them they were not for me either. Some SAs have even seen me trying on feminine shoes, although I usually try to avoid being seen doing it.

[jacques]

hello,
I do my own shopping and have had a few amusing encounters...
the most recent one was when the shop assistant took the clothes I was buying and started to say (as I expect the shop had told he to flatter the customer's choice) "what a lovely colour it will really suit..." and she stopped abruptly when she looked up to see a bearded man! she was more embarrassed than me!
luv J