How accepting is your hometown of TGs?

[sharifemme]

Two part question - Just wondering how accepting you feel the town/city where you live is of our lifestyles. If you are like me and go elsewhere when out because of the perception that gender identity is accepted there, share with us where you go. I live in a small town in Steuben County, NY and do not feel safe unless I get to Elmira or Ithaca. Ithaca is one of the best small cities in one of the best counties (Thompkins, NY) for GLBT people.

Sharifemme

[Jodie_Lynn]

I live in a small town in the Catskills (read: Red Neck Central). And although they have a "switch" day for the seniors in HS where the girls come to school dressed like boys, and the boys like girls, I really can't see the townsfolk accepting someone like me walking down Main Street in skirt and heels.

>pictures of an angry, torch bearing mob of villagers.....<

[sharifemme]

Jodie-Lynn...

Does sound pretty redneck. Our town is so redneck that the men all shower with their baseball caps on - once a year whether they need it or not! Heh, Heh! Hope you are able to get out somewhere you feel safe.

[Jodie_Lynn]

LOL

Well, to tell the truth, the only time I've gone out dressed, was at night. walking my property. I have 4 secluded acres, so being seen isn't an issue.

I haven't reached the comfort level where I could actually go out in public. Although, I think one night soon, I might build up the courage to go for a drive en femme. Although, with my luck, I'll get into an accident with a dairy truck...........:rolleyes:

[TGMarla]

The city in which I currently reside is a bit backward, with an embedded 500 year old culture based primarily in ignorance and resistance to change. I wouldn't feel at all comfortable venturing out in most places here.

In a state that ranks 49th in the nation in education, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that smarts isn't the biggest cash crop we have going here. Many of the inhabitants have horizons that don't go beyond their own back yards. The viewpoint that something like transgendered lifestyles is wrong, against God's will, and subject to violent rebuttal is very strong here, and not likely to change.

Welcome to minana land.

[Julie Avery]

I've never seen a CD in the town of 2000 where I live, but in the summer, when we do a fairly brisk tourist trade, it wouldn't surprise me, and I don't think they'd be bothered, especially not on a weekend.

I was known by coworkers in town to wear clear nail polish on semi-long nails, and mascara, I took a very little teasing over it, but I've never encountered any overt hostility. I still see those folks at big local events every year and we always sit and chat for a bit.

I suppose the seasonal tourist trade may make this place a little different that a town of similar size that's really off the beaten path, I just don't know.

[Jenny Beth]

We live in a small town of only a few thousand. Main industries here are logging and commercial fishing and the red neck attitudes that go with them. Add to that the fact that I work in the building trades and my wife operates a small home based business and it's easy to see that coming out here could easily cost us our income.

[sharifemme]

Jenny...

I hear you! I see you are from near Vancouver. I hear Vancouver is quite a TG venue. Do you ever go there dressed en femme?

Julie...

You say you've never seen a crossdressed TG in your area. Have you REALLY looked closely? I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and I've seen a few in nearby larger towns. We are not always easy to recognize! It's surprising how many you might see if you are really looking for them.

Sharifemme

[Kimberley]

London: Education, medicine, law, business.... CONSERVATIVE!! (Politically Liberal though.)

I suppose there is some tolerance but acceptance? I dont think so. I have never seen anyone crossdressed on the street. (I am excluding the students here.) I know a couple of post op TS's and their experience is one of general nonacceptance.

As I said in another post, my pdoc suggested it would be a good idea for me to get out of Dodge and into a larger city where acceptance might be more common. I think we need to make our own city... LOL

Interestingly she suggested Vancouver.

Kimberley

[Jenny Beth]

Jenny...

I hear you! I see you are from near Vancouver. I hear Vancouver is quite a TG venue. Do you ever go there dressed en femme?

Vancouver has a very safe and friendly TG area but as with any city there are people who cruise looking for people to hassle. I have not been out for close to two years but I have been out many times without incident. I'm getting itchy feet though.....;)

[janicetv1]

I'm In chicago. We have a very active tg scene so there is really no prblem going out as long as you know where to go. I mean there are parts of town where you can go to shop and play and parts you wouldnt want to be in even in drab.

Luv Janny

[Melanie R]

In Houston we have a large and very active TG community. I have yet to hear of any problems. Of course in Houston as in most towns there are places or areas you stay away from. In April we have officers of the Houston Police Dept. giving a presentation on safety issues for transgendered persons in Houston. We maintain an excellent relationship with the law enforcement agencies and more liberal political persons (not Tom DeLay).

Melanie

[Bernice]

Kansas is the home of Fred Phelps. If unfamiliar, do a Google on him. The less said about him, the better.

I live in a city with a university. I'm not sure what difference that makes - other than politically. However, there seems to be significant tolerance of gays/lesbians in our city that is completely lacking in the rest of the state. Beyond tolerance of gays/lesbians, tolerance comes to an abrupt end.

Hence, I remain tightly closeted.

Hugs,

Bernice

[JoAnnDallas]

Melanie R.... Do they still have the Westimer Art Festible in the Montroes area each year. I lived there many years ago and aways enjoyed the Fest. For those you don't know the Montroes area is the TG/GAY area of Houston.

[sharifemme]

JoAnn,

My Mom and Dad live in Houston near Westheimer. I just love the area. Almost worth the trip from NY. For those interested, Houston is the home of Tri-Ess if you did not know. I believe they are on Bellaire if I remember right.

Sharifemme

[barbie lanai]

I think the size of the town has as much to do with it as the redneckness. Larger towns=bigger crowds to blend into. Tiny town=standout.

And as I have noticed most GG's dress pretty bland about town, most CD's want to dress glam which just brings attention.

I've been out around town dressed down and no one seemed to notice. That outfit in the avatar seemed to attract eyes; and as much as I'd prefer to dress glam, I stick to girl's jeans when out around here.

[Butterfly Bill]

In spite of a certain song by Merle Haggard about my town, population 38,000, it in reality is a place that elects a lot of Democrats and has a lot of black people, not to mention Indians. I have been walking around here in a dress since my arrival in 2004. I also had little trouble in Lawrence, Kansas, my previous hometown. Occasionally I hear "faggot" yelled thru a car window, but that happens only once in a few months.

The town where I have to say I received the most enthusiastic response (strangers on the street giving me compliments), is Asheville, North Carolina.

I have traveled by car cross country en femme (with facial hair) on many occasions, mostly to Rainbow Gatherings, and I have been able to patronize businesses in towns big and small. The kind of places I'd stay out of in a big city (like bars and slummy looking areas) I stay out of in small towns as well.

[sharifemme]

Butterfly Bill...

Wow! I've never traveled cross country by car with facial hair! LOL! Seriously, you look foxy in that dress with the umbrella.

Hugs,
Sharifemme

[Paula T]

I think the size of the town has as much to do with it as the redneckness. Larger towns=bigger crowds to blend into. Tiny town=standout.

And as I have noticed most GG's dress pretty bland about town, most CD's want to dress glam which just brings attention.

I've been out around town dressed down and no one seemed to notice. That outfit in the avatar seemed to attract eyes; and as much as I'd prefer to dress glam, I stick to girl's jeans when out around here.
Of course the outfit in the avatar would attract attention. I would not be able to keep my eyes of you myself. You look so darn good:p

[Kim E]

Hello Shari ~
Interesting thread. Living in western NY, I can only speak from my experience and perspective from living full time. Originally from Rochester and familier with Buffalo and Ithaca I would say it would be much easier to get by there, than where I live now in Redneck Country. (I can see myself moving sometime soon.) These larger urban areas tend to be more liberal and accepting than the ultra conservative rural towns and villages. I feel people in the cities are too much caught up in their own lives to notice us much and in the rural areas people are bored and mind everyone else's business for entertainment.

Living full time, I tend to blend in and pretty much keep to myself. I don't make it a point to get in anyone's face and sort of keep a low profile. When I do go out its usually to a larger metro area and even then you need to be knowledgable where to go.

Kim

[mellisa's wife]

Around here GG's GET STARED AT if they wear anything but jeans/sweats!!

Sometime we stop in after to work to a local bar for a drink. He definitely is wearing "man" clothes and I may be dressed in a suit - silk shirt, heels, pearls and all. They look at ME like I am from another planet. Can't imagine if HE was wearing the same outfit ( which, by the way, he owns!) lol

Just a bunch of *!@*# holes!

:eek:

[kathy gg]

We live close enough to Toronto that we personally don't see a need to do our thing in our 'burb. BUT...I have seen cd's and ts's in our 'burb at the mall, walking the downtown area, and in a few shopping plaza's. Yes they were read and most people although minded their business were whispering quietly once the person had passed out of hearing.

Now in Toronto, it is just a part of the landscape. There is a rather large gay/lesbian/tg friedly part of town, but thankfully there are many parts of the city that I have seen cd's out and we have been out and no one seems to care. Yes they get read but they appear to be left alone. I would say if you are trans, TO is the place to be!

TORONTO rocks!

[sharifemme]

Kathy...

Glad for your input. I really do not try to "pass" so I am probably read most of the places I go. Does it bother me? Heck no! Nobody would even look at me if I go out in drab. I consider it a compliment if anybody looks close enough to read me. It usually means that they thoought I looked good enough for a first glance is what I figure. I remember once sitting in the Common Ground in Ithaca and I heard two lesbians sitting behind me discussing whether I was CDing or genetic. It was quite a discussion as I remember. Yes, I've heard snickers and occasional comments but what GG or GM hasn't? I'd just as soon stand out just a little than blend into the woodwork totally. I was asked in fashion Bug a month or so ago if I was going to a party because I was buying a fancy dress. I told the girl that wherever Shari goes is a party! It's MY party and I'll smile if I want to! LOL!

Hugs,
Sharifemme

[Julie Avery]

Julie...
You say you've never seen a crossdressed TG in your area. Have you REALLY looked closely? I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere and I've seen a few in nearby larger towns. We are not always easy to recognize! It's surprising how many you might see if you are really looking for them.
Sharifemme

Shari, I don't get out much (meaning in drab, I never go out en femme), but if a CD crossed my field of view here in my home town, I would notice unless they were very passable. When I get to the bigger towns within a 45 minute drive from here I'm probably not so attuned to noticing, but I only get there once or twice a month. I enjoy the semi-rural lifestyle we have here, I moved here voluntarily from big cities, and I'm willing to pay whatever price there is in my dressing, but in my case, I don't really think there's been a price, because I wouldn't be going out en femme even in Greenwich Village with my look right now. Great thread, by the way, thanks for firing it up!

-------------


I'm In chicago. We have a very active tg scene so there is really no prblem going out as long as you know where to go. I mean there are parts of town where you can go to shop and play and parts you wouldnt want to be in even in drab.
Luv Janny

On a more frivolous note, Janice, I hear that the really best barbecue in the windy city is in those "parts you wouldn't want to be even in drab," a couple of holes-in-the-wall on the south side....during a visit to the U of C I checked out the two I'd been pointed to by a barbecue mailing list, and I wouldn't even get out of the car in drab ;)

[JeanneF]

Despite my city's (well deserved) conservative reputation, our city council just passed this ordinance today:

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060315/NEWS01/603150334

I've never been concerned about going out here, there are plenty of t-girl friendly places. Most of the bible thumpers seem to live on the west side or in the suburbs, and there's really not much of a need to go out in those places anyway. I stay around the University and in some of the more diverse neighborhoods, and don't have a problem.

[trannie T]

In my little town I'm fairly well known only in my male self. If I were outed most people would be pretty tolerant and accepting. It's just that I'm not ready to be out.

[sharifemme]

LisaCincy...

Love that quote from TWFWLJN! It was the best Wesley Snipes ever looked in any movie! LOL!

Sharifemme

[Darlene Rochelle]

I live in Chattanooga,TN. Chattanooga is Ultra-Conservative.There is little tolerance for the LGBT community. People are very close-minded and quick to judge others.It's that right winged fundamentalist attitude that causes so may unnecessary problems. In Rhea County directly north of here they drew international attention a few yrs ago wanting to make it illegal for gays to reside in the county.:thumbsdn:

[sharifemme]

OOOO, Darlene!

I'm so sorry for you! I thought I had it bad in Red Neck Country. If I lived where you do, I'd have to move. At least I can go a few miles down the road to be myself and nobody will bother me!

[Phoebe Reece]

I have found the Atlanta metro area to be very TG friendly. I've been all over town dressed, both day and night, and never had a bad experience.

[Casey Morgan]

Evidently Rochester has places that are fine with it. I found a website for a local group and they had a list of places to eat and shop that are CD friendly. One of them happens to be the place I got my clothes before, I believe. That would explain why nobody ever said anything. Not even the "what does your wife like?" type questions. Now, I'm not even going to try it in the Three Ps (for those who know what that is). :D

[VeronicaMoonlit]

OOOO, Darlene!

I'm so sorry for you! I thought I had it bad in Red Neck Country. If I lived where you do, I'd have to move. !

Instead of moving, people should stay and Fight! Somebody writes a bigoted letter to the local paper, write one of your own. Somebody makes a nasty slur, call them on it. Things won't change for the better untill we do that instead of clamming up and doing nothing, or moving away.


Veronica

[Deidra Cowen]

As Phoebe said Atlanta is a very cool place to be transgendered. You still have to be a bit careful and for example not go to a waffle house in club wear late at night like I did. :eek:

But you can generally run around town enfemme, people will not notice you or even smile at ya. Just dress correctly for the circumstances and you will be ok down here. I love this city! :thumbsup:

[AngelAshley]

Guildford's a pretty good town. It's mostly populated by university students, most of which are open minded. However, you do still get the odd comment, which is to be expected. I was ice skating the other day and somebody said something to me... I turned round to confront him and he scarpered pretty quick :)

[Bridget]

San Francisco (which I probably need not say anything about), and Davis. Davis is a small town, but it also happens to be the home of one of the larger gay and transgender pride festivals in the area, and is also home to the Whole Earth Festival, a big hippie event. People tend not to really notice or care, as the large neoconservative population is negated by the large far liberal population.

[Sierra Evon]

Well where I live , still not as much as I wish they were, I guess its all up
to me , I'll change the social infrastucture..........LOL

[KathrynW]

Instead of moving, people should stay and Fight! Somebody writes a bigoted letter to the local paper, write one of your own. Somebody makes a nasty slur, call them on it. Things won't change for the better untill we do that instead of clamming up and doing nothing, or moving away.Veronica

Fight, huh? Oh yeah...that'll really accomplish a lot...
"Accept me or else I'll kick you with my 4" heels!"
Would that work as the slogan for your militant cd group, Veronica? :Punch:

Face reality...if cd-ing in public is *that* important to you, and you live in a totally intolerant area...your best option is to relocate. ;)

[BeckyCath]

Shari, I don't get out much (meaning in drab, I never go out en femme), but if a CD crossed my field of view here in my home town, I would notice unless they were very passable.
Hi Julie...
Interesting point, and i thought i was fairly good at T* spotting... but i'm not... I know that in my little town in Oxfordshire (england) which is quite a large miltary town, (we have the major supply centre for the army, and logistics training one end of the town, and we have the major USAF European communications centre up the road...) there at least 3 other TS women in town, but i have never even seen them whilst i'm out and about. To be honest, i'm probably too wrapped up in what i'm doing, supervising my 2 children, getting the stuff i need to really notice everyone else... Maybe that's why i think i pass



When I get to the bigger towns within a 45 minute drive from here I'm probably not so attuned to noticing, but I only get there once or twice a month. I enjoy the semi-rural lifestyle we have here

I've got Oxford about 30 minutes away, and since i'm part of a church in city centre Oxford, and i "park and ride" most sundays, i have no problems in Oxford...
We also have Milton Keynes about 45 minutes the other way, and MK has one of the largest indoor shopping centres in England (Bill Bryson described MK shopping centre as having less charm than a bus depot) and again, I have no problem passing, and i have only ever seen one other t* person there...

So, I guess i'm quite fortunate in living in my little corner of south east england, where tolerance seems fairly universal...

Rebecca

[Monique_Lynn]

Hey Shari,
yuk yuk yuk, they do the ball cap thingy here also, guess the boundery line on the map is imaginary!!!
ginger

[sharifemme]

Veronica...

In principle, I agree with you about fighting for our rights. I am quite active with HRC and other online groups. I email government officials with my views so that they know who I'm voting for and why. I patronize businesses that are friendly to GLBT people. I work at a place that is considering expanding their diversity policy to specifically include us even though I have been assured by our leader that protection is there for me. I always stand up for GLBT rights when I hear comments rooted in bigotry whether en femme or in drab. There are so many things you can do from whatever closet you are in or barely out of. I'd love to put on a dress and attend a town council meeting and demand that they recognize us as people and give us assurance of our rights and protection, but it's not going to happen here that way. My wife and I are in Education and we have to watch what we overtly do. Most people do not want people who are seen as different teaching their kids. Yes, I know people who are able to be more forceful in our cause and all of them are greatly appreciated, but there is always something we can do even if we are not out to those around us. Still, keep up the good fight!

Hugs,
Shari

[Clare]

I live in a small country town. I don't believe that being a 'known' crossdresser would be accepted all that well.

I do understand that larger cities often have areas that are tolerant of different lifestyles such as crossdressing.

[Lindsay Marie]

I have to agree with most of the posts in here, where I'm at I know one other girl and she isn't bothered, however it's like everyone else though bunch of redneck hick moron attitudes. That is why I can't wait to go over the road as a truck driver. Aside from the bible belt which frowns upon pretty much everything, I think I'm going to enjoy dressing whenever I want. Don't think I'm gonna try driving an 80,000 lb vehicle in heels though, although I'll get a good laugh when I hit the DOT checkpoints.:D

[Helen MC]

Here in the UK in the larger towns and cities I have seen TVs out and about and nobody seems to be too bothered.

There may be some cities such as Glasgow where a TV in public would meet with hostility whereas in Brighton , Edinburgh and Manchester for example they would be left in peace and there are bars, clubs etc where they are welcome "en femme"

Of course over here it is not so much the town but whereabouts therein that matters. A TV in some of the less salubrious Council Housing (Social Housing) Estates could have a hard time compared to one in more affluent areas. Again in areas where more hard line type of religion holds sway such as some of the Scottish Highlands and Islands (Free Kirk) or the rural parts of Wales (Chapel) there might be a more hostile response than in the large connurbations.