Advice for a New Crossdresser

[New_Wearer]

Hi, I just wanted to say hello to everyone as a relatively new crossdresser that is still finding his way with this all. I first started experimenting about 2 months ago and after a brief attempt to stop I have found myself restarting again in the last couple of weeks and now see this as something I’m going to explore further.

I had never really thought about crossdressing before but about 2 months ago I was housesitting for my aunt and uncle who had gone away for a few days. Whilst looking for a phone charger I inadvertently stumbled upon my aunt’s lingerie drawer. My aunt is a fairly conservative person and so I was slightly caught off guard by the sight of lace and nylon panties. During my time there, I tried on some of the panties and silky slips that I found and was instantly hooked. When I eventually left the house I took with me a pair of full cut black nylon panties with a lace trim, a hi-cut pink nylon pair with a lace trim, a silky white pair of panties and a plain white cotton pair. My aunt seemed to have a few pairs in these styles so I thought it would be less noticeable that they had gone missing.

Over the next couple of weeks I would wear at home in secret during times when my parents were out. However, whilst I enjoyed the wearing I would experience feelings of shame afterwards. As a result, I then had a purge of the undies in an attempt to stop. However, the urge never truly went away and on a subsequent visit to my aunt I ended up taking a few more pairs of panties. On this occasion, I ended up taking a hi-cut lacy red pair of panties, two pairs of full cut black nylon panties with lace trim and a full cut lacy white pair of panties.

I haven’t told anyone about my dressing and I anticipate that there would be a negative reaction from most people that I know. At this stage, I am still not ready to go shopping but would like to explore dressing further. It is therefore likely that my dressing will have to continue in secret for the foreseeable future. My aunt and uncle are due to go away again this weekend and will be giving my parents a key to their house so that the goldfish can be fed whilst they are away. I think this may enable an opportunity to take my dressing a bit further than just beyond lingerie and so as a novice was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to approach?

[Vickie_CDTV]

Yes, go buy your own clothes. Stop stealing your aunt's underwear and wearing her clothes. I guarantee she would not appreciate it, especially if you are an adult.

[Majella St Gerard]

I agree with Vickie, snooping is one thing, trying on and stealing your aunt's panties is quite another. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Go buy your own stuff. With that said, welcome to the club.

[Helen_Highwater]

If there's one way to raise suspicion you've found it. How many more items are you going to take before it gets noticed.

I fully understand your reticence to buy your own. Buying women's underwear in drab is a daunting prospect. However there are many alternatives not least is online shopping. Buy through Amazon and you have the opportunity to have things delivered to a locker for pickup. Many other retailers offer click and collect or delivery to a local convenience store for collection. You have NO excuse for stealing.

Also have you considered that if your Aunt notices things dissappear only when you're looking after the house, she may say something to her sister!! Alternatively she may start to suspect her husband? Think about where that could lead.

You've, in your dressing, started into what we here consider to be a wonderful world of discovery. On this forum you'll find all the help and support you need. Just don't let your initial excitement take you down a path to family discord.

[nikinylons]

We all pretty much started in our mom's or aunt's lingerie drawer. Don't be afraid of who you are or what you want to buy. Just do it. Online CD/TG friendly shops are out there. For pantyhose and lingerie, I shop at Leggs online. Search it and order. Be a big girl and don't be afraid. We are living in the most accepting times of our lives.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes.....

Welcome to the forum and buy your own clothes.

You were placed in a position of trust and all you did was steal underwear.

[pamela7]

welcome "new wearer". as others have said, do not take others' clothes. It's a tough step, but a man can go into a shop and buy womens' clothes - sales assistants have seen everything, and it is very normal for a man to buy women's clothes. Yes it can feel embarrassing, so go shopping in early morning/late eve when there are less other shoppers around.

One of your first things might be to choose a female name for us to use here.

Depends where you live but people are tons more accepting now than they were. in some parts it's almost fashion for men to cross-dress. you might want to try more androgynous clothing for early outings.

best of luck - it's an adventure

[New_Wearer]

Hi all,

I suppose buying will be a step that I eventually will have to take no matter how daunting it seems at this stage. Moving forwards, I certainly wouldn’t want to create discord between people so I guess my current approach cannot be a long-term solution. My aunt hasn’t mentioned anything thus far and so I am unaware if she knows anything at all.

With regards to a female name, how did you select yours Pamela?

[Allisa]

How do you know there isn't a hidden camera? I know she has noticed her panties missing, you made a disturbance in the order.

[New_Wearer]

I'm fairly certain there isn't a camera in place. However, even though I tried to be careful to replicate the order as best I could I guess that could be a possibility.

[CONSUELO]

Dear New Wearer,
You are on a road to trouble. Stop stealing your aunt's lingerie and go out and buy your own. Its fine to be a cross dresser but not a thief.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Wow! You stole 5 pair if your aunt's panties and you don't think she'll notice. She may have a full drawer of panties, but how do you know that the " hi-cut lacy red pair of panties" that you stole aren't her favorite? She might be looking for them.

She doesn't need a hidden camera; that's new technology. There are plenty of old school ways to find out. She could easily stick a small slip of paper on the side of the drawer that falls out when the drawer is open. This goldfish sitting job might just be a trap.

In short, stealing panties is not nice, and you may be caught. And, your aunt won't ask you directly. She'll ask your mom (or dad) if they think that you could possibly be the one who's stealing her panties. Think about that.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who started "borrowing" mom's panties. I did. But I very carefully place everything back exactly where they came from.

So, here's my advice:
1. Don't steal any more panties from your aunt
2. If you still have any panties you stole, wash them and put them back; or put them in her dirty laundry to be washed.
2. Learn how to cover your tracks
3. If you must borrow, return everything back to where it came from in the same condition,

[sabrina1955]

New wearer, wellcome to the forum.
I would imagine you are heading for some embarrassing times ahead if you keep this up.
You probably have no idea of the cost of underwear, but the items you describe don't sound like the everyday wear but more like either gifts or special moments items and due to their description I would suspect it would be noticed they are missing.
Get your own then enjoy.
How are you going to explain to your Mum when your aunt tells her that her underwear is going missing when you house sit.

[Jaylyn]

If your aunt is anything like most women that are slightly older they have a rider for everything. You mentioned that she had several pairs that are the same color or style, she either found a package on sale and bought the whole package or she is fond of that color and style, now you think she won't notice? Every woman has a color she lives and those are the ones she'll probably start looking for when the pair she is wearing gets dirty and she wants another clean pair to wear. I would bet she may have already noticed that her drawers have been tampered with. I'm like the rest here jet buy your own and then if you are ready to purge you can do what you want with them. We all have purged at some point because of guilt. I'm a full time panty wearer now and I love it as I own my own panties. I have a drawer for them as you can see in one of the threads here where many wear them and took pictures of their dressers drawers full of panties.
Also I would be taken aback by any lingerie you may have seen just because you think your aunt is conservative, what she does in her married life and the way she wants to dress is her business just like its your business to not steal, and be a good house setter. Many on here began from their own moms things ( I did ) by now I own my own dressing attire and makeup, wigs and even heels. Young man I would also like to advise you if you should start dressing get your own things. Then if you get a runner in your hose at least you can discard those and not the ones from a crime scene where you stole them. Remember dressing is fun so enjoy it but do it right by not stealing because then your probably going to get caught.
Welcome to the site you can learn a lot from here. ( including ethics) lol welcome.

[Ariana225]

She will know that the panties are missing. Me and my wife have 100 pairs each and we are always asking each other if one of our pairs accidentally ended up in the others drawer.

Your aunt probably already knows and doesn’t want to out you. Or is embarassed to confront you about it. But my money is on her knowing.

I know it’s already been said, but get your own. Amazon is the best place to get your own because the box will say amazon on it and you don’t have to go to the store yourself and take the chance of someone that knows you seeing you.

[Micki_Finn]

I’ve gotta agree with everyone else. Stealing is absolutely wrong. It doesn’t matter that she “hasn’t noticed yet”. Remember you are representing an already marginalized and misunderstood community and your actions reflect poorly on all of us.

[Stephanie47]

Welcome to the forum. I do agree with the others. Do not steal your aunt's lingerie/panties. The vast majority of women will notice if the lingerie draw has been perused by someone. By your count you have taken at least eight panties. After many years she would be aware if your uncle was messing in her drawers. It is a safe bet she suspects you have been in private areas of the home. If you do not want to be 'outed' this is not the way to keep a secret. Get your own clothes. It is obvious you have a computer. That means you can peruse any website to figure out what you want to buy and where. Make a list and head to the store. You'll be the judge as to how far you want to expand your dressing. Living with your parents is going to be a challenge.

[Asew]

Like everyone else said, don't steal. Initially I took clothes from my sister's discarded clothes so I understand the ease of getting clothes from a family member.

But is is so much better when you get to pick out your own clothes. If I were you, I would focus on getting one outfit you love. This can be your go to outfit. It will let you experience and let you figure out more about this. Figure out your measurements (use a seamstress measuring tape or a piece of string against a straight measuring tape). If you are buying online many sites will give you precise measurements so you can compare them to the ones you took and don't have to worry about how stores have different sizes. If buying at a real store and you don't want to try them on then go for things with some give (a skirt with an elastic waistband or a shirt that is kind of stretchy). Thrift stores are great since they have low prices, are usually sorted by size and have a great variety (and if something doesn't fit you didn't waste much money). Also, measure your feet if you want heels and consider both length and width (in case you have wide feet like I do)

[Tracii G]

Welcome
You don't think she is going to miss 8 pair of panties?
Lets be honest here the phone charger line no one believes and you had every intention to get into her panty drawer didn't you?
Stealing is wrong and you know it.If it doesn't belong to you why do you think its OK to steal it?
Your Aunt is going to know where they went and all the lies in the world won't hide what you did.
If you still have them put them back if not then you have broken her trust and once thats gone you will never get it back.
She WILL tell your parents eventually so be ready.
You are all responsible for your actions so if you get in a huge shit storm its your fault .

Buy your own panties and clothes if you want to dress.

[Jasmine Rose]

First, know that you have nothing to be ashamed of in regards to wanting to dress in women's clothing.

Second, don't be too hard on yourself about the theft. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, you need to get your own panties. However, I think people are focusing too much on the past theft and not enough on what to do in the future.

A large number of us here got started trying on relatives clothing. Many of those people made the mistake of stealing things instead of just borrowing them. I was one if them. Going forward don't take things that don't belong to you.

There are many ways to purchase things. Ordering online can be an option. Many stores have a "ship to store" option so you can go pick it up instead of risking it being shipped to your house. This has the additional benefit of also not needing to be seen shopping for panties. If you feel confident enough, you can buy things at places like Walmart where there is a self checkout. If you do have to interact with someone, whether it is a cashier or someone else, just act like what you are doing is normal and people will generally not care.

There are many tips and tricks available on the forum for how to go about buying things in a way that is unlikely to reveal your secret and also how to best find the right size and style for you.

Good luck to you and have a great day!

[Chloe Triss]

Welcome to the forum new wearer.

Wearing mother's or aunt clothes are pretty much Ohhhhhk but don't steal them.

Try to cover your tracks, wash put them back, if you like those then try another time when you have the chance to house sit another time. When I was dressing into my aunt drawers, I would take a milky bath and buy some pads for the underwear.

Washing and ironing is more work so I just put some pads or tissue in the panties and try not to sweat. Just stand in the mirror, sit, looking at myself and then put them back with a little ironing and there you have it, everything is back to normal in the closet.

Also buy more stuff for yourself. People are more busy and concerned about what they want to buy. It's really ok to just waltz in the store look at panties and stuff CONFIDENTLY cause that will make people ASSUME that you are being ordered to buy or buying for your girlfriend and such. Be in the position where staffs won't come up and ask you what you want. You have to act like you know what you want. If you don't know what you want ask the staffs whether you want to know the sizes of yourself and the clothing, I'm sure that they will tell you and won't judge you directly since you're buying from their store. So good luck crossdressing.
Chloe Out

[Teresa]

New Wearer,
One pair may have been OK if you really felt the need but to keep going back after a guilt purge is looking for trouble , your secret isn't going to be secret for long if your aunt outs you by accusing you of stealing her underwear. If you want to come out go and buy your own and maybe buy some for your aunts and give them to her with an apology . It's a good chance she will be OK about it .

I would suggest you don't go any further with her clothes , it's not very fair on her , you'll have to accept your CDing and move on to getting your own clothing items . Spoiling her clothes possibly damaging them or dare I say soiling them is not good and and will lead to a huge guilt feeling , possibly confusing the whole CDing issue for you .

I understand what the clothes can mean to a CDer , the issue of stealing them is not the problem it's why you need to wear another woman's clothes is the underlying issue you will have to come to terms with , I admit at times it can be a problem and a confusing one at that .

[pamela7]

With regards to a female name, how did you select yours Pamela?

I needed a name for this forum, and an old work project name just popped up. Once i checked out the etymology it felt perfect.

[ClosetED]

Welcome to the Forum - it is a great place to learn, share, and get advice.
Taking that many panties will get noticed. She may choose to not comment, but do not be surprised if you find a note from her next time you house sit. Or mailed to you. Consider your response, such as offering to pay for them.
If you never hear from her, just work on buying your own. Buying one or two pairs, telling a salesperson that they are for a girlfriend can get you through the situation. Many start off getting sexual release, but often move past that. Ordering stuff online is another way to obtain your own. Pantyhose is often a favorite besides lingerie, and getting one pair at a local store may seem like you were sent to help a family member.
You are not alone in this, and not likely to have it go away forever, but it does come and go.
Hugs, Ellen

[Gillian Gigs]

I would never in a million years think to look for a phone charger in a bedroom dresser drawer! I would think that finding panties and lingerie in a bedroom dresser drawer makes sense. So you found what you were looking for, now stop stealing and buy your own! By my count you have taken 8 pair of panties, I suspect they have been missed by now, unless she has a million pair.

[Jenny22]

New Wearer, you can bet that your grandmother knows that her special panties are missing and that YOU took them. The hammer will fall on you, so be prepared.

[Tracy Irving]

I have a few hundred pair of panties and would notice if eight were missing, just saying...

By now you should know your size so go to a big box store and buy your own panties. You can use the self checkout until you are comfortable purchasing from a cashier.

It might not take long before you are going into specialty lingerie shops and trying on high quality undergarments.

[Glenda58]

Like everyone else here buy your own. Welcome to the Forum. Your secret could be out with security cameras in homes you may have been seen all ready.

[PantyBoots]

Buying your own stuff: It took me until I was 23 to think of that. I didn't think when I was young.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've been doing this a long time, probably since I was 10 or so.

There are many ways to buy panties.

If I knew how old you are, I could probably give you age-appropriate advice.

[Julia Welch]

Jeez, I think he got it ... so judgemental !!!

[Joni T]

You're toast now pal. Do you REALLY think she hasn't/won't notice?? You have a LOT to learn about women. You just crapped all over your honor and her trust.
Jon

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o New Wearer,
yeah..yeah..yeah...Don’t Steal !
I think you've gotten the message
by now???

What you need to do is stay away from
your aunt’s house altogether.

There are vacation fish feeding pellets
available. Hell! I’ve seen some goldfish
that lived many years in a dirty old
horse trough.

Much Love,
Kristyn

[mykell]

hey there....

hey i never boosted any clothes says the hypocrite

sooo put the stuff back, your probably already outed by now ?

then get to the TARjET boutique and buy yourself some nice things and go to the "self" checkout.

easy peasey then find someplace to keep your things private until you figure this all out for yourself.

oh we are generally helpful and a good place to share and learn about ourselves,
so welcome to the group.....

[Jennifer2918]

Welcome to the forum and stop taking others clothes.

Since you have an idea of your size, go to a Ross or Marshalls and get your own. If anyone says anything, just say its your wife's/girlfriends birthday. No one will think twice.

If you want outwear type clothings, start with a thrift store like Goodwill. Lots of crossdressers shop there and they wont' think anything of it.

[Connie.Marie]

Hello there New Wearer,
First Welcome to the forum.
Yes, I think you got the point to stop stealing, start buying.

My advice is to think long & hard about your name because it is a pain in the neck to change later.
I would suggest something that you think is pretty & feminine, something that is normal, that you can use all your life.

We don't know how old you are but I'm guessing you're young & don't have much money. I have found that like minded friends are willing to share & tend to upgrade often. Lots of my clothes are hand me downs.
We don't know where you live but if we did, someone there from the forum, could help you. PM someone nearby after you get 10 posts

BTW, once you buy, I'm guessing that you're going to need a place to stash your stuff. Start thinking about it now.

Another piece of advice, Don't purge! If you feel the need to stop, then just put it all in a bag & put away for awhile, or in storage or have a friend hold on to it for you... pull it all back out again when the urge returns. It will save you a lot of time & money.

Hope that helps,
Hugs, Connie

[Helen_Highwater]

Yep, I think you've had enough of a kicking so time for some positives.

I'm with Coñnie, find yourself a better name. I always feel it's both more polite and well, just human, to refer to someone by their name when replying and New Wearer really doesn't trip off the tongue.

Putting on that first item of femne clothing is always a thrill, a real adrenaline rush. This will fade in most and the desire to go further begins. So knickers are joined by a bra, bra needs filling. Underwear needs to be , well, worn under something. A dress or skirt and top. Shoes will start to feature at some point. See where this is going?

Again as Connie points out, you'll need somewhere to store all this stuff or stash as it tends to be referred to here.

Living at home and being in the closet can therefore pose problems. You do need to plan for this. Think about how you'd deal with being discovered. Could that result in a real rift in your family relationships.

I'm not trying to put you off dressing. Hell no. I've had so much pleasure and enjoyment from CD'ing over the years I hope it's something you can experience to. Its just that now, at this point, you're experiencing what's referred to as the "Pink fog". The euphoric rush that can overtake us at times. And in fog you can't always see straight ahead.

So my piece of advice is, take it slowly. Acclimatise to your new situation. If you find the desire goes away then again, follow Connies advice and put your stuff into storage, don't throw it away. It's very likely the desire will return and purging and then re-purchasing can get expensive.

I wish you well on your journey.

[BrendaPDX]

Welcome:) I think you will like it here, keep us booked marked and feel free to share, this is a great group, and almost never a disparaging word. Take a look at all of the forms, there are always new people coming and going. I envy you, you are entering a very interesting and fun world, and general public acceptance has never been higher. Take care be safe and as others have said be respectful of the property of others. Sales Associates (SA) are great, the doesn't mean you won't be terrified with your first purchase. Check out thrift stores, it's a good place to start. Hope to be hearing more from you:) Brenda

[Ressie]

Many alive, don't steal panties seems to be a long time mantra around here. Don't let them guilt trip you about that. I've been on other CD sites where members don't make a big deal about it.

[New_Wearer]

Hi all,

Thanks for the welcoming comments and feedback. As a newbie it's clear I have a lot to learn and have taken on board the views expressed here by others.

I am going to be heading round to my aunt's house shortly as it will provide a free venue in which to dress away from home but I won't be taking anything further with me when I leave.

As I mentioned my aunt hasn't mentioned anything so far but the general consensus here is that she is aware of whats been happening. So why do people think she hasn't confronted me about it? And what sort of thoughts are likely to be going through her head at this stage?

[Ressie]

There are many possible reasons. 1- she might not feel comfortable about a confrontation. 2- she doesn't know yet. 3- she's used to having her undies disappear once in a while.

Maybe she's thinking her husband is getting back into her panty drawer again. She's wondering if she misplaced them? Or, she believes in ghosts :)

[Helen_Highwater]

Hi all,

As I mentioned my aunt hasn't mentioned anything so far but the general consensus here is that she is aware of whats been happening. So why do people think she hasn't confronted me about it? And what sort of thoughts are likely to be going through her head at this stage?

It's a difficult thing to initiate something that may bring about conflict within the family. If she confronts you and you deny it, it then comes to the notice of your parents, siblings could end up in a family feud. She may just be too embarrassed to say anything. Whatever the reason it's good you've seen sense and stopped stealing her things.

One of the members here has a tag line that goes something along the lines of, "They're not women's clothes, they're my clothes". There is a lot to be said for owning your own femme items. They're personal to you. You set your style. Clothes maketh the woman, the woman you want to be.

[New_Wearer]

Why do you say embarassed?

[Connie.Marie]

New Wearer,

If you are going back soon, would this be an opportunity to put them back where you found them (laundered)??
Maybe you can get them back before noticed they are gone..
Or would that cause more of a problem?

Just a thought.

Hugs, Connie

[Helen_Highwater]

Why do you say embarassed?

I wrote; "It's a difficult thing to initiate something that may bring about conflict within the family. If she confronts you and you deny it, it then comes to the notice of your parents, siblings could end up in a family feud. She may just be too embarrassed to say anything.

It's a fact of life that many people would rather let things go unsaid than "Cause a fuss". You should clearly understand being in your position of not having the confidence to go out an buy women's things that there is still a huge taboo amongst some, around males dressing in female attire. It's not a subject that comes up in polite conversation.

You've acknowledged that taking your aunts panties was the wrong thing to do. So could you wash and fold them, take them back to your aunt, hand them back and apologize while explaining you're a crossdresser and not feel even the slightest morsel of embarrassment? If you can't do that then understand she's likely to feel the same about confronting you.

[redtea]

Advice for new Crossdresser

1- Don't

2- Amazon is great for starting out

3- shopping in public is amazing, A real thrill- especially if you wear womens jeans while doing it :daydreaming:

4- Bralette's are great as they don't have the large cup for breast you don't have.

5- CDing.com is a sensitive forum, thread with caution, Be mindful of your opinions, Don't talk about sex, the Adults on here can't handle it.

[Brandie.n]

New_wearer
Allot of good advice on here I am jumping in with how to pick a name.Personally my fem name was what i was going to be named if i was born a girl.It was after a popular song at the time"brandie your a fine girl"

[KatrinaK]

I have to agree on the stealing thing. Not only is it unethical but it certainly isn’t going to help you accept yourself and feel good about the whole thing. Amazon is great. If you’re worried about deliveries coming to the house, they have pickup lockers in 7-11s all over the place for 100% discretion. I still use them sometimes because it comes hours earlier than my house and sometimes you gotta try it on RIGHT NOW!

[IleneD]

New (darling).....,

Mwha-ha-ha-ha [evil laugh]. Now you've gone and done it.

The Curse of the Aunties Panties !!! You have opened up the Secret Inner Sanctum, much like breaking into King Tut's tomb. Now the curse is upon you, and you shall be destined to walk the earth in panties for eternity; (and possibly a nice lacy camisole, a LBD, perhaps heels). You have it now, and it will never go away. Never. Trust me on this.

Go and buy yourself something simple. Think of it as a starter set. A Little Black Dress or something to your liking, a bra and YOUR OWN panties. From now on, STEALING CLOTHES is verboten (forbidden). Don't even wear them temporarily and put them back without the owner's permission. You'll soon learn it's a personal space line to politely not cross.

Clothes are easy to buy. Just do it without a big crap-eating guilty look all over your face. Other shoppers will think you're trying to steal something. Do it in Guy Mode. Here's the secret about brazenly walking into a retail establishment like you own the place and purchasing lingerie or women's anything. NO ONE CARES. No one is watching or monitoring "the guy in aisle 8 buying panties".
Good luck curing your curse. It isn't a curse. Even after the angst, the turmoil and problems CD/TG has introduced into my existence, it is a BLESSING to be TG. A blessing, and I wouldn't trade this experience of self-awareness for any material gift the world can offer.

- - - Updated - - -

My choice for Best Answer of the Thread (so far) goes to ..... Red Tea.
Here I am clowning around, giving poor New audacious advice; and you give her real practical Things To Do for a 21st Century CD.
Love #4 about barrettes; something I found quite by accident but it allows me to wear a bra nearly every day with anything. And yes.... Amazon (and the Thrift Store) are your friend.
THANKS, Tea. Love your answer.

[Milly1410]

I agree as well with the stealing thing, that wouldn't just be fair, but it wouldn't also be helpful to create your own femme self. Like many suggested, Amazon is great for you beginner, so you wouldn't fear being judged if buying in clothes, if you're not that sure about doing it. A suggestion that someone exposed is to pick up a girly name too, it would give you a start to develop your female persona too.

[New_Wearer]

I guess taking the panties was unfair and its something I am going to try to stop myself from doing in the future. I actually visited my aunt at the weekend with my family and desperately fought against the temptation to take anything. It was difficult as the whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about panties and I suppose a part of me is still not entirely over the initial shock and curiosity of seeing such effeminate underwear particularly as most in my family and extended family are fairly conservatively minded people. No doubt because of this a lot of people would get hurt if I continued doing what I was doing and I suppose that if my aunt does know as seems to be suggested here then I should be thankful that she hasn't outed me yet.

So how did people decide upon their feminine name?

[IleneD]

So how did people decide upon their feminine name?

Ahh-ha!! Dear New, I told you. The Auntie Pantie Curse is making you itch. But it sounds like you're trying to make things right.

As to your question, there's is an entire thread under this section dedicated to Feminine Names. Look at the top of the topic page for this section. To summarize, I had some [gay] friends long ago who knew me en femme that called me by my mother's name (Doris). I never made anything of it or used it. I never had a feminine name until I joined this forum. It practically demanded a Femme Name, so I went with my mom's middle name (Ilene). Always loved the old and elegant sound of the word.

I am thinking of changing my Femme Name, though. For good and practical usage reasons.

[LeatherWendy]

For my advice, you need to find your own style + must make decision on are you going to get your ears pierce or not

[char GG]

It's good to see that you have decided to stop stealing underwear from your aunt. She may already know that items are missing but if she finds out that your have been snooping through her drawers (no pun intended), word may get around in your family that you are not only a thief but a creepy thief. The "initial shock of seeing effeminate underwear" should be none of your business but you are making it the family business that you actually had the nerve to steal it.

If you have a predisposition to stealing things (anything) from anyone or anywhere, you may want to get help for that problem.

You may want to get your priorities and urges under control before you worry about deciding on a feminine name.

[daviolin]

Stealing is wrong. Please don't do it anymore. Learn to go shopping on your own. Yes its a little intimidating at first, but as you get used to it, its oh so fun. The whole world of pretty feminine clothes is at your finger tips. Shopping can be just as much fun as dressing. Enjoy and embrace your desires. Daviolin

[New_Wearer]

Stealing is not a general disposition that I have and so I was disappointed with myself for taking in this instance. It's probably the reason why I had an initial purge in an attempt to stop. I am trying to deal with the urges as best as I can and a part of me wishes that I had never seen the panties but I cant help but be curious ever since.

[Ariana225]

Start ordering everything off amazon or a non labeled company. Bathroom products, gifts, stuff for your car, etc. if you’re getting a lot of packages as long as no one opens them you can sneak a few girly items in there. That’s what I did when I lived at my parents house growing up. I ordered everything online and no one in the house would open them or was the wiser.

[New_Wearer]

So I should be having a free house for a week or so later this month and I guess it's probably a good opportunity to buy some things online.

How did everyone decide upon their own personal style?

[jamienoir]

She knows you took them and just hasn't said anything or she'll know soon. Put them back if you can.

I've been buying womens clothes since I was 12 in the 80s. I'd go to discount stores and buy panties, stockings, bras etc. Then I'd go into teeny boppy urban stores and buy mini skirts, heels etc. Hell I even bought a wig in a hood wig shop. I had the cutest heels and tight dresses - I was mess.

You can go to Target or Walmart and buy some stuff and and go to the self checkout line. Buy a cheap towel to cover it up if you're feeling funny.

Look online at gg girls, trans and drag queens and their styles and which ones resonates with you. If you don't mind me asking how are you.

Thrift stores are good too.

[Joanne108]

Embrace being a crossdresser and have fun! There is nothing like looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as a pretty woman!

[New_Wearer]

Thanks Joanne. I am trying to embrace it as best I can.

Jamie - I had an initial purge so it's not going to be possible with some of the ones that were taken but for the rest I guess it may be too late by the time I get around to buying.

[candice.aihara]

How did everyone decide upon their own personal style?
I've been a sporty / athletic type for years so, naturally, my wardrobe fits that style. I also enjoy casual and lounge wear.

[New_Wearer]

So how does the athletic/sporty style translate with styles of panties?

[candice.aihara]

So how does the athletic/sporty style translate with styles of panties?

The panty is made with soft, delicate fabric that's sweat-wicking, naturally breathable, and fits like a second skin. It also has smooth seams that help prevent chafing and minimise VPLs (visible panty lines).

[taylor12]

If you want the panties cheaply i can get you the sexy panties for $1.2$ each in my place and with shipping charges.

You do not understand women mindset
Donot steal her stuff women are know for their stubbornness for small things if you will notice she has been following you when you are sitting on the pc or etc it means she she has noticed.

[Sissy_in_pink]

Be warned, if she notices that her panties draw has been tampered with or panties missing she may set up a hidden camera and then you will be caught on camera, with that she will either show her sister or take it to the Police and have you charged.
I must admit I did try on my mother's underwear and my sisters tights, but I always put them back, even stuff in the rag bag as we called it that I tried on went back in the rag bag when I was done.

[New_Wearer]

I don't anticipate that she would quite go to those lengths in order to catch me out so to speak. Nevertheless, it has now been a good few months since I've been anywhere near the drawers. I am due to visit later today and so will inevitably have to resist the curiosity once more.

[DonnaP]

From experience believe me buy your own your Aunt must already know things are missing. This a sure way to had and will be embarrassing for you . So again buy your own

[New_Wearer]

I managed to refrain from taking anything on my most recent visit. In any event from what I saw my aunt has purchased some replacement panties.

[char GG]

I managed to refrain from taking anything on my most recent visit. In any event from what I saw my aunt has purchased some replacement panties.

Don’t tell us that you actually checked!!!! Please stay out of her drawers!

[jamienoir]

Lol. You might have a going in aunt's panty drawer problem. Please stop. Just go and but some. Trust me it's easy.

[New_Wearer]

Hi all,

I am due to return to do some housesitting once again later today and think I will start the process of a phased return of things that were taken. Whilst i'm still probably not yet ready to go shopping I think this might eventually help to force me to do so.

The other day whilst with some friends, one of my female friends had an accidental thong slip which has now got me somewhat curious about them. How do people find they compare with more regular style panties?

[MiniRock]

There are many possible reasons. 1- she might not feel comfortable about a confrontation. 2- she doesn't know yet. 3- she's used to having her undies disappear once in a while.

Maybe she's thinking her husband is getting back into her panty drawer again. She's wondering if she misplaced them? Or, she believes in ghosts :)

That's the first time I've laughed out loud at something I've read on this forum Ressie. Thank you. Although I have to say you'll never pass as a woman with a sense of humour like that.

Oh and by the way New_Wearer, the best value, top quality underwear, on-line or in the store is https://www.marksandspencer.com (in my opinion).

[Sashauk]

Oh and by the way New_Wearer, the best value, top quality underwear, on-line or in the store is https://www.marksandspencer.com (in my opinion).
I agree! M&S are great for quality underwear - pretty much all of my bras and panties are from them. :thumbsup:

[New_Wearer]

Thanks for the heads up. Looks like some lovely looking items there.

What would you recommend? I'm going to be here for a while so may use the opportunity to make an order.

[Sashauk]

Thanks for the heads up. Looks like some lovely looking items there.

What would you recommend? I'm going to be here for a while so may use the opportunity to make an order.

It depends upon what you like. Personally I always opt for their high leg panties as they seem to give good support - as the reviews for men confirm - but you may well prefer to go for some other style. As for bras I wear their full cup unlined lace ones. I am a natural 40A, and never use forms, and they have some nice bras in that size - the one I'm wearing in my avatar is one.

[Ressie]

That's the first time I've laughed out loud at something I've read on this forum Ressie. Thank you. Although I have to say you'll never pass as a woman with a sense of humour like that.

The truth is funny isn't it

[New_Wearer]

Well thanks for the recommendation. I decided to finally take the plunge and made an order. I'm still finding my own style but decided to opt for things that are close to what I've been experimenting with thus far.

http://www.marksandspencer.com/jacquard-and-lace-trim-high-rise-knickers/p/p22277918?image=SD_02_T61_6101_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp

http://www.marksandspencer.com/jacquard-and-lace-trim-high-rise-knickers/p/p22277918?image=SD_02_T61_6101_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp

http://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-lace-trim-bikini-knickers/p/p60094331?image=SD_02_T61_8062A_Z0_X_EC_90&color=WHITE&prevPage=plp

It's a start so we'll see where this takes me from here.

[Alice B]

I have a question. Who washes your clothes?

[New_Wearer]

Generally, for the most part I do it myself. However, on occasion it will be my mother. Why do you ask?

[Cherylgyno]

Hello rookie. Many of us started in a similar way. Mom's, older sisters, aunts. The important thing is that you are now hooked.
I first dressed in my mom's clothes. She caught me and bought me my own. It was even better having everything fit properly.
The proverbial guilty feeling. We have all felt it at one time or another. My first thought of purging was when my wife caught me about a month after we wed. My wife called my bluff.
We use the word hooked but this is the best kind. Drugs, alcohol etc will damage a person. Being a cross dresser will only bring pleasure to you.
Many of us have been cross dressing since the 50's or 60's. No internet. We thought that we were the only ones that did this. Enjoy the times that you are in. You have the net. Peoples view is much more relaxed.
You can Google how to measure yourself for a proper fitting bra. There are many different stores that will help
Be yourself and enjoy.

[New_Wearer]

Hello Cheryl, thanks for your comments.

If you don't mind me asking how did you get caught by your mother/wife? And what did they say when they confronted you about your dressing?

[Sashauk]

Well thanks for the recommendation. I decided to finally take the plunge and made an order. I'm still finding my own style but decided to opt for things that are close to what I've been experimenting with thus far.

http://www.marksandspencer.com/jacquard-and-lace-trim-high-rise-knickers/p/p22277918?image=SD_02_T61_6101_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp

http://www.marksandspencer.com/jacquard-and-lace-trim-high-rise-knickers/p/p22277918?image=SD_02_T61_6101_Y0_X_EC_90&color=BLACK&prevPage=plp

http://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-lace-trim-bikini-knickers/p/p60094331?image=SD_02_T61_8062A_Z0_X_EC_90&color=WHITE&prevPage=plp

It's a start so we'll see where this takes me from here.

I am sure you will be very pleased with them. The Jacquard lace ones I wear all the time - bought three new pairs yesterday in blue, white and khaki.

[Midessa sub]

I started wearing my wife's panties about 8 mouths ago. Who knew we were the same size. I didn't really hide it but didn't go out of my way to show off ether. When she first found out she was a little pissed but did not tell me to stop. So I continued wearing her panties off and on. I got to wear I would undress in front of with her panties on and she would just shake her head at me. Two week's ago she set some out for me. Last week she said to me well maybe you should just go buy your own panties. That was kinda exsiting. But I like the idea of sharing hers. Maybe she is just really not all that excited about sharing with me. Not sure how to read her about it. I know she does not want to go shopping with me.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Sharon

[char GG]

Midessa Sub, aka Sharon:
Not sure how to read her! This is how: If your wife mentioned that you should get your own stuff, it’s probably a good idea if you did. She obviously doesn’t want to share her stuff.

[Sarah Louise]

This is a great thread. I'm just wondering what your aunt would think if she knew almost 6000 people were enthralled in tales of her panties and 80 people wrote down their thoughts on the subject!

Oh, and don't steal or wear her panties! Doh, 81 and rising!

(Get your own, be careful and enjoy the ride!)

PS. When I was a lad, I used to 'borrow' various items of underwear from various family members and friends mum's. I've no idea how I wasn't caught - or maybe I was.......

........I always get my own now.

[CDYoga]

Only two people in my family know that I do this, my wife & brother. What is your opinion on letting people know about this?

[Becky Blue]

Regarding finding a name, i suggest you Google girls names and read through that list, there is a fair chance something will jump out at you. Alternatively you could put some humour into the panties stealing episode and call youself one of Bonnie, Belle, Moll, Anne or Kate all very famous female criminals :D

[New_Wearer]

Well thanks for the comments and I am surprised to have received such a response which has been helpful as I haven't come out to anyone about what I have been doing.

It's not certainly a situation that I ever expected to find myself in at the beginning of the year but I can appreciate advice given on here that it is not a long-term situation that can be maintained. I therefore am trying to transition out of it as best I can.

I don't know if anyone thinks it might be better to come clean about what has been happening so that the issue can no longer be avoided by affected parties and managed/dealt with head on? However, I am at the same time unable to gauge what the exact consequences of such an approach may be and where it may possibly lead. I would be grateful to hear about how anyone who was in a similar situation received responses from significant others?

[sarah_hillcrest]

I'm a firm believer that unless you want to keep things really small and barely ever indulge then you've got to tell your wife. Eventually she's going to catch you dolled up and the coversation is going to be much more uncomfortable. This is all based on my experience so your results may vary. But after reading your post it appears your young and not married, who do you intend to tell, your parents?

At your stage I can't see why you would tell anyone, you've just got a little panty infatuation right? Who doesn't LOL. Anyway these are the questions that came up when I told my wife.

First question, are you gay? I would expect that question. I don't think my wife thought I was gay, but she had to ask. I was able to answer honestly that I'm not attracted to men.

Second question, do you want to be a woman. This was harder to answer, but I said something like, "No I just want to play on TV." It's really complicated, I would love to live as a woman... for awhile, but I don't want to give up my manhood either. I can see no situation where I'd ever let someone near my junk with a scalpel.

Third question, what do you want me to do about this? Where do I fit in? I didn't have a good answer to this. She was adamant she didn't want to have anything to do with my cross dressing, which I fully respected. But near the end of our conversation she said, "So you're going to be my girlfriend now," which left the door open and so far so good.

To answer another question you had, GO BUY SOME PANTIES! I know its hard but I've done it several places and nothing ever happened, no one could care less. For a sporty style I'd recomend X-Temp boy shorts I think hanes make them. I love them and wear them almost everyday. Very comfortable and great for running and stuff. I also have very traditional cotton panties. I found a bunch of cartoon panties on sale once at Wal-Mart, and you know what the cashier said when she rang up my Cat in the Hat panties, NOTHING. There is no excuse to steal them when you can go through the self checkout at Wal-Mart or wherever and not even have to look someone in the eye.

Another thing to try if you want to transition to full time panty wearing is to get men's bikini style briefs without the flap. They have room for your junk, and are a thicker material, so not quite a panty but close.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I agree with others- at your age it is extremely disrespectful to be stealing your aunt's things. Go buy your own.

[New_Wearer]

Thanks kindly for your comments Sarah that was very informative. May I ask if you have told anyone besides your wife and how they may have responded?

[New_Wearer]

I had a purge last week but am now regretting it. Is that common?

[char GG]

I am assuming that you bought your own things and then purged them.

From reading this forum, sounds like purge=regret is fairly common.

My SO never purged anything, therefore, no regret.

[KatrinaK]

I had a purge last week but am now regretting it. Is that common?

Far too common!

The easy way to break this cycle is to recognize the following facts:

1) Purging isn't going to make the desire to dress go away
2) Self-acceptance, while a challenging process, is the only way to cure the anxiety
3) Throwing away perfectly good things only to rebuy them again is, and I'm being extremely generous here, an "unsound financial model"

I recently had what I call my Final Purge - where I tossed all the hooker clothes and failed experiments that accumulated over the years and kept all the tasteful age-appropriate yummies. That was the only healthy purge in my life, I'm convinced.

You CAN make the shame go away. You just can't do it by purging.

[Aunt Kelly]

You CAN make the shame go away. You just can't do it by purging.
Brilliantly put, Katrina. I may steal that and use it in my signature, it's so good. LOL

And yes, New. It is very common, which is why the best advice is to store, but never purge. It's OK to get rid of things for reasons of fashion, or heaven forbid, fit, but never out of shame. You weren't doing anything wrong.

[giuseppina]

I had a purge last week but am now regretting it. Is that common?

Very common. Purging is also expensive.

The best way forward is accepting yourself as you are. The only thing shame does is induce guilt trips. If need be, see a duly qualified and licensed mental health care practitioner that does not judge. Experience with gender is helpful, but not essential. The overriding issue is judgement. Once that happens, they can't help you. You'll have to find another counsellor.

[Eboni Robinson]

The only things that should be purged are items that you no longer have you use for. Purging is very expensive too. I'm glad I don't do that anymore. They are right, its doesn't take the desire away. Sometimes purging can make it even worse. The Salvation Army is a great place to take clothes that you no longer can wear or don't want to wear anymore. Save yourself money and headache, and keep your items next time dear.

[New_Wearer]

I am assuming that you bought your own things and then purged them.

From reading this forum, sounds like purge=regret is fairly common.

My SO never purged anything, therefore, no regret.

Yes things I had bought along with some that I had previously 'borrowed' so to speak so now have nothing in my collection.

I am also due to visit my aunt this weekend so that's going to be a difficult visit in resisting heading down that road again.

[char GG]

I am certainly not qualified to give CDing advice, however, I wonder if you need to step back, take a breath, and figure out what you really want. You seem (according to what you have written on this forum) a bit impulsive.

Please don’t take anymore of your relative’s things. You know that just isn’t right. If you purchase more of your own stuff, maybe hide them away if you feel the need to purge. Unless you are independently wealthy, it can get pretty to expensive impulsively purge then regret it later.

[KatrinaK]

The other side effect from stopping purging (aka self-acceptance,) aside from a lifetime of good mental health, more money, etc, is that you allow yourself to invest in nicer things because you view it as buying yourself something nice instead of feeding some kind of shameful addiction (which it is not, and you will eventually realize that)

My makeup kit is worth more than my surf board. I’m no more likely to start throwing it or Coach purses away as I am to light money on fire. My wife would divorce me if I purged at this point, but only for financial reasons.

[New_Wearer]

So it has been a good while since I've engaged in any dressing but this week it has been returning to my thoughts. I have thought about coming out to people so that I don't need to keep it hidden anymore. I was wondering how others who have come out approached the situation and thought the best way to go about this was? I anticipate there will be some negativity and not just from my aunt and so would like to minimise the damage as much as possible.

[Charlotte7]

New wearer - before your question can be answered, there are one of two more that need to be asked: Who do you want to come out to? Why? Are you sure that you're ready? Have you thought about the worst things that can happen should you come out? Have you given any thought as to how you might come out? I have recently done an amount of letting people know that I dress, but it's not something that can be done on a whim and without thinking it through.

[New_Wearer]

Well I guess I don't know the best way to come out which is why I am interested to hear from others who have done so. In terms of the worst things that can happen - I guess there is a lot that can go wrong but the consensus on here from other users is that significant others are already probably aware and so the likelihood is that it won't come as much of a shock as I initially thought. On that basis, perhaps it is better to confront the issue and have an open and frank dialogue with affected parties to the situation.

[char GG]

Not sure who you mean by affected parties. Is it your aunt? Your parents? Do you have a girlfriend? Your group of friends, in general? How important is dressing to you? Is it an impulsive thing such as stealing your aunt’s underwear or has it been a lifelong happening? Do you want to come out for shock value or do you really feel your friends and family will have a better understanding of how you tick if you came out? Be careful what you do because it can’t be undone if you find this was a passing phase or attention seeking behavior. Be sure of your motives and understand yourself.

[Crissy 107]

New_Wearer, Some pretty good advice already so I would just say to take your time and I also agree on thinking it through. Maybe decide on only one person at first and try and pick the one you think would be the most ok. Good luck.
Crissy

[Bobbi46]

New_Wearer,
A whole pile of good advice here but you do not tell us how old you are, if as I think you are young could it just be part of growing up and finding about life, you have to be sure that you are a true CD rather than this is just a phase caused by growing up if it is this panty urge could grow out as you mature.
The other thing is a lot of amazement may come about and depending on who you tell once the genie is out of the bottle you cannot be put back in.
What if this is just a passing phase of growing up and pou tell people and you loose friends and some family members may not be able to comprehend your lifestyle and then it all fizzles out after a few months, a few years? you could have lost a lot on the way.
I would excercise great caution consider yourself carefully look at all the aspects of what motivates you, is it a deep need or is it a just a mild interst. In any case hold back from telling until you know properly which direction you want to point in definately for the future and not just a passing whim.
Good luck and be careful.

[IleneD]

Advice for new CD's?
This stuff ain't for sissies or the faint of heart.
You go, girl.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi NW :hugs:, Before you dive into the deep end of the pool,

See LINE #4 in my Signature. >Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[New_Wearer]

Well thanks for the informative comments. As no significant others are yet aware it does help being able to discuss this with others on here who have greater experience and wisdom than myself. I guess one of my biggest hopes to achieve from potentially coming out would be to attain the same kind of direction and guidance without being made to feel marginalised.

I have been doing this on/off since earlier this year and so I guess this has now probably gone beyond a passing phase. Certainly previous attempts to stop have inevitably always ended in failure and so I guess I am ready to accept that this is something I want to continue to explore to see where it takes me.