Levels of Crossdressing

[JanetM.]

Over the many years I have dabbled in crossdressing, several times I have attempted to give it up, purge all my stuff and be safe with my life. Giving it up never works. Last weekend, I decided to get away to a local city, secure a hotel room and spend the following two days en femme. I must admit, it was great and I ventured out into public on several occasions, shopping, buying coffee at Starbucks and getting gas for my car. Sure, I received some stares (mostly from females) but overall allowed me to live out this exciting life. I reflected on the many stages or levels of dressing that I think apply to most of us and thought I would share them. These are only my thoughts.

Closet Dressing: Top Secret Security clearance required. Always seeking hiding places for fem items. Always covering your tracks. Somehow the 1960ish song "Secret Agent Man" by Johhny Rivers applies. With every move he makes, another chance he takes.

Level 2: Yeah, this is where I think I am. Nobody knows about my dressing but am venturing out mostly into gay bars in distant cities where I won't be recognized. I often take long drives dressed and have used female rest stops. Still very secret. My wife does not know. My stuff is always locked away.

Level 3: These people are the Masters Degree of crossdressing. They are open and out there in public. Their families know or worse, have found out and abandonded them. Most of all, they are honest about their feelings. I think most of us would like to be at this level.

Level 4: The PHD of dressing. These folks have given everything up and taken on the work required to transition to full female. Hormones, electrolysis and surgery are on the "do-list". They are the most relaxed and easiest people to talk with. Very respected folks.

Thanks for reading this rambling. I just needed to unwind and this forum is my only place.

[Pat]

The only thing I'd suggest you re-examine is the idea that there is a hierarchy of "levels." Each of the people you describe is doing what it right for them and it's perfectly OK. People who are closet dressers are not "less than" people who are full-time out as long as both of them are happy. If someone's not happy with what they're doing, then they certainly need to change what they do, but it's not leveling-up -- it's finding their happiness. ;)

[Micki_Finn]

Agree with Pat. You wouldn’t talk about the levels of race or religion right? (At least I hope not). It’s it’s just a different experience for everyone.

[Allisa]

Be careful your building boxes and pigeon holing people. What works for you is not what works for others and vice-versa. Enjoy your dressing, it is not a competition.

[docrobbysherry]

It's ok, Janet. As a "beginner" that's a summation of how it looks to u. But, it's much more complicated for some folks and much simpler for others. Having an SO who doesn't know is a huge complication! If u lived alone, thing how much simpler dressing would be?

When I came out to my live in, adult daughter, my stress level dropped, all the lying and hiding became unnecessary. My dressing became enjoyable again! She doesn't approve but we have worked out a do able compromise!:thumbsup:

Your levels won't often apply. I'm a CD about at your Level 3. With zero desire to go any farther. Much less to your Level 4!:doh:

[Stephanie47]

I'm not a psychologist. I do know there is a vast different between me and a transwoman who is transitioning from male to female. I cannot attest to how anyone but me feels about wearing women's clothing. I consider a man who wears one or two articles of clothing to be a fetish dresser. Wearing panties and pantyhose is rather tame. On the other extreme it may be an evening gown with heels and hosiery, proper undergarments, makeup and wig, etc. Throw in the proper enhancements required for a womanly shape; breasts and hip/butt padding and the rainbow of opportunity is vast.

My comfort zone is rather limited. I am content to be an in-home wearer of women's clothing. My needs are satisfied. Everyone is unique. My problem with creating levels of wearing women's clothing is a transwoman is not really a man wearing a dress. I will never fall into level 4. Unfortunately, those who truly are destined for level 4 go through levels 1 through 3.

[Dana44]

So you are in a DADT situation. It is different for all of us and there are no levels as all of us are different.

[Asew]

I don't think you can make simple levels like you did. I have only once every gone out of the house dressed (and it was half fem and for a halloween party, this is currently my profile picture). My wife and her best friend know but otherwise a secret. So I do not fit any of your levels. I prefer to think of it as a n-dimensional spectrum.

[Ressie]

Of course there are different levels. There are different levels of pretty much everything. For example there are low level musicians that I'd rather not jam with because they can't keep up with me. Or they might not play the same genre of music that I play. And some may not wanna jam with me because they can sight read much better than I can or way more advanced. There are also CDs that don't want to be seen in public with CDs - that they consider are at a lower or different level. Sad, but it's true.

We shouldn't be like that because we're all crossdressers, transexuals or transgender in some way. And hopefully most of us don't think in those terms. The reality is some do and some don't. We all have reasons for being where we're at as crossdressers.

[JessicaJessica]

We all do what we are comfortable with and what works for us. It is impossible to generalize and classify us into "levels". Each of us has our own unique "level". There are as many levels are there are crossdressers.

[LilSissyStevie]

There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who divide everything into categories and the other kind.

[Shelly Preston]

The only thing is your level 4 is beyond crossdressing

It describes a transexual who seemed to be crossdressing but was actually dressing in their true gender.

[NicoleScott]

You mentioned Masters and PhD as analogies for crossdressing levels, but didn't assign a level to Bachelor's.
I will. All four levels were BS.
If you wear women's clothing you're a crossdresser, and has nothing to do with how "out" you are, how feminine you feel, how honest or respectable you are, or transition.

[Cassandra Lynn]

The only thing is your level 4 is beyond crossdressing

It describes a transexual who seemed to be crossdressing but was actually dressing in their true gender.

Thank you Shelly, I was wondering when someone would step in and point out that it's not all about dressing.
Actually I think level 3 is a fairly big step towards living in ones 'preferred' gender and the clothes are just a means to do so, but it is merely my opinion.

Cass

[Gillian Gigs]

I would say that for every level of crossdressing, there is a sub level, a category and a sub category, etc. As they say in golf, find the sweet spot when hitting the ball. You need to find your personal balance and comfort zone, then enjoy. Don't get hung up in putting CD'ing into "boxes", because just when you think you have it, something will come along and throw a wrench into the works. By example, my comfort zone doesn't fit into any of your levels!

[Jenny22]

Janet, don't lose heart at so many taking issue with your levels. They are right. There can't be so few levels for so many of us who just don't fit them. You are a 4 year forum member. Stay with us, Janet. Don't lose the opportunity to trade thoughts and ideas.

[Beverley Sims]

Level fifteen, just thinking about it.

Level ten, doing something about it.

Level five, Dressing all the way, with makeup even....

Level one Twenty four hours from Tulsa out to the malls and living full time.

You can fill in the gaps.

I think I am at level two on my scale.

[JanetM.]

WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks

[Tracy Irving]

Only four levels? I don't see one that works for me...

[Amelie]

I think there is a sort of level idea to anything one does and being trans might have levels too. It's not so much that everyone fits into levels created by another person. But some people do have levels or let's say they have goals they want to reach. I think very few people and maybe none on this forum went from being a man and the next day they are having breast implants. Maybe a better word would be steps. One takes steps to reach who they want to be. Not all people follow the same steps. But most people have an idea what they would like to achieve as their final stage in this life. And they take steps to get there. I am not saying everyone here is going to be a woman, but everyone has a goal of what they would like to be in life. Whatever that goal is just be happy on that path.

[Pat]

WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks

Janet -- I hope at least part of the lesson is that people who disagree with your thesis aren't attacking you personally. Don't go away. Stay and talk with us.

I totally get why at first it seems like there are levels -- because we are trained to see hierarchies and it's a natural first try. I think we're just saying that it's not a good model for transgender people -- there's no such thing as someone who is "more trans" than someone else so there can't be hierarchies. I tend to think a good model is villages with roads between them. Some people find the village that suits them and settle down there. Some keep moving along the road perhaps stopping at one village or another until they find the village that suits them. But if you're happy in the village of bearded men in dresses then you're just as perfectly placed as someone who's happy in the village of third-gender transfeminine people.

[Valery L]

I like your hierarchy. I do not find it offensive at all. I'm a proud member of the third level.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Don't be disheartened by the responses Janet, it was actually a very well written post and I hope to see more.
You've no doubt been around long enough to know that thread starting opens the door for folks to agree or disagree with the topic.

It's definitely not to be taken personal. As you said yourself this is a place to vent and unwind; so by all means ramble on , and sing your song...yeah yeah yeah.

A little zeppelin in case you missed it. :heehee:

Cass

[DaisyLawrence]

WOW. I have learned my lesson here.... thanks

Janet.

Alas as soon as I read your post I knew you would be subjected to a 'lesson'. It's in the blood of many members here. Pat says not to take it personally but I know from experience it often is meant to be personal. I bang on a lot about wanting to here ALL opinions whether or not I agree with them. Unfortunately some seem to think that if you have a different opinion to them you are a troll (heard that accusation yet again to someone else only yesterday). I wish people could just have their say without a backlash. I've read lots of stuff that I seriously do not agree with but it all forms part of life's great tapestry and I want to hear it all, afterall, who is to say any one persons opinion is correct? Furthermore many here like to be offended but NOTHING offends me as you can only be offended if you choose to be, and I do not. I know it's hard but please don't be disheartened.

[faltenrock]

I'm a level 3 since years, and I'll stay at that level. Fortunately my wife tolerates if she doen't have to see me dressed.

[Lacey New]

I probably would have made a great spy since i am pretty much "Secret Agent Man" about my crossdressing. Even though I have purchased and tried on a dress at a Dress Barn a ways from my home, I have never otherwise outed myself to any of the SAs. Although, based on the sizes I purchase might be a give-away. I always pay with cash (small un-marked bills) , refuse to give a name or phone number. And, I have several rather secure (I think) hiding places for my stash.

[nikinylons]

Hi Janet,

Great post! We are all on our own journeys, at different places, and in different environments. I've been CDing for 30 plus years and have reached the pinnacle of my journey where now it's all about the enjoyment of doing it. I went through the OMG these pantyhose feel amazing sexual dominance part, to sharing it with a girlfriend, to purging, going through a marriage where she didn't really accept it but rather patronized it, to now where my wife and I share a pantyhose drawer. We've been out a few times and it was exhilarating to say the least, but living in a rural area, those opportunities are limited. We are fortunate to have a large piece of property so I can go outside at will and do what I want when I want. (except when I see the FedEx guy driving up LOL) Everyone gets their fix by different things in different ways. Some girls crave going out dressed. Some like pink lipstick and some like dark red. Some like to smoke VS 120's and to others it's repulsive. Some girls like panties and not pantyhose. Some SO's know, some don't. Some are bi, some are straight. Etc. The beauty of the individuality of CDing just fascinates me to no end. Reading about all of our failures, victories, questions, discoveries on here reminds me how proud I am to know both sides of me equally and the bold steps I have take to confess and explain to my closest friends both male and female. Btw, this forum is filled with good people who all share the same passion. Some get offended easily and some don't, so don't hesitate to ask questions, just take it all in stride. Strut on girl and enjoy the journey.

[Jodie_Lynn]

A nice concept in that there ARE so many different types of crossdressing experiences ranging from "I occasionally like to wear ______" to "I am living full time and in Transition".

With that in mind, I think a classification chart would have a lot more 'levels' and each level would have a large subset of qualifying categories, with a lot of (ahem) cross over with other levels and sub-levels. I think it would be more complex than mapping the human genome!

[Micki_Finn]

My only issues is with the use of the word “levels”. This implies that one person’s dressing is “better” or “more evolved” and assumes everyone has the same goal of “becoming a woman”. I think if you had referred to them as “categories” and hadn’t associated graduated degrees with each your post would have been better received.

[Janie Jane]

As intelligent humans we seek to be able to understand things, and perhaps most often, ourselves. Society tells me I'm wrong to love wearing skirts, but it feels great, so I seek answers. No dysphoria, no cognitive dissonance, just a "need" to understand what's going on, especially a late bloomer such as myself.
No one wants to be categorized by others, at least in a negative way, but categorizing ourselves along what is really a spectrum can help me to understand who I am. JanetM's categories helps me feel that there are others a lot like me, and keeps me from feeling alone. The problem would be if I had the inability to change that self-categorization as facts and feelings change. I want to know more about myself and that's why I'm here. Broad categories help me do this.
Jane