Shopping Nonsense

[ms.joann]

Other day I was at the local WallyWld. in the clothing section filling my shopping cart with some cute clothes when a young female sales associate passed me by saying "Have a nice day SIR":devil: Now really...wasn't that a bit uncalled for? I realize I was in drab but can't people just keep their thoughts to themselves? Have any of you had similar experiences?

[CynthiaD]

Did she say it in a nasty way, or was she just being polite? I don't know how things are in CT. but in TX, she would have been considered extremely rude if she had walked by without saying anything.

[~Joanne~]

sounds like she was making it known that a guy was shopping in a section she personally felt he didn't belong in. Yes, she was being rude and should have been reported to the manager.

[Krisi]

Sounds like she was being polite and greeting the customers as she is no doubt encouraged to do by store (and chain) policy. If you are dressed as a man you should expect to be addressed as "sir".

I don't see anything to complain about.

[ms.joann]

Quite could have been possible that my radar mistook her comment....I could have taken it the wrong way. It really didn't bother me at all and wasn't bad enough to warrant a complaint to management.

[NicoleScott]

People rightfully object when being called Sir when in femme mode. Most of us agree that pronouns and other labels (like Sir/Ma'am) should be used according to how we present ..... which is what the SA did. What's the beef?

[DIANEF]

Having worked in retail for many years if you were dressed in drab I also would have called you sir, although the way that 'Sir' is delivered could make the difference.

[Tracii G]

You ever find it strange that people are quick to get offended if someone says "hello or have a nice day sir".
I have family up that way and I was with one of them and some one said "have a nice day guys" at the gas station.
Nick my cousin said " whats wrong with that guy he doesn't know us" "what right does he have to tell me anything?"
I said chill out bro' its just a greeting don't worry about it.
Took him 30 mins to get over it.I'm not sure if its guilt or just a bad attitude but he is annoying and I don't care for him all that much.

[JenniferMBlack]

If it was said in a polite even time then no harm. If it was said with emphasise on the Sir and a pause then probably judgemental.

[BillieS]

All over the country, some people use the language to get in digs.

It’s possible the SA was being friendly. But the first thing a helpful SA typically says to a customer is, “May I help you?”

So it’s also possible the SA was trying to get in a dig. That’s happened to me a couple times.

In male mode, as I was, I could hardly complain about being called “sir.” But I did take the comment for how it seemed intended, and I factored that into my thinking about the businesses.

If I can, I don’t spend my money at businesses that treat me poorly — for any reason.

That said, the vast
majority of my SA interactions have been cordial and friendly. SAs are typically great!

[Diane Taylor]

Can't say that I've ever had a problem with how I was addressed. One time though, I was shopping in a CVS for hair color and was in drab. I was looking through the "women's" hair color, Clairol or whatever and the salesgirl said to me.... "the men's hair color is in the next aisle". Was she trying to be helpful or did she have a problem with a guy looking at "women's" hair color. If tone of voice was an indicator, she had a problem. Either way it didn't bother me.

[Rayleen]

I never had problems shopping in women's dept. I went to many different shop and people there including staff .

Most women are friendly and some are chatting with me.

Rayleen

[franlee]

All of you that questioned the simple greeting would never have a sane moment down here in Florida. This is a simple way of saying, Hi glad you are here. After all if you weren't here we wouldn't get to sale you anything and I wouldn't have a job, so I'm happy to see you.

[DaisyLawrence]

Surely there are better ways to spend your limited time on the planet than worrying about stuff like this. If it was malicious, so what, who cares, move on. If it was polite, great, so what, move on.

[Sarasometimes]

It sopunds like you misinterpreted her comment to mean more than what she said. If she made a reference to what department or items you had, you have a gripe but not from what your posts says. Now if you were enfemme you have something. WallyWorld gets a bum rap yet I find most of their SA's are more helpful than most in many other more "respected" chains. Hope you found nice things.

[donnalee]

Let me get this right; you were in drab and you object to her calling you "sir"?.
I usually find life goes a lot easier if you don't borrow trouble; usually you've got more than enough.

[Stephanie47]

A long time ago my daughter told me using capitals when email is akin to yelling. Joann underlined and capitalized the "SIR." If the person is elevating the "SIR" in decibels or changing the inflection of the word I suspect the sales associate was showing her disapproval of a man she suspects is buying female clothes for himself. My personal observation of sales associates on the floor at a Wal-Mart is they are of a lower educational achievement class. Minimum wages job holders. In general terms I find more acceptance among the more educated people. Of course there are highly educated people who show disapproval and non acceptance, and, poorly educated who show acceptance. I would consider it a slight.

Has that happened to me? Yes, decades ago I was buying a Vanity Fair pull on white half slip in a size that would have fit me. Trying to fly under the radar I even had the newspaper advertisement (way before the Internet) with the size written and circled. The sales associate (JC Penny) who was older snidely said, "OH, SHE even wrote the size down for you!" with a smirkie smile.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Joann,
Yes, it has happened to me too.
I was out to dinner with a forum friend.
This was the first time I had ever met with
her, so I really didn’t know how she felt about
these sort of things.
Well, our waiter had greeted us, and went through
the the specials, etc. Before leaving us he asked
“can I start you guys off with something to drink?”
(silly question).
You tell me how that comment was meant to be
heard.

It didn’t bother me so much, other than the fact
that I know darn well it would bother some of us,
and possibly my new friend too.

Diane, you should have told that SA something like...
”thats good to know, but do you think this stuff can
be used on rabbits? They are females.

Much Love,
Kristyn

[Amelie]

There is another thread going on right now about "crossdresser signal" on how cds can be identified while out and about. Now if you had one of those shiny decoder rings that had a big CD printed on it, you could have coughed a bit and showed the SA the ring and she would apologize.

Me, I would have poked her eye out with a knitting needle.

[Beverley Sims]

"Thank you Madam" is my retort to scarcastic comments like that, then ask for the persons identification and report them by buying a postage stamp and writing a letter of complaint.

It works better than sending an email.

The store is then obliged to reply and of course, put the letter on file. :-)

Yes I can be a B*****d sometimes.

[Krisi]

“can I start you guys off with something to drink?”

That's very common and it's not intended as an insult. "guys" in this case is a way to address a group of people, male, female or mixed.

Now if the restroom doors had signs indicating "guys" and "gals", that would be a different use of the word.

[suzanne]

Did she emphasize the word "sir", as you have written it? If so, she was definitely out of bounds.

One tack that might be worth trying is to accept all comments, whether sincere, mean, sarcastic or ironic, at their word and reply with "Thank you" and a smile. Show them you're not put off by them and move on. Of course its easier said than done. I try, with varying success, but the moving on really helps me to keep enjoying my day.

[docrobbysherry]

Oh, come on! Give SA's a break. Most try so hard to be nice and please everyone. You're presenting as a guy and the SA's supposed to know your trans and call u---what? Miss? Mrs? Maam? Lady?:doh:
Imagine how confusing this all is for them!?

I'm perfectly satisfied to be called ANYTHING by SA's as long as they r smiling when they say it!:)

I'll never forget that poor, harried service lady serving a long line of patrons waiting for food in a Vegas hotel lobby. I was on my way to a T event dressed and she got me my sandwich and called me, "Sir". I thot nothing of it until she came back with my change and apologised for called me that. I told her it didn't bother me but that it was very nice of her, busy as she was, to even think of mentioning it!:thumbsup:
Because it WAS!

[Karen RHT]

A simple "Thanks, and you have a great day as well" would have covered it either way.


Karen

[Pat]

I'm perfectly satisfied to be called ANYTHING by SA's as long as they r smiling when they say it!:)

Total wisdom. I always say I'll accept any pronoun used with respect. In the OP, "Sir" was underlined which seems to imply a little topspin added to it, so maybe it wasn't respectful? Dunno. https://youtu.be/0OnpkDWbeJs

[Majella St Gerard]

The SA emphasized the word Sir, sounds like she was being a smart-ass

[Dena]

I never had problems shopping in women's dept. I went to many different shop and people there including staff .

Most women are friendly and some are chatting with me.

Rayleen

This has also been my experience of 30 years of shopping.

[t-girlxsophie]

As a supermarket worker,albeit nightshift where my interactions with customers are rare,we are always reminded to be courteous and polite,and believe me on ocassion that can be a tough ask with some customers,Im sure you would be quick to complain,rightly I may add if you felt the assistant was rude or less than helpful

And on a personal note,I find the accusation that I've read here,that anyone working in retail is of lower intelligence,to be ignorant and condescending

[sometimes_miss]

Gee, a member of the general public that thinks it's inappropriate for a male to be shopping in the woman's section. What a surprise! Isn't the world completely accepting of those who don't fall into the two completely separate gender assignments?

Welcome to real life. There are still plenty of people out there who think we are sexual deviants, perverts, and would be just as happy if we were all dead, because they can't stand the idea that we even exist.

[NjJamie]

ms.joann, a funny thing happened to me the other day in JC Penneys. I had somehow gotten up the nerve to actually walk in and was having a great time looking around when I ended up almost face to face with an SA in the aisle, not sure who was more surprised but she said "hello" and it freaked me out to the point that I couldn't respond! I'm not sure how it was meant and took it as a negative, headed to the nearest exit and wondered how I should have reacted. Once safely in the car I realized I should have simply smiled, replied with a "hello to you" and kept looking for a great outfit, hopefully in the clearance racks!

I have spent more time than I should have in WallyWld, in the women's clothing section along with the shoe and jewelry sections before heading to the self-checkout registers, positive everyone else in the entire store knows what I'm doing, only to realize they are almost 100% too busy doing their own thing to notice, except of course for the dreaded late teens who cruise like barracuda looking for easy targets such as us. As long as you don't wear any shiny objects and maintain a safe distance I think it's all good.

[Dominique12]

It has been my experience that the people "working" at Wal-Mart do not want to be there. As my mom used to say, they are only "making eight", or probably less in Wal Mart. So, the snarky comments are probably directed at everybody. They are taking it out on you/me/us. I have, on occasion, been given the evil eye by a SA in WM, but never spoken to. And I go in the women's section each time I go there. I always go through the self checkout, just make sure your item has a price tag on it, so you don't have to ask for help.

[Angie G]

I enjoy someone saying Have a nice day no matter who it is and always give them the same.:hugs:
Angie

[Tracii G]

Seems the comments from the members that had a problem with it were from Connecticut.

[Kay J]

Only you can tell by the tone of her voice. I would of just smiled and said you have a great day also, thank you. If you think she was being rude just say thank you missy.That would be like calling a guy a boy .

[Pat]

Seems the comments from the members that had a problem with it were from Connecticut.

And?? I'm totally missing your point here.

[Sallee]

sounds like she was just being friendly Men do shop for women's cloths for lots of different reasons. So I'll assume the best. Now if she said sir and you were dressed fem that would've been different

[Genifer Teal]

I don't understand why it's deemed polite to have to identify someone's gender and say it out loud. You could just as easily say have a nice day or have a nice day sir they have the exact same meaning to me. One is less insulting if you're wrong.

[Cherylgyno]

In the Midwest she would have been considered rude if she didn't address you proper.
Places that I shop regularly the SA's greet me as Mr. G. Hi Mr. G how may I help you. Mr. G we have some new panties in. Etc.
I shop somewhere new. I enter, find an available SA. I introduce myself first and last name. I explain that I am shopping for myself.
If a passer by asks how I am doing. I say Just super duper (etc). I great that person And how might you be this fine day.
If the person is nice enough to greet me, I am going to greet that person in an enthusiastic manner.

[Lana Mae]

Simply: if dressed in drab expect sir! Presentation is the identifying factor! Just my $0.02! Hugs Lana Mae

[Vickie_CDTV]

Before complaining to a manager about such a thing, please absolutely sure the person actually meant to be insulting. It can cost someone their job, and with being fired on their record may not be able to find another job (especially in depressed areas.)

[BrendaPDX]

I was in the womens lingerie department and another customer said "aren't you in the wrong department?" I was much younger then and basically ran away.

[marsha leanne]

i would just say' thanks, how is your day going?' treat it as if nothing happened. if there was intent, then it has been defused and the sa is on the defense, if not, hey, i may have found a shopping ally.
if i get mis gendered, either by mistake or on purpose, i reply, 'guy, gal, he. she. doesn't matter, i'm easy" that throws them off. i am either left alone as they dissippeer, or i get an apology and an offer to help as they try to make up for the gaff.
i've got too much going on to worry about silly pronouns in a shopping setting.

have i been clocked, yes, have i been cautiously ignored, yes, have i been made to feel i passed and have been helped?, yes. (most of the time.)