It came back very hard

[FirstTimeCD]

Few months back I decided to purge the desire to dressed. I was so ready to buried the desire forever. I was about to forget my dressing need completely but from last few days it came back hard. I cannot control myself. I did not want to but I made a trip to shoes store to try some women shoes. The urge is so high that I am thinking to go for pedicure too. One side of me says not to do that and One side of me is pulling me to the other direction. I am meeting someone next week and my girl side is telling me to wear girl shoes on my male jeans and go to meet her.

[Tracy Irving]

Those on here who write of their purging experiences are generally regretful. I have never heard of purging the desire though. That seems quite a bit harder.

Just be true to yourself.

[SuzyZahn]

You`ve been captured by the `pink fog`. Accept it. It will never ever totally ever go away from your psyche.

[Drew GB]

I just posted my feelings on another thread but they apply here as well so let me repeat myself Incase you don’t see the other thread.

My feeling as of late is no matter the hardship being out and being myself will far outweigh the negative things that may come.

[tammy1]

I nearly completely lost touch with my feminine side for some, time but once sparked, those feeling came back stronger than ever. Wearing "girl shoes" out on your date (1st date?) will certainley give her pause to probably ask a few questions: are you ready for that or is she already aware and in tune with your girl side?

[FirstTimeCD]

I nearly completely lost touch with my feminine side for some, time but once sparked, those feeling came back stronger than ever. Wearing "girl shoes" out on your date (1st date?) will certainley give her pause to probably ask a few questions: are you ready for that or is she already aware and in tune with your girl side?

It is not date kind of date. She is just a good friend. She know little about this but she will not be expecting me to wear girl shoes 👠 that is for sure.

[Elizabeth G]

It's not unusual for the need to dress to go away, but it always comes back. I have had my dressing desires go dormant for years only to return stronger than ever.

[CONSUELO]

Do you mean you repressed your desire to be dressed in feminine mode or do you mean you threw out, that is purged, your wardrobe of female clothing?

Either way a review of past threads on this topic will show you that it does not work. If you throw out your clothes you are just wasting your money. If you repress your desire to dress for a long period the need will just build up until it is ready to explode.

[Teri Ray]

Once you find you have the desire to crossdress it is my experience (and some others here) that you are not likely to ever have it go away. It will likely ebb and flow but at some level the desire will remain. I often joke about about a crossdresser rulebook (hand book) but there are no hard rules or facts. Everyone who finds they are part of this forum likely has found many common feelings, and experiences about crossdressing. Lots of us share many common feelings and experiences, however each person likely finds differences as well. One common experience is some level of self loathing about this desire (why do I desire to do this...dress as a woman). For many of us it comes and goes. Some, like myself, finally give up the need to understand and just accept that it is part of who I am. For me it was like trying to understand why I like to eat ice cream. The more I tried to understand my desire to dress the more confused I became. I love dressing and I can't explain why. Best wishes to you as you try to figure this journey out.

Hmmmm I just realized that I also don't understand why I did not become a lumberjack. Might have to work on that one.

[Tracii G]

I'm sure many here can relate to whats going on with you.
Go with the flow is about all you can do because repressing a part of you isn't healthy sometimes.
I have been dressing in 100% girl mode for weeks now just because it feels right.
Will it last? Who know I am just going to ride it out until I feel like doing the 50/50 thing again.
The lady next door is enjoying my girl side because she waves and say hi more often.
Her son and daughter in law come over every other day so the baby can spend time with Grandma so they have seen me here lately.
They seem like a nice couple so I'm sure Grandma has filled them in on the "lady" neighbor.

[Kay J]

I purge once because of guilt. It was not a smart thing to do. I know now it will always come back hard every time,and with age also. Just let it all go and enjoy the ride.

[Beverley Sims]

If you are going to wear girl shoes, the rest of you should be girl too.

[Barbara Black]

I see no problem with wearing 'girl shoes', especially if you aren't afraid of her reaction either way. But it doesn't have to be six inch heels either.

[CynthiaD]

You can purge the desire if you want to. When the thought occurs to you, force yourself to think about something else. There are lots of other ways as well. A therapist could help you.

But first:

Why do you want to purge the desire? There's nothing wrong with crossdressing. It's not illegal or immoral. It's not a weakness.

Does it make you happy? Before answering that question, put aside the thought that it's something you're "not supposed" to do.

Does it make you a better person? Personally, I would answer this question "Definitely yes!" I couldn't give up crossdressing without giving up the best part of myself. But ultimately, you must do what's best for you. And you're the only one who can decide that.

All the best,
CK

[tammy1]

NEW RULE? ... Never Purge or feel Guilt!? Having been raised in a very conservative family and religous sect, with strict moraes and expectations as to "boys being boys and girls being girls", i was raised on "guilt". It took some time, decades actually, with social expectations and work requirements, it was only several years after retirement that i started to become comfortable with the "girl inside".
Although i do not possess femine skills aquired though growing up a a "girl", i have never denied my femine side, as my wife would confirm,and have only recently during the last several years, felt totally comfortable with my fem side. More recently, in recent months, enjoying the ful benefits of my "girl side".

All of us here owe a great deal of thanks to our LGBTQ community for their on-going efforts for social acceptance. We as "tribe members" of our special group of girl interests and feelings are, believe it or not, part of those efforts. Lets heel up and march on!

[Nef]

when i was younger, i purged everything i had in my secret closet twice out of shame.. and both time it wont last long until i bought new stuff to replace them.