Something wrong here!

[Lana Mae]

From all accounts, Gender Dysphoria causes anxiety and /or depression! So why am I in such a good mood and almost Manic?
Today in my normal male presentation, I did the tasks of paying the water bill, shopping for meat at the butcher shop, and getting the rest of the groceries! So, I felt like I wanted to do all of these tasks dressed! Is it possible to be happy and depressed in the same instant? This is the strongest the desire to be dressed has ever been without me dressing! (I am not "out" in my town!) Or does having painted nails and earrings ID you as trans? I of course will discuss it with my counselor next time we meet! Thanks in advance for any comments or advise! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

The nails and earrings don't mean anything other than you like having them.Personal preference thing IMO.
I am never depressed and I'm trans so one does not always go with the other.
I say accept you for who you are and others will too eventually once they get to know you.

[Allisa]

Lana what have you to lose if you go out dressed in your town? What you do away from your occupation is your business and yes people will talk but so what? After awhile when the "shock" wears off others will see you as the person you once were and still are and maybe happier and more relaxed, but only you know your neighborhood and the people who reside there. You don't have to be an ice breaker for the CDing community but only you know you, please discuss this with your counselor as you plan to.Good luck in whatever path you decide. This is one of those very difficult personal decisions.

[tbryant2k16]

It's really only gender/social norms that are dictating how people should dress and act. The gender norms also give the gender labels to clothing. Other than that there is no reason why anyone can't wear whatever they want. Today's social norms say that if your a man, you must conform to the male gender norms. If you go against the norms, your essentially considered a homo or have some 'illness'. And there is nothing wrong with breaking down these gender/social norms and should not be considered an illness or anything else.
Society has made it clear that men must act and dress a defined way. You see many posts on social media that show this 'perfect or real' man, weather it's a cowboy, construction worker, fireman, etc.. That's just stereotyping based on gender. The same also affects women. Men and woman are placed in a controlled box and you can leave it if you dare.

[Jaylyn]

Lana I think Tbryant summed it up very well in her post. You just need to you and I'm sure no matter what your dressed in you shouldn't feel anxiety or depression. If you want to dress and do the chores go for it or in male mode go for it.

[tbryant2k16]

For the most part, they are just clothes that you wear no matter the gender label assigned to them. I just find women's clothes more comfortable, but will mix and match men/women clothes if I want. I also don't go out to present female either, so no makeup, wigs, but wear bras, with false breasts. So I'm really a mixed bag.

And if you were to look in to the history of many clothes, the gender labelling is only a recent thing. Prior to that clothing was pretty gender neutral, men and women wore basically the same things. Skirts and tunics were the defacto wear for thousands of years for men and women. Then for some reason, society decided that they need restrict what defines a man and woman. That went to how they act and dress. For many decades women were really restricted quite badly. Look at how long it took before it was socially acceptable for women to wear pants. Pants were considered too masculine for women.

We just need to get rid of these social and gender norms because they are outdated and unneeded.

[Tracii G]

I just don't care what the buzz word of the week is (gender norms) in this case. I wear womens clothes because I want to and that is that.

[tbryant2k16]

I just don't care what the buzz word of the week is (gender norms) in this case. I wear womens clothes because I want to and that is that.

Exactly!!!! Wear what you want because you want to.

[Tracii G]

No one can tell you what you can and cannot wear.

[rhonda]

Maybe you should try generic clothing , it might relieve some tension

[Kelly DeWinter]

From what I understand from reading accounts here, Gender Dysphoria does not cause anxiety or depression, the inability to express your gender preference may cause anxiety or depression. For some people who dress more the thought of not being able to dress in public because of public opinion
causes anxiety or depression. The coin seems to have many sides.

[Rachael Leigh]

Lana I’m finding now at work that if I’m dressed a bit gender neutral I feel more calm. Some makeup as well.
I do find myself depressed at times when I’m only out in men’s clothes so it could be related in that I no longer feel I’m
being real if I’m dressed as the society expects me to dress so I know exactly what your saying and agree with much what
others have said here too

[Judy-Somthing]

Maybe Gender Dysphoria causes anxiety and /or depression if your deprived from expressing yourself!
I've been sad/unhappy that I haven't been unable to dress in two years!

Today my wife and daughter were discussing makeup and my wife made a snide remark when I made some comments about makeup!

[docrobbysherry]

U want to pay your bills dressed? And, I've read posts where T's enjoy doing housework dressed in maid's outfits!:straightface:

And, people think I'm weird for wearing masks to look fem!?
:doh:

[Alice Torn]

Sometimes the pink fog is overwhelming. other times it is easier to say, not today.

[Tracii G]

Rachael I hear that "not real" term a lot and I find that confusing.
I guess you mean not authentic or "living a lie" which I find strange.
Maybe I am too simplistic in how I view things because I have never felt I was anything other than who I am no matter how I was presenting.
Kind of glad I never felt like I had to be anything else.

[kimdl93]

Glad your are feeling so good.

Now, as a very experienced depressive, I would submit that the condition is not necessarily caused by gender dysphoria, but can coexist with and exacerbate dysphoria.

[Jaymees22]

I was out and about last week in male mode and just felt "Happy", so I think it's how you feel on the inside rather than how you present on the outside.

[Pat]

Lana Mae -- Didn't you just have a big trans adventure where you spent days dressed and interacting with everyone as yourself? You could be feeling residual happiness from that. :)


No one can tell you what you can and cannot wear.

My Drill Sergeant would have disagreed. ;)

[Taylor186]

For many of us here the desire to dress has nothing to do with Gender Dysphoria. The way I read the following link regarding GD it has little or nothing to do with clothing: what-is-gender-dysphoria (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria)

[suzanne]

The depression and anxiety come from being prevented from owning your truth. But you're expressing yourself just fine, so freedom feels like it should to you.

[DaisyLawrence]

Or does having painted nails and earrings ID you as trans?

No. Why would it? It identifies you as someone who likes earings and nail polish, just like me, and NOTHING more. When I present male (the majority of the time) people don't look at my ears and think 'he is trans' they just see a bloke with earings. Same goes for polish. For every male 'trans' person presenting as male but with earings you see, there will be a billion other ordinary blokes with earings. If you want to send a trans signal then wear a dress, that might work.

[Teresa]

Lana,
Severe GD is depressing for those who really have the deep need to transition , they feel they are in the wrong body and nothing is going to remedy that until mind and body are in alignment .

The depression TGs feel is the ups' and down of our chemistry , you just had a " HIGH !" from Keystone the reversion back to reality and accepting drab is mildly depressing to some , to others it's a natural break , full time isn't on the agenda so it doesn't cause any problems with some CDers .

Your counsellor can advise on dealing with these issues . One good thing is it's not a crime to be happy and admit it , well not yet anyway !!

[Rhonda Jean]

I think after you do something for a while it becomes your new normal. This is the case with your earrings and nail polish. There are a lot of members here who are still afraid to wear panties under their jeans in public. Do earrings and nail polish ID you as trans? To some people probably so. To just about everybody it would identify you as gay. To DaisyLawrence's point, in the strictest of sense it means nothing. People's reactions and snap judgments aren't typically made according to impressions, not just the obvious facts. I mean, aren't you actually TRYING to send some message beyond just the fact that you like nail polish and earrings? Isn't that the point of it? The "why" you like to wear nail polish and earrings is the real story. Yeah you like it, but why you like it is the interesting part. I'm not as out as you are with it, but when I'm carrying a purse and wearing nail polish in male mode it's hardly just a matter of practicality and whimsy. I got by for 50+ years without carrying 10 pounds of assorted stuff around everywhere I go, so the "practical"argument really doesn't hold water. If I really felt like I needed that stuff for some reason I could carry it in a non-descript sack with a strap.

Damn right your earrings and nail polish send a message. Let's not pretend that it's meaningless. I don't think we want it to be meaningless! It certainly doesn't replace getting completely dressed, but it gives you something to feed that side of you 'till you get to the next time you can completely be yourself. Wearing nail polish to work is a big deal! Don't discount that just because you've gotten used to doing it.

[Kate Simmons]

Being myself always makes me happy my friend. Enjoy it. :battingeyelashes::)

[Lana Mae]

OK, let's try this again! I answered everyone pushed quick reply and was not logged in and when I logged in I lost it all! Short bursts this time!

Tracii-I accept myself! Not sure about others but no problems so far!
Allisa-Thanks so very much! Yes, I will discuss this with my counselor! Yes, it is a hard decision!
Tbryant-Yes much of what you are saying I know!
Jaylyn-Thanks!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

- - - Updated - - -

Tbryant-Yes I know!
Tracii-My male clothes are female clothes! Women's jeans, v-neck tee shirt and flats with panties and pantyhose and knee his some times! No wig, forms/bra, or make up!
Tbryant-See my last reply to Tracii!
Tracii-I know!
Rhonda-See first reply to Tracii!
Thanks for your replies!
Hugs Lana Mae

- - - Updated - - -

- - - Updated - - -

Kelly-I could have dressed but did not! The desire was there and was the strongest it has ever been and I did not dress! I feel that I need to take the next step and being out doing the chores in female mode might be that next step!??
Rachael-I am not out at work but my boss has seen my fingernails and knows my ears are pierced! She is a reasonable intelligent woman and probably has figured it out! I am not out in that I have not mentioned it to her! I am a nurse so the uniform is the same for male and female-scrubs! Not sure if being out would cost my job or not! So I dress "male" LOL It is the only place I wear male undies and support socks!
Judy-You have more patients than me, re:the wife! I have no spouse at present and do not need another! I held off on this for 34+ years! No more!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

- - - Updated - - -

Doc-Not in to Maids outfits! Masks are OK if that is part of your expression!
Alice-Thanks!
Tracii-For now, I have to be the male me at work!
Kim-Thanks! Your view on this is appreciated!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

- - - Updated - - -

Jaymees-Yes, I agree with that!
Pat-That could be it! Drill sergeants are tough! LOL
Taylor-I know the definition and yes it really has nothing to do with clothing but clothing can be a means of expressing it! It is not about the clothes. It is about the feeling!
Suzanne-Thanks, I agree!
Daisy-Sorry, I do agree about the earrings but not the nail polish! I have not seen another male with nail polish at all! One of the women at the grocery store giggled and said she had never seen a man with nail polish! I have seen three men get pedicures and none got polish! Polish is unique and yes most likely gets you a gay ticket!
Teresa-Yes, I am discussing this with my counselor! Happiness will be next! LOL
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

- - - Updated - - -

Rhonda Jean-They do send a message don't they! My counselor told me she thought being out in male mode with nail polish was braver than going out dressed! I don't feel that way but maybe I should! I could be wearing a dress! LOL
Kate-Thanks my friend!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

[sometimes_miss]

Well, could be bipolar disorder, just not on the severe end of the scale.

[Janie Jane]

Well, could be bipolar disorder, just not on the severe end of the scale.

That's a bit of a stretch. Bipolar is a very serious condition. I'd guess Lana had something of an epiphany in her thinking, the kind of thing I had maybe 8 weeks ago when I decided to go out dressed for the first time-to my depression/bipolar support group.

[Lana Mae]

Lexi-No, only two aspects of one! The personalities are the same!
Janie-Very funny! LOL
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae