What do I want out of this? - a gg pov

[Littleg2]

Hello to all, I hope you are doing well. :)

It's been a while since I have been on here, and it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do! But, I wanted to drop in and say hello (Hello!) and ask you all a question, of sorts.

Again, I am the SO (GG) to Monnica, my lovely CD'er. Everything there is going wonderfully. <3 We have had more time for her to dress, completely and partially, and I enjoy it very much. I like to get involved, offer advice, buy her things, paint her nails...ect. One day, what I hope to just refer to as "the usual" (as I wish it was this way for everyone of you, not just a select few.).

Anyway, she has opened up to me about a lot of personal fantasies and desires, none yet seem too far fetched, or impossible. Not what I am used to, but I like to please and be pleased, as I say, I love her and will do what I can to help her fulfill as many as possible. But, something came up in conversation that I don't know how to answer; What do I want out of all this? I do mean specifically the dressing and all things related. I honestly never thought about it, and now I have to. I should. She asked and I would like to be able to answer, but this seems so much about Monnica, I never really thought of it that way and considered what I would like to accomplish or experience with her. I look online into these things, but want to make sure it's all right for me, not just a contrived idea I *think* M would like.

Has anyone else put this question to their SO? I was actually so moved when M asked me, because it shows me that M is not a selfish, narcissistic person (not completely - lol), and she genuinely cares about what me and what I want and how I feel about it all.

Anyway, that's it for now. I have quite a bit of reading to do... See you around the boards.

Thank you in advance for any insite, it's always appreciated.

-g

[Dana44]

I have never ask about that question to my accepting SO. but we talk about that and she loves me even when dressed. So, it has been good. but sometimes she thinks it is strange. But never complains. So basically it is up to you on how to feel about it. Your very good to him and that is great.

[kimdl93]

Thats an excellent question. Its something I certainly didn't ask my ex...which may in part explain why she parted company with me. I'm curious how you replied...if you have.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I just asked Jeannie, she said ............ Jewelry.

[ChrisP]

It's a great question, and a starting point for negotiations on this in your relationship.

Would you like your spouse to be doing more housework? Having Monnica attend to domestic chores while dressed up is one way to link your wants with hers.
Do you enjoy shopping? Monnica (in male mode) can accompany you and help more. In turn, you can always find something for her as well.
I think the trick is linking the activity (in this case Monnica's crossdressing) with something you enjoy.
It can be a win-win if you spin it right.

[Teri Ray]

Hiya Little,

Thanks for the insightful question. I would like to say you seem to be a wonderful caring person. With that said it is a very interesting question that I have not thought about asking my wife. The more I ponder the question the more confused I get.

I had not considered that my dressing would be, or should be, something that my wife would consider something that she should benefit from ( if benefit equals want). From my perspective crossdressing is a personal desire that I cannot explain (that is I cannot explain why I have this desire). I do accept that it is a full part of me. Why would I expect my wife to want something from my dressing? I dunno. I do appreciate that my wife makes effort to understand and accept my desire. (which she does as best she can).

After all the above blather I would guess that my wife would want me to remain a decent person who keeps her feelings in mind. I would guess that she would want me to communicate with her and ensure that how I feel about this dressing desire is evolving (or not). I would guess that she would want my dressing desires to remain within the boundaries that we have discussed and agreed to. I would guess that she wants me to be happy but not at the expense of her being happy. I would hope that she would not want me to do more housework (which I do share by the way).

Whew all this thinking has made me tired. Finding the right balance for married couples dealing with a crossdressing person is not easy, but worthwhile if they love each other.

So I summary I have no good answer just random thoughts.......but then I often state " I do not think I understand everything I know"

Best wishes to you.

[April Rose]

I think you have something of a gem in Monnica, in that your question is one that in my experience on this and other boards, hasn't been asked much. Certainly not enough. In my own life I can say that, now that we are both over 65, I can finally start to repay my wife for her acceptance and indulgence over the years. Everyone is different, and I don't mean in any way to imply our situation applies to yours. We have been married for 38 years, and she knew I was a CD before we married. For the most part , I don't know what she got out of the feminine part of my life, beyond the fact that it forced me to be liberal-minded, and that opened us up to bohemian/artistic friends, and consequently, interesting experiences. Still , there was a lot of compromising between the two of us.

Now that we are older, and she has started to have health problems, I find it is very natural for me to be her caretaker, in the manner of the feminine domestic partner in any relationship. I feel that the gift we have given each other, is just that we both feel that we both have each other's backs , and it's not out of obligation , but out of joy.

[Sami Brown]

I have not asked my wife this question, but from other conversations we have had, I think I know what is in it for her.

She has told me that the reason she is supportive is that when I am happy, it makes her happy. I feel the same way about her.

I don't know whether that helps you with your question. I am glad to hear that you are doing well though. Keep up the conversation with your SO. There is a lot for both of you to gain by having a greater understanding of each other.

Sami

[LeslieSD]

Let's see if I can find an analogy. I was not so much into cruise ships. I have always enjoyed driving and exploring. Being carried to different places and being pampered along the way was not really my thing. But my SO have always loved it, and wanted to do it. So we booked a trip. It's for her so I thought. But it turned out to be a very enjoyable trip for me as well. And I really like the isolation from the daily mundane life, and the nice food all day long does not hurt either.

So she may ask what do I want out of going to the cruise trip. It started as that she wanted it and I wanted to make her happy. I am sure she had a good time. But I enjoyed the trip none the less. Yes, I wanted to see her enjoy it, but I didn't suffer in the process either, and indeed far from it. Life to me is not a zero sum game. And giving is not meant to be for the return, isn't it? I can't demand everyone (including my SO) to think the same way as me. But I live my life that way and I am happier.

Now I hope my SO will go to a cruise trip with me dressed as Leslie (some day). :)

[Tracii G]

That is a very good question and I don't think I have ever heard it asked before.

[Pat]

Anyway, she has opened up to me about a lot of personal fantasies and desires, none yet seem too far fetched, or impossible. Not what I am used to, but I like to please and be pleased, as I say, I love her and will do what I can to help her fulfill as many as possible. But, something came up in conversation that I don't know how to answer; What do I want out of all this?

It sounds a little transactional -- "You get X, so I get Y" kind of thing which doesn't seem at all like you. I do things for my girlfriend because I want her to be happy; she does stuff for me because she wants me to be happy -- if we're both happy then the relationship can't help but be good, right? So I kind of assume you do stuff for Monnica because you want her to be happy and that happiness is what you get. She may feel a little guilty/unworthy and so is looking for a quid pro quo to exchange but I don't think you have to name a price. Just keep looking out for each other. ;)

[Alice B]

I can't even to begin answering that because I have a wife that accepts, but does not want to participate or even want to be around me when dressed. But the fact that she has asked you this question shows that her love for you is very strong and that she really wants you to be happy.

[T Gram]

My S/O has never asked me, what do I want or get out of "girl time" Sometimes I wonder if she really cares what I feel or think at all as long as "she" gets what she wants. I've really tried to be supportive but sometimes I feel like a second class citizen. Playing second fiddle to the most important "woman" in my S/O's life. There are secrets and things in not told, things get sprung on me and I'm expected to go along cheerfully. God forbid i ask questions any questions. I'd really just like some honesty! Sorry rant over :(

[docrobbysherry]

"What do I want out of this". Out of what, Littleleg?

Out of M's dressing or your relationship?

If it's the first, u don't need to get any more out of it than u do already. Do u? If so, u should know the answer better the we.

If it's the second, and u r satisfied, that's fine. Many women hear that old ticking clock. And, want the diamond ring! Could that be what M is hinting at?:battingeyelashes:

[Janie Jane]

My wife kinda' started me on CD'g 3 years ago when she took all my underwear to the laundry and left just one pair of her panties on the pillow as a joke. So I put them on, which she did not expect but was rather delighted about. (I do think the roots in my subconscious ran much further back).
An unusual start (I think) but she has been very supportive, but I'm one of those people who has to know "WHY?" The best she can tell me is that Janie has made me a much better, more balanced person than I'd been in the previous 5 years. I'd been no gem the previous 5 decades to this so it took a bit of time to see this in myself. I fall in love with her more every day because she sees something in me that no one before ever could, and I am truly Blessed to have her.
It sounds like this is perhaps what you see in Monnica.
Jane

[sometimes_miss]

My ex just wanted the house and our bank accounts.....without me attached to them!

[mbmeen12]

My current GG loves for me to dress for her. Encourages it and it (dressing) will manifest into, I Kara become a very pretty gurlfriend for her, then to more a bedroom thing. The future will bring more changes when I retire and I hope she will continue to be a part of me growing.

You are together today and have a warm relationship, which is all we can ask for in this wacky world.

[leannejacobs]

I think it's great that you were asked but feel you're probably not looking for anything, my wife doesn't look for anything in return for her acceptance, I believe she gets out of it what she puts in, since she has accepted this part of me I've been very much more attentive to her needs and show her a lot more love, respect and honesty, I really don't think she'd expect anything more than that.
That said, everyone is different and you may want to view this as a blank cheque, it's your chance to get M to tighten up on anything which may have slid over the years, I'll be monitoring to see what you come up with lol.

[Beverley Sims]

My wife and I enjoy doing things together and her reward is just that.

It's called a partnership.

[ClosetED]

Hello g - welcome back! Glad to hear all is well with Monnica. My wife knows but still doesn't accept it, so I did not ask. She has responded by buying herself more clothes and shoes. But I think that is not what a loving wife really wants. I think what you want to get out of being accepting of Monnica is the closer relationship and sharing of experiences that bind you closer. That your total acceptance should encourage your partner to be totally accepting of you and to care for your needs.
IMHO.
Hugs, Ellen

[Teresa]

Littleleg,
Yes it is a good question.

I guess we do get so involved in the whole CDing thing and maybe become a little self centered with it , OK we don't want to hurt our partners, in fact I feel many comments here are based on the fact that despite our CDing we care almost too much about how it affects our partners . So what do they get out of it, to me i wanted so deeply to share it with a woman , to me it offered all the things a woman could need , apart from the stumbling block is they tell you they aren't lesbians . If I could have been totally accepted would I have separated from my wife ? If not what sort of life would she have had ? How would friends and family dealt with it , would she have lost most of that for the sake of me ?

I said more than once if she could be happy I would be happy but she turned that on it's head and gave me both barrels of a very abusive reply .

I do believe that marriage for a wife especially becomes an acceptable compromise , if a husband/partner doesn't pose too many problems I can live with it , to many CDing is outside those parameters end of story , stop now or one of us will be leaving !!

OK Littleleg the bottom line is what do you think you want from it ? Does any escalation scare you , how much can you live with before you're out of your comfort zone ? I remember sometime ago Reine talking about the pendulum swinging and when it finally stops that is when a balance has been reached , has it come to that or are you still waiting ? You can make it work and I believe both parties can come to terms with it and enjoy it , it may not be what you thought married life would be like but that's life we never know what is round the corner .

[LeannS]

Littleg I always enjoy your posts

One thing that comes to my mind is to just love me!!

Thats is all
so long till the next time
Leann

[jennifer0918]

Ok, these words stick out at me far fetched, selfish, and narcissistic and I wonder if this is your generalized idea or concept of cd's? I ask because I want to help you find that answer to the your question "what do I want out of this?" With very little said about you I think only you can answer this question for yourself. Don't hold back on Monnica let her know how you feel and all the reading in world will not speak from your heart. So look deep with in yourself to find yout answer.

[Shelly Preston]

hi g

I don't think you need to want anything out of it.

Things you might find that you get are :

A shopping companion, fashion consultant, No complaints on how long it takes to get ready for a night out.

If you do find a need you can then share it.

[Jaylyn]

in any good relationship there has to be some giving and some taking. I think Monica was very polite in asking what you as the GG would like to see in her dressing. My wife and I had some serious visits about the rules that I would adhere to in my dressing. Maybe Monica wants to hear what and where you would like to see this go and maybe just how far you are willing to put up with the dressing. I know my limits and also love my wife and I will not break those barriers because I love her. I love my dressing but also know there is a limit to it also. Maybe Monica needs a place that you both can go to comfortably in the dressing. Just a thought but might not apply in your case.

[Littleg2]

Thank you all for your responses.

I didn't mean to imply that I need or want anything from Monnica other than what we have and offer each other. I don't think I'll be creating a laundry list of demands and wishes, not my style, and not how I took her question. The way I understood it, the way I perceived it, was that M feels like this is all about her;What she wants and desires, etc. It's been a private part for so long that she didn't have anyone to help her explore and do the things that were only in her head up until now, up until me. I think she just wants to make sure that it's not all about her, but about me, and together-us.

Monnica wants to know my desires and fantasies and what I want to experience with her. And while it's not that I don't have any, I am fairly in my head about it all, and a pretty private person, so even sharing that with M is hard, masc or femme. I have also been in some pretty crappy relationships where I was left to feel like I was being used, in all matters that one can be. It was never about me or what I wanted, so I didn't really dare to think about that, and now am not fully even sure. Now, throw in there the unique twist that cd'ing brings into it, and I have to retrain myself, so to speak. I don't feel like a "lesbian", as I have heard and read other GG's feeling like that is what is expected of them, I feel like me, in love with the whole of a person who is my perfect puzzle piece.

What makes me happy is making M happy, seeing her happy, turning her on, knowing that she enjoys the little things I do that let her know it's finally okay to be the person she was feeling on the inside, to whatever extent she wants, as long as we remain open and communicate with one another where things are going, how they are, and what we would both like. It's in the time we spend together. Everything we do.

I used the words/terms "selfish, "narcissistic and "far fetched", because those are the terms M has used in conversations with me. She feels, to some degree, what she does is selfish, especially when it was hidden and made such a mess of her life. Narcissistic, or narcissism, because many people are this way, cd'ers or not, people are. To define: "having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.", would you not say that a fair few of you are this way? It just depends on to what degree. How you let that affect your life and the lives of others in your life. Besides being a term that M has used, it is also a term that a few GG SO's use. I am not trying to say this disrespectfully, so I hope it isn't coming out that way, I am just trying to clarify.

As far as ideas being far fetched, (and I will do my best to keep this clean moderators) 8 months ago when M showed me a video of a sissy maid being pegged, I was shocked and horrified, to be honest, but now, I'm not at all. I just needed time to wrap my head around it all, and realize it is something the person I love has an interest in, and therefore, in trying to be supportive and open-minded and loving, I have looked into these things, and others, further, to make myself more comfortable with the fetish side of this that Monnica has, which I know not all of you do, and of course that is okay, but it should also be okay that she does.

I hope I managed to clarify any points made out there, and again, I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read and respond to me. I am trying, too. It's all any of us can do.

I had never been asked before what I wanted out of any relationship, so it does indicate a great deal of respect and love that she would even bother to ask me and care to know the answer.

-g

[Bianca Fay]

Littleg2, you seem like a wonderful person.
You don't need advice. You need a sincere, long slow clap (with a standing ovation).

[suzanne]

You are a gem among gems. Monnica is beyond lucky to have you in her life with all the things you do for her. It may now be that she is feeling like the relationship is becoming a one way street, with all benefits going her way. Its time to even it up by allowing her to express her gratitude, which is in all probability much greater than you might imagine. Just as she asked and received her heart's desires from you, you should look deep in your heart for what you truly want. Even if you wanted your husband back and requested some non-Monnica time, I think she would be happy to comply.

I just finished reading your last post. The generosity of spirit you both have shown toward each other is awe inspiring. I hope you have a long and glorious life together, and that you find time to share a story or two with this forum. And maybe a picture.

[Littleg2]

Thank you Cecily, that's very kind of you to say. :)

- - - Updated - - -

You may be right, Suzanne, and I appreciate your insight. When we talk about masc time, I requested that we actually plan that and do more time en femme either by surprise or spontaneously. it might seem funny, but we are going to commit to having a "date night", at least twice a month, with M in masc, and the rest of the time it can go either way.

My reasoning for this is because I know how repressed this has all been kept, so occasionally, I will be home first and surprisingly lay out either lingerie or clothing (femme) for M to put on once home and bathed. I like to surprise her and plan little "girls nights in" where we just hang out, paint each others toenails, read "girly" magazines (Cosmo, US, People), play games, talk, etc. She will do similar type things, like putting on panties or stockings and then takes pleasure when I *discover* them when we are at home or out and (this is so lame - lol), but I get excited and giggle with delight (told you-lol). I buy gifts for both Monnica and M, and just let her be her and she in turn, just lets me do what I do. I write her poems and entertain certain things that I know she likes, and I feel that it is reciprocated, I suppose, but I don't feel I ask (literally) for too much. She has been very clear that she wants me to be open and to feel free to say at any time that I need a break from it or if it's too much. I don't feel pressured and it seems to be working as it is.

We have begun to discuss toying with the idea of a FLR, but with everything else, she plants the seeds of ideas and just lets me run with it. So, for example, for Easter this year, I am going to buy her a little french maid apron and in hollow Easter eggs (which she will have to hunt for) will be little chores that I want her to do or tasks that I want her to perform. It's a new thought, in it's infant stages, but something I think she would like very much. We'll see...

Take care,
g

[jennifer0918]

Excessive and erotic intrest ?????A fair few???? Absolutely not we are all individuals we may have certain similarities but we are different. Correct me if I'm wrong you have your perfect piece of the puzzle your in love ,why come here on forum ? What's your question? Love concurs all ,love knows no boundaries. And your in love and that's it !!! I'm sorry it's still not clear to me. But hey I hope you find what your looking for good luck

[Littleg2]

Excessive and erotic intrest ?????A fair few???? Absolutely not we are all individuals we may have certain similarities but we are different. Correct me if I'm wrong you have your perfect piece of the puzzle your in love ,why come here on forum ? What's your question? Love concurs all ,love knows no boundaries. And your in love and that's it !!! I'm sorry it's still not clear to me. But hey I hope you find what your looking for good luck

I know we're not supposed to quote the person directly above, but wasn't sure how you would see this otherwise. I was actually shocked and a little hurt by your comments and insinuation that I shouldn't be on a support forum for "Crossdressers, The #1 Community for Crossdressers, their family and friends." Where else, exactly, do you think I should go? (Rhetorical)

I am here to gain insight, knowledge, get support and try to be a supportive GG SO to a member of your community (even if they don't come to this site much anymore, if at all). M told me she doesn't come here because there are a lot of cd'ers who think that it should only be about the clothes and/or feeling feminine, and your post kind of solidified what she was made to feel. She also told me she wanted me to have a place where I could go to talk to people about this, to get a different point of view from her own, and she wouldn't be looking over my shoulder at everything I post, because she trusts me and wants me to feel comfortable here. We are not heathens or perverts, but we do have a bedroom life, desires, fantasies and for her this plays into it, just as much as sitting around in girl clothing getting a pedicure and doing girly things does. It all makes her who she is, and I am here to try and get support for that too, from those that are experiencing a similar situation with their SO, cd'er or another GG or SO.

Again, I was in no way, shape or form, trying to be insulting using the terms I used, and supplying the dictionary definition I did, I am just using facts. If you don't get it, or understand why I am here, please feel free not to read my posts. The GG section here is dead;There have not been any posts in there for months, so I come here to get insight from everyone who can see and respond, if they want to. I have very few people in my life I can talk to about all this, and frankly, the anonymity, to some degree, is nice for someone like me who is quite shy in talking about these things at all.

I am not, characteristically, a shy person, but I do say I am private, and even if I could talk to my one friend who knows about all of this, I don't very much, due to the way I am. I am also no shrinking flower, overly sensitive or offended easily, but you have managed to hurt me with your words, making it seem as though I don't belong here at all. It's surprising, really. So, with that, I will thank you for your well wishes of good luck, and hope you are happy as you are and do find what you are looking for here and in life, but I don't think you need to respond to my threads if you don't understand them. Thank you.

[Cherylgyno]

Little G. Yikes that is a tough question. First thought that came to mind is. I want both of us to be happy together. If both of us are happy I have got everything that I want to get.
Best of luck. Hopefully M will ask questions that are much easier to answer from now on.

[Lacey CD]

A very well thought out and respectful response Little G. I too was a bit taken aback by some of the replies to your thread. I found your post insightful and thought provoking. What DOES my wife want out of all this support and acceptance she lovingly gives me? Like several other responses, I have gained so much love and respect for this woman I would walk through fire for her and she knows it. I adore her. I don't think she actually wants anything other than to experience and love all of me and to do that, she must accept and embrace the feminine in me as well as the masculine. Her acceptance has brought us much closer together to a point where we get a bit depressed when we're apart for more than a couple of days and we both love that! We're still in love after 20 years and I hope and pray the two of you can sustain this wonderful experience you're having now into a lifetime of happiness like you've never known!

[char GG]

I was actually so moved when M asked me, because it shows me that M is not a selfish, narcissistic person (not completely - lol), and she genuinely cares about what me and what I want and how I feel about it all.


I am so very impressed that Monnica thought to ask you this question! To me, it shows M has enough compassion about your feelings, experiences and wants you to be happy/fulfilled in your relationship. Obviously only you are able to respond to the question but it is definitely food for thought.

My husband is very considerate but I am sure he has never even thought of what I wanted out of "all this". I would be stunned if he asked me. I would probably have a hard time coming up with an answer!

Since the MtF forum typically focuses on how the CDer feels, the reader tends to get a one sided story. Thanks, Littleg2, for sharing your side.

[Littleg2]

I would like to acknowledge and thank you all for the positive responses. I guess, for me, I was thrown. It hasn't been something I had thought about, because I am never left to feel something is lacking or that I don't get what I *need* from M. M is thoughtful, caring, sweet, considerate and more. She is everything I would hope to find in a partner. What more could I possibly need! I think that, is my answer.

I hope for those of you that are in a relationship where your SO knows and is either supportive or even just DADT, you to can put this question to them, in your own way, knowing your SO best. It really does let the other person know that you are thinking about them and their wants as well.

My utmost appreciation to all of you who took the time to read and respond so far. Thank you.

-g

[cdsamswife]

Hello :)

My cd-ing husband Sam hasnt asked me the exact same question before, however he has always asked what do I want to do..? what do I want him to dress like or do I want him to dress.... I think even just hearing questions like that has made me more comfortable in telling my husband what I like and dont like about him dressing and what I do and dont want to know about the times when he does dress. I dont really know how I would answer the specific question your spouse asked either.. Im just happy to see that my husband is happy when he dresses up.... I guess what I would want is just that we both stay happy, honest and open.

You sound like a very supportive wife as well :) All the best!

[docrobbysherry]

Littleleg, I'm sorry u were offended by Jennifer's response. I didn't find it offensive. She's simply the voice of experience explaining where u r. Because as u admit, u don't seem to have a clue. U only know you're having a lot of fun. And, that your sex life is fantastic!:heehee:

In fact, that seems to be the substance of all your posts. But, pointing that out isn't negative, LL. For those of us that have been in love, it was the most wonderful time of our lives! As it seems to be for u!:thumbsup:

What I think Jenn meant and what I mean is, it rarely ever lasts! So, keep doing what you're doing. When the "real issues" start popping up?:doh:
Come back and chat with us. Maybe we can help?

But until then, all we can be is supportive and JEALOUS!:brolleyes:

[jennifer0918]

Opinions vary, so good luck ,hope you find all the answers your looking for. I said my piece, good day!!

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks Doc your wonderful

[Littleg2]

In fact, that seems to be the substance of all your posts.

I'm not going to take this as a negative takeaway, but I will say this...

I have always been respectful of this forum, it's members, and its rules and guidelines. Perhaps the reason why you are picking up on the fact that most of my questions and threads, in your opinion, are about bedroom activities, is because for my lovely Cd'ing SO, it is a lot about that. I don't bring up or ask nearly the amount of things that are running through my head because I picked up quite early on here that these subjects seem to be taboo now. They did seem to be more discussed going back a few years, as I have found in my searches, but not anymore. Now they are few and far between, and seem to get shut down fast.

Monnica's crossdressing came about because of sexual abuse that she encountered as a child where M was forced to wear women's attire. So there you go. She has struggled with this for over 25 years, feeling ashamed, alone and like a pervy deviant, and then there are those select few Cd'ers who also made her feel that way, which is incredibly sad. She was directed and ended up on fetish sites, wading through the mess, trying to find and associate with like-minded people who just simply understood what she had been through and what she continues to go through. She has been through therapy for the inception of her dressing and has come to terms with it. She feels comfortable now that it is not some sick, dark, secret perversion, and I am most certainly going to do all I can to protect her and keep it that way. I am not either. I am fun, open and adventurous, supportive, caring and want M to feel loved and cared for, in all matters. I hope that is always the takeaway from my threads, comments and questions.

I know it's still relatively new, and we have already had a few hiccups. But, we are open and can communicate about these things. I like to be able to talk to people who are experiencing something similar, aside from just her, as I have already explained. This forum is open for all, and I will continue to be the way I was and am in my opening line. I will not be made to feel as though I don't belong, I don't think that's right at all. And I am not going to just wait until there are negative issues to discuss or things I really don't understand. I will continue to share the positive, happy, encouraging things M and I share and hope that it gives others hope that there is someone out there for them who wants them the way they are, warts, forms, wigs and all!

Thank you for your response.

-g

[jennifer0918]

WOW a lonely pervy deviant? ??? So illy misinformed. .
P.s. welcome no one has never said the opposite. Unbelievable

[Littleg2]

That is how she, Monnica, felt. I can't make this any more clear that these were her words. How is this misinformed?

[Pat]

This forum is open for all, and I will continue to be the way I was and am in my opening line. I will not be made to feel as though I don't belong, I don't think that's right at all. And I am not going to just wait until there are negative issues to discuss or things I really don't understand. I will continue to share the positive, happy, encouraging things M and I share and hope that it gives others hope that there is someone out there for them who wants them the way they are, warts, forms, wigs and all!

And the moderator backs her up on this.

Note that the rules specifically say "All members of this forum have the right to post and reply to posts and generally take advantage of the features of the forum without abuse from other members."

This, of course, is a two-edged sword -- members have a right to disagree, but it must be done respectfully and it seems like we're straying outside those lines. If this thread goes any further in the finger-pointing and disrespectful responses, it will be closed.

Thanks.

[Jenny22]

I truly wish that more GG spouses would share their thoughts in this M2F forum. Thanks to all of you that do!

[CONSUELO]

Little G,

You asked a slightly complicated question and I am sorry that some of the replies have seemed, shall we say "unsupportive".

Monnica is opening up to you about some of her deeply personal thoughts. You seem ready to listen and I think you should just continue the conversation and explore her ideas and desires. At the same time you should be telling her about your desires. What sort of relationship do you want with Monnica? What are your desires for a relationship including intimacy? It is a two way relationship after all.


You seem to be talking openly and that has to be a huge positive. Keep talking and being open minded.

You are a vey brave and kind person.

[Tracii G]

Yep a two way street each partner has to give and each has to receive.
Its about the both of you and up to you two to navigate thru the obstacles and make it work.

[Alice B]

I think your coming to this site is great. You provide great insight to what an accepting SO thinks and is about. I have enjoyed seeing your thought process and wish I had such an open and insightful partner. Thank you

[Lana Mae]

Little Leg, Keep those communications open and I have only two words for you! "Bless you!" Hugs Lana Mae

[krissy]

I have never been with a woman who could even talk about this part of me .Its so nice to see that they do exist.your story moved me deeply thanks for writing:hugs::hugs:

[Aunt Kelly]

Sweetie, you don't have to get anything out "this", other than an even more devoted SO. If there is something you want out your partner's TG nature, you should feel free to discuss it with her. As others have stated, you are a gem for your understanding and support and if your partner has a lick of sense, she will find ways to return that love and support. Really... talk. That's what makes strong relationships work, regardless of gender issues.

Hugs,


Kelly

[giuseppina]

Hello LittleG

That Monnica asked the question she did does not fit her being a narcissist. Very insightful, if you want my opinion.

It seems to me you have a healthy and constructive relationship going. Monnica's life story bears some similarity to mine. I'd like to find someone like you for a soulmate; I agree with your reactions to the disrespectful posters.

[Becky Blue]

I am going to add my support to Littleg here. I think her OP was very interesting and thought provoking. It was not her asking whats in it for her, it was her partner asking her that question. Littleg like most GGs on here are rare and their input often very valuable.

M's question of you sent a very big positive message to you showing that it is not all about her and her dressing and her needs. We only have to look at some of the threads on this site to see how some girls can get very self involved.

Is not the biggest WIIFM to have a partner that can be both a husband and a best girlfriend in one?

[Littleg2]

Oh my goodness, I don't even know what to say, honestly.

After last nights stressful shenanigans, at least for me, I can't believe the support and insight you all have offered. Thank you. Thank you! THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart, I mean that. I was so thrown and upset last night, I stayed up until 3 am here reading and rereading, wondering what I had said that may have come across as offensive, nieve, insulting, "stereotypical" and/or "misinformed".

I had really enjoyed being a part of this community of lovely human beings who are just trying to be themselves and live their lives before yesterday. People coming here looking for others like-minded to communicate with about things you can't go around talking to just anyone about, yet, anyways; Finding support and understanding, others to share with and commiserate with, good and bad... I temporarily thought I'd lost that, but I don't feel that way anymore.

Yesterday I shared with Monnica what had happened, initially, and she felt bad that I had been subjected to such treatment here, but not overly surprised. While this was all going on, she sent me a really lovely email, one which I wish I had seen earlier in the evening, but... it just didn't happen that way. When I read her words to me, about her, about me, about us, I felt relieved and comforted that at least she thought I was doing right, and right by her. I stayed up to respond to her, sharing more of what had transpired here, and we got the opportunity to discuss it today.

To share, and for those that are interested, this is what I told her (sorry for the length):

"I want you to be happy. I want you to feel safe, secure in what we have and share, and free to be yourself with me, whomever that is on any given day. I want to go with you on this journey of ours together, following you sometimes, and sometimes leading you, us.

I like looking up ideas and making them our own, surprising you and enjoying you as much as I can. I honestly feel like this is about us now, not just you. You are not alone, you don't have to hide or be ashamed. I will promise to love you, be creative, passionate, funny, dominating, carefree and open about it all.

I'm glad, in a way, that I'm the first to be as I am with you, as Monnica, enjoying being yourself and sharing secrets, fascinates and desires. That probably sounds selfish, of course I wish your life hadn't been as hard as it has been, but even that only serves to make you into the person you are today, the wonderful person I love and treasure, with all my heart.

You have asked me something no one has ever asked me before, no one has ever cared enough to want to know... what do I want? So, really, it's hard for me to answer, becsaue I've never really allowed myself to think about the answer. Thank you for that. Thank you so much.

I think you are amazing. I think together, we are incredible, unstoppable.

I look forward to every new day with you, every new experience with you, every firework-worthy night... I look forward to our future together. Simply amazing. You + Me."

These are my words, from my heart to Monnicas. And now you know how I feel about it all.

I want to thank all of you who took the time to read, this and my other posts/threads as well. I am not going anywhere, and I will continue to share, if that's alright, mine and M's story with all of you that care to know it and read about it.

Kind regards to you all,
-g

Ps, and I do find this humorous, my name here is Littleg2. Little g 2. Little (because I am smaller than M) g (for my name, Gina) and 2 (my favorite number and the day of my birth). Not little Leg. :D It does make me smile, and chuckle a bit, in a lighthearted way, when referred to as a "Leg".

See you around the Forum. I am not going anywhere! :D

[Tracii G]

Very thoughtful words to M and I hope you have a wonderful life together.
Its a rare thing you both have and you both are so fortunate.
So don't lose sight of what each other wants and needs and be excellent to each other.

[deebra]

Littleg2 maybe I can help. You said you enjoy shopping and helping her with her CD; and she has opened up to you on intimate/personal things. Wouldn't this and having a male/CD mate provide you with more things in common than the average male/female relationship? You are very special, not many other women would provide to her what you do. Sounds like a lot of closeness and love between the two of you. You may not find this "extra" in a straight male. The two of you could be meant for each other.
If you are the same size and trade you have just cut your clothes spending in half.

[mykell]

hi gina....i treasure your candor and thoughts here, as stated i would love to see more GGs talk with us.

i will offer you this....in the non binary and loved one sections their seems to be a tolerance for deeper and more meaningful discussions and topics.

as for the sex, the more sex the better, its just sex, we are all adults here, i generally dont like how some look down on those that get a kink from being dressed while enjoying this part of themselves and i guess their can be some jealousy (myself included) of a participating SO...... i despise the term fetish dresser but like i said its just sex.....as long as its consensual and not breaking any laws then keep your nose out of my bizznezz.
i think your sharing fotos of yourself and monica speaks volumes and certainly shows how you both GLOW when together. its beautiful to read about your relationship
and how well you two are getting along with this.


i can be narcissistic and selfish sometimes and i think most folks are from time to time.
just go out to eat these days and what are folks doing, taking selfies of themselves and pictures of theyre meal and posting it to social.....who gives a rats arse about what you had to eat tonight, who you were with, and where you ate it. its just eating and we all like different types of food.

so im faltered that you want to share and relate with us. il assume that you dont have many outlets for discussion to broach these topics and find it therapeutic to do so here. curious about the thread tag.

[kimdl93]

I'd like to apologize for jennifer0918....I don't think you have to justify your presence here nor your questions. You're entitled to both.

now with that aside, let me thank you for your response below. It seems you do know what you want from M and it seems that you're both fulfilling each other. What could be better?

May it always be so!

[docrobbysherry]

Ah, Spring and young love!:battingeyelashes:
It reminds this old fart of those, heart jumping out of my chest, romantic days, and sex filled nites back before all of u were born.:heehee:

And, of Sherry's romantic days and nites yet to come! I feel a mushy, sexy, picto story coming on------:devil:

Thanks for the inspiration, LG!:love:

[Aunt Kelly]

You might want to hang onto this one, g. She just might be a keeper. :)

Happy to hear that you've not let the inevitable forum boor bring you down. I've been a participant in online communities (of all kinds) since before American On Line thought they invented ...on line. One thing that holds true is that boors are emboldened by the relative anonymity of the medium. Engage them if you feel like it, but don't let them get under your skin. Most of the time, that's all they're after. So don't give it to them.

Again, best of luck to you two. Sweetie. You deserve each other, and I really do mean that in the nicest way.

Hugs.


Kelly