Am I out of mind?

[Emily27]

Hi everyone I’m Emily and I’m new to this community. I started ‘trying out’ my mom’s underwear and stockings when I was 14. When I was in college, I bought myself first pair of lingerie and night club heels. I was so turned on and my heart was pounding faster than ever when I put them on. Now things have gotten maybe too far.. I’ve started taking late night walks with fishnet stockings, heels and super tight/mini dress. The places I pick for my walks are safe but dark. I guess walking in dark places increases the excitement or fun.. The thing that makes me scary is, I do want people to see my ****ty dressing and enjoy imagining that they would think I’m a prostitute and what they would do to me. And I ONLY get turned on when I dress like that.. so I’m thinking maybe I’m sort of an exhibitionist or something.. I am pretty sure I’m a straight guy.. what’s going on with me?

[Dana44]

Welcome to the forum Emily. Naw you are just a CD and young. Yet be careful out there.

[RADER]

Welcome to the forum, you will find many with the same feelings you have.
Surf around, you will find a ton of information here.
Rader

[Tracii G]

You need to be more careful walking in dark places at night.
If the wrong person thinks you are a hooker you can get hurt really quickly.
If a police man sees you roaming a dark area you could get picked up for prostitution.
That will be on your record for the rest of your life and could quite possibly give you problems when it comes to buying a house or getting insurance later on in your life.
It might seem like a turn on right now but use the brain in your head not the brain in that smaller head if you get what I mean.
It may seem like all kinky fun but the truth is you are playing with fire.

[Patricia_Campi]

There is nothing wrong with your desire to dress! You are discovering just like almost everyone in this forum did.

Now, about that walking, please, be very careful!! It is dangerous and this is independent of the way you are dressed!!

Keep it safe!

Patricia

[Tracii G]

We all understand the need or desire that you have to dress and all the sexual trappings you feel because we have all been there.
But just don't become a statistic of a hate crime on trans people is all I ask.
If you keep up with that activity your chances are high that something bad will happen eventually.
I couldn't imagine getting arrested for prostitution and getting tossed in the can dressed that way with a bunch of guys.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Emily :hugs:, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.

What ever questions that you have there is a 99.875% chance one or more of us will have an answer for you.

Like other have said , Please Be Careful.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[DIANEF]

Nothing wrong with dressing tarty if that is your thing but as has been said, taking it out on to the streets late at night is just asking for trouble. If you must do it please be safe. Welcome to the forum by the way.

[CarlaWestin]

It's just imaginative, creative and exhilarating. So have fun with it and enjoy yourself. But do be careful.

[docrobbysherry]

Em, many of us get turned on by dressing ----ty. But, few of us want to go out and attract strange men dressed like that. However, if u really want to? Do it safely. Try out a nearby gay/trans friendly bar and see who u attract.:battingeyelashes:

But, DON'T get drunk and leave with a strange man. No matter how nice/hot he seems!:Angry3:

[Janie Jane]

Tracii G is right in both her posts on the danger of what you are doing. And I think it is more dangerous than that. There is a term for being careful and that is situational awareness, and in your situation as you described is danger. It could be likened to chumming for sharks. Am I paranoid? Perhaps, but better safe than sorry.

[Tracii G]

There are so many trans girls murdered for doing exactly what she is doing so I do fear she is putting herself in grave danger.
Being 25 you think you will live forever so she is on her own and can make her own decisions.

[Rachelakld]

welcome and sounds like your having fun
I was the same for a short while.
I even went to a gay sauna where lots of men were having fun, but it wasn't my thing so left with that "gay" question answered.
Life has many possibilities, so it's good to try different stuff
We "lose" a night walker about twice a year, so it's relatively safe here, but I still don't do the night suff

[Beverley Sims]

Emily,
Welcome to the forum.

Late night and dark lonely places are not a safe place to walk, and combined with your fantasies I suggest you stay inside until you can mix with the crowd under lights at the mall.

[Teresa]

Emily,
One answer , " Chemistry !"
At your age you are hitting a huge high, it does take you to places you didn't expect , I would guess you are straight but choosing to dress sexily does invoke those kind of thoughts.
To me later in the teenage early twenties it was a high to be dressed but being with women , two of my GFs before I married were into it so I know what that high feels like , even at my age that need has never totally gone away , I'm not giving up on the possibility of it happening again , age shouldn't create barriers .

I will add like others will do, don't take too many chances , you may think it's exciting but you are very vunerable dressed like that , you might think you can take care of yourself and also people may not be too sympathetic if you something does happen to you , I'm afraid they will say , " What did he expect !!"

It might be safer to find a group and go out with a crowd , you will enjoy that as much and be much safer .

[alwayshave]

Emily, most of us have gone through the steps you are going through. Just be careful on your walks.

[emma-louise]

I went through a phase of dressing in very short skirts, and going out in them, i just felt it was something i had to do

[kimdl93]

I'd suggest that you stop and think seriously about the risks of your late night walks. Don't do it. Find another outlet.

[Lisa Roberts]

Stop it. PERIOD. I too love dressing and strutting. But not in the dark all alone. You’re going to find more trouble than it’s worth.
Lace and Smiles
Lisa

[CONSUELO]

Dressing up in feminine clothing and feeling excited by it is not a problem. Many members of this site have done similar things over the years. However, dressing and going out alone after dark may be risky even though it gives you an extra "high" because of the risk.
Try to find a local CD group or a coffee shop or a bar that looks as if it will be a safe and comfortable place to go. You will still be thrilled at being dressed but in a safer environment.
Are you a straight guy? That is something that will become clearer over time.
By the way the opposite of straight is bent so it is preferable to use the term heterosexual.
There are many members here who would not describe themselves as heterosexual but "BENT" they most certainly are not.

[drEdge]

I think they're overreacting a bit... Emily said she picked safe places to walk. It is thrilling, I've done it before. Just be prepared for anything and have fun!

[Teresa]

Consuelo,
I'm afraid that's down to old age and arthritis Oh and wearing unsuitable shoes .

Emily ,
Maybe sticking my neck out a little but I would say the majority of CDing members here are straight with wives/partners. I find the same in reality with the social groups I attend, I can't relate to a male to male relationship but don't have a problem with someone who is gay . I did have a pass , made at me which I politely brushed off , I was more flattered than anything as I've never had one made before certainly not in drab mode. There was no ill feelings or harm done .

[Alice Torn]

I sure understand the "high" of dressing up super sexy, and wanting to be seen. My very first full day out, was in daylight, in four different towns. I got a lot of looks, car horn toots, some guys yelling out of their truck, and stares. part of it is exhibitionism, and super strong "pink fog". But, i was out in dayliime a minidress, dark hose, and black patent high heels. At night, I can imagine it would be highly more dangerous, alone like you were! The BIG HIGH, CAN BECOME A NEW LOW!! Even six feet under low! Our emotional high, and feelings of ecstasy, can get us hurt, because we throw away caution, and common sense for a while. I was 51 yo when i first went out like that! i cannot imagine being 25, with full hormones going, too. Please heed advice on here. The high you get, can become a deep low, all too easy. A dangerous world!

[Tracii G]

The idea that going out at night is safer than going out in the day time is a common mistake CDers make when they first start going out so she may be thinking its relatively safe.
Bad people come out at night and in places that are relatively safe in the day time so she may be basing the safety factor that way.
She is at that age where danger isn't considered and a more idealogical mindset is present.
What I mean is she may think "I am not really a hooker so its OK to dress like one" and I can just explain that if I get caught by police.
As we all know that the law sometimes is based on intent or suspicious behavior and you can get arrested for being at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The result could be devastating legally and emotionally for the rest of her life but maybe she doesn't seem to understand the ramifications of her actions.

[sara.rafaela]

Why not make the next step and go to a nice bar or club. Picking the right one is a lot of work, But, if they get to know you there, the bartenders and staff will watch out for you. Its a public space, so you have less to worry about police; or really bad people.

[Helen_Highwater]

Emily,

Welcome to the forum. You'll get loads of advice here, some you'll welcome, some less so. That said all of it will have your best interests at heart. I think it's fair to say that anything you've considered, someone here has been there before you so the best piece of advice I can give is heed any warnings offered.

I do want people to see my ****ty dressing and enjoy imagining that they would think I’m a prostitute and what they would do to me What they may do is kick the living daylights out of you or worse. Somewhere quiet and dark that you can walk in is also somewhere a group might go to do drugs etc. Most here will admit that they're first ventures out were usually at night and I'm guilty as charged. What I've learned along my CD'ing journey is I'm far far safer walking around a mall in broad daylight than anywhere else in the dark.

Darkness is viewed as a cloak that we can hide under. Crooks and nerdowells see it in exactly the same way.

As others have said finding a group to attend is by far your best option. I've attended a group that meets in the Gay village in Manchester (UK). There are CD'ers in all the pubs who are in heels and short, tight dresses. All glam'd up, jez some of them have such great legs, but no-one cares. They're free to chat, strut their stuff, all in perfect safety there being at least 2 big bruisers on each door to keep undesirables out.

I can appreciate just what a huge step going from alone in the dark to mixing in a busy bar is. However, once you take that step you'll never look back.

Do your homework. Check out where you want to go. What's the parking like, stuff like that. For your first few times, stay stone cold sober. Until you're familiar with what goes on and know a few faces, staying sober ensures you make the right choices. Being chatted up can be flattering, responding so that the guy thinks you're "looking for love" but then chickening out at the time of intimacy is also something to be avoided. So if you want to explore that side of your character, be clear to the other person you're position and that you're uncertain of your sexuality.

The most important thing here is staying safe. You have years ahead of you to find your way. Don't rush into it and make mistakes you'll regret for the rest of your life.

[Emily27]

Thanks everybody for your advice! I’m here because I’m still questioning myself whether it’s safe or worth doing that. The place I picked is in a relatively safe neighborhood. It’s a parking lot without lights, and its normally empty even in daytime. What I did was, I parked my car in a corner and walked towards the street. I usually come back before really walking in the streets, so the whole walk takes less than 2-3 mind. Walking makes me thrilled and the cars passing by give a lot of excitement. I can be seen by cars for only 1 sec at most because of the darkness and their speed (if they can see me). However, I think you are right. Maybe it’s not worth doing that and I should find another outlet.

Thanks again everybody!!

[Tracii G]

In time you will get over the dressing ****ty and leave it behind you.
The sexual aspect may disappear as well to some degree as you mature.
The thing is you know your intentions and others do not and they may want a piece of you whether you want it or not.
Always be aware of what is going on around you to stay safe.

[Jaylyn]

I bet there are many here who started CD in similar manner to yours in here. I still like to revert back to that feeling but not as much since my old age has reached a maturity in CD. I used to play in moms heels though at a very young age, when I reached that sexual age of being quickly turned on with fantasies I payed more in S--ty things. After getting married lots of those feelings disappeared.
One thing though remember to play safe and not get hurt physically in what you are doing.