That sign of total acceptance from your partner

[DaisyLawrence]

I always new that my wife accepts and embraces me for who I am, including all my gender issues. It was slow at first while she adjusted but as time went on she came to realise that she really enjoyed my company when I was free to be myself and not suffering the stress associated with being denied that freedom. Over time some things have happened that made me realise just how accepting she was becoming, landmarks you may say. The first was when she came home with dress for me in my size that she found at the charity shop. It was a landmark not because she bought the dress but because she thought to look for it. There have been many since and these actions mean so much more than simple verbal confirmation.

So that brings me to the title of the thread, a sign of total acceptance. This happened to me recently when she bought me a new wig. Big deal do I hear you say? Well yes I think it was. There are lots of posts on this site about how the wig is the biggest transformation item, the one thing that finally removes the husband they know and brings forth a different person (and a 'real' woman if you're lucky enough to pass). Many of those posts describe how a wife has a problem with the wig, presumably for the reasons just stated. So she bought me a wig and I love it but that was not the sign of total acceptance. What was is the fact that she decided to look for one, found one in my size in a colour and style she thought she would like to see me in and bought it without asking me. I didn't need one, wasn't looking for one and we are both totally happy with the ones I have and yet she still did it, despite the resistance shown by some wives to the whole wig thing. She could see the effect this little thing had on me in my face when she told me about it, I had to explain that it is not the wig itself but the thought behind it that had made my year.

So that was my final sign not of acceptance but of total acceptance, did you get one and, if so, what was yours?

[Krisi]

That's a great story and sign of acceptance.

I think "total" acceptance is when the wife is willing to go out in public with you to normal places like malls, restaurants, etc., calls you by your female name and has intimate relations with you as a female (as much as is possible).

So my wife will buy me clothes and go shopping with me for clothes but has never bought me a wig. She hasn't gone out with me, doesn't call me Krisi and only once has done the "intimate" thing with me. I would say I'm a step or two behind you.

[Teresa]

Daisy,
That is where I received mixed messages, my wife wanted no part and didn't want to see me and yet she started to ask if I wanted anything from her wardrobe before she took them to the charity shop, OK they were throw outs but I was still touched by the gesture and her acceptance of my dressing .

Somehow I felt the changes took place when she found I was being brave enough to shop for myself and I was working out a style of my own away from her influence . OK it was inevitable we are both about a 10/12 dress size but the height and shapes are different so I had to find my own look and style . I did ask for help before my first full out the door experience but that door was soon slammed shut , I was on my own , I wanted to appear as a woman , I had to find out the hard way , I have to say it's the best thing she did for me I have enjoyed it so much since on my own .

[DaisyLawrence]

Krisi

It's interesting, we do go out regularly together and she uses the appropriate name (accept once when she forgot, that raised a few eyebrows) and yet this surprise wig thing still seemed more significant somehow. :)

[cdtraveler]

Am still struggling with my own total acceptance LOL so not sure I expect to see it from my SO however that was a very loving gesture on the part of your spouse and if that were.to ocur in my relationship I'd certainly feel.similarly. you r a lucky girl.

[Jaylyn]

Mine accepts that I sometimes dress and we have pedicures together and have our toe nails painted the same but that's as far as it goes. She made me promise to not go out in public dressed. She knew a CD here in our small town and how the women and men all talked about him driving thru town and she is scared of that happening with me. She does accept me as Jaylyn but on a limited inside dressing scale.

[CONSUELO]

I'm pleased for you Daisy.

[Sandra]

I think my sign of total acceptance for Nigella was me being there when she woke up from her surgery....Yeah that's total acceptance :) and continues to be.

[LeannS]

Daisy you are very fortunate that your wife is very accepting.
I could only wish mine was but that is not the case.
congratulations to you

[Chelsea B]

I am so happy for you, and can relate, as I have just had the same experience. She ordered a couple online and I expect them to arrive this Thursday! She also did my eye makeup for the first time, and we went clothes shopping together, all of them firsts, after a couple years of DADT.
It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?

[Leslie Langford]

On one level, I am happy for you, Daisy (not to mention a tad jealous :devil: ), but at the risk of my appearing to rain on your parade, please bear in mind that nothing is forever. This forum is chock full of posts from other members who also thought that they were making progress with their wives or SO's in gaining their acceptance, only to find that door suddenly slammed in their faces. Women can be very unpredictable and fickle that way, and their hormone fluctuations often have a lot to do with that, even if they are loathe to admit it.

I remember one poster in particular (who shall be nameless) who reamed me out mercilessly in public here some years back when I cast some doubts on her glowing reports about how accepting her wife was. Turns out later that it was not all unicorns and rainbows after all. Not only did her wife eventually do a complete about-face over her crossdressing, she also divorced her, sending said poster into a deep depression.

I'm not necessarily saying that the same fate awaits you, and as the saying goes, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary) What I am saying, though, is that people change and situations change, and the wise person never takes anything for granted. There is also the truism that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

It would be interesting to see if in a year from now, you will be reporting back to us that things are still going as swimmingly with your wife regarding your crossdressing as they seem to be at present...

[carolyn todd]

Well done Daisy and well done to your wife.

Carolyn

[DaisyLawrence]

Leslie:

You need not worry. I have been together with my wife for 40 years since the age of 14 and I know her better than myself. Things can be forever and will be for me, I guarantee it. Things have been going swimmingly for many years, it was just this one thing that seemed to have an impact by reinforcing what I have known for ages. I hope you are more 'glass is half full' generally in life, seems sad to be so pessimistic.

Chelsea:

That is great, thanks for sharing, that was just the reply I hoped for :)

Sandra:

Total acceptance indeed, well done you.

[Lana Mae]

Great! Best wishes to you both! Hugs Lana Mae

[RADER]

About a year before my wife died, she asked me why I did not have a wig.
Well I just do not have any; so she looked up on the internet, and found a place in Chicago
that catered to CDers. I called and made an appointment. It was great, I spent 21/2 hours with the SA, in a
privet session trying on wigs, looking for the perfect look. I could not make up my mind, so she gave me a
real good deal on 3 wigs. I brought them home, and my wife liked all 3 of them. She would make me wear
one every time I wore a dress or a skirt. She said I should always complete the look.
I miss her so much.
Rader

[DaisyLawrence]

That's a lovely and touching story Rader and was a sign of total acceptance for sure from your wife. As you say, the wig 'completes the look' and that I think is why the acceptance of the partner is needed for them to be happy with a wig.

[Teri Ray]

Daisy Your thread holds a lovely sentiment. You are right to be happy with your wife and her acceptance. Best wishes.

[Ressie]

I had a GF nearly 40 years ago that accepted my CDing more than I did! Haven't had a partner that cared for it since. Congratulations on your relationship Daisy.

[Jennifer in CO]

Mine comes in two parts. First, when I told her about "me" about a week later I got a package in the mail (I was in TX, she still in CO). A pink nylon bra/pantie set. Second, almost 12 months later, when I flew back to CO for our wedding, she met me at the airport. With a bag under her arm. In the bag was a white mini-dress she had made for me, along with a white bra/pantie/garter set, hose and 4" white pumps. Her intent after I had on the dress was for us to stop at the JP and get married then leave (a very late elope - she had on a white pant suit). But on the trip down to the airport she realized that wasn't possible but she still wanted me in the dress for the drive back to her town (2+hours). So we found a place there in the airport to change and I wore that outfit back to her place including a stop for a coke/fries along the way (I was very passable). When they make clothes for you as a gift (a wedding dress no less), thats total acceptance.

[Joan_CD]

We were going to a concert once and I figured I would give her a break and dress male for once. She came out of the bathroom, looked at me and said you aren’t even dressed yet and if you don’t hurry we will be late.

[Beverley Sims]

My total acceptance comes from no comment at all about what I am wearing and going out together dressed all the time.

I get my clothes straightened and rearranged if something is out of place.

I am told if something does not suit the moment or is unsuitable.

I also get compliments when I am dressed up.

I am very lucky. :-)

[Pat]

When they make clothes for you as a gift (a wedding dress no less), thats total acceptance.

I know it's not a competition, but I think you won -- yes, when your SO makes you a wedding dress for your wedding, that's some pretty serious accepting. ;)

[KatrinaK]

I got two shortly after I told her- first was her bringin home a makeup app for me to try, second one was after she teased me for having a dab of eyelash glue on my eyelid after she came back from being out of town, she brought home magnetic lashes for us to try.

[Micki_Finn]

“You should get boobs. No BIGGER!”