Met a girl online, but...

[soccer1986]

I would love some input from others out there to see what you think.

So I met a girl online a few weeks ago and yes I was looking for someone that was ok with my cross-dressing. I was honest about what I was looking for and she seem to be ok with it. I do not want to be 24/7 but would love to have a partner that is active with my dressing and I don't have to hide. We have been talking for a couple of weeks but have yet to meet face to face.

As we have talked I have brought up cross-dressing subjects and she seems to be ok with it. As the academy awards were a few weeks ago I just comment on some of the dresses and how they looked and she seem to just give me very short answers like yes, no, maybe, ok, etc. One thing is that when I bring up the conversation about her and what she likes and what she wants her one response to most of the questions is that she just wants to make her partner happy which is an ok response but not much to go on.

I understand that as partners we love to make our other half happy but I just feel that at this point her response is kinda awkward. With the cross-dressing as a big part of what I was looking for I just feel that she is just looking for someone to be with and not be alone. I don't want to wake up five years from now and she just regrets everything. There are other issues like kids, family, friends and other that when I ask about it she just gives me the same answer she just wants to see me happy.

I don't know if I am reading too much into it, i might be but in the back of my head I just fee that she is just looking for someone so she won't be alone.

[Joyce Swindell]

I'm no expert by any means, however, I would consider meeting in a public place if you've learned enough about each other to do so. In drab the first time as well. Or maybe a video chat...face to face maybe?

In other words...if your relationship deems going further...don't discount her for what issues you have posted. It's hard to know everything from conversation on the net....that takes years :)!

[kimdl93]

Let me take a crack at it. Everyone seeking a relationship does so for the purpose of not being alone. You are doing her a disservice by making that sound like a deficiency.

If you have asked her if she would be OK with your cross dressing, her response seems pretty straight forward. She wants you to be happy and if cross dressing helps you in that way, she's OK.

But my guess is that you're looking for more enthusiasm for your cross dressing than she possesses. That's not a fault on her part. And its very likely that she can be OK, ie tolerate CDing, but is not particularly enthusiastic. If that were the case, she would probably want to engage in the conversation to much greater extent.

So, what to do. Id suggest you tell her as clearly as possible what you want from cross dressing and what you want. If its tolerance to let you do your own thing in private...ask her that. I you would like to be accepting of your dressing in her presence....ask that. If you're curious about doing more, such as brining it into the bedroom...be straightforward in asking her how she would feel. And if you're interested in going out dressed with her, doing things together, what better time to ask.

These are things I didn't fully understand about myself when my ex and I met many years ago. I mistook her tolerance as acceptance and projected my enthusiasm onto her. And she did end up past her limit. Don't make my mistake.

[jennifer0918]

Soccer or fütbol? Ok well some have a book of rules and rule 1 is meet in guy mode in a public place. I say forget that follow your gut,live ,feel alive ,take a risk. But do be cautious meet en femme in a public place like a show or a mall . Yes do video chat if possible.

Not all gg's are gems and some are illy misinformed, you need to look out for number 1 ,being you. From reading your thread im suspicious about those one word comments she makes. To me it sounds like yes she enterained the idea at the start but now she is not engaging you on the subject.

In conclusion have fun,have caution,and be safe.

[Jenny22]

Soccer sister, you're 34 y/o, you've been a forum member 3 1/2 years. That's not much to go on, as respects you.

What was the on-line meeting source? Craigslist? Unless you've seen 'her' live, how do you*know she's not a guy who is just yanking your chain?

If she is real, agree to meet in person and you in drab, as Joyce suggested. Just be careful.

[jennifer0918]

Tolerance and acceptance are not synonymous. I came out to a TS friend of mine of 15 years and yes she was accepting but not tolerant,she has her opinion about what I do but keeps it to herself. We go out, me en femme dinner,movies, or the mall and we have fun that's it. Which I'm totally fine with that ,I appreciate her support and I can not force anything on her. When we are out shopping she never trys to dress me or buy me cloths she says your not my doll ,your an individual, a person ,you are not my fetish nor a toy ,your my family my best friend. I love her so sweet . Soccer just communicate with her .

[Tracii G]

If the answers are short like yes no or maybe then she isn't paying much attention to the conversation.
Could be she is chatting with other guys at the same time that she is more interested with.
Its fine to tell her what you are looking for and to be honest about who you are but take what she says with a grain of salt.
Meet somewhere for coffee enfemme or drab let her make that choice and see how it goes.
I did that with a guy I met online and went enfemme because he asked me to.
It was OK but not the greatest of meet ups I could tell he wans't as accepting as he made it out to be.
Finding gay guys that are is pretty difficult.

[Micki_Finn]

So not to be over rude or suspicious, but how sure are you that she’s “Real”? Have you talked to her on the phone or met her face to face or anything? There are a LOT of people, guys in particular, that get their kicks from talking to “T-girls” online even though they have no intention of actually dating.

[jennifer0918]

Soccer on my TS friend I mentioned in my post I meet her on My space . So just a tought yes on line can be risky but I gambled and got a good friend.

[Tracii G]

Micki is right and if you look closely at the text conversation you can tell if the person you are chatting with is male or female.
Speech patterns and words used are dead giveaways.

[soccer1986]

Thanks to all that replied.

For one i did say the dressing up part was important but I have the same responses fro just regular relationship questions like would you like children or what type of music do you like. I know some people are not as open when talking about themselves but just to get her input it feels like pulling teeth.

I am being very cautious about what I say and I will definitely have to meet in person at a public place, of course in drab, don't even know if she is the one in the picture she sent me.
If it is some guy just pulling my leg then well it is what it is but I just have to be extra careful.

[Taylor186]

My experience is that someone who withholds or tempers their personal opinions, wants or desires because she (or he) is lonely and wants a relationship will quickly have opinions once they are in a relationship. I agree with your approach to get answers before getting serious in any way. And, if she won't answer, other than "whatever you want," then she's not the one.

[RADER]

I met my wife of 19 1/2 years on a blind date. On out first date alone together, I was standing in her living room
waiting for her to come down stairs, watching an awards show with the pretty girls on the RED carpet. Some had
some real fancy dresses. As my date walked in, I made the commit how I wish I had a dress like the one on TV.
Later near the end of our night out, She asked me if I would wear a dress like I saw. I said that if they had my size,
I would try it on for sure. She thought it was funny, and went into the house.
On out third date, she asked me if I had any dresses, I said no dresses, but a few skirts and tops.
2 weeks later, the 4 Th of July weekend, she was at my house, and we where having a cook out.
Of course it had to rain, and we where forced into the house. She asked me to wear a skirt, so she could see
what I had. Well I reluctantly went up stairs and put on a skirt and top, came down stairs. I was afraid she would
get up and walk out of the house. But to my surprise, she said, you can do better than that. What size do you
wear? so next weekend we went shopping. We where marred for 19 1/2 years before she passed.
I miss her.
Rader

[Ariana225]

Finding gay guys that are is pretty difficult.

I wonder if it’s the same difficulty as trying to find cis straight women that are fine with it as well. Someone needs to create a pansexual dating site if one doesn’t already exist.

[Leslie Mary S]

I would be highly suspicious of that person. A nose to nose, live action, chat would be what I would suggest. A 'Whatever you want' almost sounds like a 'professional Street walker'

[docrobbysherry]

"Don't let your own wheels drive u crazy!":straightface:

I did online dating for a time. I never thot much about my dates until I met them. Because to me? Folks aren't all that real until I meet them!
Which is why most of my FB Friends, and u here, I could forget in an instant. While those of u I've actually met will stay with me until my long dirt nap!:hugs:

[Sami Brown]

I would be very skeptical about her enthusiasm given those short answers. Compare that to Rader's story, where there was interest, lots of questions, and curiosity. It could just be the girl's personality, but it seems like a bunch of red flags to me.

In other words, she isn't saying what an enthusiastic person would say.

Good luck!

Sami

[Alaina R]

If crossdressing was not part of the equation would you still be interested in this woman? So far her responses don't add up to much. Proceed with caution and don't let your understandable desire to find someone tolerant of dressing cloud your judgement

[giuseppina]

I make no claim to being an expert, but if the two of you meet, it should in a public place with plenty of people around so there are witnesses to everything. There are too many people of ill intent out there.

[lingerieLiz]

There are people who use false names and make contact with people. If you have seen the TV show Catfish they track down people who use false personas. Sometime it is a relative or friend. Other times it is someone you don't want to be around.

[Beverley Sims]

Meet in a neutral place like Starbucks or Burger King.

I would not go dressed on the first meeting.

It can be a setup, so be cautious.

If the subsequent meeting is favourable then arrange something more suitable.

[Nicole Erin]

It is probably some weird guy from the middle east, like the ones who keep proposing marriage on facebook to my room mate.

If you met her on a dating site, I would probably bet it is some woman but perhaps not quite a super model.
Just make sure and NOT send her any money when she gets stuck at some airport on the way to see you. Tell her to hitch hike instead. Maybe buy an inexpensive MP3 player loaded with her favorite songs in case she ends up having to walk and overnight it to the airport.
If she asks for money cause her family or kids are sick, send her coupons for free cans of soup.

I quit using dating sites because there just were not enough women who were struggling with their weight.

[Tracii G]

CL is full of "desperate housewives" divorced middle aged cranky women that wondered why their man left them.
I am single and vow to stay that way because I cannot put up with drama.
CL is kind of like being a bottom feeding catfish you get the bottom of the barrel.

[kayegirl]

I can only relate my own experience of online dating sites. After loosing my first wife to cancer, I managed living alone for something like 18 months, but was heading towards becoming alcohol dependant, so decided to try and find a new partner. The first person I met through the site, was 10 years older than her claimed age, and her photo was more than 20 years old. Needless to say our first actual meeting lasted all of 10 minutes. Over the next 15 months I corresponded with many other women, even met some of them. Let's just say that it was an interesting period in my life. So Soccer, sorry but please be cautious, believe nothing until you actually meet the person. I wish you all good luck. Oh and yes I did eventually find my new partner, but the introduction came via my dentist, not a Web site. And yes I am extremely happy.

[donnalee]

Before a face to face, try a phone conversation. You can tell a lot more about someone from a conversation than you can from emails or text. If that goes OK, then I'd try a face to face meeting.

[Krisi]

I would caution you that everything you see and read in the Internet is not what it seems to be. It's been mentioned by others but this "girl" may well be a guy. I suggest meeting in a public place in the daytime before you spend more time and effort on this possible relationship.