Town closed down, riots in the streets !!

[Teresa]

I would hate to have report that but experienced the total opposite . OK I've been out for over two years in my social group and had other outings but this was the first time I've dressed , applied makeup and worn a wig to go out to do everday jobs in broad daylight .

I decided they were jobs that had to be done the only differnce being I would be wearing different clothes to normal . So I didn't fuss too much with makeup , how little did I need , it is surprising how little it takes . As for clothes , I had my slim fit black cords with my heeled boots , a multi striped sweater with a pink roll neck underneath , my lightweight waterproof jacket with matching scarf .

I checked my bag , took a deep breath and stepped out my door, I know I've described this before but my frontage is elelvated with several steps down to my drive so thers is no hiding from neighbours or passers by. I've dealt with those issues already in previous threads .

So my first stop was the lage DIY store to replace a broken item , that went so well , evryone was polite and full of smiles . Next the supermarket a few hundred yards into town , I couldn't believe that I was pushing my first shopping trolley dressed and no one was taking any notice . Before I knew it I was at the checkout and chatting to a lovely lady in front of me . Being good Friday meant it was busy , I just passed as just another shopper . I had to fill up with fuel so I used the self service at the pump , again very busy but hardly a second glance . On my way out of town I needed to pick up an new rear wiper blade for my car . Usually car accessory stores are used maily by men , so I wondered if there might be a different response but I picked the part I thought was the right only to be told they didn't stock my model. So a kind SA took me back to the racks and found an alternative , the checkout guy was very polite .

I'm not sure how I felt when I returned home, I can't say if I was relieved , excited or even let down slightly . I nearly did chicken out again until I started to put on my makeup and then the ball was rolling , and what an experience I would have missed . Whether I was accepted as a woman or not by everyone I can't say but just going out sensibly dressed with a balance of nice makeup and being pleasant was a complete eyeopener . Possibly I fitted in a social box that people were comfortable with .

There are so many replies I've made to others on the forum that suddenly came home to me , people don't know where we are on the TG spectrum and really don't care , the important point is how you treat them is repaid the same way . Some say go out and own it , that's probably correct as long as you aren't in their face with it .

[Jenn26]

Teresa

So glad to know that no riots ensued!! I am so happy that the day went so well for you. All that you have been through to get to this point must have validated everything you are feeling. What a great win! I think the last statement says so much: "people don't know where we are on the TG spectrum and really don't care, the important point is how you threat them is repaid the same way." That is a piece of advice that I am going to tuck away and remember for a very long time.

Cheers to you!

[Vikky]

Hi Teresa
I thought I felt the Earth wobble on its axis this morning, I know why now!
Like others I have followed your progress with interest, and a certain amount of envy. What a great day you have had, may you have many more.
Vikky

[Lana Mae]

Teresa, congrats on deciding to go out dressed! I know those feelings, especially the feeling of let down! I got that when I went to the mall to the MAC counter! Everyone is in their own little world! You just need to be yourself and it will be fine! I am sure there are exceptions but this is what I have found so far! Best wishes for future successes! Hugs Lana Mae

[Beverley Sims]

Good for you Teresa, I thought you were already further down the road than where you appear to be.

May the world be your oyster.

[Sidney]

So happy for you. Im smiling. You just go gal.

[bridget thronton]

Onward and upward - may all you do bring you happiness

[Allisa]

Welcome to the " I can be me in public no matter how I'm dressed" world. How did it feel to have a man help "this poor woman" find a part she needed? You also did one of my favorite things, you went grocery shopping, I don't know why but it is just so enjoyable moving about with all those women. I know your confidence is sky high now, there's no holding you back, it's a whole new world now. I can still recall my first outing into the everyday world, one of those life affirming things you never forget. Good show Teresa.

[Tracii G]

Teresa I am so glad you had your epiphany and you finally realize its not how you dress its how you treat others while you are dressed.Be nice,cordial and be yourself because you have every right to be.
See taking a leap of faith is all it took to make you realize that you were the one holding you back.
No more excuses and trying to explain away things. You have reached the summit and I am so happy for you.

[Teresa]

Bev,
I've found it a big diference between dressing to the nines to meet up socially with others even when I have met many members of the public in a hotel environment , I've never had a problem . Also going to a pride event as an adviser was great but the cold light of day , walking down the high street doing the daily jobs hasn't happened before because of my previous DADT situation . The learning curve is slightly different as I've mentioned before , how to do everyday , what to wear , how much or little makeup, is the wig right ?
In a previous thread Pat suggested I was overthinking it , how right she was .

I entered into a convesation with another dog walker , it turned out to be a small World and I eventually told him he could see me dressed differently ometime walking the dog. He then recounted an incident in the local high street of seeing a CDer with a huge untidy blond wig , tottering in shoes and dressed appallingly so he turned to me and said, " If you are going to do it , do it right !" I know it's a subjective thing , what's right to one is OTT to another but I couldn't do MIAD . I don't mind people looking to double check if you are male or female or nicer still if they look because you look good .

Lisa ,
At least in that situation he didn't ask why I bought a Volvo , nothing ever fits them !!

It's a funny think about supermarket shopping , in male mode a man alone with a shoppoing trolley gets as many if not more looks, OK it may not help by people noticing you have packets of tights or hold ups and a pack of panties in your trolley.

Tracii,
I agree, I've discovered be yourself and be pleasant when meeting people in hotels also going solo is a different ball game .

[Tracii G]

I agree with Pat on the over thinking thing.
You seem to be finding your groove and I am happy for you.

[CONSUELO]

Good for you Teresa. Perhaps the next time you are out shopping we can arrange for several members of this site to be there cheering you and holding up placards say "Go Teresa".

You make a very important point that while it has been stated here many times needs saying again. If you are out either dressed or shopping for new female clothing, just be polite and pleasant at all times. You will almost always get the same treatment in return.

I once had a discussion with friends about my habit of always saying please and thank you to the bus driver when I got my bus transfer. They argued that there was no need to say please and thank you to someone who was doing a paid job. I strongly disagreed and my argument is that politeness and gratitude, even a bit more than possibly needed, makes the interaction with others more pleasant and rewarding. It is the "Oil" that lubricates our social interactions.

[Teresa]

Consuelo,
I've found it never hurts to thank people for their kindness and make it clear I appreciate the effort they have made on your behalf, whether it's part of a paid job or not they are still human beings with feelings . When you come from a background of doing your best but with little thanks or even the job was never good enough and could always been done better, showing your gratitude is great gesture and costs nothing .

[GracieRose]

Great to hear that all went well.
You are on your way.
I'm so happy for you.
Enjoy!

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

I have only one thing to say, nah nah, told you so.......

So Ok it's more than one thing. I'm so pleased you've made this vital step. This is perhaps the event that will truly enable you to find the person you seek. being able to go out and interact with others as your femme self validates all you've gone through. Don't over think it, just dress conservatively to blend and be natural with people. It took me a little while to be fully confident in myself but I now understand that when I walk up to the counter and say hello to the SA I do it not thinking that will they recognise I'm a CD'er. I know the answer to that, hell yes. So I am now just me. It's not a CD'er out shopping, it's me. As others have said being nice, gets nice.


I once had a discussion with friends about my habit of always saying please and thank you to the bus driver when I got my bus transfer. They argued that there was no need to say please and thank you to someone who was doing a paid job. I strongly disagreed and my argument is that politeness and gratitude, even a bit more than possibly needed, makes the interaction with others more pleasant and rewarding. It is the "Oil" that lubricates our social interactions.

Consuelo,

Couldn't agree more. I look upon it as being nice is like a relay race were the baton is a good deed, act of kindness or a shared pleasantry. If you are the recipient of one of these then it's down to you to pass it on. If everyone did this then we'd all end up being much nicer to each other. It's said good manners costs nothing so saying thank you should be the norm regardless of whether or not someone is getting paid. After all, it's another human being we're dealing with.

[docrobbysherry]

Slap, slap! Don't ever do that again, Teresa!:Angry3:

A header like that is like the sheepherd crying, "Wolf!"

But, glad u had a nice outing, anyway.:) I live thru u vicariously. Because I would enjoy outings like yours the same as I do root canals!:heehee:

[Teresa]

Sherry,
Suitably told off , but not sure what to make of your comment associating it with root canals , I know stepping out the car door even for those first few moments was way less painful than sitting in a dentist chair waiting for him to do his worse , I always have all my dental work done without injections so the choice is a no brainer !!

Helen,
It was partly thinking about your trips out that gave me that little push , as I say once I started putting on makeup the ball was rolling , it did help knowing what outfit I would wear and there's the second suprise wearing trousers again when I said I never would when dressed .

Sorry I keep meaning to get some pictures as I promised the girls in the Edinburgh Wool Mill shop that I would, I love the two sweaters I bought from them .

[Nikki A.]

Good for you Theresa, sounds like the everyday routines are not so hard after all. Funny thing I do my grocery shopping on Sundays after I attend church, I have a choice of markets and it seems that everyone is so concerned with their own shopping they don't even seem to pay attention.
I did have a nice incident, I was trying to reach something from the top shelf and just couldn't get it. A nice young lady with better knees than mine, used the bottom shelf as a step and reached it for me. See there are nice people out there.

[carolyn todd]

Well done Teresa but the main thing is you enjoy your self.
Teresa you don't have to tell people that you are crossdresser/in transition just be yourself if people see you as a miad or woman that what they see, people see what they want to see.

" treat people as you wish to be treat yourself".

Carolyn

[Teresa]

Nikki,
We never see ourselves as others do , we only see our faults but obviously I was to use the overused expression passing or persenting well enough not to get the giggles and double takes . It was the total acceptance that I was a surprised with, did I look that convincing or has the whole TG movement moved on so much people are more aware of it than we think ? Ok some people are totally absorbed in their own shopping needs they don't notice very much at all around them .

Carolyn,
I agree with that even if you do tell them does it realy matter to them, those issues only really concern close family and friends . Appearance is everything , if they get the right message there shouldn't be a problem. This goes back to the comment I made about doing everyday is harder than dressing to the nines . If I'd worn a short tight skirt and killer heels the story could have been very differnt and I didn't want to shock I wanted to be part of the community to go comfortably about my business and that is what I achieved .

[Nikki A.]

Teresa
You may be right, we may be our own worst critics. I do believe that most people are good, even if we are not convincing if we put in the effort to look respectable most people will not call you out on it. Also with all the news and people who have transitioned I think we are starting to gain some acceptance in society. Not all there yet but at least it is a start.

[sweetdreams]

Totally agree Teresa.

I've been to the supermarket a couple of times. Only odd thing was one guy clocked me and couldn't seem to take his eyes off me (you need to be ready for this and know how you will deal with it). Other than that one occurrence everyone ignored me. When I got to the check out had a nice chat with the cashier. Talked about the weather, when she got off work, etc. Went about my business as needed. Owned it. Was polite and positive about it. Made a point of trying to engage the people I interacted with (i.e. the cashier). All went well.

[Rogina B]

Teresa,as you may have seen it,I have a discussion going on under the title "It is all fun and games until your last name is involved"...It is about publicly owning it...Perhaps you will now better understand what I was posting about now that you had a day of experience in the mainstream. Have a look !

[Teresa]

Rogina,
I've just checked out that thread again and you will see I totally agreed with you on this point of not hiding behind a name . I admit when I first joined this forum adopting a name very close to my male one was scary but I'm so gald I did it makes the transition from one to another that much easier . I've always hated the cloak and dagger stuff, OK induced out of a DADT situation hopefully that will gradually ebb away .

I have done mainsteam with my social outings and helping to advise on pride days , everyday is a different ball game I fully accept that but was surprised how easier it was than I expected .

[Rogina B]

And you can now see why I ripped you up over your silly picture book and accompanying story ! IT doesn't matter !