A milestone of presentation.

[DaisyLawrence]

As you may or may not know, I do not consider myself a binary male, more towards the female end of the gender spectrum, and I generally present quite androgenously day to day when not doing the 100% woman thing. So I really appreciate it when the public use an appropriate female term. Yesterday, my wife and I where walking down the high street past some market stalls when a stall holder said "would you like to try a sample of our locally made cheese ladies?". All good I hear you say. But here is the thing, a second or so later I remembered that I had rushed out and was presenting essentially male. Now it was cold so I had on a large parka that would hide boobs if I had them and I was also wearing my usual long winter boots (no heel), womens super skinny jeans, my favourate everyday dangly earings, and (perhaps most importantly) a bobble hat that covered my receding hair-line so I was androgenous to say the least. However, no wig, no makeup, a definate facial shadow etc and no particular affort to appear more feminine that I am, so to be called a lady really made my day :). The moral of the story? In your desire to pass there must be hope. If I can be mistaken for a woman when not trying then there is hope for all.

[Helen_Highwater]

Daisy,

That would certainly make your day.

Perhaps one explanation could be that it's the way you move. Mannerisms, how you walk. These are the other visual clues we the observer pick up on.

Are you conscious of walking more in a femme way or us it something you've just now taken as your natural gait?

It's surprising just how important these glues are. The other night walking to the pub ahead of me we're two people walking a dog. The difference in height made me think man & wife but when they started to move she had a much more male way of walking. Without the height reference I'd had a much more difficult time identifying which was what.

[Teresa]

Daisy,
The assumption is the market trader wasn't taking the **** ! I know market traders have very little to lose they can pass comments and sometimes make OTT remarks because some are here today and gone tomorrow .

I choose not to do the in between state , it's either all male or all female , I'm comfortable with either but not in between .

[~Renee~]

Daisy I'm being to wonder if our persona is telepathically conveyed. In the past 4 months I've been misgendered 3 times. Last week I took my work lunch break with my wife. Obviously total drab winter clothing. Hostess says to me and my wife, okay ladies I will seat you now. My wife couldn't believe it and I told her it happens a lot over the years. In the past I would get angry, but last week I was flattered or thought this woman must be blind. Nonetheless we both got a laugh out of the situation and hostess never corrected herself. These events give me tremendous hope that when I actually exit the door, all will be well.

[Sidney]

Hope I can explain this properly. There are women who are plain janes, there average women, there woman dressed to the 9s who look sexey. Then there women who no matter how terrible their dressed, how upheaveled their hair or makeup or not are beautiful to look at. These women also send out a signal of some sort that beautiful thru and thru. Both my first and present wife have that. Dont know what the correct term is but I call it sex appeal. It's something they radiate from within that is projected to others, both to males and females. Both my wives are straight as an arrow but I have to not only watch out for males hitting on them but females as well. Both are in their seventies now and that aurora is still there. So I think what you experienced with this "high ladies" was your inner aura projecting to the other person. Just my take.

[Tracii G]

I have been with GG friends out shopping or eating dinner afterwards and have been mis gendered more times than I can count.
From the back because of my long hair is one reason because the person sees the long hair and womens clothes I have on and assumes a female.
I have had it happen alone as well for the same reasons but the fact I have make up on.
I think people see the clothes and hair and think female but upon a closer look they may be too embarrassed to say oops sorry I mean sir not knowing really what you are.
Its not some mythical inner aura or a vibe you put out thinking you have some girly powers people just make mistakes and mis gender people like us all the time.

[Leslie Langford]

What Sidney said, Renee and Daisy.

The fact that you were dressed totally in drab has nothing to do with you being misgendered. Most women these days dress either in male or male-inspired clothing - you know, for "comfort", or else "I really don't give a **** how I look...I'm an empowered female!).

I would venture to guess that in your case, you either had long hair, soft(er) facial features, no visible facial hair or stubble, well-kept nails, groomed eyebrows etc., and your overall mannerisms might have been what is often construed as "effeminate".

As others here have said, it usually comes down to first impressions and/or the unspoken "vibes" that a person sends out that determine how they are perceived by others. People often see what they want - or expect - to see.

[DaisyLawrence]

Helen. Yes you may be correct about the walk. I do find myself unknowingly taking on female mannersims when out and about.

Teresa. She was not taking the piss. I am 53 not 6 and know full well when someone is being honest and when they are taking the piss. I grew up in Manchester, we Mancunians know sarcasm when we see it.

Renee. It gave my wife a chuckle as well. It was fun for both of us.

Leslie. Good guessess but no long hair sadly, but I'm working on that so to speak.

Sidney. You seem to have a knack for marrying beautiful women. If you know how you do it you should bottle it and sell it. I know men that would sell their sole for that :).

[Dana44]

If I am shaved then I get called mam so often.

[DaisyLawrence]

Dana. Indeed a good shave is essential!

[Beverley Sims]

It is a nice experience but, I would take a close look at why you were mis gendered and work on that in order to perfect your look.

[DaisyLawrence]

Beverley. I'm not sure you read my OP correctly. I'm happy that I was misgendered so nothing to work on.

[DIANEF]

It's surprising just how important these glues are.

You stick with that story Helen :) (mods, Helen will know I'm only joking)

That's a great story Daisy, it has happened to me in the past (in the Trafford Center of all places) when I had longish hair but was presenting totally male. I assumed the SA just glanced at me and my wife and only took in part of what she saw, and maybe the fact she only saw me from the side.
What you said about Manchester I can confirm is true also!!

[DaisyLawrence]

The Trafford Centre? Surely you mean Dumplington Diane?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sorry. But, I never take any sales or service person seriously about their gender reference to me. Most r just trying their best to do their job. If they miss gender me when I'm dressed, but do their job well and r polite, I care less what they call me!:straightface:
When u r dressed androgenously, u simply make their work and guesses more difficult!:sad:

As far as me being misgendered in drab? That'll happen when pigs fly!:tongueout

[lorisdream]

That happens to me much more now that my hair is so long. When it happens, I tell my wife "All Right, I got lady'ed today". It really makes me feel good especially when i am in 100 percent male mode. It must be by inner self outwardly shining, or at least I like to think that.

[DaisyLawrence]

Lorisdream, that is just it, your inner self outwardly shining, couldn't have put it better myself :)

Daisy

[Jaymees22]

I have been mis-gendered while in male mode more than a few times, perhaps my male persona isn't as good as I think it is.

[Beverley Sims]

In the winter in Seattle one time I was constantly mis-gendered.

I was wearing a padded womens coat over jeans, relatively easy when so dressed.

I suppose you had a feelgood day? :-)