Scarlett's excited about a rare night out this Friday! My Two Questions?

[Scarlett398]

As most of you girls know, I rarely get out in public. This Friday I'm entering new territory! This will be the first time I get my girl on and go through about 7 bars in our nearest downtown area that are all connected by a common hallway. I've never been in any bar while getting my girl on as Scarlett. I'm really excited because it's a very busy, crowded, but very safe place in town. I don't know if I'll dance with a girl or a guy, have a drink while sitting at the bar watching others dance, or just stroll through all of the bars slowly and take it all in as just Scarlett.

My first question is - "What did you do the first time you got your total girl on and went to a bar or several bars in your nearest city/town?" I'll be flying solo which is how I have flown while out and about as Scarlett. I've only been out four times in my life!

I'm sure I'll be a little nervous when they check my ID on the way in. They always do at this area of town before you go into the hallway that connects all of these bars. Not sure what to say when I pull out my driver's license and they see I'm a guy instead of a girl. My second question is - "What did you say the first time you got all dolled up and had your guy ID checked on the way into a bar while dressed as a cute, sexy, classy girl?"

Thanks for your input girls! XOXOXO Scarlett

[Tracii G]

All I can say it was way different that I thought it was going to be.
I am not a clubbing kind of person and I don't drink.
I figured I would pass ok but no I was read from the moment I walked into the club The two GGs that took me there wanted to leave ASAP so we left.
Stopped by a place in another section of town and pretty much the same thing.Read right off the bat lots of giggling so we left.
Keep in mind I had been going out most anywhere on my own with very little trouble but never to a club of any kind.
I thought I had my make up skill down pretty good and the girls thought I looked fine.
Now your first time might go perfectly so don't let my experience keep you from going and having a good time.
Just don't be so arrogant and think I look damn good I am going to stun the crowd because they are going to know you are a guy more than likely so don't expect too much.
If they are good people and accepting you might just have a fantastic night.
Keep us posted on how things go.

[Alice_2014_B]

This is the only time I've been to a bar en-fem:

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?253385-Pictures-from-doing-Stand-Up-18Oct2017

It was just down the street from where I live.
And was just after my fourth time doing stand-up, and I've lost count as to how many times I've been out en-fem.

One thing about going to the bar that night is that it was not planned and I would not have gone alone.

I'll go to other places alone though.
I just said to her after my set, "Let's go to a bar!"
I was pumped up on adrenaline, lol.

:)

[Becky Blue]

Best of luck Scarlett I am sure you will have an amazing time and I hope you are going to be taking that camera of yours with you!!
I have had to show male ID on going into quite a few bars, mostly in San Fran... my approach was usually to say nothing, and enjoy a look of surprise sometimes. If I ever felt something needed to be said, my line was I am really glad that you think I look so young that you need to see my ID, they usually laughed and said we need to see everyones ID. Never had any issues, they are checking ID for underage drinking not gender.

My first times out were always with friends, safer and more fun I guess....been to bars/clubs in Chicago, San Francisco, Sydney and Gold Coast never had the slightest problem anywhere.

[Beverley Sims]

In the early days I always went with friends, very few checks then as we all looked older.

Read occasionally and some silly comments from those that had a few too many,but with company there were few challenges.

[Pat]

When you hand your ID across you don't have to say anything, actually. Just hand them the ID and smile. Look straight at them so they can match the features of your face to the picture and they should wave you on.

Personally, I advise people who are new at being out to avoid places where alcohol is a primary focus of the event -- it lowers the IQ of the crowd. But if you feel confident, go for it. Let us know how it went. You may find out why women go to bars in groups.

[Sarah Doepner]

The first time I went out was in Las Vegas and there were no ID checks on that trip, just my own paranoia and adrenaline and poor wardrobe planning. I hadn't paid attention at all to what other women my age were wearing and the things I picked didn't even come close to blending. Worse was picking shoes that had never been off carpeted floors and before I was halfway to my destination my feet were hurting. So the first advice is wear shoes that will still be your friends at the end of the evening. Second is be honest about your apparent age and size and consider toning down your outfit a little.

I have been asked for ID since and it's usually; look at you, look at the ID, look at you, look at the ID, look at you and pass you on without a word. Sometimes they will ask a question that requires an answer, so be prepared. Your adrenaline will likely be running high so think about it before it happens so your answer isn't heard as a challenge. Something like "Oh yep that's me on a bad hair day" or "I'm just trying a new look" may work, your mileage may vary.

As others have said, anyone who pays attention will see you were not born female. But in a bar type environment very few people will really pay attention or pay attention for very long. Some will be thrilled you are there and women may compliment you on your look or bravery. Be gracious and thank them, they may be one of our allies at some point. As Pat mentioned since there will be alcohol there, there will be people who are not as smart or courteous as at other times. They probably won't be paying attention and most of the ones who may not understand or approve will just ignore you to mutter in their drink or to their friends. Occasionally someone will say something so you can hear it, smile and move along. Since you will be on your own, please practice what all women without friends or escorts do for situational awareness, not drinking too much and being prepared.

I hope your night out is a grand success and we get to hear all about it.

[Cheryl T]

For me the first time I just enjoyed the flow of people, sipped a few cocktails and listened to the music.

As for having my ID checked...lol...I'm old enough that that doesn't happen anymore and sorry to say so.

[docrobbysherry]

I strongly suggest u do NOT attend alone, Scarlet. I've received some very ugly comments and looks from drunks just walking thru casinos alone in Vegas. I go out often to T friendly clubs and events. But, even to those I usually take along my T friend!

I hope it goes well!:thumbsup:

[Jenny22]

Carry a purse or clutch bag, and use a lady's wallet with the needed items .. ID, credit card, medical cards, cash. Also, carry some basic make up. Pee before you leave, and drink small amounts of liquids or you may have to pee again and have to select which restroom to use. Be careful and have fun.

[Alice B]

I have had my idea checked several times and nothing has been said oter than I did not look my age. Every venue (bar, resturant, etc) has always been accepting, so fear not.

[Scarlett398]

Super advice Jenny! Yep, not a lot of water before going out and if I have to pee, I'll definitely use the girl's restroom. I don't look anything like a guy when I get my girl on as Scarlett. So if I showed up in the men's room, it would probably create a bit of a scene! Can I fit what I need into a small sexy clutch purse?

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I'm flying solo because I have no wing girl. It's a really safe spot because it's not like New York or Chicago. I don't have to worry about getting beat up in the parking lot. Things will go just fine....XOXOXO Scarlett

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Thank Sarah and I will give a full report on Saturday or Sunday...I'm gonna borrow one of your lines if things get curious at the ID check. I like "I'm just trying a new look".....XOXOXO Scarlett

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I'll be just fine. No one can actually tell that I'm not a girl. I am more than passable and the only way someone can tell I'm a guy is if I have to carry on a short conversation because I don't try to disguise my own voice.

I probably won't be staying very long and may not have a drink at all but I will walk through every one of the bars down that common hallway and smile most all of the way. If I have a seat at the bar or at a table by myself, I'm almost sure some guy would come up to me and ask me if I want to dance...

I'll let you know how things go on Saturday or Sunday. I might visit Victoria's Secret in the mall to buy some sexy panties before I head to the bars. Last week my wife was with me in there and they had most all of their sexy panties 8 for 28 dollars! My sexy redhead let me pick out 8 thongs for her!

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Yeah Bec...I don't expect any issues at all. I'll have my camera with me, however, I won't be taking it with me into the bars. I think I'll go to that outdoor mechanic's garage where I have done a nice little photo shoot before. The background from about 4 different angles in there are fabulous! I may take some from the parking lot of the mall or take my camera into the mall and have one of the girls take photos of me in there which I've done before. Just to prove that I did go out as Scarlett!

Love ya and thanks for the advice and I might use your line about being flattered that you think I'm so young that you have to check my ID. I'm first just gonna keep my mouth shut and smile and see what happens....

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I always love your replies Alice...I still wanna try comedy all dolled up as Scarlett!

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I will keep ya posted on how things go Tracii. The three times I've been to the mall, absolutely no one could tell I was a guy. When I went into my very first shop which was Sephora, even the makeup pros had no idea I was a guy until I opened my mouth and told them and they were kind of in shock. "Oh my God, do you do your own makeup and did you pick out every part of the outfit your wearing or did you have some help from a wife or girl friend?" I got basically the same treatment at my next stop which was Victoria's Secret. The first girl who asked if she could help me had no idea I was a guy. She was wondering if I do my own makeup and pick out the clothes and booties for my outfit...They couldn't believe that a guy could put makeup on like I did and they couldn't believe that a guy could through such a cute and classy outfit together without help from a female. So I guess I'm more that just passable. There are a lot of people in the mall that I walked by and none of them knew I was a guy and looked at me strangely and snickered to their buddy or wife when I passed them in the mall. We'll see if things are different in these bars.

[Becky Blue]

Scarlett others will confirm, but you need to be prepared for the distinct possibility that one or more people will know your not a girl. that is not to say they will do anything about that fact. But its pretty naive to think that you will 100% pass no matter what. Be careful out there..

[Julie Slowinski]

I’m guessing these are mainstream clubs (if they are gay/mixed crowd places you will have absolutely no problems). Concerning your id, I don’t think the person checking will even bat an eye - they are just looking at age and to be moderately convinced it’s you (doubtful an underage person would go through such lengths just to get into a club). Tracii is correct that no one will be convinced you are a GG (no dig to you, it’s true for all of us). So, just own it. You are you and you need not make apologies for who you are. This part of owning it is the most important point, especially if going solo. Confidence is how you make friends. If there is snickering you will not see it cuz you are singularity focused on the people you are talking to.

Look for two younger girls that are talking just to each other, preferably if one of them has noticed you and and met your eyes with kindness. Ask one to dance and after a few songs offer to buy a round of drinks. Once a conversation starts stick with these girls for the night. Excuse the analogy, but be the platonic gay friend. Maybe this not true, but it suits your purpose - not looking to pick them up, just some companionship for the evening. An equally good option is a group of older women (~45) - they will love your outfit and wish they could still glam it up like you. Probably more interesting conversation with this group, but likely less dancing. In general, ignore guys unless they are with the group of girls you have joined. Another positive about connecting with some girls is that you can ask them to join you in the bathroom. Just be honest and say that you need to go and would be more comfortable if they were there with you - they will very likely understand and will be honored to help. Another interesting point is that they will likely assume you are transitioning. Up to you on how you respond (unlikely you will ever see any of these people ever again), but I always clarify that I’m married with kids and just like to be pretty once in a while.

A lot of information here, but if there’s one thing to remember, it’s all about owning it and being confident. If you have that, everything else will fall into place.

[Alice B]

I've never had help on clothing selection and that is something my wife would never do. I have had make overs at Macy's, but these were set up during DLV and were fun and a great learning tool. I want to have one here at home, but am somewhat afraid that some one I know could show up. I have been shoping at Dress Barn and Macy;s when dressed. I know I will not pass at close range, but I doubt that the boogy man will and acceptance by sales clerks is a given. After all it is about the sale. I have to ask,,,are you married? Look forward to your posts about the adventure