Last Time

[Amber-Sue]

Well the purge is complete. All cloths Amber had in her closet are packed up and will be stored away. I tried going out dressed and enjoyed it very much but the reaction of the general public made it very stressful. My wife and I have gone to movies, dinner, shopping, sightseeing and I enjoyed it but again the fear of what would happen. I tried to tell myself that at my age I did not care what others thought it worked until a local group refused to allow me to run for a board of directors because of my dressing. That hurt! I enjoy local history but I was not there kind of person. Sadly I say "So Long" to the few friends I have made here and I will "Ride of into the sunset" like so many of the others that used to be on here.

Thank you for being here when I needed it and stay around for others who stumble in and need help

Amber

[ChristinaK]

Good luck Amber. I'm so sorry you were discriminated against. I'm guessing you don't live in California.

I've heard many times on this site that purging doesn't work. I know that for me, the public reaction that I have received was overwhelmingly positive, even in conservative states. A little nervous going to the bathroom, but no problems.

Again, for me, Christina has always been a part of me, even though I tried to bury her for many years. Now that I've been out and around so much, I could never do what you are doing.

[Tracii G]

Seems you found out the people you wanted to work with are bigots and homophobes so why let them dictate who you are by running and hiding?
Are you going to be happy riding into the sunset?
They know you dress and their opinion of you isn't going to change if you don't dress anymore you know that right?
Why not be the person you are and let the people think what they want.
IMO you are acting like a kid taking his ball and going home because he is mad.
I have suffered discrimination too and most all of us have at one time or another so you got a taste of it thats all.
Maybe its just me I will not fold up and go away just because some person or group doesn't like me or what I do.
You are free to do as you wish and I hope you can find happiness whatever you decide to do.

[Helen_Highwater]

Amber,

It saddens me to hear of your decision. I can understand your reasoning but feel it's letting the bad guys win.

You've achieved more than many dream of and apart from the, what I can only call bigoted morons on the board of directors, it seems you've received very little in the way of real abuse. Fear of what might happen as opposed to what actually happened has driven your thinking.

You can only do what feels right for you but perhaps this is a time for reflection. The fact your femme things are stored and not thrown away tells me there's still doubt in your mind as to what ultimately the final outcome will be.

And one quick thought came to me writing this. Will those directors now appoint an ex CD'er or is the die cast. Somehow I doubt that a "repented" CD'er is going to appeal to their sensibilities.

I wish you well. Please stay in touch with us all here.

[Amy Lynn3]

Amber, I am sad that you were treated that way. I am not there, but I encountered a similar situation some years ago. I tried to keep attending with the group, but they had changed their attitudes and I felt so uncomfortable being around them. I am not saying this is the right thing to do, but I cut them out of my life and went on enjoying my time and friendship with other people You know what ? I am happy and they send word they miss me coming by. I just smile and keep on keeping on.

Most times people like you and I encounter allow their alligator mouth overload their hummingbird butt.

[Debs]

I like the "packed up and stored away", you will be back, recently times they are a changing, it was always gay lesbian rights(please dont pull me up on this), but now it seems we can be transvestites and cross dressers, its really changing. What I always remember is that if i walk down the street in a dress, or walk in a shop and uy some knickers, I have broken no law. But to some people I did

[Alice B]

What is "at my age"? I will be 76 in a week and can't fathom totally walking away from dressing.With your wife being so accepting I would think the two of you could find a solution. Have you discussed this with her?

[CONSUELO]

Packing things away is not really purging, so you have the opportunity to change your mind at some time in the future. Same goes for engaging with this site.
I don't really understand your reasoning. It seems your wife is still supportive and the only setback you mention is being refused the opportunity to run for a local group. You mention fear of what would happen to you but not the reasons for that fear. Have you been threatened in some way?
Don't let the bas****s win that easily.

[Tracii G]

It amazes me that big strong men give up so easily

[Beverley Sims]

Packed up and stored away, a good decision.

Get on with your life for now and maybe things will be better in the future.
Thank you for the kind words and good luck to you Amber.

[IleneD]

So sorry to hear this, and in so many ways.
It's the kind of narrative tale that I might experience some day, knowing The Fates. Invest a ton of time and effort and finally get the wife to participate with me in public. Then.... go out in public only to find The Cruel World she predicted would be there.

Now.... as for the purge. STOP! You know those clothes are coming out. Before you do something rash and actually toss something, stop and consider. The World is indeed cruel. It looks like the important business and political bridges you had are burned, so what is there to lose? Go back to being Amber on Amber's terms. Unless it becomes an actual physical threat or an experience of enduring rude public comments, I'd put the political rejection aside as a bad lesson learned and enjoy yourself and your wife.

[alwayshave]

Amber-Sue, If the jeanie is out of the bottle can you put it back in? Will the members of your local historical society now accept you? They still know. I'd keep on dressing.

[Krisi]

There are consequences to openly crossdressing and that is why many of us keep our dressing private or take it to other towns away from people we know. How we act on our own time shouldn't be important to others but the fact is, they make a big deal out of it.

Unless you move to a new town and start a new life, folks you know will remember that you are a crossdresser so you might as well keep doing it. You can't put the toothpaste back into the tube.