Colleague and waiter

[LeslieSD]

Actually my colleague has nothing to do with the waiter. The two incidences just happened to be on the same outing.

I went on a business trip recently. As usual, I always bring my Leslie stuff along. After work, I just finished early and went back to the hotel to prepare for a dinner out as Leslie. In the company I worked for, we book our travels ourselves. So I was not concerned too much about finding my colleague in the same hotel as there are too many to choose from. So I got ready and decided to walk out to the next block to find a restaurant. But you know, the unexpected has happen some day. Just when I was walking out, I saw someone walking in my direction. And I recognized immediately that is my colleague who are coming for the same meeting we had in the afternoon. I was a bit nervous, but I reminded myself that no one should be able to tell, especially in the street (even though there are only 3 or 4 people in the street at that moment). So I just held myself high and walk right past him. I even sneaked a peek after we passed each other, and yep, he doesn't have a clue!

So I was pretty pumped up from the confidence and picked this nice expensive seafood restaurant. Here came the waiter and the first thing he asked "what can I get you to drink, SIR?" Sir? My confidence bubble was immediately pop-ed. I thought I just had the world fooled. But what the heck, I am going to enjoy my company paid dinner. I kept my cool and happy self and order a cool sea bass. It all went uneventful, and the waiter, after the initial greeting, was extremely nice and polite. But I have decided to get this straight with him. So when I got my bill, I asked him over and said, "I have something to ask you. Why did you address me as Sir when you first come?" He immediately went blushing and apologized. He said there are someone who walked in front of him and got him totally distracted. I think I took his word and believed that he did not do it intentionally. I made my point, and I am sure he will remember it.

Here is a selfie I took in the street. Some of you might be able to recognize where it is.

Cheers,

Leslie

[Beverley Sims]

I only have to wear a different coloured wig to change my appearance completely.

Those that do know Beverley miss me most times.

[Sara Jessica]

Leslie, perhaps you are a better woman than I but if a waiter approached me and called me "sir" (when presenting as a female, of course), I'd have likely started by asking what part of my presentation makes him think "sir" followed by "don't answer, why don't you get your manager". Highly unlikely I'd stay, or ever come back.

Sound petty? I've been treated so outstanding at so many establishments that I wouldn't put up with that sort of snark no matter what the excuse.

But I'm glad you enjoyed your meal anyways :)!!!

[LeslieSD]

Sara, you are right! I wish I could be thinking that fast. I am usually very clumsy with words. On the other hand, I also thought it might just be a honest mistake. After all, it is in the Bay Area. It not like he hasn't seen many of us. But I don't know.

The meal was good, by the way. :)

[kimdl93]

You're both better looking women than I am, so I can understand being upset with being mis-gendered. But my guess is that the waiter in question may well have misspoken....may have indeed been distracted. in any case, I doubt it was malicious. People make mistakes. Its human. I do it all the time...not on gender, but it seems I can't keep peach and pear straight...even though I certainly know the difference.

[AllieSF]

Sorry to hear about your experience. It comes so unexpectedly that we are many times left in a state of complete surprise and somewhat speechless. That happened to a few short year ago when I was having Bloody Mary with a friend on the patio of the Pebble Beach Inn looking right at their famous 18th hole of the even more famous golf course. A young waiter seated us and used a masculine pronoun when, like you, I was clearly presenting as a woman. It clearly surprised me and I did not say anything at that moment. I waited until he came back to take our drink order and politely corrected him, even getting into a more detailed conversation with him later. Once corrected he was wonderful and I left him a full tip.

[alwayshave]

Leslie, I'm sorry you were sir-ed, you should not have been. Your picture is very nice.

[joank]

And yet I was Mam'd by a KFC cashier at the drive through window. I had my hair in a 'fro' poof and only flesh colored lip stick. Every thing else was neutral and I was driving my pick up. Go figure.

[Teresa]

Sara,
People make slip ups you can't believe they all do it intentionally , I slip up at our social evenings we have to live with it but I would never do it in a snarky way , I'm sure the waiter in Leslie's situation wouldn't have done it deliberately , he wouldn't have risked his job . The other side of the coin is being called madam or mam'd in a sarcastic way , which is worse ?

[Shely]

Leslie, Sorry for the last part of the story, but the first part is great. I can't see a sir while looking at our pictures and avatar. Wish i had a job where i could travel as Shely.